Oh, that's certainly a "feminist favorite" phrase, right out of a Women's Studies textbook. But like literally every other thing in those textbooks, it's a lie.
Men aren't threatened or intimidated by "independent women" - we're merely UNINTERESTED in them, perhaps with the exception of being providers of casual sex. When a woman says "I'm an independent woman!", men literally translate that in their minds as her saying "I'm only good for casual sex and nothing else" and that's how he'll see her from then on.
Why is this? Well, first, it's because it's a complete lie. Let's imagine that you woke up tomorrow, and every man on the planet had disappeared. Would you be able to live out your remaining years? Would you even survive a year? There would be no power, no clean water, no gas, no ships, no farming, etc. Men do 99.99% of those jobs, and in days or weeks, things would be breaking down, and there would be no way for the remaining women to fix them - they lack the necessary experience to fix this infrastructure in time.
But to call yourself an "independent woman" strongly implies an attitude that you don't RESPECT men or men's contributions to your life. There are plenty of women who are technically independent - have their own careers or businesses and can pay their own way - but would never call themselves "independent women" because they don't have that disrespectful-of-men and "men-as-the-enemy" attitude that feminism teaches, and I'm not talking about those women. I'm talking about the ones who love to call themselves "independent" just because they make money.
If you were ACTUALLY independent, you wouldn't care what men thought or did, because it wouldn't be relevant to you.
Men don't have any (non-sexual) interest in women who don't value or respect men - why would they? Most "independent women" still very much want a relationship with a man, and are surprised when men don't want them, and they love to believe it's because men are threatened by them. If men were threatened by an independent woman, they'd be fighting her, because that's what men do when threatened. Instead, independent women just become irrelevant to men - just a woman who has nothing to offer beyond sex, and men don't need to be in a relationship for that.
Men also know full well that while men have always spent money on women, women earning money rarely means that the money is spent on the man. Women still expect men to be Traditional (including earning more than she does, no matter how much she makes), while she has changed to be Independent and has taken from him the benefits he received in trade for him providing for her. In other words, women want the benefits of a traditional man without any of the responsibilities - and men simply aren't interested in this. It's not a good deal for men, and so men are rejecting that deal, allowing independent women to be independent and be alone, which is presumably what they want.
And men know that when a woman out-earns a man, she will divorce him over 80% of the time (this comes from CDC stats, who keep track of marriage and divorce in the US), and if they have kids, she's still going to get primary custody of the kids 91% of the time.
The media is reporting that the number of divorces has fallen in that last 5-6 years, but they don't mention that this is largely because the marriage rate has plummeted over the last 10-15 years - few people married means fewer divorces. Men are choosing to remain alone rather than deal with "independent women."
Women who are not independent at all can be a burden due to passive mindset. And if you are childless, you may as well do something useful with your life. But I think what you are talking about is a standard situation in a couple where a woman typically ends up sacrificing at least a few years of her career to take care of children. It can easily be 10+ years which is a lot and I disagree with fleeing to work and paying someone else to raise your own children. Doesn't mean she can't have a career, but there are tradeoffs. And as a result of this dynamic, women tend to want men who have same or higher income and men tend to want women with same or lower income so that it doesn't get awkward when the woman stays home.
I personally have no problem with smart, capable and action oriented women and if they have a degree and a fine job and can contribute their savings to help get a bigger better shinier house, great. But as soon as their drive to succeed at work collides with their willingness to be a homemaker, even if only temporarily, that is where I have a problem with it. So if a woman spends time up to her early thirties in college and emerges at the age of 33 with a shiny new degree, a ton of debt and a lot to prove, she is definitely not marriage material in any sense of the word, because she positioned herself to be at a disadvantage if she has children right then and delaying any further increases the risk of not being able to have them at all.
Beyond the initial breastfeeding period however, if a confident and independent woman wants to have flexible schedule and share the burden of raising the children with me, that is not a problem. But not that many jobs are well suited to that kind of arrangement.
