But I rarely tell people this because many see me as a betrayal to woman's rights because I’m more a 1950’s type girl and love it.
Am I wrong here? Am I setting a bad example.
It is not a "betrayal to woman's rights" to make your own choices in life. As long as you don't force it on others you're fine. lol. It would be violating your rights to tell you what you have to like and live your life.
No there is nothing wrong with you that is normal and we are all different. It was a weird thing most of my exes worked in a job where many times they are stereotyped as a lot of women in the profession being "butch dyke" which really isn't true.
I would say they had a lot of more masculine interests as well... But one was a really really good cook. She used to and she still does make pans of brownies for the ones at work. She loved making cakes and pies and all kinds of stuff. She also loved to shop and sew and stuff.
But at the same time loved to shoot with a passion. She was kind of a boss though I won't lie... It was always her nature (she was a cop by the way I guess I will give it away. I am not giving her name out so)
Loved to go hang out at the river. Loved listening to different kinds of music. She was a devout Christian.
But she was a absolute sweetheart. So caring. So nurturing. Which is why she became a cop. She said that she really wanted to help people but that she also hates evil with a passion. She said that if she was not a cop she would love being a therapist, veterinarian, nurse, or something like that. She literally was so so giving.
She used to so many times she could get a bag of burgers or something from Braums and would give them to homeless people.
I will say this you did not want to fuck with her either. Somehow she had like fucking superhuman strength. She has taken down a lot of men bigger then she is with her own two hands.
She would literally pick me up and throw me onto a couch or bed and pin me down when I was having a bad day or something and tickle me until I felt better.
But I mean she was really beautiful. She doing her hair and makeup. She was like a cross between a country girl and a city girl. She loved both worlds so much.
Damn I want her back. I still anyways. She also almost crushed me when she would hug me.
I don't know what that woman was. But she was something else. Maybe a angel? I don't know. .
Sorry to go on and on like that
She took me in. Let me cry on her. Really she knew I was upset and have been holding it in and kinda forced it out of me and said she was just being nurturing. I think I melted into her like sneseywarmer wax. I felt like.
She would just talk to me. She talked me me liked she loved me. She did not treat me like I was a idiot. Taught me a lot of new things. She brought me more confidence then I ever had.
The woman had something about her that just made me the happiest person ever. I just feel horrible anymore. I can't even move or get out of bed without just wanting her with me. She loved scratching me I was not scratched in so long.
She loved showing off every time she got new nails (she broke them a LOT). She almost died a few times which really really put me in a bad place. But she is like a real life wonder woman or something
It was funny since when we would snuggle before I had to go back home. She would hold onto me. She would like grab my legs and my arms. Even if I was just getting situated she was scared I was gonna run away lol. We held tight on for dear life onto each other. We put our hands all over each other.
We cried on each other. You don't even know some of the things she's seen and been through. Really bad stuff. I was kind of her go to.
If I had to use the bathroom she would wait outside the door for me and pick me back up again and then put me on the inside of the couch so I could not escape and use her legs as well. Really keep me pinned in there.
It was great really. I did it to her too though.
I would love swooping her up about every chance I got.
Feminism as I understand it means also the right for a woman to choose what they're going to do with their life. Choosing to be a housewife is a perfect valid choice. I'm saying this because in my own family there were women earning a living as my mother, and housewifes as my mother's sister.
My aunt told me that one day a professional nurse came at her house for some medical duty. During a conversation the nurse casually said that she worked and that my aunt just did nothing... I have seen the work that's involved in keeping a household: there's always something to do and organize! Women should be respected for whatever choice they make.
I remember one of my clients, a lady who earned a living by babysitting and taking care of other people's kids. She also had 3 children, and one day she became aware that when she took care of the other children, her own kids were neglected. On top she had to pay a day-nursery for her own children. She told me that at last she had decided to resign her job in order to take care herself of her own children.
The situation for many women, with or wanting kids, is not easy.
If this is what works for you, there's nothing wrong about it. If you have a spouse who loves you as you are and your partnership works within this context, it's fine.
