How do you feel about traditional gender roles?

[emilym12345]

ie stay at home wife vs a girl with a job.

[Imcmullan]

I'm a mom with a career.. and I've been on the flip. sode where I was a stay at home wife. It's more work staying at home and making sure the house is in order, cleaned, laundry dine, cooking, getting all the bills put on time, running the errands, keeping up with school activities, raising a child to be a good human being then there is going to work. I know this bc I've done it.. and my career is very DEMANDING. I miss being able to cook daily, be the one to keep the house clean the way I want it (perfectly) , going to all the school functions, not missing practices and games. There is more value in family time then there is in making money but unfortunately I need to make money to support my family. I try to split my time but there is nothing like being there for my kid all the time and sharing those family meals every night and being able to make breakfast daily.. I get women wanting a career.. but if I had the choice, it would be my kid.. and if you disagree then maybe parenting isn't for you. Children should have a parent available at all times and there's nothing like a mothers love ❤

[backdoorman]

This is one of the most real answers here. Many people seem to think staying at home, taking care of the home properly and parenting children is an easy job. It's not. It's very demanding.

[Coulis]

Couldn't have said it bwtter myself.

[Ayanna240]

@backdoorman it’s only demanding when the kids are young. The role is a joke once the kids get older. Most stay home moms do nothing most of the time while the kids are at school

[Coulis]

@Ayanna240 actually it gets harder because you have to deal with them getting into drugs, mental breakdowns, rebelliousness. With boys running the streets the wrong crowd or if a fight gets out of hand and your son gets stabbed. So WRONG!

[Ayanna240]

@Coulis even stay home moms can’t stop that kinda stuff. Teenagers can easily lie to parents and they know how to hide stuff.

As kids get older , they really don’t need 24/7 cars. They can even cook for themselves and not want to eat your food. You can’t say your role is hard If you do nothing 70% of the time

[Coulis]

@Ayanna420 yes, you're right. We do nothing.

[Ayanna240]

@Coulis No disrespect to stay home moms who are actually busy. If you really need to stay home , then stay home to care for the family.

But if you do absolutely nothing over half the time , I wouldn’t give any respect to you. Because there are tons of parents out there who work their butts off to raise their kids

Both my parents worked full time and Still managed to raise me into successful college educated adult.

[Coulis]

@Ayanna240 ok so it went form all of us do nothing 70٪ of the time to you repect the ones who are actually busy. Anyhoo. I'm out.

[Ayanna240]

@Coulis i have said stay home moms only are busy when kids are young. The role becomes a joke when the kids get older. You just chose to ignore rhat

[Coulis]

@Ayanna240 i actually directly answered it explaining that the difficulties shift to more complex emotional issues. But ok. You're right. I ignored it.

[Ayanna240]

@Coulis being a stay home mom really won’t prevent any of those things from happening. When your kids get older , they develop secrets they don’t tell their parents. You can’t stop your kids from doing drugs just cus you stay at home. You can’t save your kids bullying just cus you stayed at home.

The older your kids are , the less they will stay home with you. At the end of the day, you’re just gonna be alone in an empty house 10 hours a day

[Ayanna240]

@coulis you like to think of yourself as a psychologist or therapist, you’re really not. Your kids will only see you as someone trying to control their lives. Trust me, I have been in a teenagers shoes.

[Coulis]

@Ayanna240 yes, you're right.

[backdoorman]

@Ayanna240 You don't know what you're talking about because you haven't actually done it or seen it done properly. You are assuming a stay-at-home mom will choose to put in the minimum effort. Some do, but most don't and many take full advantage of their circumstances to do as much as they can to serve their family and maximize their quality of life.

A mother who devoted herself to taking care of her children and home properly is a very busy woman. And the standards to which she holds the work she does are higher than a mom who sits around and does nothing. The house is nicer, the children are cared for better. They know they are loved and cherished and are the center of their mother's universe, something many kids do not know. They eat better and healthier food. They get to spend more quality time with both of their parents because mom has done the chores while they are in school and dad is at work, so the evenings and weekends can be about quality together time rather than running errands and doing chores. They are ultimately more likely to grow into happy, healthy, well adjusted adults who will be proper parents to their own children because they had a good example.

A stay at home mom is the most important job in the world, and one of the most demanding. It's sad that some people who don't know what they are talking about choose to belittle these women and minimize the service they do for their families and society.

[Ayanna240]

@backdoorman

A 100 years ago, stay home mom was a full time job. You had to make your butter by hand. You had to make your ice cream by hand. You had to sew the entire family's clothes by hand. You had to wash the entire family's clothes by hand. You had to dry the family's clothes by hand. You had to make all the bread by hand. You had to pump buckets of water from the well half a mile a way so that you could clean the house. You had to plant vegetables in your home garden.

Now, you have dishwasher to wash your dishes. You have washing machine to wash all your clothes. You have dryer to dry all your clothes. You buy all the clothes from the store. You have vacuums to clean your house. You buy your ice cream, bread and butter all from the store. You no longer bake your birthday cakes, you buy birthday cakes from the store.

Stay home moms spend 70% of the time at home doing nothing while all the kids are at school. Even when they get off from school, they usually hangout with friends or go for extra curricular activities which is another 2-3 hours that they aren't home. Kids spent most of the day outside the house, especially as they get older.

My hard working parents cooked, cleaned, and still managed to tutor their kids on homework every night when I was young. On weekends, they taught me how to ride a bike, taught me how to cook, kept on eye on me to make sure I did well on my studies. I grew up to be a college educated, successful adult.

I grew up seeing people taking the job of parenting very seriously working 12-16 hour days, devoting every minute of their waking moment to raising their kids, not someone who does nothing 8 hours a day while the kids are away at school. Laziness or idleness just does not get any respect from me.