In the end someone who worked on their virtue and learned a lot about how to raise children well to the detriment of financial independence will still be preferable for me. It is however not because of her submissiveness but because of her dedication to things that truly matter in life. If a woman can and wants then also work for money after her main job is done, that's neither here nor there.
As a heterosexual woman who has had to deal with men being intimidated by my success I both agree and disagree with your perspective. I'll explain why bellow
I agree in the sense that there are a lot of men who are intimidated by a woman who has achieved financial and career success. However, I don't agree that it's inherently due to men needing to be "controlling" in any sort of abusive way (not saying that's never the case, but I think that's more of the exception). It's more so largely because society still has put a certain expectation/pressure on men to be providers for their family. If the woman they're with doesn't need the guy she's with to provide for her financially the man can potentially feel emasculated. Moreover, they can feel that their role/importance in the relationship is diminished.
We women who are financially/professionally successful and are in such relationships with men who may feel emasculated and/or intimidated as a result need to be patient and understanding with how our partner feels. I absolutely am not saying at all that we need to apologize for striving for excellence or should try to be less professionally successful to make him feel better. However, we do need to be patient and understanding of where he's coming from. Moreover, there are legitimate concerns he may have that we can and should go out of our way to address.
1. Firstly, I think there's nothing wrong with the need to feel needed in a relationship. I think we all want to feel that our partner truly needs us in our lives and we're not just some "take it or leave it" type of relationship to them. Make sure he knows you truly do need him in your life. A few examples of ways you could do this include (but aren't limited to) asking him to help you in different areas you really could use his help in (and be sure to express genuine appreciation afterwards), check in with him when you're about to make a big decision and take his thoughts/opinions seriously (and let him know that), and open yourself up to him and let yourself be vulnerable around him.
2. Find ways to make him still feel masculine in your relationship. Ask him to fix things around the house (even if you can do it yourself). Let him know he makes you feel safe. Let him cook the meat if you're barbequing. If he's got muscles tell him how strong he is/get "girly" about them. When your in bed talk about how "big" and "hard" his asset is (if you know what I mean).
Because they realize that means women will love them for who they are instead of their money. That kind of person knows nobody will because they are unlikable to society. Therefore, they long for older times when they could abuse and own women. They are the same kind of people who would own slaves if they could. Bottom of barrel sort of people.
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131Opinion
We are NOT “threatened” by independent women. That’s just a bullshit feminist generalization. Most of us appreciate a woman who can hold her own but at same time love and more importantly respect us. I find that to be extremely attractive
No what we can’t stand is the following:
- The incessant need for western women to go around telling everybody they are “strong and independent”. In 2021 there are more higher education and career advancement options for women then men. Women are out graduating men at a (frightening) pace. Also wage gap my ass. It’s illegal to explicitly pay a woman for the exact same job. Corporations are scared shitless about anti discrimination. You are actually MORE likely to be hired if you are a woman for diversity quotas.
- Women who use the bs excuse to “follow their heart” to screw over or cheat on decent men. Date who you want but female cheaters are no better than male cheaters. Both are equal POS’s. Quit trying to justify being a piece of shit. Men will never get away with that “follow your heart” bullshit so neither should women.
- Women who use their sexuality for monetary gain while still expecting to be “respected” for it. No if you voluntarily decided to use your body (stripping, cam shows, prostitution, etc.) you took the easy way out. 99.999999999% of men can’t make money that way. We got to actually work. Do what you want but don’t expect not to be judged. You were born with a marketable body you didn’t earn it.
- Women who go around acting like “alpha females” but when the going gets tough they want a shoulder to cry on. A famous example of this was Rhonda Rousey. After her first MMA loss she was on the Elle show saying she was suicidal. While I take suicide seriously I can say absolutely no male MMA fighter would ever get away with that. Especially if they put on a “hard ass”
persona prior to the set back.
