Is it wrong to love being a housewife and feminine?

Question

Ok so I’m the opposite of the dominant girl boss motif. I love all things feminine, I love to nurture, care for the home, dress prettily, treat my man with love, support and respect.

But I rarely tell people this because many see me as a betrayal to woman's rights because I’m more a 1950’s type girl and love it.

Am I wrong here? Am I setting a bad example.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It is not a "betrayal to woman's rights" to make your own choices in life. As long as you don't force it on others you're fine. lol. It would be violating your rights to tell you what you have to like and live your life.

No there is nothing wrong with you that is normal and we are all different. It was a weird thing most of my exes worked in a job where many times they are stereotyped as a lot of women in the profession being "butch dyke" which really isn't true.

I would say they had a lot of more masculine interests as well... But one was a really really good cook. She used to and she still does make pans of brownies for the ones at work. She loved making cakes and pies and all kinds of stuff. She also loved to shop and sew and stuff.

But at the same time loved to shoot with a passion. She was kind of a boss though I won't lie... It was always her nature (she was a cop by the way I guess I will give it away. I am not giving her name out so)

Loved to go hang out at the river. Loved listening to different kinds of music. She was a devout Christian.

But she was a absolute sweetheart. So caring. So nurturing. Which is why she became a cop. She said that she really wanted to help people but that she also hates evil with a passion. She said that if she was not a cop she would love being a therapist, veterinarian, nurse, or something like that. She literally was so so giving.

She used to so many times she could get a bag of burgers or something from Braums and would give them to homeless people.

I will say this you did not want to fuck with her either. Somehow she had like fucking superhuman strength. She has taken down a lot of men bigger then she is with her own two hands.

She would literally pick me up and throw me onto a couch or bed and pin me down when I was having a bad day or something and tickle me until I felt better.

But I mean she was really beautiful. She doing her hair and makeup. She was like a cross between a country girl and a city girl. She loved both worlds so much.

Damn I want her back. I still anyways. She also almost crushed me when she would hug me.

I don't know what that woman was. But she was something else. Maybe a angel? I don't know. .

Sorry to go on and on like that

mstbooblover · Accepted Answer

Feminism as I understand it means also the right for a woman to choose what they're going to do with their life. Choosing to be a housewife is a perfect valid choice. I'm saying this because in my own family there were women earning a living as my mother, and housewifes as my mother's sister.

My aunt told me that one day a professional nurse came at her house for some medical duty. During a conversation the nurse casually said that she worked and that my aunt just did nothing... I have seen the work that's involved in keeping a household: there's always something to do and organize! Women should be respected for whatever choice they make.

I remember one of my clients, a lady who earned a living by babysitting and taking care of other people's kids. She also had 3 children, and one day she became aware that when she took care of the other children, her own kids were neglected. On top she had to pay a day-nursery for her own children. She told me that at last she had decided to resign her job in order to take care herself of her own children.

The situation for many women, with or wanting kids, is not easy.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

If this is what works for you, there's nothing wrong about it. If you have a spouse who loves you as you are and your partnership works within this context, it's fine.

Here's my only problem with what you're saying: You equate being a homemaker with being "feminine." There is nothing feminine or masculine about caring for your home and doing homemaking tasks. They are necessary to keep a household working whether you're married or not.

There are boss women who love to dress prettily and care for THEIR homes too. I certainly love caring for and improving mine, and I've never aspired to be a stay-at-home spouse.

Being a boss doesn't mean you can't be feminine. Being a nurturing man doesn't make you feminine. In fact, being a nurturing, care-taking man is the most masculine thing a man can do, in my opinion.

And what man doesn't support his woman in all HER endeavors, be they at home or in the workplace?

Each spouse should treat the other with love, support and respect. Those are the foundations of coupling. They have nothing to do with how you dress or whether you like traditionally feminine or masculine roles. It's each to what they like and how they've agreed to be partners. There should be no limitations on who does what. Make it fit the two of you.