[Ayanna240]

@backdoorman I definitely know what I am talking about. I think you don't know what your'e talking about. Stay home mom is only a full time job when the kids are young. The role becomes a straight up joke when the kids are older. why? because kids really do not need 24/7 care when they get older.
so you end up with a woman who does nothing around the house all day while the kids are at school.

its not hard to cook 3 meals a day, its not hard to put clothes in the washing machine. its not hard to go to the supermarket twice a week. It really doesn't count as a full time job. Everyone else is busy fulfilling their obligations. Your husband is slaving full time at his job. Your kids spend the entire day at school then rush home to complete their homework for the rest of the night.

You're the only one who is busy most of the day and you're likely to be watching tv while you fold your laundry or going outside to eat some donuts while you are at the supermarket shopping for groceries.

[Ayanna240]

@backdoorman

typo:

You're the only one who ISN'T*** busy most of the day and you're likely to be watching tv while you fold your laundry or going outside to eat some donuts while you are at the supermarket shopping for groceries.

[DWornock]

@Ayanna240 It is good that as the children get older, mother have more time. That is, more time to home school their children where they get an outstanding education instead of the indoctrination they receive in public and and the one size fits all limited to the abilities of the most mentally challenged children. And, where they get complete socialization with all age groups instead of very restricted socialization limited to only other children their age.

[Coulis]

@DWornock exactly. So while she thinks we do nothing, we're doing curriculum planning. Helping them start educational paths for their desored careers. Guiding them through the rough transition from childhood to adulthood. The load is less in terms of cleaning if you've raised them right and they do their chores but the emotional load is heavier. The duties get more complicated. I find the emotional and mental support more heavy than the cleaning and cooking bit which actually gets insane with teenagers. They eat soooo much. LOL. No sense in arguing about it.

[Ayanna240]

@DWornock

[It is good that as the children get older, mother have more time. That is, more time to home school their children where they get an outstanding education instead of the indoctrination they receive in public and and the one size fits all limited to the abilities of the most mentally challenged children. ]

Educated women are almost never housewives. No woman is gonna pull out loans, work her ass off for years to build her career, make amazing money, then throw everything away just becasue she had a kid.

Housewives usually tend to be uneducated, married very young and have no means to survive on her own. She can't teach her children because housewives do not tend to be college educated. Most housewives do not even tutor their kids. This is what the reality is like.

[Ayanna240]

@Coulis

Most stay home wives do not homeschool their kids. Overwhelming majority of housewives are women who married very young, uneducated and never held careers nor attended college. No smart woman who pulled out loans for college, worked her ass off for years , make amazing money, will throw everything away just because she had a kid. Even if she does stay home , it will just be for a couple of years while the kids are super young. As the kids grow older, she will usually return back to work.

Its not hard to make 3 meals a day, go shopping twice a week, clean the house once or twice a month. Teenagers aren't even at home most of the day and they usually do not even want to talk to you. Teenagers want their own independence.

You're imagining that all teenagers and kids tell their parents everything , all their secrets, let parents guide them. This is the furthest from the truth. Teenagers do not tell their parents most things that goes on in their lives. They are not gonna tell you about having sex, how they feel about their boyfriends, what mean things some girls at school said to them. This type of stuff is what they tell their best friends. You are not their best friend.

Many parents see themselves as trying to guide their kids but in reality, they just see it as you trying to control them.

[Ayanna240]

@DWornock And what the reality is, most grown up adults cannot even tutor their kids above the elementary school level. Especially if the parent wasn't a high achieving student nor college educated person.

My parents tutored me on homework almost every day , after we ate dinner and took our showers. What makes you think a parent needs to stay home all day , just to tutor their kids?
Kids are at school all day, not with their moms all day

[Imcmullan]

@Ayanna240, im gonna assume you aren't a parent.. bc clearly you know nothing about it. When the kids are at school (or when they become older) you still have to cook, clean, go to grocery store, run errands, make sure bills get paid out, volunteer at the school, take them to practice, games, dropping them off to friends.. etc... and then make dinner by 5... oh and emotional support... darling , you're kidding yourself if you think it's easier to parent older kids... I WISH someone told me that the easy part is when their young. My daughter is a preteen and the things that adolescents and teenagers go through are tough and having the love and support of a parent is PARAMOUNT. I stayed home when I became pregnant.. didn't go back to. work till she was 2yo.. then stayed home from 7-11... now that she's 12, she needs me more.

[Ayanna240]

@Imcmullan

I grew up in a neighborhood with a lot of housewives. I also watch a lot of housewife vlogs on YouTube. One of the top complaints about a housewife is the boredom and “having very little to do” while the kids are away at school. If you watch the housewife vlogs, you would see the exact same things. My mom is currently 60 years old, retired, have kids in college that she still cooks and cleans for. She spends 75% of her time watching tv or being so bored that she’s looking for unnecessary things to clean around the house.

You don’t have to exaggerate your tasks in order to seem busy. What makes you think people don’t know what the life of a housewife is like?

You’re only busy when your kids are young such as under the age of 12.

[Ayanna240]

@Imcmullan
There’s a difference between what you want to do vs what actually happens in reality. I’ve been a teenager , I know how teens operate. We spend a huge majority of the time at school and outside the house , not cuddling with you, ok?

reality is , Most mothers do not provide much emotional support to their kids. Most parents yell, nag or scold, and try to control their kids rather than to seek to understand them. most kids do not tell their parents their deepest secrets. Rather such topics are reserved for Their best friends. Teens don’t want to hear your nagging. We spend a large portion of our time at home trying to block out your nagging. Teen years are when our Hormones , emotions and tempers tend to go out of control. Yet there’s nothing you can do about it but to deal with it. Do you really think you’re a therapist who can solve everything just by some cuddling?