Anyway the list goes on. But the bottom line is decent men will recognize and respect women who are truly independent. Quit exposing that crap. Talk is cheap.
This could go one of three ways (I give actionable advise at the end):
1. Guys innately want to feel like they are providing something to the relationship. If you deny him any sense of worth by reminding him that he's not needed (inadvertently or not), its going to drive him away or down into the ground if he doesn't leave. Thankfulness and respect in a women to a man is like decisiveness and confidence in a man to a women.
I am educated myself. I enjoy dating and being in the company of women that have a had great success in engineering and the medical field. It's nice to talk with someone with their own pursuits. It might be different since I am "on their level". If I wasn't, I imagine that I would be pretty intimidated, but not because they are women and successful. It's like meeting anyone that has vastly better achievements than yourself; you might feel inadequacy regardless of the other persons gender.
2. This one might sting a little, and it is not directed at anyone. However, it's something to be aware of. Pushing the fault for someone not being liked by another person is a form of coping. It comes from a desire to avoid self-reflection. The issue may even not be that bad, but a deep seated fear of some sort prevents being critical.
In this case, the problem could be anything. Perhaps the dating issues don't come from the individuals success at all, but is a scapegoat. It's been repeated enough times online that one could subconsciously pick up the idea. The ONLY way to truly eliminate this as a root cause is to assume fault and critically self-evaluate.
3. They have been in past relationship where not making enough money is the reason for past breakups. As guys, in MOST circumstances, we need to be able to provide more than the other person. This is becoming painfully out in the open. There are plenty of articles now mentioning that men are graduating college less often and making less money, and that is causing a relationship-suitable-men dating pool collapse. Marriages often end when the husband looses his job and can't get back on his feet within a certain time frame. In street interviews, many women admit that they wouldn't want to date a man that makes less money than them for the long term or at all.
You may be one of the women that isn't bothered by her man making less money, and I applaud that, but unless you find a way to hit those thankfulness and respect points that every guy needs in some way, you are going to have trouble. Showing gratitude for receiving gifts or dinner is easy, but it sounds like you may need to be a bit more creative. My suggestion is just have him do something for you... anything. Don't give him chores; that will just irritate anyone. Instead, give him a challenge that would help you out if he could figure out and tackle (and have it mean something to you and especially if it's an area of interest for him). Regardless of the scenario outlined above it's a good idea to show appreciation. That's just one idea, but hopefully it gets more ideas going. It also shows a bit of willingness to work on things.
That's a misinterpretation.
Women call it 'independent' and use words like 'threatened' and that all others who don't support ALL of their life decisions and actions are 'just jealous.' In most cases, this is not an accurate interpretation at all.
What men see, and don't like, is that women now seem unappreciative, entitled, stubborn, unkind, and only want equality in the world when it suits them and is advantageous to their life. (Not all women. But the women you have described.)
Men mostly don't care what women do for a living. Some like career women, successful in their work, who make a great living. But to most men, what they want is NICE, capable, and logical but loving. A woman who treats him and others, nicely.
And the more money a woman makes, the more she expects/wants/wishes her man to make, proportional to hers. He cannot make less or she will call him a leech. So his successes are shared. But her successes are primarily kept as her own, and he must match or better them. And in this current economy, that is getting harder to achieve. She will call him lazy. But he won't call her lazy. It's things like this hypocrisy that upsets men.
It's rarely about intimidation or jealousy. It's the character of the women who are not only emboldened, but have very unrealistic expectations of what the man should bring to the table, with a list of 'should haves' yet don't seem to have any list of what they should contribute. Women are asking/demanding men to prove their worth to women, while women stand and judge who is worthy to be with them. That's what the men are pissed off about when it comes to 'independent women.'
I am a university student right now, but I can express my thinking about my, would be, wife.
