Exactly this is why he would be a beta cuck.
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What u mean wired differently?
They think differently and have different priorities.
Whats your opinion about these guys?
It's not that you are "not getting what you want". You can have an extremely satisfying sex life but still want some variety. Example: One of my favorite lovers, we'll call her "Ninja" (my pet name for her). She was an ideal fantasy lover for me, did everything I asked of her. Not that she was a pushover, she fought back a bit and was playful and bratty in just the right ways. She was extremely turned on by my style, and worked hard to please me. Our dynamic was... very dynamic. But all that did not prevent or preclude me from continuing to flirt and find other women attractive, and to find pleasure in encounters with them. Let me try to explain it this way. Life is an all you can eat buffet. I get it, you love cheesecake. But when you go to the all you can eat buffet, do you just pile your plate full of 3lbs of cheesecake? Maybe you do. That's monogamy. Polyamory/open relationship means you love cheesecake. But you also put some sweet and sour chicken on your plate, sushi, shrimp stuffed avocado, seaweed salad, injera, dumplings, green salad, potstickers, etc, etc. Whatever catches your eye and makes your mouth water. Variety is not just more fun, it's also healthier, at least when it comes to food. You get a wider variety of vitamins and other nutrients. I feel that way about relationships. Just one on one all the time you are just getting one kind of "nutrient", and missing out on a lot of perspective that could help you to grow. The world is my oyster/endless buffet, I'm not going to limit myself to one choice on my plate for the rest of my life.
@zeitgeist057 While I'm totally cool with your poly life as long as you're not causing anyone harm, I'll have to disagree with you example of foods representing relationships. I think the food example would work better with sex instead because like food, it happens, you get happy from it, and you get satisfied for an amount of time before another craving. Relationships are obviously more complex and mostly considered to be a more constant thing... kind of like drinking water throughout the day. And while Variety it definitely important in relationships that doesn't mean that the variety has to always present in you romantic relationships. While being in a relationship does grant you access to a deeper understanding of the person you're with you can still get great experience with friendships. You may not have the same experiences of moving in together, going on dates, meeting the parents and generally spending a lot of time with each other consistently but you definitely get to see different personalities, styles, and ways of thinking.At least in my case the top and bottom half of people are detachable... I mean like sex and relationships. While I'm not against one night stands and casual sex I could never do those things knowing that at least mentally I was connected with someone. And If I was presented the same dick that possessed the same skill I would find the one that I'm in a relationship with to still be the more attractive because the relationship it's self brings a level of attraction and connection that a random dick never could. (lol I'm tired I don't know if this makes any since)
Another point, I personally hold my self and my life I guess to a certain standard. Like most, I won't carelessly just tell you about all my intricacies and beliefs if I haven't already deemed you "worthy". That sound pretentious but I mean it in a way like I know that I could trust you and you wouldn't take what I've said or done and leave me or tell other people. If I let you bare witness to my soul It'll only ever be because I love you enough or you're a complete stranger that doesn't know me or that I'll never see again. And I hold my lover to the same regard, if they're willing to show me something that they usually hide then I'll cherish it knowing that means I'm special.
There is an underlying issue in most poly/mono discussions because they operate in different paradigms. Part of the language and phrasing you are using identifies one of these disconnections. There is an inference that multiple relationships somehow lessen or demean intimacy. Incidents of one night stands and casual sex are common among "monogamous" people. I also hold myself to a certain standard, and I view sex as an intimate act. I'm not sexually attracted to males, but when I develop an intimate bond with females, if that personal connection is also combined with a physical attraction, I feel it is natural and right to act on the attraction and allow it to draw us closer (physically). There's a sort of magic that happens with that energy, when the "top half and bottom half", as you put it, combine. A level of intimacy is reached with the synergy of body and mind that is not reached with just one or just the other.
I think this is a commonality in mono/poly perspectives, but at this point they diverge. Mono says: "wow, this is great. I want to focus on this but only with this particular person." It's about cherishing a precious feeling and wanting to honor it with exclusivity.Whereas Poly says: "Wow, this is great. I want to share this with others who I have similar connections with." It's about cherishing a beautiful feeling, and wanting to share this feeling with others. But not necessarily everyone. I tend to be pretty selective when and with whom I get this intimate with. There is a common misconception monogamous people make about poly people: that they are just off willy nilly trying to get laid by whomever, whenever, with no depth or meaning to their sexual interactions. The reason again is that paradigm shift. A monogamous person understands the world from a monogamous perspective. If they were to seek sex from more than one person, it means something different to them (like they don't care very much about anyone they are having sex with) than it does to a poly person.
@zeitgeist057 so then a booty call/ hook up is different than your poly relationships? It sounds like having casual sex friends, you like them enough on a mental level that when physical with them it ends in a better experience than some hook up. when I think of people in a poly marriage I still think of people committed to their partners, if they're four people in the marriage they can fiddle about with each other but they don't just go fuck other people. But also when I think of poly relations I would think of it still similar to a mon relationship in that you still spend time with the other person non sexually but if you have like a dozen partners how are you supposed to make enough time for them? And if you only see them more casually then what distinguishes them from a sex friend? All this sounds confusing and stressful. (´｀;)
Who said he is?
@Unit1I think it was just a general response, and not directed towards me... At least I think it's not.
How u view the things?
In a different way.
The hate is strong on those downvotes lol