What you do on a daily basis can be easily accomplished by a working mom who knows how to budget her time.

[Ayanna240]

@Imcmullan

All these moms on here trying to act as if they are some sort of healer or therapist or super mom or you think you hold the chamber to all your child’s deepest darkest secrets. This is what you want to believe , it’s not actually what is true.

Sure your kids tell you everything when he’s 7 years old but the same cannot he said When he’s 15.
You have no idea how many mothers out there are unqualified to be mothers. All moms think they are perfect but It’s honestly rare to encounter a mother who actually knows how to do her job well

[Imcmullan]

@Ayanna240 lol 😆 😂 🤣 😅 all I can do is laugh.. you watch a vlog so now you're an expert? Lol ok... you're ignorance is hilarious to me.. who fooled you into thinking you know so much? Lol I've been a stay at home mom who did plenty.. and now I work.. but say what you will.. you still have mill behind your ears... clearly you are jaded. Im sorry your relationship with your mom wasn't close and that you don't think there is value in being a stay at home mom... you're entitled to your opinion 👌🏾 🙂

[Ayanna240]

@Imcmullan

Sure my dad has little to nothing to do at home either. He takes 6 hours a day to cook 3 meals , wash dishes. He takes 6 hours cus he knows he has all the time in the day to get things done so he works as slow as a sloth. When you give someone too much time to get things done , they take it wayy too easy so they work as slowly as possible.

Meanwhile everyone else don’t have enough time in a day to get things done.

[Ayanna240]

@Imcmullan

A 100 years ago, stay home mom was a full time job. You had to make your butter by hand. You had to make your ice cream by hand. You had to sew the entire family's clothes by hand. You had to wash the entire family's clothes by hand. You had to dry the family's clothes by hand. You had to make all the bread by hand. You had to pump buckets of water from the well half a mile a way so that you could clean the house. You had to plant vegetables in your home garden.

Now, you have dishwasher to wash your dishes. You have washing machine to wash all your clothes. You have dryer to dry all your clothes. You buy all the clothes from the store. You have vacuums to clean your house. You buy your ice cream, bread and butter all from the store. You no longer bake your birthday cakes, you buy birthday cakes from the store.

[Citizenkirk]

In a world where the American middle class still exist, single mom's were never the product of unsupportive, 💩🧠💫 parenting orientation (teenage girls getting kicked out by the ten's of thousands in the 70' for getting knocked up during a time when birth control and abortions were restricted or outlawed in many states across America-Citizenkirk's generation😝😭) and social steriotypes were not based entirely on fantasies of what people iether want life to be like in a nuclear-non nuclear (closed knit family relationships and values , with all relatives living together or in the same vicinity of the same local community-🐂💩 propaganda campaign for media manipulation purposes🖕) or what people pretend too be based on fear of the moronic majority conventions rule (BE AS STUPID AS ME, OR PRETEND TOO BE, BECAUSE WE ARE MANY, AND YOU ARE FEW, YOU FREE THINKING ENEMIES OF SOCIAL CONVENTION REPRESSORS, AND THIER SPINELESS, COWARDLY SLAVES OF "DO AS I SAY AND PRETEND TOO DO, NOT WHAT I ACTUALLY DO BEHIND CLOSED DOORS 🖕🖕) rendering all traditional values accepted by social convention, 100% USDA GRADE PROPAGANDA

No artificial colors fillers, or socially relevant information that can be validated as responsible truth in advertising

This guy fell for traditional values, and when his wife wasn't 100% faithful, he went 95% ballistic, leaving his loser buddy too pick up the 5% slack of marital relationship insanity induced convention. Traditional values, really should come with a consumer warning label (⚠️🌡️Temper hazards-🐗)☣️🏷️🖕😉

[NathanDavis]

I just don't see them as "traditional roles" because about 90% of the people I know... my family, relatives, in my own relationships, friends, acquaintances, neighbors... at school, work, long etcétera... I just don't see this "tradition" to be the norm nor the rule.

Most people do as they do because they have to, need to or decide to do it either way they see it fit for them... and for those who actually fit the lifestyle and concepts of "traditional roles" it was their choice rather than an imposition or "you have to because it's the tradition and the way to go"

And with that being said, I don't mind it when people decide for themselves to have such a lifestyle, if that's what they want and they can afford it, then I see nothing wrong with it, whatever makes them happy is fine with me. I don't expect my partners to follow traditional roles, but if that's something they really wanted and needed and made them happy I would just go with some of that, for example... if I end up married and with children, I will try everything that's possible for either of us or both... to stay at home as much as possible while the kids are young, because I think that would be closer to ideal
but today I am single... lol. And I'm not fixated on a strict idea of how things have to be, time will tell and then we'll see.

[not_a_twinkie]

I feel like people can live their lives however they choose.
If she wants to be a housewife and he wants to work, sure.
If she wants to work and he wants to be a househusband, right on.
If they both want to work and share household duties, cool.
Personally I think the nuclear family model is a sham, it just isn't feasible for low to middle class workers in this economy. I would rather live with a group of people in a "village" type model where everyone pitches in equally however they can.

[Qdbrown]

This idea sounds great, choose the life you want to live. However there are a number of people who decide to change after choosing one way, to another way, and to another way. It's great to have that ability except there are consequences with making changes, especially not realized while younger what kind of errors a person can make in their choosing early on. And all the while as they age out of life. Everyone comes with a expiration date, and you only get to have so much. All the back and fourth is costly.

[not_a_twinkie]

I have to admit your comment confuses me a bit, I don't really know what consequences or errors you mean

[Qdbrown]

It the idea that everything effects everything. If you consciously choose a direction, like becoming a career person, you spend time investing in yourself. You do the time at the company.