Here's my only problem with what you're saying: You equate being a homemaker with being "feminine." There is nothing feminine or masculine about caring for your home and doing homemaking tasks. They are necessary to keep a household working whether you're married or not.
There are boss women who love to dress prettily and care for THEIR homes too. I certainly love caring for and improving mine, and I've never aspired to be a stay-at-home spouse.
Being a boss doesn't mean you can't be feminine. Being a nurturing man doesn't make you feminine. In fact, being a nurturing, care-taking man is the most masculine thing a man can do, in my opinion.
And what man doesn't support his woman in all HER endeavors, be they at home or in the workplace?
Each spouse should treat the other with love, support and respect. Those are the foundations of coupling. They have nothing to do with how you dress or whether you like traditionally feminine or masculine roles. It's each to what they like and how they've agreed to be partners. There should be no limitations on who does what. Make it fit the two of you.
You’re not wrong. If it makes you happy sure. But remember to protect yourself because if you’re not working and you have a divorce. For example in Nigeria there’s no alimony protecting you. You may also not be awarded child support most times. Especially when your husband is rich here and he has good lawyers and connections. So even if you want to be a housewife think about what would happen if we got a divorce. What happens when you don’t love him as much as you used to. A lot of times it’s harder for housewives to leave toxic marriages especially in Nigeria. Because once you’re gone you get nothing. So they’d rather stay in the marriage than begin from scratch. So I’ve always said this I want to work for my money but sure if for any reason he wants me to stay at home. Well he has to make sure that the money I would have earned when working he can afford to pay it. Or buy houses in my name. So that either ways we’ll all be happy with no regrets, oh and in Nigeria people rarely have joint accounts it’s usually single accounts. So more reasons for you to need a backup. I’ve just seen so many rich people in Nigeria divorce then their loving homemaker of s wife is left worst of. I would never want that to be me
Opinion
118Opinion
It’s not wrong if it makes you happy. Just understand that it’s not what some other women might want.
No nothing wrong with that! I like the idea of being a housewife and I used to want to be one. The only thing for me is that I don’t want to have to rely on someone else for money and I want to be rich and own my own business.
You can be a housewife and still support women’s rights. It’s a woman’s right to do what she wants, whether that’s work or being a homemaker.
Being nurturing, caring, sensitive and feminine are great traits in women that should be celebrated. It’s our purpose and what we’ve evolved to be.
There’s a spectrum to this too - I’m very nurturing and sensitive, but I can still be a hard bitch and I’m very head strong. We’re all unique.
I’m going to have my business set up in a way (kennel facilities and business run on my property to export dogs overseas) that I can still be there for my kids. I’m going to have kids young to get them over and done with, so as they get older, I can run my business more easily. They’ll be raised around it, they can help out and learn everything (running a business, animal care, etc).
When they’re babies, I can have a wrap sling and take them about the kennels with me. I can have a kids area set up down there and always be around for them. I’ll have employees that care for specific litters, my dad as my business manager, etc.. I’ll still have time to do all the girly baking and all that stuff (my mum owns business and always makes time to bake).
Femininity has anything to do with housewiving. I'm a feminine lady but I prefer to work a job. Its my dream to have kids but I don't want to restrict my life to just staying home but learning, growing , exploring the world. I am nurturing, submissive, caring, attentive, sensitive, love dresses, flowy blouses, pink, my number 1 goal in life is to be a mother But at the same time I don't want to be a stay home mom. I would do so for a few years when the kids are young but I plan on going back to work when they get older.
People need to stop stereotyping all career women as dominant, bossy, sassy, full of attitude. There are plenty of career women that are feminine, nurturing, and caring.
This spoke to me Thankyou so much for you answer ❤️
Good luck. ⏰
Of course its not wrong while i strongly fight for women's rights and everything they have accomplished so far i believe some things were done on purpose by large corporations such as pushing and forcing all the women into the workforce effectively doubling the workforce and halving the pay for everyone. Before a single parent can support the whole entire house and expenses and family vacations with a single income but now it takes both partners and parents to support the whole family leaving no room for house chores and home cooked meals and the most important part of the family the actual parenting of children. But you do get a lot of consumer spending such as buying takeout for dinner and hiring babysitter and and private tutoring and all other kinds of expenses families did not have before. Thanks to Capitalism! 😉
But thats how the nuclear family was destroyed
Corporate greed is as always the root of all evil hey.