Tinana · Accepted Answer

You’re not wrong. If it makes you happy sure. But remember to protect yourself because if you’re not working and you have a divorce. For example in Nigeria there’s no alimony protecting you. You may also not be awarded child support most times. Especially when your husband is rich here and he has good lawyers and connections. So even if you want to be a housewife think about what would happen if we got a divorce. What happens when you don’t love him as much as you used to. A lot of times it’s harder for housewives to leave toxic marriages especially in Nigeria. Because once you’re gone you get nothing. So they’d rather stay in the marriage than begin from scratch. So I’ve always said this I want to work for my money but sure if for any reason he wants me to stay at home. Well he has to make sure that the money I would have earned when working he can afford to pay it. Or buy houses in my name. So that either ways we’ll all be happy with no regrets, oh and in Nigeria people rarely have joint accounts it’s usually single accounts. So more reasons for you to need a backup. I’ve just seen so many rich people in Nigeria divorce then their loving homemaker of s wife is left worst of. I would never want that to be me

MzAsh · Answer

It’s not wrong if it makes you happy. Just understand that it’s not what some other women might want.

Graci_e · Answer

No nothing wrong with that! I like the idea of being a housewife and I used to want to be one. The only thing for me is that I don’t want to have to rely on someone else for money and I want to be rich and own my own business.

You can be a housewife and still support women’s rights. It’s a woman’s right to do what she wants, whether that’s work or being a homemaker.

Being nurturing, caring, sensitive and feminine are great traits in women that should be celebrated. It’s our purpose and what we’ve evolved to be.

There’s a spectrum to this too - I’m very nurturing and sensitive, but I can still be a hard bitch and I’m very head strong. We’re all unique.

I’m going to have my business set up in a way (kennel facilities and business run on my property to export dogs overseas) that I can still be there for my kids. I’m going to have kids young to get them over and done with, so as they get older, I can run my business more easily. They’ll be raised around it, they can help out and learn everything (running a business, animal care, etc).

When they’re babies, I can have a wrap sling and take them about the kennels with me. I can have a kids area set up down there and always be around for them. I’ll have employees that care for specific litters, my dad as my business manager, etc.. I’ll still have time to do all the girly baking and all that stuff (my mum owns business and always makes time to bake).

shaysh87 · Answer

Femininity has anything to do with housewiving. I'm a feminine lady but I prefer to work a job. Its my dream to have kids but I don't want to restrict my life to just staying home but learning, growing , exploring the world. I am nurturing, submissive, caring, attentive, sensitive, love dresses, flowy blouses, pink, my number 1 goal in life is to be a mother But at the same time I don't want to be a stay home mom. I would do so for a few years when the kids are young but I plan on going back to work when they get older.

People need to stop stereotyping all career women as dominant, bossy, sassy, full of attitude. There are plenty of career women that are feminine, nurturing, and caring.

vald9inches · Answer

Of course its not wrong while i strongly fight for women's rights and everything they have accomplished so far i believe some things were done on purpose by large corporations such as pushing and forcing all the women into the workforce effectively doubling the workforce and halving the pay for everyone. Before a single parent can support the whole entire house and expenses and family vacations with a single income but now it takes both partners and parents to support the whole family leaving no room for house chores and home cooked meals and the most important part of the family the actual parenting of children. But you do get a lot of consumer spending such as buying takeout for dinner and hiring babysitter and and private tutoring and all other kinds of expenses families did not have before. Thanks to Capitalism! 😉

Subarugirl · Answer

No there is noting wrong with it, that's your preference and what works for you. As long as realize how privileged you are now that you get to make that choice and it's because of the woman's right movement that it's something you chose to do instead of being forced.

Though I have to disagree with that first paragraph, being nurturing to your family, take care of house hold tasks, dressing neatly and treating your significant other with love, support and respect are the bare minimums of being a functional adult in a romantic relation.
They aren't feminine traits, those are traits of a well adjusted adult and are neither feminine nor masculine.

Lucy68 · Answer

No it's not. If it makes you feel better when I have kids I'm going to want to become a stay at home mom while my husband goes through work and I'll stay home and take care of both the children and the household. As for feminine I'm extremely girly especially during the spring and summer months. I love tradition and believe it's the key to not only a happy life but also ideal for society. So no it is not wrong at all

wheresmrcunnunglis · Answer

Life is short. Do what makes you happy. Just make sure you have money saved away for a rainy day no matter how good in the moment it feels to be a housewife. Since I feel one of the big cons of being one is lack of income to dip into if, and when, you want to leave.

Then there is the other factor which is what will one do if the relationship ends and they have to support themselves financially? How easy will it be for you to get a job after being out of work for so long due to being a housewife?

