Has your high school bully ever apologized to you?

[fashionguy17]

Well.. this is a head scratcher for me and I am not sure how to process it.

I am not going to go into too much detail about my high school life, because this will be a couple pages. Lol. Let's just say I had a lot of bad experiences with people in high school and it really influenced how I thought about people after high school and going into the real world.

Anyway... It's been 10 years since I finished high school. About 3 months ago, a bully from high school sent me a friend request on Facebook. I instantly rejected it and didn't think anything more of it.

Yesterday, I was on Facebook just clearing out some old notifications... and I saw my bully left me a message from 3 months ago and I must have missed it after I rejected his friend request. I decided to read the message and it said:

"Hey man I was going through Facebook and saw you under the the people you may know section and thought I'd reach out. I'm really sorry about the way I treated you in high school. It wasn't right, and I was such a idiotic douchebag for doing so. Anyway... I just wanted to apologize and I hope life is treating you well."

I didn't respond to the message... but it sort of resonated with me.

[Dongtai]

I’ll answer from a former bully’s perspective. It made me think about if I was one or not.
In high school we had this weird pecking order. We all talked to eachother and did stuff. We weren’t physically assaulting anyone or making people kill themselves. But there were definitely people we laughed at and made fun of.

Like there was this kid who had this stutter that we all made fun of in subtle ways. Like we’d all look forward to him reading, we had these secret nicknames for him. I don't know. I feel horrible as I write this.

Anyway I believe sometimes people grow out of their old ways and realize what they did was wrong. Especially while transitioning into adulthood and understanding how destructive bullying can be.

For me, I needed to reach out and apologize because one, I felt that he deserved it and needed to know that at least “some” of us regret how we treated him and realize it was wrong. The second reason being it just want who I was anymore and I wanted to right my wrongs.

If you wrong someone I believe an apology can help them move on and grow in the biggest way. It gives them that closure. I wanted to give him closure. So I actually sought this guy out and apologized from the bottom of my heart. I’ve apologized to a few people actually for the same reasons I’ve given.

I just realized no one deserves to be bullied. It was my duty to right those wrongs.

Thankfully they all took it with grace. We’re good now and they’re doing well.

For you I will say, its absolutely not your fault that kids treated you that way. And that stuff can have a bad effect on you. But listen. Put that on them. Don’t carry that pain and don’t let it hold you back in life. They were jerks and that’s on them. But how you move forward with your life is on you. I would take that apology and use it to grow. Kids can be stupid. Don’t let it hold you back.

[N192K001]

He has reached-out and had the guts to apologize. Perhaps, a positive response would be in order. If he's really guilty about that, it may have have eaten at him for years, depending on when he had a change-of-heart.

In my case, I never had a high-school bully. I did have 2groups of bullies back in grade-school before home-schooling. When I went to high-school in the U. S., I was surprised to find myself a popular-kid.

The 1st bully-squad leader never really apologized to me. (Or he did, but forgot, given his mental-issue, the same way he would forget our becoming friends the next day, despite me having to endure a day's worth of mistreatment while trying to mend ties, just to earn the few-minutes' worth of friendship.) The 2nd only did after going way too far (the last time he & his gang bullied me: having me attacked into the pavement on all sides by him, his crew, and 1-2class's worth of underclassmen they commandeered as elders… in front of the school assembly for all to see) and, consequently, getting literally slapped-around and scholded by the principal, our teacher, and my mother in front of the entire school. He apologized and never bullied me again. After that (followed by home-schooling and transferring to the U. S.), I've never been able to make-contact anyone from those schools again.

[itsthatgurl]

Aw that's nice he did that. It's the little things that count, like to know that at least he has some guilt from what he did but in no way does it mean you should ignore what he did to you in the past because it has affected you and hopefully made you stronger and it's also made you into the person you are today.

I got bullied in elementary school and none of them have ever apologized for it. I think a lot of the time people don't even really consider that what they did impacted you or offended you and also stays with you for the rest of your life. People may also think oh I was just a kid back then and even now that I think about it when I was little (probably in grade 2) I wasn't the nicest person and I even made fun of other kids in my class with another girl who was my best friend at the time. It just shows how much adults' and parents' behaviour so greatly impacts us as kids as we look up to them as role models. Even I myself have thought about apologizing to this one boy I used to call names and he even cried which makes me wanna cry right now. But it's important to know that we grow as human beings and our thoughts and actions change as we educate ourselves (as well as our morals) and asls nobody's perfect but as long as we come to terms with things we wish we did differently in the past I think that's what shows we have become better people.

[aicarg]

Bahaha. Gosh I have a number of people that I'd categorize as bullies, and majority of them have not apologized. And majority of them I see working at fast food joints or retail stores.

One whom has reached out is actually my first ex boyfriend, I've accepted his apology, but I don't care to reconnect with him at all. He is currently dating an old close high school friend of mine whom I've lost contact with through university, but have been somewhat reacquainted with. The damage he has done in the past is forgivable to me, but just something that is unforgettable and the idea that he wants to "get together" and hangout with my now boyfriend and I for a double date is awkward in my books.