Then you realize that job great, but you would rather be a mom. Either purposely or accidentally, you want to be a mom. And you become a mom. That will cut into your career time. Babies need all your time. You chunk them into daycare and get back to it, but most new moms realize after the fact that family is more important until say school age, as family and kids are. So career stops effectively negating all the early experience. It's really hard to pick up later on. And many don't even ever go back until years later, and they never really get back but start over.

The hardest decision many women will make is it better to get the kids done early, and transition into something larger later where they can launch a solid career?

And this is not just for moms. I know a lot of guys who go into college for their parent's expectation into one field, to wake up later and realize they hate it. So they spend around $50k, and four years just to get enough to get a job they hate, to start over again. So they go a different direction later. And it's not bad, but they are losing time when we could have started a family and got married. Now all of that is pushed out.

[Qdbrown]

Now what you're talking about is coliving where say a small group comes together and acts like a small community. That way everyone has someone to fall back on. You have tradesmen, and doctors living in your circle. You have teachers and managers. A small group that looks after everyone. Sounds great until the first real conflict comes up. There is pros and cons with it. Typically someone shags someone they should not have and the drama begins...

So many people can come up with these complex ways to live, as they did in the past. But whatever you choose, the real issue is what do you really, really want? Are you more concerned about security, before you can achieve what you want, so you focus more on that, than what is more important? That's what I am getting at.

[not_a_twinkie]

Thank you for clarifying.
To respond I would first like to clear up what I meant about living as a group, not the standard village as you described but as a small group of people living in a house together, be it as friends or preferably partners (as I'm open to polyamory and open relationships). I am of the strong belief that family is what you make it, and I adore the idea of living with a family of bonds not blood.
As for direction, while I do admit that the future is unpredictable I have largely made up my mind that I don't want kids in my 20s and I want to adopt. I see no reason why a life has to be either or when there are so many people able to balance a career and family life, my own mother for one, but in the case of demanding careers that just leads back to wanting that large household of people able to care for the child should the need arise. Effort is required but balance is possible.

[Qdbrown]

I don't want to stomp on your ideas, poly is not a long-term solution. Human nature is to get selfish at somepoint. If not you, someone else in the group will. The drama will come up at somepoint.

Right now you are probably aspirational enough to work through it, but the issue is the more people, the more complex it inheritantly becomes. And hence a more expensive lesson to learn about, later, after many years go by.

And you're probably saying to yourself, what do I know? Well, I am no expert. I have read some books on it. I have been in an open relationship, and I lived in a commune system while at University. I do miss the large group of friends that were my family for two years. I loved having different girls in our group to go shopping and the movies together, but during commune time, we didn't share partners. That was later.

The commune without open sex was my best time. Any conflict was small and easy to get over. But people's lives in the group changed. We had a goodbye party that was bittersweet, but I can see that life is very fluid and change is always happening. Being more nimble is better.

As for open relationships, they are exciting starting out, but it will be the guys who come up short, and jealousy kicks in at somepoint. It might take a few months or years, but the experience is not equal and there will be cracks created from the relationship.

This is where you really should keep it simple. But if someone can tell you, and not have to experience it, not many humans would make so many mistakes by this point. As it stands, a person has to try for themselves.

[TruthBringer]

I'm very pro gender role as I've been raised in a traditional way and both my parents have always been happy (and wouldn't have it any other way). I as a man have accepted my gender role wholeheartedly (being the main provider, being the leader, taking off as much weight off of my partner's shoulders, being the protector, doing stuff that are associated as 'manly' like fixing the car and much more). So it is only natural that I want a woman who embraces her gender roles aswel. Not someone who wants to have their cake and eat it too.

As a heterosexual man, I've witnessed too many times that there are women out there who want the benefits of being "modern", but feel entitled to a traditional man. So these women have a whole list of requirements of what a man should do how he should look like, but they refuse to cook or even turn on the vacuum cleaner. And yes, there are men who are also like that, but currently, I'm going to speak for myself.

Also, last time I checked, according to research, the couples who are more 'traditional' tend to lead the happiest relationships.

When it comes to my own relationship: My girl is very free to work or stay at home. She herself wants to work since she loves her profession and stay at home for a little while whenever we happen to have kids in the future.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

Traditional roles worked in a world where a man could be a janitor, milkman, cook, or road worker - and made enough money to be considered in the middle class. Maybe it was the lower middle, but he could have a basic house, car, kids, family vacation, and a home-maker wife whose job was focused around household management and child management.

For what it's worth, it was a good arrangement, with the exception that women got shit on a lot, but I think that was the exception more than the rule. Many housewives from that era seemed quite happy with their lives.

Since the late 1960's to early 1970's, when inflation and stagnant wages forced women to go to work, everything changed. Not much of it for the better. And did anyone notice that the rich have just been getting richer since then? And that the middle has been losing ground and the poor have gotten poorer?

I'm middle class, but carry 2 full time jobs, my wife has a full time job, and all we do is work, and work around each others schedules.. just to afford a lower middle-class house next to the dodgy part of town.

Class war is pretty much over, the fascists won.

[MCheetah]

They serve a purpose and have worked for thousands of years for a reason. If people don't want to follow them, I don't think they have to and I'm fine with them not doing so. I just take issue with the people too stupid to realize WHY gender roles serve the purposes they do, to begin with. It's not all as simple as "patriarchy."

Me personally, I'd prefer a woman who works and has her own career goals and ambitions in mind, but is willing to put her kids first, when the time comes (not that I really want kids or anything).

[Inbox]

@mcheetah That and it's for the children: screwing with their sense of identity will possibly cause a lot of confusion and depression in the future.

[ChrisMaster69]

Girl with a job,

why have someone that’s not contributing financially.