Those cons are what would make me never advocate for someone becoming a housewife. As people can become surprisingly cruel once they know you're financially dependent on them ( at their mercy).

SaartjieJane · Answer

I love all that too but to a point, I won't get used and walked all over nor will I be his housekeeper or mother. I'd love to clean the home, make the meals, I wear pretty/girly clothing, soft and loving and so on but women who are soft and will do anything for their partner can also easily get used, I will easily cut someone off if that treats me bad, who doesn't also want to learn to cook/make some meals in the day, someone who won't also clean up after themselves because they could get used to you doing every single little thing and they don't lift a finger.

Honestly you can like and do what you want and if people don't like it then they can buzz off. You're free to have your own likes and dislikes and look for a person to match you.

RavVid · Answer

Why is that being wrong? Feminists bang n about not enough women on the board of Fortune 500 companies but the reality is that very few men get to be on those boards also. It is fairly irrelevant to most of us guys and girls.

Most of us will be wage slaves is the reality. Even if you own and run a small business you are still in that category because you will be doing most of the work. Its not a Big Boss puffing on a cigar while counting his money scenario.

It is a matter for you and your man to work out what suits you both collectively. Why should you jump to other peoples ideas of how to live your life? You shouldn't let the matocracy dictate you life.

I've known woman who had the simple ambition of being a good wife and mother but sadly it hasn't happened for them.

Good luck to you.

Sixgunsound · Answer

I would love it if more women were like you. It’s not a betrayal of anything. Especially not a Marxist front group that hates you to begin with. Your dating pool just added millions of potential men that are worth your time once it gets out that you really are one of the rare few that have finally decided to see the light and do what you actually want without fear of social consequences. I’m so happy for you finally living your best life and allowing yourself to stop pretending to be something you are not. That take a lot of courage.

Iwant2kno · Answer

I don’t think is wrong, I believe that if you do things you love then you create a positive energy with the things you do, then those around you will feel that same energy. So if you enjoy being a housewife, be girly and treat your husband with love…then don’t be afraid of it. People will always talk anyway, so if they will, let them talk about how much you enjoy your life and being yourself dear. 💗

DaisyM23 · Answer

like what you like - yes some people can see this as backward and non-feminist but then they're not really feminist if they don't allow for women to make their own choices for everything you know? as long as you're respecting yourself and not letting someone walk all over you then who cares

Dargil · Answer

Nothing wrong about June Cleaver. When all the woke BS is set aside, most guys want a wife like her.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it's wrong girl, not because of dating expectations but because you're gonna end up being poor, dumb and and unable to survive in a very scary world, if a man leaves you. Times have changed, every individual should know how to get by alone (work, skills, social circles, etc.). Or how do you usually live when you break up, you leech them off all the money on court? Or you leech your parents off? Do you have kids? If not what are you gonna do when a man dumps you with 2 kids on your shoulder, will you then need to find another man asap to be happy and taken care of? I smell natural selection here.

AviatorTom · Answer

You are setting a good example, doing what you want and like to do. The goal of feminism is to empower women to have the opportunity to do what they want to do. Anyone who thinks being a 50s woman is bad doesn't understand what being a feminist is all about.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Nope. You do you. I love a woman that will do things that she likes. I’m just a big believer in, if that’s your way. Be all the way in it. If you believe that a man should be out there providing and stuff like in those days, then don’t think you have equal say in financial decisions and that is your duty to take care of him and his needs, the house and kids… if you work and help take care of things or your portion of things. Then you do have equal say in those decisions. Women make the mistake that it’s a “respect” thing when it comes to that. No, it’s just logical. If you don’t want to have that kind of responsibility, then you don’t get the privilege of having a seat at the table and making those decisions. But you do you girl. This world needs a little more balance of power boss girls and feminine ladies that care deeply about there families.

RealMarek · Answer

It’s not wrong at all, just be aware that the elites who run the US are strongly opposed to it. They want to convince you that your place is in some office working for them. They’re making it more and more difficult for workers, especially men, to clear enough income to support a family, so eventually you might be forced into the workforce. But if you can manage to live off a single income, more power to you.

loveslongnails · Answer

The things you describe and "Women's Rights" are not in conflict with one another. Whoever tells you that they are doesn't understand the things you desire, or what "Women's Rights" is truly all about. There's nothing "wrong" with loving and wanting those things you love.