[CubsterShura]

A guy used to bully me in elementary school. A year ago we found each other on social media. He kind of texted me without ever directly apologizing. More like 'remember me? I used to disturb you a lot in school' and somehow he actually became a friend.

I'm still in high school now. A guy was bullying me in front of people and when I called him out on that around those people he finally apologized. Which was so crazy because I never did that before. I never knew how to react to a bully but my boyfriend was like 'no u have to call him out on his behavior' so I did and I'm so happy that I did it.

[BlackRoseFairy]

This happened to me too. His father owns a place in my old neighbourhood. The other day I was there to visit a friend and thought I'd go there to say hello and get some stuff.
I had the impression that he was out of town for studies, and I walked into the shop and there he was standing right in front of me. I decided to play it cool and act as if nothing had ever happened. He actually initiated a conversation and we went out for a coffee. Had a long talk and among other things he apologised for his behaviour. He said that he was immature back then and that his apology doesn't erase what had happened but that he hoped I would be able to forgive him and not hold a grudge. It brought a little piece of peace.
Later that day he even arranged for me to meet up with the rest of the "gang" he used to hang out with and made sure they would apologise too.

[BattleKitten77]

Wow. That is amazing. The cunt who ruined my life in high school is still a cunt. In fact she tried to get me fired years after high school because i just didn't fit in at work. This is not the first time i have been bullied after high school by a group of bitches. I would love someone to take responsibility but that is nearly impossible for women. They somehow twist the situation into them being the victim. In fact i posted a story about being bullied on here and a group of pig cunts attacked me and said i deserved it because i called them names. Maybe i call women names because of how i have been treated. I can guaratee almost no woman has ever apologized for this.
Sorry my problem not yours. I say forgive him. Thank God he has grown and matured. So many people today blame others and refuse to say i am sorry. Talk to him. I am curious what he will say. Update us. This is an amazing story

[Blueeyes81]

I was never really bullied. The closest thing I had to a bully was a sister 2 years older than me who was an absolute bitch as a teenager. A couple years ago we were talking about high school and I told her how much I hated her back then. she's since apologized several times for being such a bitch. She said she was really trying to get in with the whole "it" crowd and was trying to get me to fall in line so I wouldn't reflect badly on her. I never gave two shits about any of that and just did me regardless of what others thought. So she felt the need to try and get me inline. The result, a mega bitch who was trying to impress a bunch of people who were as fake as trumps tan. Thats the closest thing I had to a bully.

[OrangeBoy2]

You good with her now? Good brothers?

[Blueeyes81]

@OrangeBoy2 we're good. Once she got out of high school she was a different person. We've been on good terms ever since.

[OrangeBoy2]

That's nice. My advice is... Keep makink that link stronger.

[Hidden_P]

I had someone from primary school apologise and it was special. I had people from high school who didn’t bully me but simply either were nasty of ignored me who have apologised.

I think you need to accept. They are trying to grow and be a better person and they deserve your acceptance (where appropriate. If for instance my high school bully who pinned me by the throat to the wall, chased me so I bit through my lip, sabotaged my gcse exam results, released explicit information about my brother, I would burn that fucking scum to the ground).

It’s levels of what they did compared to the outcome. It sounds like this guy just wants to apologise for being a dick

[Vesuvius87]

I didn't have any bully in HS.
However, I was bullied in both grade school, 7th grade and a bit in 8th grade.

I've only gotten 2 apologies and both were crappy. The first one was in 6th grade. The guy only apologized because he knew we weren't going to see each other again and that I was gonna go to a different middle school. I didn't accept it.

In 7th grade, the meanest girl only apologized because I fought her back, reported her to the office and we were both threatened with her suspension. All of the sudden, she was in tears and said ''I'm sorry Vesuvius87'' (yeah right). This time, I forgave too easily and like an idiot let her befriend me. She ended up faking a friendship with me for that whole school year. By the next year and so on, she ignored me and even scream in disgust whenever we bump into each other. Biotch.

[JohnAlaska43]

Mine did and were friends today.
Look I get they hurt me. But if they legit apologize I forgive them.
I get what they did was wrong I was tormented but ill never not forgive them in the long run. Its hard to explain but I know if I want to be forgiven I need to forgive them.
Most are really cool guys just were messed up. No it wasn't right and no I dont condone it but if they are willing to seek me out its good enough for me. I still have people I won't get along with but in the long run letting go is the best thing.

[cutsleeveboy]

I beat the crap out of the bullies at my high school and my classmates loved me for it. I chatted with most of my classmates. did a lot of weightlifting. played football and wrestled and ran track and was very extroverted and sociable. You should respond to him as he realized he did you wrong in high school. I usually wore a tight tank top and shorter shorts with pockets to show off my build at school. outside of school I would go shirtless to show my build plus I loved being shirtless. I liked being eye candy for my class mates.