See, I, for one would definitely not feel threatened if my wife is independent or any of my co-workers.
In fact, I would feel happy for any woman near me. I want everyone to be independent and happy in their life. I don't get jealous just because my friends, 50/50 boys to girls ratio, get internships in MNCs, or get higher marks in exams or anything related to things like that. It is their hard work, they are getting the profits for that.
The same case gets applied to women too. I would genuinely feel happy for all of them, GIVEN THAT, those women are not rude, have an attitude, or just an unpleasant person around to be.
If they are rude or unpleasant, I would just feel angry but never threatened from them!
Having been a part of two groups for 4 semesters straight, with female leads. Both were outstanding, by the way, I only want my boss, or my coworker to really deserve it.
Never forget that, girls are majorly ahead of academics wrt boys, hence I just have the deserving criteria for any girl out there. Which I think is the perfect criteria for any person on a particular post I think.
If a woman, girl is reading this opinion and if you feel offended or any such opposing feeling, please reply to this post so that I can understand both sides. Thank you.
women have created and adapted to this new paradigm shift. However men are still treated like they need to be living a certain way going back like 50-60 years ago and that's unfair. especially with many modern women still expecting men to remain the same while they change for their own benefit. If the modern woman can accept the modern man then i dont see an issue. Accept that maybe you won't get everything in a modern man too. If women compete for positions then realize only so many of those positions are available and you might not get a guy in that bracket. Judge a man for his character and actions and what he does.
Its good not all girls today are looking at men as a meal ticket. But so many if not most still seem to want men who make more than them even though more women are the ones with degrees in high paying fields today. Less men are going to school and pursing careers and this happens when men can't compete in a meritocracy. many give up and men stagnate without conflict. we ALWAYS stagnate without conflict! And when men stagnate I assure you that all aspects of society will rot away and change in ways you won't be very fond of tbh.
No of course women should get to do what they want and all that comes with that. What I’m trying to wrap my head around is when women were dependent on their man for everything like you’re saying does that mean they were being fake and basically prostituting themselves (which I can careless if a woman has sex for money I’ve never exchanged goods with any but growing up I knew a few and they were my friends) and doing this so they could be under a mans thumb. If that’s the case then that sucks because if they were faking they loved him and loved being a mom and housewife just to keep this dude paying the bills while being under his thumb I mean I’m not sure who the bad guy is in this situation or are you only saying the women that were abused and unhappy were being deceitful like that to avoid abuse because if that’s the case then hell yeah I’m all for the abused women to gain there independence from the nightmare they were living and as far as the men crying about that’s on them for not keeping his woman happy. Yes I know he didn’t own her I would call a guy a woman’s man so don’t trip
Those men are older for the most part, but within your lifetime you're seeing the fruits of the labor of many women that have moved thought and perspective towards your desired end-state.
Things have ALSO moved this way because enough MEN agree with you and have supported women.
I grew up #6 of 6 kids with no dad.
I have massive respect for my mother and my grandmothers and my sisters.
I have two daughters.
Rejectedorincesses. com.
A book made by a MAN because he was looking to give his daughters examples and role models of powerful women throughout history and he couldn't find one compiled source. So HE made one. I think he's on volume 2 now.
If it was JUST women fighting for your rights and men were completely against you... you never would have come so far.
You have more rights and things still need to change, I agree, but there are men who support you as well.
You never threw ALL men under the bus and I'm not saying you did but this sounds a bit whiny and empowered women are not whiners.
You're an awesome young woman and mother. I guess I'm a little surprised that you keep ringing that bell when it's already done it's work. We're just waiting for the dinosaurs to die out.
We aren't, just concerned at how smug some women are about defending themselves and then go around purposefully harassing people not realizing how big of a disadvantage they're at even with a gun against a man. Arrogance not only hurts the reputation of self defenders, but it puts the defender in serious danger.