Pinay_ako · Answer

There’s nothing wrong to want to be feminine or housewife. First of all, you’re a woman. You’re embracing your femininity and that’s good. Being a housewife is not an easy job either. Do whatever makes you happy. You ain’t hurting anyone. 💕

AdithyaR · Answer

Okay so first off, the people who get angry at you for liking that stuff are not progressive feminists.
The whole point of feminism is that you have the freedom to choose. If being traditionally feminine and being housewife is what you like, than you can be it and love that. As long as you're able to do what you like doing, it's fine.

Vesuvius87 · Answer

There's is nothing wrong with doing what you want to with your life. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. Ignore what others say and think. It's not their lives. It's your life.

TheLoneTerran · Answer

I'm pretty sure feminism was about choice. If you choose to be a housewife, then you're fine. But you can choose a career if you so desired and aren't shoehorned into a role. If you enjoy being a housewife and enjoy more feminine aesthetics and it's your choice, then it's all good. It's not "wrong", it's just so you have options other than housewife if you wish.

sage2021 · Answer

In order to be a homemaker and not get a job outside of your home, you must have a man that makes a lot of money! Most couples cannot choose if the wife prefers staying home, they need two salaries to run their household.
So, if you are lucky enough to marry a man with money who will support you, then go for it!

trumpets310 · Answer

The only thing that would be a "betrayal of women's rights" would be to allow other people to tell you what you should be doing with your life! Freedom means that you should be able to choose whatever you want - stay at home, become a doctor, engineer, teacher, etc. Do what you love!

Sonorous · Answer

Wrong? I don't know. Depends on each specific context I guess. I imagine that being a housewife is more dangerous when you don't have a spouse & are have no money in the bank... But if you do... Then how wrong could it be? You're living. That's the goal of life right? You're not directly hurting anyone. Sounds pretty harmless to me.

Seinna · Answer

It doesn't matter, live however you want to live if you're not hurting anybody. It's strange to me that you're looking for approval from other people at your age.

Only problem with that is, it might be difficult to find a man who can support it long term, most men nowadays can't afford a housewife.

Good luck, I hope you can have that life.

hellomellow7 · Answer

No there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’m the same way.. I’d love to stay home with my kids while they’re little and work from home doing stuff like sewing and I’d love taking care of my husband. I hate that people have shamed it and make it sound like the wife is just a lazy person depending on the man.. when there’s really something to say about being a housewife.

RedStealthOperative · Answer

No way is it wrong or setting a bad example for others! Do what makes you happy! Even if the rest of the world is against it. At the end of the day, you gotta be true to yourself.

Zeus_66 · Answer

There is never anything wrong with what a person decides to do and their content to do so. Heck, I wouldn't mind being a house husband myself. Seriously. I'd be the president of the PTA, a soccer dad, chillin at the pool with the other housewives, and would really enjoy being a DILF.

ImJustSomeGuyLol · Answer

No you're not, in fact most of us would ask do you have a sister or cousin who is single 😂

In terms of rights, last time I checked, it was a woman's right to choose what she does as her vocation. If she chooses to work, she can, if she chooses to stay home she can. You have every right to choose this life.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

No, women like you are in short supply and high demand, despite protestations from feminists that men should want nothing more than an independent career wife. Someone should be at home with the kids, whether it be the wife or the husband. Something profoundly sad about kids raised by paid carers and babysitters instead of fully present parents.

altdbob · Answer

Each person likes what they like. Womans rights is not about being a housewife if that is what you enjoy.

by the way if you are not in a political field then what the hell are you worried about setting an example.

Do what feels right from you and stop letting others judge you for your choices.

Jaguarsxr051 · Answer

Not at all that's something holy and great thing you can have career like doctor or whatever good career but that doesn't hold you from being house wife the feminism ass are bunch of broken old psycho shit don't listen to them men need woman woman needs men that's all

Fa1con · Answer

Live the life that works best for you. Sadly this is one aspect of feminist messaging that has gone terribly awry. Women having the right to choose their path in life naturally means they can continue doing everything as traditionally as they please too! Anyone who criticizes you for this is neither a feminist nor an egalitarian.