[Justme12]

That's pretty wild. I was a loner throughout my school years. I was picked on at first but after standing up to my bully the school found out that I was extremely good at fighting. I studied martial arts for quite some time before that incident. I joined in on picking on a kid (no hitting) and I tossed his wallet back to the kids who took it. I got home that day and I started to hate myself for not standing up for him. After that I swore not to ever let anyone else bully anyone. I was suspended 3 times because of my promise to myself. Even my mother excused me when I got suspended. She knew how I felt about bullies and what I was involved with.

[ColoradoKid]

I had a similar experience. My mom was friends with his dad in high school. I doubt he knew it and I know i didn't. My mom was telling me that her high school friends son passed away and he was my age. I asked her the name of this person and it was the very same. I told my mom that him and his friends would pick on me and when I stood up to both of them they chickened out. This guy is gone now and I honestly have no love lost like I do for some of the other people who passed away from my high school class.

[GhettoGirl]

No I dont guess she got a good chance to. Her name was Sharonda and she tormented me from 7th grade all the way till junior year. A year older than I she was a senior in school when she was in a car with her boyfriend a known gang member whom had a hit on him from the street. She was hit with gunfire four times in the head and chest and died at the scene with her greasy boyfriend slip off and avoided death for about a month.
Life in the big city.

[BigSlice]

Did you celebrate?

[GhettoGirl]

No I actually cried for her, I never hated her, I wanted to be in her "crowd" but I dressed like an "orphan". I do think we were only weeks from peace. She had been warm to me in the last months.

[Anonymous]

Unless the bully was knocking shit out of your hands or was fighting you, I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't even aware that their actions towards you made you felt like you were being bullied by them. That's why sometimes they don't remember because, to them, they weren't bullying you. To you, however, it ruined your day/week/month/year/ or even entire time in high school. I don't think I was ever truly bullied. There were some people who didn't like me and treated me like shit if the opportunity arose, but never went out of their way to treat me like shit. I was just someone they didn't like and made sure I knew it. That said, if they were hanging from a cliff desperately trying to hang on for their life and I was the only person around that could save them. I'd probably just walk away.

[Evil_Chuck]

Bullying was more of an elementary/middle school thing for me. By fighting back and making them respect me, I made friends out of some of the bullies, who then protected me from the others. That was as good as an apology in my book.
At other times, I was a bully myself. The kid I pushed around the most was fat and had an unusual accent, which made him an easy target. But no matter what I said to him, I couldn't get him down. He was totally happy and comfortable with himself, and nothing I did could change that. Basically he did the same thing I did to the other bullies: he made me respect him. Eventually I accepted defeat, apologized for being such an ass, and we moved on as friends.
All of this was done face to face, years before modern social media came into the picture.

[wyatt2295]

Think its just a part of growing up, wether your the bully or bullied

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

There was a guy in school who didn't physically bully me - he never actually touched me. But he did make fun of me a lot.

Anyway, we went to trade school together right after high school. One day he stopped me out in the parking lot and apologized. Apparently his father left at about the same time and he took his emotions out on other people. We're friends on Facebook now.

[loveisbeautiful]

Mine were middle school bullies and for that to happen, they'd actually have to be held accountable for what they did but they weren't. So, you can't apologize if you never thought you did wrong. That's very nice that yours apologized though. I guess that person must have done some soul searching and realized the error of their ways.

[Fuentes]

I never been bullied infact i defended the bullied if i saw they weren't gonna fight back where their situations where some people asked for the bullying among themselves yuup but when i was 14 i took part in bullying but it wasn't really bullying the guy was bullying shorter kids and claiming he was a "Blood" and he was new and would only pick on kids smaller then him so i would knock the binder out of his hand when he walked by and call him a slob on purpose and would punk him because he woudn't try that with anyone his size so i never liked him for that. Eventually he changed i saw him in the mall years later he looked very afraid of me lol so i just told him its all good if he's not on the BS idc we were young then and he completely changed and lit up and started talking

[CherryRoseChampange]

No, I never had a high school bully. If I did, I would done something like fucked them up with my school chair or caught them on their way home.

Lol, everyone learned not to mess with me in middle school. Just roast them and beat the fuck outta one person to make an example. Solves all of that.

[MissChasityL]

I’ve never been bullied because I’ve been ‘one of the popular kids, regardless my highschool friends used to bully people.. They were feeling better about themselves while bringing others down. They were just insecure little trashes, they probably still are.

[VIVANT]

Why were you friends with them 😐

(If they were friends yet I were complicit)

[MissChasityL]

@VIVANT I don’t know why I was friends with them to be honest.. They were shallow asf

[muliebrity]

Oh yes! randomly after 6+ years. She bumped into me at a grocery market. Apologized and repented. I told her all is forgiven and dont consider high school drama as being an absolute judgement on character. We all were growing and experiencing our own issues. We talk on and off nowadays

[MarkRet]

I had a couple of bullies in middle school and high school. None of them ever apologized. I moved away a couple of years after graduation, and I don't get on Facebook or anything like that, so I keep a pretty low profile and don't know what happened to most of them. I heard that the biggest bully (not just to me, he was an asshole to everybody) died a couple of years ago. He's probably in hell, where he belongs.