Men are almost always the intended victim in violent crimes and it never ceases to amaze me how many of these "independent" women can't see why that's the case when women are exponentially easier to attack as they're far weaker, almost never have the mental strength to fight back, and have far more valuables on them than men do.
Why is that? Here's the reason, perpetrators operate under the assumption that the man in the situation will fight on her behalf, and that's very often the case as I've recorded more instances of a man, sometimes at random, stepping in and stopping perpetrators from victimizing a female. When women are targeted, it's almost always in a situation where the woman is alone, without a man be it a spouse or friend with them.
What makes a woman more likely to be alone, or with just other girls that are just as woefully incapable of protecting themselves as she? This mentality of "independence".
Second, you don't need men? Okay, so you don't need about 80% of the police force deterring and intervening in criminal activity, 89% of firefighters, 70% of EMT's, 88% of the armed forces, 64% of farmers, 64% of not to mention the hundreds of thousands of good samaritans (almost all of which are men) stepping in when you need help?
No offense, you're about as independent from men as an unresponsive hospital patient with no brain activity and no breathing is independent of doctors and other healthcare workers. To suggest otherwise is to lie to yourself and you know it's true
Ugh, this question again. Why is it that so many women are still confused by this issue?
Men have no problem with independent women. We PREFER women who know how to be adults and take care of themselves!
The problem we have is with women who have certain attitudes that are just unappealing (to anyone, by the way). Women who have a chip on their shoulder and feel like they need to prove something. Women who walk around with a neon sign over their heads that reads "I am a strong and independent women who doesn't need a man".
What would you think of a man who feels the need to proclaim "I am a strong and independent man who doesn't need a woman"? Do you see how ridiculous you women sound when you say that? It makes us guys want to say "congratulation, I'll bet you can even tie your own shoes and wipe your own ass, too".
Again, the vast majority of men like and prefer women who know how to be adults and take care of themselves. But if you are a self-proclaimed "strong and independent women" and feel the need to tell the world about it, you're going to come off as an asshole and guys are not going to be very interested in you.
Learn the different already.
I am not threatened by independent women.. Truly independent women dont advertise it and virtue signal it. The ones that tout that they are "Strong independent women" are also 9 times out of 10, Disgusting, Insufferable, entitled women, with multiple children by multiple baby daddies, on state support and child support.. Which makes them anything but independent.. My neighbor down the street, is a single mother with 6 children, by 6 different fathers, Receiving child support and state assistance to the tune of 8 thousand dollars per month, she's constantly talking about how strong and independent she is, When in reality, She is anything but. This has been my personal experience by the way.
The ones that are actually independent and strong are the ones that dont have time to brag about how strong and independent they are, because they are living life. Enriching them selves, Working. the kind in the first paragraph i have ZERO respect for. The second kind, Well, Is my wife.
They are the kind that are obsessed with controlling women. They live in the past, controlling men are lacking something inside of themselves which is why they look for people - specifically women that are easy to control so when a man like that sees an independent women it is threatening to him as the independent woman brings out the part of a woman that he despises as she is not easily controllable.
She is not willing to put up with his BS and will call him out on his bs. This is threatening to a controlling mans ego and fragile sense of self worth which he can (like a bully) only get from putting women he deems as weaker down.
It always feels like men like to be needed, which annoys me as an independent woman. I think they see being independent as a threat because they know you can do without them. I've heard some men say if she’s that independent im not helping her, not even to take the trash out. It’s ridiculous men are not as strong and tough as I had imagined most are weak that’s why they like weak women lol.
There's a huge chasm between being "independent" and "insufferable."
Generally speaking: Men would rather go out in the world and make the money. If they are successful, they really don't need a woman who does that too. It's redundant. A totally independent woman *could be* a liability to a truly successful man. We don't want a needy woman, that can't do anything for herself, obviously... but when a man invites a woman to live with him, he usually wants her support at home and to take care of his needs in other ways.