Yup exactly! Which is also synonymous with money and synonymous with Capitalism. But these blind fools continue to defend capitalism and actually advocate for their OWN enslavement and exploitation! 🤦 Its honestly heartbreaking to see humanity get this low...
It honestly makes me fear for humanity with how easy it is to brainwash a majority with an ideal that is essentially enslaving them.
No there is noting wrong with it, that's your preference and what works for you. As long as realize how privileged you are now that you get to make that choice and it's because of the woman's right movement that it's something you chose to do instead of being forced.
Though I have to disagree with that first paragraph, being nurturing to your family, take care of house hold tasks, dressing neatly and treating your significant other with love, support and respect are the bare minimums of being a functional adult in a romantic relation.
They aren't feminine traits, those are traits of a well adjusted adult and are neither feminine nor masculine.
No it's not. If it makes you feel better when I have kids I'm going to want to become a stay at home mom while my husband goes through work and I'll stay home and take care of both the children and the household. As for feminine I'm extremely girly especially during the spring and summer months. I love tradition and believe it's the key to not only a happy life but also ideal for society. So no it is not wrong at all
Life is short. Do what makes you happy. Just make sure you have money saved away for a rainy day no matter how good in the moment it feels to be a housewife. Since I feel one of the big cons of being one is lack of income to dip into if, and when, you want to leave.
Then there is the other factor which is what will one do if the relationship ends and they have to support themselves financially? How easy will it be for you to get a job after being out of work for so long due to being a housewife?
Those cons are what would make me never advocate for someone becoming a housewife. As people can become surprisingly cruel once they know you're financially dependent on them ( at their mercy).
I love all that too but to a point, I won't get used and walked all over nor will I be his housekeeper or mother. I'd love to clean the home, make the meals, I wear pretty/girly clothing, soft and loving and so on but women who are soft and will do anything for their partner can also easily get used, I will easily cut someone off if that treats me bad, who doesn't also want to learn to cook/make some meals in the day, someone who won't also clean up after themselves because they could get used to you doing every single little thing and they don't lift a finger.
Honestly you can like and do what you want and if people don't like it then they can buzz off. You're free to have your own likes and dislikes and look for a person to match you.
@IsoUser Huh?
Why is that being wrong? Feminists bang n about not enough women on the board of Fortune 500 companies but the reality is that very few men get to be on those boards also. It is fairly irrelevant to most of us guys and girls.
Most of us will be wage slaves is the reality. Even if you own and run a small business you are still in that category because you will be doing most of the work. Its not a Big Boss puffing on a cigar while counting his money scenario.
It is a matter for you and your man to work out what suits you both collectively. Why should you jump to other peoples ideas of how to live your life? You shouldn't let the matocracy dictate you life.
I've known woman who had the simple ambition of being a good wife and mother but sadly it hasn't happened for them.
Good luck to you.
Nothing wrong about June Cleaver. When all the woke BS is set aside, most guys want a wife like her.
https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.981b672ba588ec4a4b74c046ba091ef9?rik=VqFHA4YJMRwbRw&riu=http%3a%2f%2fmedia-cache-ec0.pinimg.com%2f736x%2f59%2f19%2fe2%2f5919e2102faef82b3600c6fe03c97c97.jpg&ehk=jId%2bCQEVXB4f%2fpelXJBUuBMD5FP60fwbE6azPF4YZE4%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0
I would love it if more women were like you. It’s not a betrayal of anything. Especially not a Marxist front group that hates you to begin with. Your dating pool just added millions of potential men that are worth your time once it gets out that you really are one of the rare few that have finally decided to see the light and do what you actually want without fear of social consequences. I’m so happy for you finally living your best life and allowing yourself to stop pretending to be something you are not. That take a lot of courage.
