Over the weekend I had a chat with a younger cousin of mine who is attending a high school with dorms for its students. I only briefly attended dorms during college, so don't know much about the whole deal and how it all works. I remember at school camp only girls stayed together and only boys stayed together in their rooms but that's about the extent of my relevant experience on this front.
After talking to her for a bit it got me thinking about why in this day and age coed dorms and dorm rooms are not the standard. I could be wrong, but it seems that non-coed are still the most common, which (call me ignorant, stupid etc) just seems really old fashioned to me. What exactly are the reasons behind this? Is it just to prevent unprotected sex or is there some actual good thinking behind it?
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A lot of people have answered from the perspective of college. I'm also curious what people think about non coed dorms/dorm rooms for high school and if there is a particular magic age when this would be considered acceptable? One of the things I find interesting (just because it seems to be the main reason behind this) is that around the world the age of consent can be as low as 15 yet we feel the need to segregate the genders so much.
Are non coed dorm rooms (school, college etc) old fashioned or still relevant today?
Having girls and guys share a room is just stupidity at it’s highest.
from a basic infrastructure and administration point of view, it’s easy to put girls in same room and guys in same room.
Doing the opposite is fucking stupid on so many levels.
yeah having blocks the same, and floors the same not an issue, having the same room is stupid.
Anyone thinking a shared room is a good idea is just stupid or likely a guy that watches too much porn.
It’s a pretty fucked up stressful time for everyone, shoving guys n girls just adds to that stress.
Also don’t give a toss if someone is dating, still separate rooms, as the next week they will not be dating and hate each other, you then have to find a room for one of them, mid year etc or at start of a new term.
Buildings being joint is fine, floors being joint is fine (with consent and controls), rooms is barking mad,
Seriously at 29 years of age you are unable to think of why a girl and guy sharing a room, as in made to share a room, as that is what we are saying here, there would not be an option.
It’s hard enough getting 4-6 guys ( or even 2) to share a room and get on with each other.
I have had to organise detachments of guys and girls both in the UK and overseas.
The reasons are multitude, from hygiene and sanitary, masturbation, Then you have if you are a guy and you have a pretty girl in your room, your mates will make every excuse to visit you, this means you have no space and definitely the girl has no space. It is on a number of levels just stupid
The management and infrastructure requirements would be a pain.
One week Dorothy is with Ken and dating, so the room is set up for Girl and Guy, then a week later not dating and she wants to share with another girl.
A new room mate is now required for Ken or he goes in to a room.
Then there is what happens at the start of a term with no one sharing as all sharing, then your room mate gets a boyfriend, would it then be fair to either move the single girl out and then where would she go?
Then there is the room mate of the guy whose dating, what does he do.
Now multiply this by 50 and factor in the spend for spare rooms, maybe a new block just for this.
Then the duty of care that an educational establishment has.
See that breakdown is actually helpful. I agree it would definitely need to be not based on relationships, i. e. your roomie is just that your roomie. Then it would be up to the students to manage the relationship and the consequences eg. if they argue with their roomie they'll have to deal with seeing them each day, if they starting dating they have to deal with any break up fallout too. If the rules on room changes are set out up front and limitations of changing rooms strict then hopefully most roomie wouldn't be stupid enough to put themselves in super awkward situations. Hopefully?
While I was at the University, most dorms were co-ed. Some were not. Anyway there were never co-ed rooms, except where someone was in a single room and a boyfriend or girlfriend of that person more/less moved in because they were able to. But that was kept "hush hush".
I heard after I left that they went back to single gender dorms. That kind of surprised me as it didn't seem to be a big deal to me.
You can’t put a girl and a guy in the same room… It is just common sense, honestly. I am so glad the guys have their own hall, and the girls have their own hall, at my college. The only thing close to coed is the apartments. Even at that, we DO NOT share rooms with guys. Girls stay in one room, and guys in another.
We are allowed to have guys visit, but they can not spend the night for appropriate reasons. Same goes for the guys.
I like to share rooms with people who have the same bits as myself. I like to walk around naked and would like to avoid any misunderstandings if possible. So no. I dont think it's "old fashion" to be comfortable sharing a room with the same sex.
I've roomed with lesbians before. Again, we have the same bits. It's nothing new or special. Far less misunderstandings would happen. I'mma girl's girl and feel more safe sharing my private space with other females.
