Do you view men who participate in open relationships as being beta males?

[Physics-Man]

Like guys who're okay with their girlfriends having other boyfriends or banging other guys?

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ywmykm/we-asked-couples-why-they-opened-up-their-relationship

Yes

No

[zeitgeist057]

I’m poly, That is to say I only participate in open relationships. I’m fine with my partners enjoying themselves however they like with whomever they like. The truth is, women tend to be more monogamous and generally don’t take advantage of the freedom as much as I do. Sometimes, not at all. Not that it would bother me if they did.

I don’t really worry a whole lot about who is an alpha or beta male, that kind of hand wringing and fretting is for betas, lol.

What dudes are worried about if their partner hooks up with someone else is that that other dude is gonna be a better lay than they are, may be a better person in general, and they’re going to just get left out in the cold. That’s not really a concern for me.

not to say it’s not a possibility, I’m not that arrogant to think that there’s no better men out there than I am. There’s plenty better smarter, richer, better looking, bigger dicks or whatever. But I’m me, I’m the only me, and if a girl wants to be with me, then the possibility is open. if she find somebody else she’d rather be with, and that means she wants to ditch out on me, that’s fine. I’m a free person, she’s a free person. And maybe she’ll figure out that whoever she left me for isn’t willing to give her the same freedoms, the person maybe wants to own her, make her his possession. If that’s what she wants (and some women do), great, I want her to have what she wants. But she finds she prefers freedom, she’s gonna come back around.

I’m never gonna find myself in a position where I’ve got a beautiful woman in front of me who wants to get more intimate, but I got to turn her down because I’m owned, the possession of some other woman waiting for me at home.

you tell me who’s the Beta? The dude who is desperately hanging onto one and only one girl? Who is scared to look at or interact with other women he is attracted to, or if he does, he has to hide it and lie about it to his partner?

or the guy who enjoys interacting with a variety of women on various levels of intimacy, who he is confident enough to treat with honesty and respect, and receives the same in kind?

Not to bash on monogamy too much, I used to think I was monogamous too, and I used to get so upset thinking even an ex-girlfriend of mine was getting with a new man. But I’m past all that now, and glad for it.

[WhiteSteve]

I mean... aren’t the guys free to do their thing too? If only one person is getting all the side action, I see the concern, but in a mutually open deal, I don’t take issue. Wouldn’t do it myself because my girl could probably go get laid at the drop of a hat and I’d have to hustle for it, lmao, but in theory, I guess all things are equal.

[bamesjond0069]

Exactly this is why he would be a beta cuck.

[Tamera952]

Umm, no not necessarily. I also never really categorize guys in that way, (alpha or beta) in general, and kinda think of open relationships as hard to maintain, semi-problematic, but ultimately think it's cool if they think it works for them. They seem potentially mutually beneficial if it works, and isn't really a defining factor or commentary on whether or not the guy is, or is not, a beta male.

[modelUN242]

Yes you're a pussy male.

[MzAsh]

Maybe. Nothing wrong with beta males. They’re just wired differently.

[mariospapadopoulos12]

What u mean wired differently?

[MzAsh]

They think differently and have different priorities.

[mariospapadopoulos12]

Whats your opinion about these guys?

[Kaneki05]

Nah. Just means the guy can have sex with more women if doing that is, classed as beta. Then well beta is a really dumb term. Since Alpha and beta are to suggest back to the wild were the alpha animal could sleep with any girls he wanted. And sure they could care if one of the girls slept with slept with someone else but eh there not bothered if there is plenty others out there.
So in fact your more in a sense Alpha if you sleep with tons of girls in open relationship. Cause your giving into instinct to have sex with many which naturally most animals do. Don't see a dog just hump one lady dog over it's life time i can tell you that. And Alpha is just descending from been the top dog as people would put it. Such a anyway dumb term we reference animals to the way we breed and act when most animals ain't very good remodels.
Also does it matter? Only a prick would judge someone and how they have there relationship if it makes them happy and they want it that way. Like making a judgement over someone not just wanting Missionary all the time, hey it's none of your goddamn business lol

[errorgoodnameunfound]

They CAN be "betas". But remember, open is open. Who says ONLY the females are fucking other people? It just takes coming up with strong terms of agreement. If a woman wanted an open relationship with me, I'd simply say OK ONLY on terms of even ground. No even ground, no deal. It's not complicated. You CAN get screwed by it, if not careful, but if you set clear terms in advance you don't have to be screwed by it.

In fact, if I had a girlfriend insisted that she be able to whore around on Instagram or onlyfans, I'd allow it ONLY if I get half the profit/fame, and I'd be able to invade on it anytime to make any sort of joke or whatever. Most likely they'd then say forget it, and problem would solve itself without me sounding close minded. If they persist, I'd still win.

