What do you think about reversed traditional gender roles in the home?

Question

Jake99999 · Accepted Answer

Okay this is a social change type of post here - to promote the overall change of traditional roles and coax out the "sexists"? There is only one "correct" answer that won't lead to someone being shamed or canceled or labeled a sexist these days. And that is to say, "sure, its super cool, its about time!". I mean that is the answer you want to see, right?

Me? I don't really care. To each their own. There is no right or wrong. This has been happening for a long time, decades, its not a new thing. It works for some, doesn't work for others. Like anything else, the maturity and level of self awareness of those involved is key. Each partner has to be comfortable with themself and not have any self esteem issues. And a relationship where each partner is not focused on a competition - but rather sees value in the teamwork and the dynamic is okay for them.

Some people with different values might not like that. People that like traditional values and traditional roles would not agree. That should be okay, diversity means all viewpoints, not just the popular / trendy ones. But lately it seems that anyone who has more traditional beliefs is getting trampled.

Bottom line, I am okay with it, have been for a very long time - its a free country and people can choose to make things work, however they want. I don't think anything less of a man in that role - and I don't think anything negative about a woman in the switched role either. It's all good.

Anyone who feels more strongly that traditional roles are still relevant - that's fine too. Diversity.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think... it should be left up to the man and woman of the house to decide their roles, and not let society dictate what men and women should and should not do because SJW fruitcakes think it's "oppressive".

MzAsh · Accepted Answer

I think it’s fine if that’s what both in the couple wants. In mine we’d be more likely to use reverse gender roles than traditional gender roles because I’ve tried the traditional and it’s just not for me. But right now we share pretty much all roles and responsibilities. It works well this way so far.

Ez-Bri-Z · Accepted Answer

I think gender roles should be gotten rid of completely. They are so outdated and only a hindrance to have all your eggs in one basket when both partners could be contributing equally.

Novacane · Answer

I would say it sounds good on paper but that results show otherwise. I just want to point out that I am all for it when it comes to switching to gender roles or equal households. Especially because we are more modern and women are now out-earning men.

One of the main reasons is as someone else mentioned already that it "Leads to divorce" which is sadly somewhat proven true, I know you mentioned that your brother and sister-in-law's case but also note that they are outliers as it's not happening as much as one may think everywhere else. In today's age, more people are getting divorced than before, and most of those divorces and initiated by women, and the most common reason for the divorce has been financial reasons. I heard a saying that said, "if you let a woman lead she will lead you to the end of that relationship" Truth is women are not used to taking care of a man who is a stay at home dad, they might tolerate it for a while but eventually they will get tired of it. There is a reason they say "His money is their money, and her money is her money". Women are not used to sharing resources the way men share resources with their significant other. Also, note that most women don't date down, women are most likely to date someone who makes as much as them or significantly more, as for men, they don't really look at that as a deciding factor, a man will date a woman no matter how much they make. So these women who make a lot are already limited on who they date. As we have seen it does happen here and there but it's rare and in most of those cases those relationships were already formed before money came into play.

Overall, if people want to gender swap and it works all power to them, I embrace those relationships that goes against the norm, but sadly at the moment, they are not as successful as we would want them to be.

bubbles328 · Answer

I absolutely love it!
I love my 2 kids so much and if I could stay with them 24/7 I would. During the pandemic I was a key worker and my partner was on furlough. My 2 teens were sometimes in school and sometimes home schooling. He cleaned and did most of the cooking and helped the kids with school work, he also ran my errands. I could just work then come home and enjoy life rather than do chores. He had to go back to work and I hate it.
I am a teacher and over the summer I am the one that stays home. I get bored and he does it better than me! When I go back we will both work full time and the chores will be 50/50. As you can see it’s a very flexible home and o think whatever suits the family is the best thing!
I need to work to be stimulated, I need big projects etc I just don’t feel fulfilled at home all the time