I would sooner have $300,000 coming in than $150,000

Its felt even more at lower salaries.

this is then reflected in the house you can afford, the amount of spare cash you have, how easy it is to provide for child’s welfare and schooling.

then there is the entire, being stuck at home, limited friends, a brain that is stagnating, not being allowed to develop more as a person, not allowed to achieve their own goals and achievements.

there is also the entire job security side of things, a guy in later life may want to change jobs to something less physical but also may not pay as well.

a job basically for her mental health, her goals and ambitions. Coupled with financial security with increased spending money, ability to have better things in life.

[NamerOfStars]

They grew out of the roles we evolved to play, and our modern lifestyles haven't changed our genetics. It's needlessly restrictive to insist people live by them, but it's needlessly restrictive AND needlessly stupid to insist that they don't. Little Bobby wants to be a stay-at-home-dad and part-time pastry chef? Cool with me. Little Susie wants to be an astronaut? Awesome. But expecting all, or even most, women to be content with the struggles and sacrifices and long hours required to land and hold the high-paying jobs, or most men to accept lower-level ones with less by way of demand AND reward, is asking for disappointment.

Most people, left to their own devices, would follow traditional gender roles- to a degree. What degree that is would vary, both from person to person and from time to time. View the roles as descriptive, rather than proscriptive, and you should be okay.

[ohshee]

Okay Emily let's play pretend so let's pretend you and I are married I married you because your beautiful your kind you have a beautiful heart you're smart you're intelligent your outgoing and you're happy. I make enough money to make a house payment to take care of things the bills so I would say if you want to stay home stay home I would say if you want to go to work go to work it's up to you to me it has nothing to do with gender it has to do with who you are who you want to be for me it's what would make you happy I would think getting out fresh air working making money talking with people would be the way I would go I would totally leave it up to you and if you didn't want to go to work that would be fine but then I would say but you better find a babysitting job because you're paying for this year's vacation LOL

[RealMarek]

If a couple are able and would like to have the woman stay at home, fine. That said, it can be difficult to make it work financially these days and a lot of women who are traditional in general work because it is necessary. Also, if the marriage ends in divorce the man can face child support and alimony bills that can leave little left for him to live on. I would recommend any man with potential to earn a lot of income insist on a prenuptial agreement that both parties can live with before marrying a woman who will stay at home.

[Anonymous]

women need jobs too... just because you're a mom doesn't mean you should stay home and watch your children. if they're a newborn, sure. but after that, you need to help out and make money also. things aren't cheap nowadays and usually families can't survive on one income. and even if they could, it doesn't hurt to have extra income. women aren't only good for raising children. you should have other things you want to accomplish too. no backup plan, no retirement fund, less of a college fund for your children... now that's just stupid.

[AlexanderAnttila]

There for a reason, namely historical and biological reasons. It's not to say that gender roles should be unreasonably rigid, but to a great extent they exist because they have been part of a system that has worked for over a thousand years.

From a Christian standpoint the man is to be the leader of the household, of course the woman can have a job, a career, but the man is the provider and head of the family. In turn, the man is responsible to Christ who is his head, so the man being the leader has never been a license to tyranny or abuse. I believe all women should embrace the home-maker in them, and all men the protector and provider in them. From that basic starting point there's nothing that says that a woman can't also have dreams and ambitions and that a man can't have chores at home etc.

[Cuteusernamehere]

I have been both. I’m well educated, have a lot of experience and can easily obtain a good job if need be (making more then my hubby actually).
I prefer to stay home and raise our kids. I still did most of the domestic work while also working full time because I want to do those things for my family.
He prefers I stay home too. He knew enough though when times were tough, my income would help and we decided I should work for a while. I also love my job when I do work.
Ultimately he has the final say because I gave him that choice to make for us as a family and I trust his decisions.

[backdoorman]

You are the model of a perfect woman in the eyes of most high value men.

[Sam_The_Savage]

😂😂

[proNutro]

Personally I like them but to an extent. I love cooking and cleaning, having a man open the door for me and get me flowers, wants to meet my parents and so on.
I do not like it when a person tells me to cook or tells me to clean. I’m no ones maid.
I’d love for my some day husband so cook with me (even if he has to ask what he has to do or even if he knows how to cook) and help with cleaning because we both live in the house.
The man should also help with the children, cleaning, feeding them and playtime.
Otherwise as long as he doesn’t treat me like a maid/slave/waitress like I’ll be at his beck and call, I’ll be very happy to get all those things done.

[hahahmm]

That if you want the benefits men have had, you need to share the responsibilities like taking out a massive life insurance policy on yourself that benefits your spouse.. and if a violent criminal breaks into the home you nee do be a human shield and take the bullet. It annoys me when women go on and on about what they want but say very little about what they're willing to give. Instead they often expect men to be traditional whenever that benefits her & for him to pick up the slack on all the traditional stuff she thinks are beneath her.

[Seinna]

I don't mind but...

... in my experience, guys always wanted me to cook and clean while still working.

As in, it's a traditional thing for women to cook and clean but we both worked full time and it's not like they could fix anything at home. They'd take the rubbish out or do bbq once in a while.

So while on paper gender roles don't bother me because I can do all those things that women traditionally do, I'm suspicious when I hear about it because in my experience, all it entails is more work for me and less for them. And any suggestion of being a stay at home mom resulted in treating me like a lazy free loader lol

[sawno]

I think in an idea situation you can get by with one of the two working and the other taking care of the family and making some side money at most. That is what i want in the future with my family and the girl i am dating is luckily on the same page. She has ambitions of course, but the goal is to have me be the primary earner so she can do some side stuff she enjoys doing on the side rather than waging away at a boring job.

So i am extremely pro gender roles, this is how it is meant to be so you gain maximum control over what your children are being exposed to and nobody is trying to convert them to malicious causes behind your back. But at the same time i think you can be very liberal with who fulfills which role. Both parents could work part time or the guy can be the stay at home dad if that works better for the couple.