[RemoErdosain]

I think a guy who is really confident in himself will never agree to having an open relationship, because he will be confident that he can get a girl that will respect him enough as to remain loyal the whole time. Most people don't find the idea of their partner having sex with others particularly appealing. Some are OK with it, but do they really enjoy it? I bet most of them don't, and the ones that do are probably about as abundant as the ones who enjoy pegging. So yes, when someone tells me they're in an open relationship, I lose respect for them

[pigoat]

I mean an open relationship both parties are out fucking about, so no


She would have to be the only one fucking around while he ALWAYS stays at home waiting for her lmao

In GENERAL i never here people calling a man a beta who is in an OPEN relationship

[zollo]

I mean no not really... An open relationship doesn't mean it's only open for the women. The man also gets to go wrangle up some new puss puss which in some peoples eyes make him more of an alpha. But that's why I don't really understand open relationship in the first place, like if you're not getting what you want from your partner and there's no way around it than just leave.

[zeitgeist057]

It's not that you are "not getting what you want". You can have an extremely satisfying sex life but still want some variety.

Example: One of my favorite lovers, we'll call her "Ninja" (my pet name for her). She was an ideal fantasy lover for me, did everything I asked of her. Not that she was a pushover, she fought back a bit and was playful and bratty in just the right ways. She was extremely turned on by my style, and worked hard to please me. Our dynamic was... very dynamic.
But all that did not prevent or preclude me from continuing to flirt and find other women attractive, and to find pleasure in encounters with them.

Let me try to explain it this way. Life is an all you can eat buffet. I get it, you love cheesecake. But when you go to the all you can eat buffet, do you just pile your plate full of 3lbs of cheesecake? Maybe you do. That's monogamy.
Polyamory/open relationship means you love cheesecake. But you also put some sweet and sour chicken on your plate, sushi, shrimp stuffed avocado, seaweed salad, injera, dumplings, green salad, potstickers, etc, etc. Whatever catches your eye and makes your mouth water.

Variety is not just more fun, it's also healthier, at least when it comes to food. You get a wider variety of vitamins and other nutrients. I feel that way about relationships. Just one on one all the time you are just getting one kind of "nutrient", and missing out on a lot of perspective that could help you to grow.

The world is my oyster/endless buffet, I'm not going to limit myself to one choice on my plate for the rest of my life.

[zollo]

@zeitgeist057 While I'm totally cool with your poly life as long as you're not causing anyone harm, I'll have to disagree with you example of foods representing relationships. I think the food example would work better with sex instead because like food, it happens, you get happy from it, and you get satisfied for an amount of time before another craving. Relationships are obviously more complex and mostly considered to be a more constant thing... kind of like drinking water throughout the day. And while Variety it definitely important in relationships that doesn't mean that the variety has to always present in you romantic relationships. While being in a relationship does grant you access to a deeper understanding of the person you're with you can still get great experience with friendships. You may not have the same experiences of moving in together, going on dates, meeting the parents and generally spending a lot of time with each other consistently but you definitely get to see different personalities, styles, and ways of thinking.

At least in my case the top and bottom half of people are detachable... I mean like sex and relationships. While I'm not against one night stands and casual sex I could never do those things knowing that at least mentally I was connected with someone. And If I was presented the same dick that possessed the same skill I would find the one that I'm in a relationship with to still be the more attractive because the relationship it's self brings a level of attraction and connection that a random dick never could. (lol I'm tired I don't know if this makes any since)

[zollo]

Another point, I personally hold my self and my life I guess to a certain standard. Like most, I won't carelessly just tell you about all my intricacies and beliefs if I haven't already deemed you "worthy". That sound pretentious but I mean it in a way like I know that I could trust you and you wouldn't take what I've said or done and leave me or tell other people. If I let you bare witness to my soul It'll only ever be because I love you enough or you're a complete stranger that doesn't know me or that I'll never see again. And I hold my lover to the same regard, if they're willing to show me something that they usually hide then I'll cherish it knowing that means I'm special.

[zeitgeist057]

There is an underlying issue in most poly/mono discussions because they operate in different paradigms. Part of the language and phrasing you are using identifies one of these disconnections. There is an inference that multiple relationships somehow lessen or demean intimacy. Incidents of one night stands and casual sex are common among "monogamous" people.

I also hold myself to a certain standard, and I view sex as an intimate act. I'm not sexually attracted to males, but when I develop an intimate bond with females, if that personal connection is also combined with a physical attraction, I feel it is natural and right to act on the attraction and allow it to draw us closer (physically). There's a sort of magic that happens with that energy, when the "top half and bottom half", as you put it, combine. A level of intimacy is reached with the synergy of body and mind that is not reached with just one or just the other.

[zeitgeist057]

I think this is a commonality in mono/poly perspectives, but at this point they diverge. Mono says: "wow, this is great. I want to focus on this but only with this particular person." It's about cherishing a precious feeling and wanting to honor it with exclusivity.
Whereas Poly says: "Wow, this is great. I want to share this with others who I have similar connections with." It's about cherishing a beautiful feeling, and wanting to share this feeling with others. But not necessarily everyone. I tend to be pretty selective when and with whom I get this intimate with.

There is a common misconception monogamous people make about poly people: that they are just off willy nilly trying to get laid by whomever, whenever, with no depth or meaning to their sexual interactions. The reason again is that paradigm shift. A monogamous person understands the world from a monogamous perspective. If they were to seek sex from more than one person, it means something different to them (like they don't care very much about anyone they are having sex with) than it does to a poly person.

