Am I a sugar mama or a ball buster?

[macy23]

Last guy I dated HATED the fact that I made more money than him, than I managed money better than him, and that I was successful at managing commercial finances.

Is this just him, or is this ALL men?

Is it a kick in the balls that I'm decent with money?

I don't want to be someone's sugar mama, I'd rather be right on par, but why RESENT a girl for it?

[sedstar]

My old lady makes more money than I do. I really don't care.

BUT... most of my friends are intimidated to date a woman taller then they are... I feel they are whusses. I'm 6 foot even, but in college liked several lady vollayball players and basketball players I mety at the gym. 6'2" didn't bother me a bit.

I'm not intimidated by a man a couple inches taller than me, why should I be afraid of a cute girl the same height?

What do I care if my old lady nakes more money than I do? no sweat off my balls. but again, I'm not jealous or intimidated...

BUT, all my guy friends say "thats weird, dude. I;d NEVER be with a chick that thought she was gonna make more money than me." WHich makes no sense to me...

these are the same men that are intimidated bo other MEN that make more money than they do, LMO, and intimidated by taller guys around them, etc etc etc...

we are not ALL insecure.

Hells bells, my old lady confirms all the judges in my state, among other things, she runs that committe. And somehow I STILL pay when we go out even though she makes 4x what I do.

I really don't care what she makes or doesn't make. Its not a big deal to me. She buys her own car, and even bough her own house close to work. Again, why should I complain she has her own cash? I don't get "thing one" out of it... that's her money, tell you the truth, I don't know WHAT she does with all of it. That's her business...

PS - just don't start POINTING IT OUT, and telling your boyfriend how to run his financial life if he doesn't ask for advice... then you are a b!tch...

hey man, a chick with money is no harder to deal with than an ordinary babe in my book. of course, I really don't suck up to rich MEN either.

[irongrunty]

Some guys pride themselves on stuff like that, I guess. I know my ex totally resented the fact that I was better at chemistry then she was (she was a chemistry major, I used to be an electrical engineering major with a deviant interest in psychedelic drugs). It ended up being a contributing factor to our breakup.

Some people just can't handle it, since they value themselves on that. It's understandable, but not easy to work around. Think about it - what are you proud of yourself at doing? Say, video games. Now imagine your spouse comes up, picks up something you've been working your ass off at becoming good at, and blows you away. Well, you'd kind of get pissed right? Especially since you've been working SO HARD at it, you'd feel insignificant, insulted, like your efforts go unseen.

And hell, we were in lab together as partners. I'd give in every so often and let her do her thing, but then we'd stay in past the end of lab and I *hated* being last.

Say something like "I know you're working hard", or something. Reassure them that their efforts are noticed. Idk, it never worked out for me. After the first "bite", its like everything you say is an insult directed at them. Good luck!

[KERMlT]

It depends on how the person acts. If they try to throw it in someone's face then yeah I can see why people would be put off by it. Others have this deep seeded belief that the guy is supposed to bring home the bacon. They may also feel that a woman's place is in the kitchen so it's good that you don't stay with those type of guys.

I don't have a problem with it but I can see the strain around holidays and birthdays. I see it from women on here as well. The guy gets them an expensive gift and she can't compete. Gift prices may not represent how much they appreciate the relationship. A thoughtful gift may not need to be expensive.

Don't worry about those guys, they seem to have ego problems as well. And you know how some of them have a 'failure to launch' in the bedroom. Be proud you have financial skills. :)

[Dylan1989]

Some guy feel it's their duty to handle the financial side of things rather than their s/o deal with those matters. I guess it's all part of what society deems a guy to be these days (stupid society, it sucks). Like how society tells us that men always have to initiate first contact and approach the girl and ask them out on a date. But on the other hand, there are plenty of women who go against what society has taught them and there are plenty of guys who are willing to join those women.

I personally wouldn't hate a woman who knows how to manage her finances and make a lot of money. It's actually refreshing to hear there are still women who don't rely on men to handle the financial side of a relationship. There are plenty of guys who would be happy to be with a girl like you. I knows this sounds cliched, but you just have to look for those guys.

[Gregs]

sounds strange, just know that it's absolutely not all guys, pretty much all the women I dated made more money than me and I loved it, they would buy me heaps of cool sh*t and take me out to mad restaurants all the time, it's one of the good things that came out of feminism for guys

[irykiryk]

It is definitely not a like a kick in the balls! It's more like a flick.