But for most people traditional gender roles will produce the best results, and they have proven the tests of time.

[harmseygracelu]

To an extent, I kinda like the idea of more traditional roles. But I would still want a job because otherwise you’d make no money and if your husband leaves you, you’re stuffed. So I want to have a breeding kennel so I can still do more homely things for my kids and my husband, but I can still contribute and have something for myself. I actually have a puppy at the moment that I’m going to breed.

[Anonymous]

I'm okay with it. Me and my husband are planning on having kids and when that happens I plan to be a stay at home taking care of the kids while he works. it works in those cases. Daycare is super expensive and I honestly would have a hard time with other people watching my kids so we decided to go with that route. As for a stay at home wife- I think that is also fine as long as the wife is basically taking care of the household and doing those traditional roles. Because that is what's agreed upon. I think people can choose what is best for their situation. I know some women are the type to work all the time and so they do. It just depends.

[Anonymous]

I guess mostly I am wondering why your focus is on women?

Women haven't suffered at all with the changes in society, they can do whatever they want, men have been completely disenfranchised anbd no longer have any clear place or role in the modern world.

So do whatever you want, though sadly that apparently means whining even though you are holding the long end of the stick.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

I think with kids in the picture it's probably more sustainable and healthier than both partners working full time. But if I meet a girl and fall in love, and I know from the start she's a career climber / non-traditionalist, then I'd take that into account in planning our lives together.

[humpbackjack]

Now a days most couples are both working for me I busted my ass to support my family and my wife held it down at home. We felt it was important for one of us to be home with our kids and since I was able to make more money she stayed home plus she wanted to. Actually our plan was for her to go to school while our kids were at school and I worked 2 jobs and went to school but I would of been fine taking care of the kids and going to school if she was able to support the family

[abdullahaasim]

I feel that whether it is a girl or a boy, he or she shouldn't have to go to a job. On the other hand, no matter what, a man will never be more capable than a woman to take care of the kids. The girl also can not face the routine of men because each task is extremely humiliating and exhausting i. E Going to get your car repaired at a mechanic every other day, doing these tasks himself, staying up to date with the community's men for exposure.
The world outside does not accept a woman and the world at home does not accept a man. You can take part in the opposite gender's activities, but not change your role completely. In the end, you'll do more damage for your own wishes.

[SpiderManFan2002]

I think traditional roles can be cool, if both people are happy with it. But one thing I just want to add, that I dislike how people think women can’t have it all, like she can’t have a job, be a housewife, and a good mother all at the same time. Because I know women who are all three of those things, so it certainly is not impossible.

[TruthBringer]

Exactly! It is definitely possible. My mother is a good example and so are many others out there. Often those who claim that women can't be all of that are feminists trying to cope with their inability to be them all.

[SpiderManFan2002]

Yeah exactly! My auntie is a great example too, she has a business, she cooks, cleans, looks after the house, and has had 4 kids! Honestly it’s so irritating that people only reduce women to one role.

[TruthBringer]

Finally a pink user who gets it! What I find ironic is that the people who reduce women to one role happen to be the very same people who claim "women are strong" and that "women are independent!"

[SpiderManFan2002]

@TruthBringer To be fair, I’ve seen many women who also do understand that women can indeed have it all. In my experience, it’s been men who tell me “you can’t have it all” “but it’s too hard” but I do understand where you’re coming from because I have seen a number of feminists act like being a mother is the worst thing a woman can do. All very silly in my opinion.

[DarkWinterNights]

In my biased opinion, being a mother is probably the most important job in the world. It has meaning and purpose. I’ve spent 10 years at my job and a few months after I leave I’ll be replaced and forgotten. I make good money but all this is is a means to an end for me.

[SpiderManFan2002]

@DarkWinterNights That’s very true. Without mothers the world would come to an end. Employees can be easily replaced, but not mothers.

[TruthBringer]

@DarkWinterNights I agree 100%

[007kingifrit]

no. nobody can have it all. there must be consequences you aren't seeing because you're 18

[SpiderManFan2002]

@007kingifrit Lol so you’re telling me a man can’t be a father, a husband and have his own career?

For the record I’ve seen many women “have it all” and they’re thriving, just because *you* can’t have it all doesn’t mean others can’t.

[007kingifrit]

a man can have those 3 things but a woman can't. they overlap too much for a woman

think you see what you want to see

[SpiderManFan2002]

Eh, no they don’t. My mum is a working woman, who is also a housewife and a mother and she’s doing great.

I see what I see, strong women who clearly disprove the arguments of weak fragile men such as yourself😅

[kyleelyn199723]

I think traditional gender roles are unrealistic in this day and age and I feel like in the end, women that try to do so are a burden to their husbands these days. A man typically has to be quite successful for that life to not be stressful as cost of living is through the roof

[emilym12345]

Yeah not every girl has to become a doctor but they should at least try to do something.

[kyleelyn199723]

Agreed 100% . My boyfriend is going to be a successful business owner and I’m studying in dietetics and will become a dietitian. If goes as planned, I won’t even need my degree, but I feel like every single person on this earth needs a back up plan to how their life is currently going. You never ever know. It’s just super risky not developing a skill or degree in this day and age. Money is the number one reason for divorce in this day and age so if you aren’t contributing, you are a burden

[emilym12345]

Nice! Good luck on your career path! But in all actuality I do wonder what these stay at home moms think of me? Do they think I’m crazy and just trying to be a man?

[kyleelyn199723]

I had a stay at home troll on here try to harass me last week lol she admitted her only life skill was cleaning bathrooms 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m sure not all of them are like that, but I gained a sense of how blessed I am of what I bring to the table for my age

[emilym12345]

Yeah that’s true! Good for you! I had a good friend who was salutatorian of her high school that I met when I was 19 she just gave up though. We were friend for four years. Haven’t seen her in two. She was very pretty she just took her looks for granted and thought that would get her everywhere and it did not.