[zollo]

@zeitgeist057 so then a booty call/ hook up is different than your poly relationships? It sounds like having casual sex friends, you like them enough on a mental level that when physical with them it ends in a better experience than some hook up. when I think of people in a poly marriage I still think of people committed to their partners, if they're four people in the marriage they can fiddle about with each other but they don't just go fuck other people. But also when I think of poly relations I would think of it still similar to a mon relationship in that you still spend time with the other person non sexually but if you have like a dozen partners how are you supposed to make enough time for them? And if you only see them more casually then what distinguishes them from a sex friend? All this sounds confusing and stressful. (´｀;)

[zeitgeist057]

I don't feel too confused or stressed. Rather that categorize and classify all my relationships: "Okay, Monica is a 'booty-call'... I think Ariel is a 'friends with benefits' that might be something more someday... Athena is a friend I haven't slept with yet but might like to let's see where that leads... ". I just let things develop organically. It helps some people to categorize and make rules about how many dates they go on or what it means if they sleep with someone, have them meet their parents, etc. as if relationships were a video game where you meet certain criteria then you "level up". Much in the same way I didn't rate my mechanical skills as I developed them "I can change oil, but not rebuild a carburetor, so I'm a 'novice'. Okay, now I can rebuild a carb, so now I'm a 'tinkerer'..." I don't need to rate and classify every relationship. I know how it feels, and that is enough.

In my view, everyone has limitless potential. This relates to life, work, everything, not just love and sexual interactions. We all have the potential to change 180 degrees if we want to: a generous person could start acting selfish tomorrow, and a selfish person could act totally selflessly. Much in this same way, someone whom I have a working professional relationship one day, might be my lover the next. Or a lover could end up as a partner. Communication is essential, to find out how people are feeling and to make sure we are on the same page as far as expectations, goals, dreams, etc.

[zeitgeist057]

It boils down to connection. I have lovers I might not see for over a year, but that doesn't downgrade them to "sex friend". In fact, some of my most intimate connections are with people I don't see often (enough). Again, this crosses over into platonic relationships. Don't you have some high school or college friends, or some family members that it doesn't matter how long it's been, you are back to laughing and loving each other's company as if you saw each other yesterday? Another example is maybe there is a friend from high school whom you got along with smashingly, but you met up and now have next to nothing in common and the reunion felt awkward? Well, for me, lovers can be both those ways as well. Intimacy sometimes grows, and sometimes it's distance. To me, it's not something to fret about.

Your idea about four people messing around with each other is a form of polyamory with people practicing it. Polyamory is a pretty open term that encompasses a lot of widely different practices. The form you describe is more structured with different rules, many of which are monogamy-based, which might be part of why you can relate to it.

To me, it also comes back to the limitless possibilities. I feel love is limitless, and love without limits is what I attempt to practice.

[MannMitAntworten]

Eskimo Brothers! No thanks... It is a bizarre kink I want zero to do with. Not even as the man railing the other guy’s wife/girlfriend. Especially not with him their watching and waiting anxiously for me to cum in her just so he can slurp ‘me’ out of her... Just fucking wrong on every level. I want zero to do with the women who are desirous of this nuttiness as well.

[Thatsamazing]

Well, if he isn't also fucking multiple girls, then yes, beta. If he IS fucking multiple girls as well, then no, not beta at all. It depends on how they're doing it in that relationship.

[Anonymous]

You're ok with me having sex with other men? I'm not going to do that. You're a beta cuck, goodbye.

[Unit1]

Who said he is?

[Physics-Man]

@Unit1

I think it was just a general response, and not directed towards me... At least I think it's not.

[Opinion Owner]

@physics-man It was indeed just a general response.

[MelindaT510]

No, I see it as a lifestyle choice. Not if the man does it specificially to feel inferior to other men then yes.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Yep, they are beta and weak. Its really really pathetic and I really don't understand why any one would do it let alone be open about it.

[TruthBringer]

If a girl feels like she needs to get satisfaction elsewhere, while trying to benefit off of you, then you are a beta male 😂

[Volk_]

Who am I to judge. But I admit it will be difficulty to respect such a man.

[Silver158]

depends though, if he's getting as much action as her then no. However, I have heard of guys who agree to open relationships where only the girl gets to sleep around and in those cases yes.

[EssenceOfLight]

It depends where you stand. If you're the lover without any further obligations, you are the winner.
If you're "proud" spouse/boyfriend who allows his girl to fuck around, you're just a provider.

[t-8900]

Only if he's sharing the woman. If she's sharing him he's an alpha.

[bellybuttonlint]

Yes... there is no doubt these are beta males. Women will never be truly happy with them.

[mich15smith]

in most cases both partners can screw other people in open relationships but in the particular case you showed i just feel bad for the guy

[KrakenAttackin]

If you are the "primary" guy, yes you are Beta as fuck. If you are the second guy just banging the Beta's girlfriend, you are not Beta.

[captain_voidwalker]

Nope I view them as cucks. Even a beta male wouldn't put up with that shit