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

I honestly don't see anything wrong with that, I know my answer might be shocking but I seen really competent and successful women who really good at the work place. The same way in the reverse I had seen really nurtering men who are good at either cooking and just want to spend time with their children. I really don't see working out of the house as masculine or working inside of the house is feminine, if sure than I would and so many other men and boys would be labeled as girly for doing chores. How about women and girls who hae paid jobs and attending school are they now manly?

cloudspy · Answer

I have experienced this in a past relationship and when my partner did not work and stayed home with the baby I lost all respect for him. Might be something to do with the fact that he wasn't particularly good at it. Anyway, I resented being the breadwinner and did not find him sexually attractive anymore either. I did not feel very feminine either. It's so stupid and sexist I know, but that's just how I felt. I definitely prefer the more traditional way or a more equal way. I like to go out to work and I like to share the household chores and childcare. I like to cook for my man though cause it gives me pleasure. I find it more attractive when a man earns more than me, is able to fix things and build stuff, or at least try, can rescue me sometimes and wants to provide for his family.

Qdbrown · Answer

Within most American cultures, a Mr. Mom is not highly regarded as a man. Society doesn't negatively come down on single and widowed dads, but a man who can't provide, is pretty much for most a worthless guy.

Some couples and other countries march to a different drum, and there are always exceptions, but overall many women tend to follow what their circle of women friend think, and once the stares and comments start, the humiliation is not far behind. This is not on the man, but the woman who will almost certainly lose respect for her husband. When that happens, she seeks out a better man. It's instinctive actually.

PositiveNote · Answer

I guess I have a reversal going, although I don't think of it as such... I have known many stay at home dads and I fully recommend it—if that is what you and your mate want. I do not have children at home, but my wife works 50 hours/week away and I am the house husband. I've been this way for over a decade now, and the first 8+ years was fun. I got to make my own schedule, work on projects around the home or for income (I'm a write/artist,) but it's gotten to be a drag now. With Covid and no real social life, it's killing me!

wonderfulstation404 · Answer

I love how most ladies be like
oh yeah men can be just as nurturing as the mothers too and I could earn way better in the workforce than a man too im a strong woman BS.
but once an intruder breaks in the house they're the first to be behind the curtains... being a man/ the bread winner isn't about what you like and leaving the ones you don't like to your partner it's about the work that would workout better any circumstance...

I am man and I'm no way trying to get a wife that's isn't willing to bear my kids...

if you feel like yeah you want to be a modern woman go find a modern man too that would cater kids and the house while you're working in the office and also a man that would hide behind you (woman) in the presence of danger.

GOODLUCK

Anonymous · Answer

For the last 5 years I was the sole breadwinner while she stayed home with the kids. Recently she began working while I stay home - we homeschool the kids.

I wouldn’t say that the actual gender roles have flipped though. I don’t see providing as being a masculine or feminine thing anymore, I never have. I don’t feel “emasculated” by it. The men who do I think are those who lack any other masculine qualities.

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Apple1996 · Answer

Not a good idea especially when kids are involved. A mother should always stay home with the kids to raise them. If there aren't kids involved then it's whatever jobs and chores aren't gender specific so there is no reason to care about who does those.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Honestly I think we need to stop worrying about who makes more money and who's in the kitchen. It's teamwork and if both parties are contributing who cares? Two people need to equal 100% It shouldn't be a contest of is it exactly 50/50. Otherwise do you vacuum half a carpet and tell your spouse to do the other half? No.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

Whatever works. Both my parents worked but my dad was the one who did the cooking, and took care of the plants, and did all the cleaning. Way better than my mom ever could. I think as long as it works and everyone feels like responsibilities have been divided on a way that's manageable, it's fine

Livewire3 · Answer

You do you. Skip role playing and just play to your strengths and be adaptable to your uniqueness. This means he can cook, you can cook, you can cook together. Every chore that needs to be done, will require that you both figure out what works well for you. I recommend laughter, forgiveness, and trying to fill in to make each others day a little easier.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

that was the reality of lockdown for many.

having the traditional wife working from home, is great until you are on furlough / not working due to a pandemic.

i know a lot of husbands who took over home duties while wives / partners worked

wingattebaby16 · Answer

i dont have a problem with it.