[kyleelyn199723]

Many girls are doing that these days! It’s very very sad. They use Instagram as a money source but don’t understand Instagram is not a sustainable source of income. Looks always decline and so do make desires as you age.

[kyleelyn199723]

Does male **

[emilym12345]

And a lot of these times these types of females get jealous when they gave not tried as hard as you or even really tried at all... I could see if they tried very hard and failed but some just like to get ugly.

[kyleelyn199723]

Many get defensive when you tell them money is the root argument of divorce and stay at home moms are a burden unless their husband is successful.

[emilym12345]

True. Plus they have no real goals.

[kyleelyn199723]

That’s exactly why men have to take loads out of their pockets during a divorce and marriage isn’t even worth it these days. Many women rely on a man’s money way too much. If you watch dr Phil there’s lots of episodes where those stay at home moms have no direction once they end up in divorce

[lovedejj_xo]

I want to have enough money to honestly hire people to take care of the house if I even decide to bother with someone because the men where I am 😕😕😕. With my career and me headed into private practice it’s very common to hit 6 figures. I’d really want someone that understands I do enjoy working and making my own schedule but I enjoy cooking and stuff as well but if I’m tired I’d hope you’d take over……

[ToastyOats]

Since men invented electricity, running water, central heat and air, washing machines and dryers. Women need at least... A part time job.
I wish I could find a woman to tend some chickens and an Orchard and garden. Thats is almost all they could do of value at home anymore.
I EFFORTLESSLY! Do all my cooking, cleaning and shopping by myself AND... Work 40+ hours. Stay at home woman sounds like a mooch to me!
Hard Addendum: Unless she's raising my three young children of course!

[Slartybartfast]

Women can choose, even take the best of both.

Men are still stuck with the same choices.

Work, conscription or prison.

We haven't even started the discussion that would lead to the same liberation for men that women have achieved (in the west, I can't speak for cultures I have no experience with like Asia , Africa etc)

[not_a_twinkie]

There is nothing saying you can't be a stay at home husband, the only limit to your choices is what you believe them to be

[Slartybartfast]

@not_a_twinkie Nothing saying I can't play NBA , own and island and fly to Mars.

It's just completely unrealistic and a waste of time to even try. If I could be a single dad I would.

[lilyanony1]

I Need my independance because life has taught me not to rely on anyone including family.
It doesn't matter how much I go out of my way to do the best for my mum then she still finds it a burden to help me and let's me know that it's a burden even when she is helping.
So not having a job would make me beholden to all the wickedness man kind can offer

[DiscipheredDreemurr]

I personally have a traditional view with a modern twist. I believe that when being in a relationship you should discuss what you want in it and how you want it to work if you are going all the way!
For me I'd love an old fashioned woman that would make meals and clean and do all the stereotypical stuff but if she wants to work and get out there I'm not gonna argue with that. If we had kids it could be brought back up whether or not they stay home or continue to work. I believe it depends on the needs and desires of both parties to find the best solution for the current position they are in :)

[DonkeyDan]

Don't really have an opinion on this, it's each person's choice. My ex was a career girl, I have friends that are housewives, all of whom were happy with their roles. As long as the person is happy and fulfilled by their role on life then it doesn't matter.

[Twilight_Angel]

I'm willing to do either but in all honesty prefer traditional gender roles. I'll be more than happy to look after the kids, clean the house and cook for whomever I marry. Although unfortunately we live in times where it's not as affordable for only one parent to work and the other not to so it probably wouldn't work that way.

[xHoneyxBeex]

I don't mind traditional gender roles if that's what an individual wants for their life but I don't feel like anyone should be forced into it. I could never be a stay-at-home wife/mother. I enjoy getting out of my house every day and I would feel so bored if I didn't have a job to do. In today's economy, a two-income household is necessary, in my opinion, as well. I'm getting married in December and my fiancé and I both plan to work to contribute to our livelihood.

[Interstate]

They are all crucial roles. "Stay at home Wife" is looking out for the child (ren) and keeping the house while the Husband works, and "Girl with a job" is taking care of herself by making a living so she can survive. But nowadays you have teens having irresponsible sex and getting pregnant, so the "Girl with a job'' becomes the same (in a sense) as "Stay at home Wife". In all three scenarios, she is working.

[Protein_mate]

I think it's rather old fashioned I think for me personally on my relationship everything should be 50/50 - looking after kids, financial support, cleaning, cooking etc

Having said that, if a woman wants tonbe a stay at home wife or a man wants to be the breadwinner or vice versa then byball means their decision not any of ours and none of my business

[TravisOfOregon]

Housewife, househusband, house spouse, double-income-household, it doesn't matter. So long as the pair is financially comfortable, who cares?

I personally like people that have a feminine appearance, but I don't understand why some guys seem to want a mom they can put their dick in. I'm an adult, I can cook and clean for myself. I shouldn't expect my wife/girlfriend to clean up after me like I'm a toddler!

[Blackcupcake]

Both are cool, everyone should do whatever they’re comfortable with but for me personally I could never be a stay at home wife... unless I have a baby. Then I’d stay until my baby grows up enough to go to kindergarten and then I’m back to work.

[Gomezaddam51]

If that is what both parties want then it is fine by me. Now if the wife stays home and does nothing as far as housework then that is not fine. I went through this in my first marriage. She stayed at home and was supposed to take care of the house while I worked. All she did all day was lay on the couch and when I got home I would have to do everything. I divorced her.

[Anonymous]

I'm fine with them. I work and can support a family. If the girl want's to work that's cool, but if she wants to stay home and raise kids that's cool too. What she does or doesn't want to accomplish professionally is really of pretty low importance to me.