You are so delusional lmfao Marxist hate women? How does an economic system that is centered around the workers and advocates for the fair treatment of all human beings women and men hate women? Are you really that uneducated?
Its your precious capitalist and corporate overlords that have destroyed the nuclear family and reduced your wages since the 1950s and made all of you dumb ass americans into slaves and cogs
@vald9inches Marxists hate that they need peasants to voluntarily enslave themselves. They hate anyone who isn’t in the party because they are dependent on them. Marxists created feminism to deprive families of a full time wife and mother and to manufacture resentment between the sexes. Depriving children of their mother makes them desperate for a bonded connection, which the Marxist teachers unions are positioned to provide. How it hates women is that it forces women to work against instinct and evolutionary biology to become tax cattle tools of the state. It is actually Marxist subversion and lack of understanding or willful misunderstanding of basic economics that has gotten us where we are today. If you and your marxist ilk would get out and go away we could carry on being the largest and most successful economy on earth unimpressed by your lies and slander.
I don’t think is wrong, I believe that if you do things you love then you create a positive energy with the things you do, then those around you will feel that same energy. So if you enjoy being a housewife, be girly and treat your husband with love…then don’t be afraid of it. People will always talk anyway, so if they will, let them talk about how much you enjoy your life and being yourself dear. 💗
like what you like - yes some people can see this as backward and non-feminist but then they're not really feminist if they don't allow for women to make their own choices for everything you know? as long as you're respecting yourself and not letting someone walk all over you then who cares
Yes it's wrong girl, not because of dating expectations but because you're gonna end up being poor, dumb and and unable to survive in a very scary world, if a man leaves you. Times have changed, every individual should know how to get by alone (work, skills, social circles, etc.). Or how do you usually live when you break up, you leech them off all the money on court? Or you leech your parents off? Do you have kids? If not what are you gonna do when a man dumps you with 2 kids on your shoulder, will you then need to find another man asap to be happy and taken care of? I smell natural selection here.
Well I’ll admit I don’t have the best survival skills. I was raised in a middle income household and have a semi wealthy family to fall back on in said situations.
Truth be told if I didn’t have that backing and was stuck on the streets I probably wouldn’t last long thinking about it.
You are setting a good example, doing what you want and like to do. The goal of feminism is to empower women to have the opportunity to do what they want to do. Anyone who thinks being a 50s woman is bad doesn't understand what being a feminist is all about.
Nope. You do you. I love a woman that will do things that she likes. I’m just a big believer in, if that’s your way. Be all the way in it. If you believe that a man should be out there providing and stuff like in those days, then don’t think you have equal say in financial decisions and that is your duty to take care of him and his needs, the house and kids… if you work and help take care of things or your portion of things. Then you do have equal say in those decisions. Women make the mistake that it’s a “respect” thing when it comes to that. No, it’s just logical. If you don’t want to have that kind of responsibility, then you don’t get the privilege of having a seat at the table and making those decisions. But you do you girl. This world needs a little more balance of power boss girls and feminine ladies that care deeply about there families.
Why would a stay at home mom not have a seat at the table when talking about finances? Do you not see the parents as a team? Working together to achieve their financial goals?
If the stay at home mom runs the house and takes care of everything for the children, do you believe the dad shouldn’t have a seat at the table when it come to those things?
Stay at home moms don’t necessarily stay home because they don’t want that kind of responsibility. Some stay home because they prefer to raise their kids themselves, and are lucky enough to be able to afford to.
@OrallyFixated Probably just learned gender roles.
@OrallyFixated first, working together to achieve financial goals only works when both sides actually contribute financially. Second, father’s haven’t had a say when it comes to there kids for a while now. Father’s usually don’t have a say in those decisions legally if the parents split and even in the home.
Third, there is a different between a housewife and a stay at home mom. If she was a mom she would have said stay at home mom, a housewife implies that she just wants to to be a wife that stays home. Doesn’t mean there are kids. And lastly, I said there is nothing wrong with it, however, if man doesn’t work, family don’t eat. Yet, If a man wants to be a stay at home dad or whatever, you would crucify him for that.