We could care less if you work serving fast food or if you wear shoulderpads in your high-powered executive job. Your job or status is not what attracts 99% of men.
If women were truly "independent" they would refuse to rely on men for car repairs/services, computer repairs/services, emergency services like firemen, police, doctors, etc. Try living even one year in your life "without men" and see if you truly can be independent.
That also means no social handouts from men, like food stamps or welfare that is mostly provided by men's taxes, no jobs or promotions given to you by a man, etc.
And if a woman really was more independent she would contribute just as much as the man to a relationship/family. Financially, work wise, defending the family from violence. Yep, when a home invader comes around, the woman should fight to the death to protect her family. Lets see how well that works out.
How about having millions of women voluntarily get shot to death and have their limbs blown off defending the country and providing safety to others?
No I´m not threatened by independent women for me it´s just that the thing I don´t feel needed I don´t do anything for you not even getting interested in you.
The complication/problem is that I define "needing" not only in a context of control or dependancy.
For me "needing" could also mean a form of appreciation, like maybe some situations where you´ve talked with a friend because you wanted to talk with someone about a secret or you haven´t seen him/her for a long time.
For me the "word" also fits in those cases.
So if a woman always emphasizes on why she doesn´t need me I hear her also talking about such situations.
There's nothing more beautiful than a woman that is confident independent smart intelligent can laugh at herself and she's happy this is what all women should be oh yeah she has had beautiful eyes can be a hot sexy beautiful lover but you know there are two different types of women that are like this one of the top All the Above if she's just happy carefree and she knows who she is and she's all the above she's for me LOL there's also other independent Women who like to tell everybody how independent they are in so many different ways that they're almost rude about it I understand they had to work hard to get to where they're at but there's an independent women that just want you to know that LOL
Okay so this question is over my head what do you mean threatened by I don't understand that fart
Personally, I don't know *any* man who feels threatened by an independent woman, quite the contrary. In today's job world many couples like the security of a second income, or even depend on it.
But I can imagine this being a cultural thing for Muslim or archaic societies, that seem to evolve at a slower speed (if at all) in regards to equality. Recently I read that Saudi-Arabia just changed their laws to allow women to go to work or drive a car without a male chaperon. They realized their country has a limited supply of crude oil left and their future wealth depends on more people working and paying taxes.
Women don't need a man but they need child support.
Women don't need a man but they need alimony.
Women don't a man but cry in front of the divorce court because "they can't support themselves"
Women don't need a man but whore themselves out to millions of thirsty men on only fans.
Women don't need a man but they need special laws that turn men into legal slaves for women.
Women don't need a man but screech autistically when they spot a spider in the bathroom.
Women don't need a man but you are not a real man if you don't commit and instead fuck and leave.
Women don't need a man but you're a filthy, sexist, selfish pig if you prefer to stay single.
Women don't need a man but men who dump their pregnant girlfriends are irresponsible pieces of shit.
We are not afraid of independent women. We are afraid of repulsive mental nutcases such as yourself.
I am attracted to independent women for
The fact I want a partner a team player not a mooch , I want a girl that is going to work with me not against me , especially in today’s society , my money is her money vice versa , it doesn’t matter how much she makes just as long as she is making , having each other’s back is what’s important, having that financial security together gives each other less stress on ourselves , I always been a worker and consider myself independent I never depended on anyone to take care of me considering I am capable of working and providing for myself so having a girl that is like me is a huge turn on to me
I like independent women, nothing worse than someone depending on me for everything and not being able to think for herself.
I do get a sense though of what your referring to. Women don't men at all, they can have kids without men, raise a family without men and get all kinds of government help being a single mom.
Men have zero way to have a child without women and many times the system is stacked against men, even if they do have a child as a single father.
When I was single there was on way I'd even date someone who wasn't independent, I didn't need some co-depency relationship where I come home from work and she wants my attention 100% of the time while I'm trying to de-stress.
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