[Jlegacy]

I think to each his own but I don't see anything special in a woman who isna stay at home wife as long as you have trustworthy people who can raise the kids when you are not around. I work. My wife works too. This is one other thing that makes loving her rock.

[hellacray]

Either way I'm ok with them.

Stay at home dad I'm ok with that too.

What I'm not ok with is people just expecting too much. Like a career woman that expects a man to make more money than her and being able to take care of everything in the house as well.

[Subarugirl]

I think its up to the person and something that should be talked about before getting into a serious relation ship. If the couple wants to, go for it. If not, don't. It's that simple.

[Anonymous]

To me, the perfect woman would be educated but would stay home with kids when they are younger, then go back to work when the kids are old enough that they can be self sufficient at home after school before the parents get home from work. Children need and deserve a real mother.

[Subarugirl]

So working to provide and support your family financially isn't being a real mother?

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl No, it's not. If you hire out the job of raising your children to a daycare working who doesn't care about your children, you are not being a real mother.

[Subarugirl]

That's an interesting point of view, by that logic the father that leaves to go to work every day isn't a real father.

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl Nope

mothers =/= fathers

If you are going to argue they are the same then I will not waste my time with you.

[Subarugirl]

Says the guy who comments anonymously okay 😂

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl What, specifically, does commenting anonymously have to do with any of this? Serious question.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

My full thoughts on it. Why Gender Roles Are Important And Why You Should Embrace Them As A Man And Woman.

[m33lad]

Traditional roles keeps a family together. The head of the family is dad.


But the evil people in This world hate that. That’s why they created segregations!


No dad of the family the women becomes picky to a point she has nothing to pick from.


Taaa daaa men and women war within one another.

[SmokinAces2000]

The hell are you talking about 😂

[Anonymous]

My grandfather never sent any of his daughters to college because he said it's a waste of money because they get pregnant and then it's all for waste. And he had a point for that era.

In the world we live in now it is mostly necessary that both husband and wife have jobs.

Do I believe that women deserve to be put in high positions in a company? No.
Because when they get pregnant it messes up everything.

[Dinklex3]

Indifferent.
People should do what they want. None of my business as long as they have the choice.

[Anonymous]

I would future hate my wife or daughters not to have a career. To have your own career is to control your destiny.

[purplepoppy]

Traditional role: stay at home, clean and cook for husband.
Modern role: go to work, come home and clean and cook for husband.

[Subarugirl]

On Point! This is the most acruate answer!

[backdoorman]

@Subarugirl I don't know any married men who don't do their share of the home related tasks. I realize it is a common stereotype, and there are men like you describe, but most are not in my experience. And I know more men who are good cooks than I do women who are. Just sayin.

[Subarugirl]

@backdoorman there is a reason it’s a stereotype

[backdoorman]

@Subarugirl That is true of every stereotype. For example, women too emotional. There is a grain of truth in it, but is it fair to generalize all women that way?

Every stereotype is fact based to some degree, but times change and many old stereotype lose most of their basis in fact. That is certainly true of this one.

[K-I-S-S]

Shitty husbands 🤔

[007kingifrit]

i prefer to date a woman that leans towards stay at home wife but its not that i won't date a girl who works. i just want to make sure she has enough time for me and the kids. plus i think traditional roles make people happier as they play to our strengths

[SaoirseS]

Tradition is peer pressure from dead people. I’m fine with them for those who choose to live what was once considered traditional roles. I’m also fine with those who decide not to.

[Apple1996]

Traditional works out best for my life and marriage. If others want to live outside the traditional roles then cool for them but I personally don't think that's the way things are suppose to be.

[nawtee_me]

I would think in todays time it is more traditional for a girl to work rather than stay at home. It just takes both incomes to really make it these days. Don't get me wrong though I applaud any girl who wants to be a stay at home mom. That in itself is more work than any other job would be...

[Anonymous]

“Traditional” women are looking more appealing all the time.


Thinking about cooking and finding time to make good food happen is challenging, having someone dedicated to that task seems practical. I also don’t need a woman who is just going to be busy with career all the time, what I’m missing is someone to manage social life.

[Azrael02]

Depends if i still have to buy dinner i guess. For real though, do i get to be a stay at home husband? Trophy boyfriend? Like... this could be kinda nifty.

[Azrael02]

After some consideration and thought... im def gonna need a pool. 😎

[FinalFantasyBro]

Both types of ladies are honestly good in my book. Seeing a woman wearing a nice lingerie around the house is really sexy but I definitely wouldn't mind seeing as lady trying to wear a business suit.

[jshm2]

Some women are better at a job than men, and vice versa. Hence I am more for job satisfaction, than mere "roles".

Think about it, would you rather work and be unhappy, if you could have an alternative?

[LavenderLuna]

Gender roles shouldn’t be forced on anyone, but people should be free to adhere to them if they wish. I wouldn’t mind being a stay at home mom, but idc what other people do.

[Socially-awkward]

I think most men like and want them as it means they don’t have to do anything and they get looked after. I think gender roles are ridiculous, it’s mostly men desperate to keep them because it gives them an advantage. If men were expected to cook, clean and bring up the children then gender roles would have been gone a long time ago

[Adam1978]

The more people that contribute the safer is the security of the home. So no since we stopped growing our own food and have machines doing most work we don't need home wifes.

[The-Wise-Phoenix]

I couldn't care less either way as I am not getting married until there are some important changes made in the family court system.

[Cherry234]

I'm neutral about traditional gender roles. If a woman wants to be a stay at home wife or wants to focus on her career it's her choice. I don't care what she does with her life and it's none of my concern

[AudreyV92]

I have no problem with girls who want to be a stay at home mom or a house wife I just know there's no way I could ever do it, I get bored really really easily and would lose my mind 😁