As long as the man is still a man, and the woman is still a woman, then who makes the money and who takes care of the home and family, it does not matter to me.

ultimately, as long as the couple is happy, what does it matter?

Anonymous · Answer

Women dont respect , love if the man provide care as women. I did cooking , cleaning , took care of a girl. When she was sick , hungry , tired. In return she ran for a guy who do nothing , just take her to expensive restaurents , have sex in expensive hotels. I cannot afford that much expensive stuff being a student but cooked really good home meal for months. She told me guys like me are good only after thirty. I have seen this line from multiple times in my life. I have learnt my lesson.
My all other guy friends do almost nothing for their girlfriends still they get so much love. I am not doing much shit in future. If I cannot find anyone for that so be it.

faeriicloudss · Answer

It's a great idea, it does not force stereotypes onto people and it does not make you feel bad for not being good at someone you're "supposed to be good at" based on your gender. My boyfriend feels the same way, he loves cooking and he likes cleaning as well. Me other the other hand I can't cook if my life depended on it and I much prefer doing yard work which is supposed to be a "manly" job. I think it's all up to the person, and nothing should be gendered or targeted towards a specific gender like I also love the color pink, ballet, make-up and that should not mean anything even if it's considered to be very feminine.

Coulis · Answer

I don't think a man cleaning, sewing or doing laundry is a reversed gender role. His ass be making messes too so... Also, some dudes are just not handy at all.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Both should be working and splitting the chores. As for the complete reversal in gender roles, in my observations it vastly increases the divorce rate. The wife things the husband is lazy and the husband thinks the wife is emotionally disconnected. One of them always cheats on the other.

To be fair though, I know very few people actually still married regardless of their domestic arrangement.

ChocoBat · Answer

I find gender roles to be extremely limiting in general, it's best to work to ones ability, always, my husband and I switch out, we do pretty much everything together, both of us cook, me more but he does when I'm busy or he has an idea, or we cook together, both of us work and go out, I program, he remodels, it's good stuff.

Hairylegs222 · Answer

My brother has no job, takes care of their kids, cleans their house, and manages their money. His wife is a nurse that works long 12hr night shifts. They're functional that way and I see it as a good thing. Teamwork is important and as long as it works, also everyone is happy, then I don't see why it matters who does which role.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

I’ve lived in one my entire life, in regards to the following:  My mother brings in most of the money My father does all of the cooking

Anonymous · Answer

I think it doesn't matter. It's not endangering anyone's sense of gender. It's not emotional or sexual issue, just certain tasks one do. We can keep our etiquette of fine manners to fit our genders nevertheless, or update it to a degree. But it really in the end of the day "all can be and doesn't have to be".

MCheetah · Answer

@Subarugirl
PM me. I wanted to ask you something.

Regarding the question, I personally dislike it and wouldn't want that lifestyle, but if that's what people want to do, then they can do whatever they want.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

I think couples should do what works for them. I like the IDEA of staying home and taking that role, although I'd probably require a partner who earns enough to finance everything, unlikely to happen.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

They don't work well. Women rapidly lose respect for "stay at home dads". Don't believe me? Do some research. Also, women who have a career with a "stay at home husband" are MUCH more likely to cheat.

Nick473 · Answer

Its a bad idea, woman are nurturers and us men just aren't built that way. We need a good wife to help raise our children. I dont mind being the provider

BCA6010 · Answer

I don't really care, so long as the home is functioning. Issues don't really arise until it comes time to start having kids, and that can still be planned for even though it's objectively more difficult.