@Keepitanomonous no such thing as gender roles. That’s also a 50s belief. If a woman is single she has to perform the “roles” of both man and a woman to provide for herself. If she has a child she has to do both “roles” to take care of her child. I think you need to learn a bit about social and relationship dynamics. And rejoin the conversation at a later time. Nice try tho, little buddy.
Working together to achieve financial goals isn’t ONLY about putting money in a bank account. For most people, it’s about budgeting, making sacrifices, and just being responsible. Just because a person works, doesn’t automatically mean they are financially responsible and should be in charge of all the money needed to support the entire family.
There are definitely legal inequities when it comes to men and their children, but we’re not talking about that. We are talking about the dynamics within a family. If everybody is happy with dad taking care of all the finances, then that’s what works for them. But to say that the stay at home parent has no say in their own financial future is just stupid. (Please note, your comment, the one I responded to, did bring up children. So I also spoke of children.)
“If the man doesn’t work, the family don’t eat.” Unless the mom works, right? I mean, females are capable of working to feed their families too, no?
“Yet, If a man wants to be a stay at home dad or whatever, you would crucify him for that.” I would? Do you know that for a fact? Or is it possible you don’t know me at all and are just projecting what you “think” I believe because, obviously, you know how all women think?
Haha, I’ve known personally families where working together was not in the best interest of the family when it came to finances. Even in my own family, when I was growing up. I saw first hand some of the decisions my mother would try to make when she was a stay at home mom led the family to almost financial ruin. Luckily my father was goood with money had to step in and guide us out of the rut left by my mother. I’ve seen similar situations happen in close relationships. So yeah, I’m not convinced that couples working towards a financial goal is always in the best interest of family. Now, I’m not saying that women aren’t good with money, I’ve also talked to some where the women are the ones taking care of the finances in the home. And are very good at it. However, there is something true to be said when you work hard for the money you earn, you tend to take care of it more than someone that’s not working. And yes, that includes a house wide or a stay at home mom.
Dynamics in the home is what I referred to to the little dude earlier. You all call them “gender roles” which is as made up a term used to put people in there place. I have no problem with making up your own dynamic for what’s best in the home, however, in my assessment of this post, I was referring to the poster’s use of house wife. It can involve kids, most times it does not or they would have expressed clearly that they are a stay at home mom (which I CLEARLY clarified…)
Yes, females are capable of working. But the point of a housewife or a stay at home mom is to NOT work. Therefore, that doesn’t work does it. My point there was the hypocrisy of stay at home moms vs. dads.
Lastly, probably am projecting this, but it’s educated because of the fact that almost every person that I’ve encounters has scorned a man for wanting to be a stay at home dad or a “househusband.” They dismiss it as lazy, them being good for nothing, not masculine, etc… even tho they are home taking care of the kids like the mom.
And yet, you have not said a thing to discount that when that statement was brought up. Simply dismissed it… “…obviously, you know how women think…” in that instance, yes, I do, because I’ve heard it countless times over and over again. From almost every women I’ve encountered and had deep conversation about this very subject. Even you with you response tells me you aren’t fond of that idea or you would have had a different reply altogether. So, no I don’t know if for a fact, but based on the analysis I’ve gained from previous conversations and your defensive response to my statement.. I’m pretty accurate in my assessment of what you actually do think.
While I understand how our personal experiences shape our outlook in life, your experiences are yours, and are not applicable to everybody.
You may be convinced that a couple cannot work together for a common goal, but I have seen many different arrangements between couples. Sometimes they work, sometimes they do not. It’s almost as if it’s totally dependent on the people involved. 🤔
I made no reference to gender norms, so again, stop projecting the things you “think” I believe, and just address the words I post. Thanks
If I made enough money to support the family alone, I would have no problem with my husband staying home.
Like I said, it’s about our shared goals, and how we can get there together.
“I’m pretty accurate in my assessment of what you actually do think.”
You have an over inflated sense of your abilities in this department.