NobodyXox · Answer

No, just do whatever makes you and your partner feels good. It is nobody's business.

sheikalana · Answer

Not wrong at all. If you're okay with it if that's your passion and your husband agrees that's perfectly fine.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

It’s your preference, as long as you are happy with it and your partner then it’s fine. Also as long as you do not shame or slam those who are not.

personally I would never have that type of person, it’s just not what I like in a relationship.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Nothing wrong with it but I personally think being a 24/7 housewife is a doll and horrible existence.

It's like prison and to me it isn't attractive, besides the fact the immense majority of men around the world can't even afford a housewife to begin with. It's just not practical with reality.

Djaay · Answer

No those are GODS commanded commandments for women who have a spiritual purpose and absolute value unlike those others that protest GODS commandments. Dont worry about those who have a destiny of they're choice to enter the lake of fire. Your example shows your rightuosness and there's nothing that can take that away from you.

one1wild00 · Answer

No, you are doing things"the right way" which with today's society and environment is very difficult to do. Some gals prefer your style others like to be the outgoing version of themselves it's neither right or wrong as a whole, but from what you said it is right for you.

Anonymous · Answer

No, you do you. Mysonginistic men saw house work as lesser than. So second wave feminism addressed this by leaving the housewife role; instead of fighting for the respect that housewives deserved. It was rather shortsighted for feminists to embrace misogyny; but you can't change the past.

007kingifrit · Answer

all the "girl bosses" are going extinct, during the pandemic they learned they really loved being at home with their kids the only happy women are feminine ones.

EmmaMary · Answer

No absolutely not... It's totally your prerogative what you wish and choose to do.

Kumarima · Answer

Você é livre para escolher You are free to choose what you want for your life. What do I or someone else have to do with your life? It would be the same as caring about men who think it's wrong for me to work and have my own business.

WhitneySnow · Answer

You’re not wrong. Girls don’t have to conform to traditional gender roles, but you’re allowed to if you want to.

kuladiamond · Answer

People tell you about how you should not do this or that but honestly? All that matters is that your happy, no need to worry about others thinking you betrayed them, its not their place to tell you what to do with your life.

Hulk30 · Answer

I definitely think that's better than most modern women between the ages of 59 down to 20 what your missin is that career women are actually most beneficial to men more so than the traditional good woman and that's because career women actually get the bag with men even though the behavior of traditional good women is sexy as hell that still pulls men into a situation where they gotta work too hard

AydenHazor · Answer

You are not wrong, no more than a woman who wants to work is wrong, or a man who lives being a house husband is wrong. Each person should be true to themselves.

jshm2 · Answer

You do you, kiddo.  Don't be part of the pack, be part of the party.

hotwife98 · Answer

Not wrong at all. You can do what you like and what you think is best for your life. If you think you offer the most as a housewife then you should be a housewife.

Texasgal95 · Answer

No I don’t think there’s anything wrong with loving that if that’s what you want no ones forcing you to do it that’s all that matters is that you’re happy doing it

TenderFantasy · Answer

It's not wrong at all but you gotta find someone who is OKAY with having only a one income household (OR you could find a remote job that would be an alternative or work at home?).

Stevefiveo · Answer

No, my wife is the same way. Don't worry about what other people think. If it makes you happy, then do it.

Xoirwinkan · Answer

This is one of my biggest reasons for hating feminism. It makes women look down on femininity and makes girls want to act like men. The fact you even have to ask this question is heart-breaking to me. I wish I had a girl like you in my life.

JessicaEarl · Answer

Hell no. Motherhood is more important than any job out there. A fallen society is one that forgets that

Anonymous · Answer

Na your good, just ignore all the negativity from others. This is one of the reasons I dislike feminist and will never become one, they are all about supporting and empowering women to be them selves/who they are unless it's something they disagree with then they viciously attack.

LilyoftheLake · Answer

Not at all! Since I was very young, I had a similar desire... My plans went out the window, but being a housewife is still one of my greatest goals!

Panzer21 · Answer

No you are not wrong. Its your life, no one else's. If other women and soyboys are calling you a traitor, tell them to suck one and mind their own business. you're probably happier than they are.

Jamesshinobi · Answer

absolutely not. you are probably much more important to your family then you would be working a "normal" job. my wife works. she doesn't make enough money to male it worth it because none of the housework or other family meed is getting handled.

Is it wrong to love being a housewife and feminine?

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Is it wrong to want to be a house wife?

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Is it wrong to want to be a house wife?

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