How do we put an end to the spread of ninjas in our society?

[HighlyVolatile]

There are a lot of hidden ninjas out there. The obesity epidemic has mitigated this but there are a lot of skinny people left around us and any one of them could be ninjas. Actually, I read some papers and concluded that as many as 75% of skinny people could be ninjas.

It's even possible that I am a ninja without knowing it but I don't know martial arts. At least I don't think I know martial arts that well besides kickboxing, boxing, and a little bit of judo. I also wear a face mask.

I might even be contagious if I am a ninja without knowing it. I wear boxer briefs and sweat pants before hanging off trees and doing somersaults just like any normal person. Yet I feel a ninja inside of me and I don't want to spread the ninja to other people.

Updates

+1 y

I can't help but watch the ninja movies like this. I tell myself I shouldn't watch it but sometimes I become weak and I watch the ninja movie:
https://youtu.be/n4j6dQS95fo
Then I feel my ninja coming up so hard and I tell everyone, "Get away now! My ninja is acting up!" But it's too late.

Updates

+1 y

As one I suspect might be infected with... with this... disease... of... with... as I... not ninja... cough-cough... as I... shuriken ninja power! ... no... I mean... as I ninja jump-double-kick! noooo... what I mean... what I mean if you know what I mean... what I mean is that... you must... you... you... you... you must... must... not be ninjas! You... must... be slow... be... heavy... be... be...

[sensible27]

"if violence isn't solving all your problems, you just aren't using enough of it" : )

[NamerOfStars]

... I think you've mistaken your whiskey bottle for your water bottle today.

[HighlyVolatile]

What is this thing you call "water"?

[NamerOfStars]

Uisce bheatha without the bheatha. It's like whiskey, but dead.

[HighlyVolatile]

What's the point of drinking that! I drink life!

[LovingLoverReturned]

The only female ninja. I wonder who that is... mmmm

Anyway, you put an end to it by joining them. They will eventually eliminate each other (fancy word for kill).

[HighlyVolatile]

https://youtu.be/-f-1-YVBuXE

[LovingLoverReturned]

Hat that says ninja on it?
Lots of back flips.

If you like warriors and are not chauvinistic, I think you would like Destan.

[LovingLoverReturned]

Headband* ? Hmmmm I don't know if a real ninja would wear that. But I know nothing because maybe I'm not a ninja.

[HighlyVolatile]

Ooh, Turkish series! I don't think I've ever seen any shows from Turkey. As for headbands that say "ninja" on them, that's one of the biggest signs that someone might be a ninja. Also if their lunchbox or underwear has a shuriken logo, that's a huge red flag for someone who's probably a ninja.

[LovingLoverReturned]

That realllllllly sucks. Some of the nest shows and films are from Turkey. Destan is one that is not cliche romance and the main genre is action/suspense...

I think I want a dinner dress with shuriken pattern throughout.. and also akatsuki pattern. Thanks for the ideas

[007kingifrit]

we just need to recreate the cultural context that wiped out the ninja last time.

everyone go buy a gun

[HighlyVolatile]

The ninjas can even carry guns these days, submachine guns to be specific.

[TheMajesticKing777]

From the what I've heard there was only one person left spreading the knowledge of ninjitsu and he is really old

[goofman]

Remove the crackers first. They're a poison on humanity.

[JuanVeIasco]

Indeed, I weigh 50 kilos and I am a ninja.

[HighlyVolatile]

That sounds too much ninja!