Personal experiences is the only thing that shapes your outlook on life. You can see it all day long, that only serves to confirm your personal experiences, or create conflict, chaos or confuse about what you thought you knew. Either way, all you have are your experiences. And you are right, and most of the time the best way that the two people work out those arrangements are to let one person take control of the situation (hence, one making money make the financial decisions) or to split and each do there own thing… what? 🤯
Haha, but oh what we are talking about is all “gender” norms. No projecting about anything, this is just common sense 101.
Well, I mean there were a couple predictable ways you would have approached this, I mean, this was the most predictable response. But hey, all we can do is take your word for that I guess. Unless it’s actually done in real life, we don’t know what we would do. That statement had a big IF tho. All I’m saying the other way around. There wouldn’t be a big IF. It would be I’m doing this, so you need to do this. But again, it’s just personal experience. It doesn’t mean anything to anyone as far as knowledge or common sense. So what do I know. 🤷♂️
Yeah. Usually when I read a person. I’m pretty right in there thought process and how they perceive the world. So, not over inflated, just people haven’t proved me wrong in what they’ve shown me. Not saying that they never do. But rarely do I come across someone that’s actually anything different after interacting and conversing with them.
When you make assumptions about people, and stuck to those assumptions like they are facts, statements like “I’m pretty right in there (sic) thought process and how they perceive the world” are inevitable. Even the if they are wrong. Your life experiences do not negate mine just because they are different.
But, like I said, if you want to believe that a couple cannot come together to agree on a goal and how to achieve it, that really says more about you and not people as a whole.
We’ll have to agree to disagree. I believe it’s dependant upon the people involved and not static. You think because it didn’t work that way for some people, it can’t work that way for others. 🤷♀️
I can agree to disagree. Yes, but when it comes to my experiences, verses someone else’s word. Yes I will take my life experience 10/10 times. Unless I experience differently in my life. And in this life I’ve not seen a single instance of that. Therefore, yes, my experiences do negate your 100% of the time. Doesn’t mean I don’t respect your opinion. I just take it a face value or with a grain of salt. Meaning I respect that’s what you think. But your words aren’t facts to me the same way mine aren’t for you.
I was tired when i wrote that. Just came back from a debate in another post. I just told one simple sentence and it would seem that isn't enough. Maybe your definition of gender roles is different from mine, The point now isn't debating which one is right il just tell u what i meant. As much as we like to think that were above gender expectations im suprised u think its gone so quickly. Stay at home Dads are never seen as equal to stay at home moms they are always seen as weaker in some aspects. Because of the larger social conform of men being the bread winner. Womens rights have been fought for and now they can do whatever they want and aren't restricted to certain tasks. Although men didn't have anything similar, If they want to stay at home or do anything generally considered feminine they are no doubt considered weaker by both women and men. Whichever part of the family weather it be the husband or wife is better at finance should maintain higher control over finance but shouldn't have the right to use money for purposes that may harm the opposite side. Also i agree with OrallyFixated, You do seem to have an overinflated sense of ego. There was no reason to be that demeaning. Like i said, My brain at that moment was pratically running from left over coffe beans in my system.
It’s not wrong at all, just be aware that the elites who run the US are strongly opposed to it. They want to convince you that your place is in some office working for them. They’re making it more and more difficult for workers, especially men, to clear enough income to support a family, so eventually you might be forced into the workforce. But if you can manage to live off a single income, more power to you.
There’s nothing wrong to want to be feminine or housewife. First of all, you’re a woman. You’re embracing your femininity and that’s good. Being a housewife is not an easy job either. Do whatever makes you happy. You ain’t hurting anyone. 💕
Okay so first off, the people who get angry at you for liking that stuff are not progressive feminists.
The whole point of feminism is that you have the freedom to choose. If being traditionally feminine and being housewife is what you like, than you can be it and love that. As long as you're able to do what you like doing, it's fine.
The things you describe and "Women's Rights" are not in conflict with one another. Whoever tells you that they are doesn't understand the things you desire, or what "Women's Rights" is truly all about. There's nothing "wrong" with loving and wanting those things you love.
You can also add your opinion below!