It’s just more awkward. I don’t think anyone should be forced to room with someone of the opposite gender (male vs. female) if they don’t want to. And I don’t think most (or even any) universities are forcing people (and by people I mean girls, most straight guys would love it) to do that.
I would have no problem rooming with a trans girl or a nonbinary person.
Dorm rooms for high school are much rarer than for college, but I would allow it if both students wanted that and both were over the local age of consent
They are super cool and the Locals wouldn’t change a thing. Separated University Dorms makes Thursday Night unforgettable for All. -Locals are pussy-pleasers and enjoy giving the GRLs something to talk about to GRLs, probe their boy-man, scalability to replicate, and to POST on media sites like this one. It’s a 3-way WIN. -DONT CHANGE A THING. Conservative Values rule ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
Non coeds don't make sense anymore. They were originally meant to separate boys and girls. But now there openly gay students as well, so they can have sex in non coeds if they want to. If the boomers wanna prevent kids having sex, non coeds aren't gonna stop them so why bother.
Yeah definitely good point. It would be interesting to see what would happen if the number of hetero and homosexual students was equal, that would really mess things up for the system!
Do you believe men and women, boys and girls can live in a room, let alone an apartment, without any sexual tension or fantasies? That can NEVER have anything to do with "times".
Of course one might argue: what difference does it make? Girls could be into girls and guys can be into other guys.
It is the fact that people believe human nature changes with time. That is what gives rise to such debates. Morals NEVER become thing of the past.
Definitely, but fantasies and actually acting on things are different things. I'm sure even married couples fantasize about all sorts of things, but not everyone acts on it.
Yes they do.. (WE do... Ahmm cough cough)... But when you hold the marriage sacred you have more than just a moral obligation. Even then, I would not opt do be in such a situation. When it comes to college dorms however, there are no boundaries and no limits.
The suites when I went to college were not coed, but the buildings were. I think it might depend on the bathroom situation. If the entire floor shares the same bathroom I think the floor should be single gender. Where I went, each suite had its own bathroom
Nah, I went to college and people are gonna be doing it no matter what. Though, it happened a lot less than I had anticipated but experience differs across the dorms. Non coed dorms feel like they encourage "rebellious" behaviour since a lot of people think that's attractive so it makes no sense nowadays.
When I was away at university I stayed in a coed dorm. However, coed dorms were only for sophomores, juniors, and seniors (upperclassmen) while the freshman stayed strictly in non coed dorms
That's so interesting, I wonder what the thinking was behind that decision: Alright so 19 year olds above we'll let them do what they want, but those 18 year olds hang on one second because they'll be messing around like rabbits, let's split them up quick! :D
I stayed last year with women in my dorm flat. Many still come over for others. Idrc. Its their life as long as they don't cause me any trouble. I don't get involved.
Yeah I personally know a lot friends who moved out after high school and stayed with coed housemates in apartment and shared houses. I didn't stalk them or anything but I didn't really hear about everyone sleeping with everyone that set foot in the place and each other.
In Croatia dorms are coed and rooms aren't, but you can ask the person in charge if you can put you in wirh girlfriend or boyfriend in a same room. And that is find by me how things work and it should stay like that.
I definitely see the potential you are talking about, but I can't but help wonder whether such a measure is really necessary for adults. This is just my personal opinion, but this measure reminds me of single gender high schools, which I don't really find that the benefits outweigh the negatives.
I went to a single gender highschool and it was far better. Also research indicates that women fare better academically in single sex enviroments. The men tended to dominate in the classroom setting. Also, having gone to univeraity, I remember the numerous cases of sexual assaults that were taking place in the dorms and in the campus grounds.
At the very least, girls who regretted their sexual decisions the day after.
We can say adults but people are increasingly infantilized and I see maturity on the decline.
No of course not, but I wouldn't be much more comfortable around a chick I didn't know either, which isn't any different to public showers for example. Weirdos come in both genders, so if I happened to end up with one I'd change rooms. I would see it not different to if you want to change at the beach but there's no changing room, what do you do? You improvise, get a towel or something and obviously not put on a show. And I'm sure over time if the roommate was decent they would find a way to make it work with you. Just my thoughts
The vast majority of men are heterosexual. The odds of you getting a male roommate who wants to fuck you are much higher than having a female roommate who does.
Yes definitely, but I don't subscribe to the idea that all guys (hetero or otherwise) are walking, sexually deviant gerbils who'll mount you the first chance they'll get. Yes they may think about, yes they may even want to at times, but that doesn't mean they'll go through with it, out of decency
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