Konkonmath · Answer

A man feels complete when he can take care of his family financialy. who will feed the money when girl is pregnant and after birth of child. do u think a guy can take care of a child and give it values. its called maternal instincts. there's no paternal instincts

JoVee · Answer

outdated system of a by-gone era, when women couldn't speak up for themselves or even vote. F That S in the A. Thoughts are, we are a team, we can all do everything, for all else is open to discussion. Communication is always key.

FruitAndBlueEyes · Answer

Honestly, I don’t mind it. In fact, I’d rather be a stay at home dad.

Babygirl_S · Answer

I want the traditional roles. I will get tired of playing the "strong independent woman". I wanted to be a housewife before I realized that men want the career-oriented woman. I am so tired of it already.

abc3643 · Answer

As a society or within an individual couple? It's important that I have an answer to my question before I more completely answer your question.

Anonymous · Answer

I may be old-fashioned but I want to be a stay at home mom/wife and would want my husband to be the one working. Mostly, because my mom works and I miss her like crazy cause we never have time to see each other.

Andres77 · Answer

Just do what needs to be done and don't politicize house work. Completely unnecessary.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Good way to destroy a relationship, but if thats some one's thing more power to them.

hahahmm · Answer

For people who can't get a traditional partner to take them seriously for whatever reason (s).

tropicalbreeze · Answer

A reflection of the times and of changing attitudes in relationships. as well as changing societal expectations. I guess when both are working it helps to share the load of housework.

Anonymous · Answer

Women who act like men are never liked or desired. Men who act like women are never respected.

The-Wise-Phoenix · Answer

Not likely because 98% of women would not go for that kind of relationship scenario.

Julielamar2 · Answer

Everyone does what they want in the relationship as long as both agree. But participating in households is not "reversed the gender roles" for me.

wtf636 · Answer

I think a lot of women pretend they would be happy with this, but the reality is not the same.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I'm anti traditional for the most part but I don't agree with men and women switching gender roles.

FoghornLeghorn99 · Answer

As a male, how can I give birth and be a mother to my children? The point is, there are real "gender roles". Housework is not a "gender role"!!!

Hanrej · Answer

Why not? So long as it works and both are happy with it. My experiance says no one really likes it.

ElizaPam · Answer

I don’t believe in it if anybody is laying around the house all day it’s me

KrisPW · Answer

If it's working for the couple / family, then why should I have ANY opinion on the matter?

Username678 · Answer

Who cares? No such thing as " gender roles" That's just a stupid society construct.

BeachLuvR97 · Answer

That would take a lot of stress off of my shoulders!

Djaay · Answer

NO. Just do what u both gotta do to acquire the home the way u both perceive it to be. Whatever it takes , both just do a part to accomplish\achieve your goal of a home.

Anonymous · Answer

not for me. those type of women might as well be lesbians as far as I am concerned. I would never want to be with one

JennBITx · Answer

I have no concerns with it. If that’s what’s best for the family, then go for it

jamesgoldman · Answer

Given I grew up in an environment that was primarily that way and both of my grandparents houses were much the same by the time I came along

SmokinAces2000 · Answer

I’m not interested in being a house husband because it seems boring that’s why I wouldn’t want my wife to be a housewife

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Nope. I want us to both work and do chores around the house.

crmoore · Answer

I don't find it appealing personally, but people should do what they want.

AydenHazor · Answer

I've no problem with it. I would live to be able to be a stay at home dad, but as a single dad that's not feasible

Ava_Walker · Answer

Well for starters i would rather work and there are so many stereotypes based on men should do this and that switching roles is id say ok but i believe i should be independent and work

Pandupillu · Answer

Nope! No way. I am sort of traditional when it comes to these things. I would want my husband to work and I'll do all the housework

jeffryrobertbabb · Answer

Our gender roles are not reversed, but we share the housework, cooking, etc.

SalvatoreCordileone · Answer

As long as I dont have to wear a dress and give birth to babies

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