Is bad parenting the main reason for Bullying?

Question

Being_a_good_Indian · Accepted Answer

There is a clear connection between the way we parent our children and whether they become victims or perpetrators of bullying behaviors. This is in no way geared toward placing blame. Instead, it's a great way to strive to be the best parent/caregiver we possibly can.

There are 4 Parenting/Caregiving Styles (Baumrind):

1) Authoritarian - This is the style that uses violence and intimidation to get results from children. Specifically, this is the "do as I say because I said so" approach to raising children. Kids are expected to:

-obey authority without question
-accept the most severe form of punishment every time they break a rule
*This style leads to a child being raised as a bully. Why? A child who feels weak and powerless at home may want to feel powerful at school by bullying his/her classmates. If we model violence in our home, our children may learn by example and become violent as well.

2) Permissive - This is the type of style that is defined by the caregiver wanting nothing more than to be a child's best friend. There are no rules and the child is allowed to express himself or herself freely, even if it hurts someone else. Kids are allowed to:
-harm their parents/caretakers, peers, or siblings without consequence
-blame others for their own misbehavior
*This style also leads to a child being raised as a bully. Why? A child who gets away with everything at home, and is never told what he or she did is harmful, will not develop the empathy he or she needs to treat others with respect. This style in particular leads to aggressive-hostile children who feel it's their right to insult, mistreat, or bully their peers.

3) Rejecting/Neglecting - This is the style that is defined by parental absence or negligence. There are no rules, structure, or guidance. The parents or caregivers do not know their child's likes or dislikes, successes or failures.
Kids are allowed to:
-come and go as they please
-be alone and never get the appropriate attention
*This style leads to a child allowing himself or herself to be a victim of bullying behaviors. Unfortunately, children raised in this type of environment do not receive praise or attention and, consequently, do not develop high levels of self-worth. They become "easy targets" by classmates.

DomDaBomb · Accepted Answer

I believe so. I used to be bullied quite a bit when I lived with my mother. We were always poor, she was always out trying to find a good job, and she smoked a lot. Because of this, I smelled like cigarettes, I didn't have much time with her leaving me lonely, and because we didn't have too much money I was never able to go to some school events and other things whether it was gas or maybe it required a fee. Because of this I was never able really socialise and there were some kids who found me 'different' and just didn't like the negative vibe I gave off. My mother was a single parent trying to raise 3 boys and so it was really hard on her. I don't want to say it was bad parenting, but in a way it was. My point is that once she died in October of 2016, I moved on to a foster family. They loved me and would do a lot for me so I can experience even more. They taught me new things and I eventually got into working out just about 8 months ago. I socialised more because I was able to go out and see friends. I didn't smell like cigarettes anymore and overall my confidence just jumped. I have gotten into many better habits and lost many of my bad ones. I am never bullied anymore unless it was because of my political beliefs. I am always being called names only because I am conservative and support our current president of America. I live in a state that is primarily liberal so it is no surprise. And I do have liberal friends as I truly don't care about other's beliefs. It's when you care about what I believe is where there is an issue. My point is, after all of what I have gone through, my bullying has gone down significantly. Although I still have to deal with some shit still, it's because people hate my ideologies. So I think parenting can have something to do with it all. Not entirely though.

zazuun · Accepted Answer

I feel some parents give too much freedom to their kids specially from when the kids are from newborn to ten.
It's not a guarantee that the kid will not be a bully if given better discipline, but it is more likely.

It shocks me when I see kids, like 11 year olds, shouting at their parents or calling them names.

raspberry0416 · Accepted Answer

I think it's partly our nature. When kids are growing up we test boundaries and try to establish power over others. But we should grow out of that sort of thing when we get older and learn compassion for others.
Seeing bad relationships at home and imitating that behavior is another cause.

MargaritaPeach · Accepted Answer

No... after the age of 8 or 9, kids have formed enough personality to display their own characteristics and make fairly independent decisions about their actions. Some kids are just rotten, evil, mean, cruel and indifferent regardless of how they were raised.

rose004b · Accepted Answer

Our ego and misery is the cause. The latter is often product of bad parenting though.

dwiller943 · Accepted Answer

Nope. It causes you to be a target for other bullies.

Mexicoman101 · Answer

I think all of those things fit the bill. Its also caused by like, general defeceits of things like love & companionship in life, gradual accumulation of personal failures, and other things that cause a powder keg of spite. Definitely bigotries contribute to it. Sometimes its just a matter of exerting power over people, like when cops become bullies I think it usually comes from a lack abilit to exert change onto their own personal lives.

TheDamnYankeeLad · Answer

I think the main reason for bullying is boys beating each other up out of boredom, prejudice or over girls. I went to school in a majority black neighborhood. That was a clusterfuck; we Anglos and our Irish allies often had to deal with over zealous black kids convinced that the girls were theirs by right. Anyways, extensive bullying both in elementary school and in middle school and I'm a better man for it. It's just a part of life that kids need to learn to get through.

tartaarsaus · Answer

My theory is that bullying happens simply because we are social animals. Social creatures create hierarchies and to be on the top of a hierarchy, to be the alpha, one needs to establish dominance on the weaker ones.

Browneye57 · Answer

Nope, it's not the parents fault.  And all the whining about bullying comes from helicopter moms.  Just give it up.

HughJass · Answer

Parenting is 70% of the bullying reason in a kid. Second thing is their EGO.

Hv_shamey · Answer

Bullying happens because it is fun to do. Especially funny when the victim commits suicide.

DonkeyRick69 · Answer

No. Often bullies have emotional or psychological issues that have nothing to do with their parents

es20490446e · Answer

Nope, I was heavily bullied and there was no problem at home. The problem is the school.

BronzedAdonis · Answer

not necessarily kids are assholes because they haven't been properly socialized regardless of parents competence

Smegskull · Answer

No. Not being popular and cool is the main reason people get bullied.

WiseTurtle · Answer

might took a part of the responsability.

normielover6969xD · Answer

Nope. Mainly its genetic

masterotaku · Answer

Yes it is most assuredly the main reason.

topi_tonge · Answer

can be!

twizzy4life · Answer

Duh.

jacquesvol · Answer

I agree with that.

Видар · Answer

Yes.

Decentguy · Answer

it is one of them

Insanyx12 · Answer

Yessss

Kimosabi · Answer

Hell yeah

Amanlloyds · Answer

Isn't that obvious?

Is bad parenting the main reason for Bullying?

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