"Men care about a woman's past; women care about a man's future." Your thoughts on this quote?

[Anonymous]

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+1 y

I've heard variations of this said before and have wondered what exactly it means, although I believe i have a working understanding of it.

[Staximus]

If they are looking for more than just sex, it's true. When it comes to looking for future husbands, most women are more concerned with what a man can do for her or provide for her before she even worries about if he has a history of being a piece of shit. Sometimes they will even ignore that history. When it comes to looking for future wives, most men are more worried about if the woman is a good person or not, will be a good mother, is not the former town tramp or drug addict, etc.

Let's say you surveyed a hundred random women. Women who were looking for a future husband, not previously divorced, and had never experienced problems with a significant other being violent, drunk, or on drugs. You give them their choice between 3 guys that they find equally physically attractive. One guy is a mechanic, doesn't make a lot of extra cash but can pay his bills, is not in debt (besides the mortgage), but is a good guy with no shady past. Guy #2 is a famous rockstar or actor, can't stay off hard drugs, always cheats on his girlfriends eventually because women flock to him for that rockstar\Hollywood image\status bullshit. Third guy is a rich doctor, big house, nice car, but has a drinking problem and got arrested for getting drunk and beating his wife 10 years ago. Let's say these women know all that. They can pick one guy. Which guy is going to get the least picks and come in last place with most of the women? The mechanic. Every fucking time, unless the woman's ex was on drugs, a mean drunk, cheat on or beat on her. Most women are like dumb teenagers, they have to learn the hard way before they figure out how to pick a good guy.

[OlderAndWiser]

The best predictor of a person's future behavior is ther past behavior, so both sexes should care about their partner's past.

[Asker]

Well, yeah, that is true, but I think the quotes above seem to talk about a specific thing or distinction between men and women.

[melanieeeB]

I would agree, I can't count how often I had dudes trying to dig in my past and critics me, trying to put me in some stupid "boxes" based on my past and me asking about their goals, dreams and ambitions in life smh

My first ex was the first man who didn't give a shit about my past and made clear that your past does not define who you're now, like yeah we learn from our past but we grow as a person too

[Asker]

Well, we don't all learn from our past, nor do we all grow as a person from it. Also, I'm not saying you're saying or implying this, but just because someone doesn't care about your past doesn't mean they are suddenly or automatically a good person, nor does it mean they don't care about your past because of honorable, noble, just, or good reason.

[melanieeeB]

Oh no I wasn't implying that but it was definitely nice having once someone who cared about me now, instead of immediately wanting to get everything out of my past

[Asker]

Well, you can want to be transparent and upfront fast and still care about someone. I just think maybe those men you were with didn't want to invest, waste time, and more with another woman they didn't approve of so they needed to know certain things about you so that they could feel more comfortable spending time with you, living with you, paying for you, being intimate with you, etc.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Like the saying that says, men want to be her first, but women want his last.

I've heard that one before too.

I care about it all, past, present and future. We both need to and should be honest about sharing our pasts, how we are doing currently and what our future plans our.

The quote is loosely accurate in the most basic way. As both parts are true but don't cover the whole picture.

[MzAsh]

I think If you’re a mature person, it’s not going to be this black and white.

[Asker]

Oh, I agree it isn't always black and white.

[TrippyStarry]

These quotes aim to excuse male behavior. Little do they understand, if men are racking up a body count, they are probably doing it with women who also rack up a big count. If men care about women being “pure” or whatever, then they need to clean up their act.

[Asker]

I don't think these quotes are aiming to do that. I think they are highlighting a difference between men and women.

Also, what exactly do you mean by "they need to clean up their act" in reference to men caring about women being pure?

[TrippyStarry]

Specific differences contrasted in a way to justify why one gender can sleep around while the other must stay pure. This is what this contrast aims to do and let’s not pretend otherwise. We’ve heard them a million times before. Men do it and they’re called studs but when women do the exact same and now they’re sluts. Studs make sluts and they have no right to then complain about it. If you don’t like it then you need to tell men to stop sleeping around. The Muslim community is famous for this. Perhaps a page of that book needs to be taught to the rest.

[bamesjond0069]

This is nonsense women logic. If I don't go out tonight and bang a slut then... I will meet a virgin to date tomorrow instead? No. If I don't bang a slut tonight then just someone else bangs the same slut tonight. It doesn't change anything. It's just a poor attempt at a shaming tactic y'all women use.

[TrippyStarry]

@bamesjond0069 You’re the reason why women no longer wait till marriage. At least you could be honest though because most guys don’t own up to how much they are the cause of all this.

[bamesjond0069]

Only women are at fault because only women decide when to lose their virginity. When women are legal property, owned by their fathers until they are owned property of the husband. Then you can say men are at fault for whatever outcome happens. But it is 100% women and only women's fault for being sluts and nobody going to sit around and let other men have all the fun that's going to be had one way or another anyways.

[TrippyStarry]

@bamesjond0069 Thanks for letting the world know how much of a pig people are who hold your opinion. I bet you’ll have a tremendously happy life, you miserable sorry excuse of a life.

[bamesjond0069]

Why wouldn't I have a happy life? So far I've been having a blast.

[DaisyM23]

I think that's quite true, I mean it can go both ways but overall I feel like most women look more towards the future in terms of security whilst men care more about a woman's past but that could just be generalising

[bamesjond0069]

Women give zero shits about a man's past if they have a good future.

You know how many girls say "I don't want a man who is a player or sleeps around" well quite a few. And then you know how many dump me when I tell them "I was a stripper, I'm in pornos, I've been with over 200 women I can't even remember them all" zero. None. I've never once had a girl dump me.

So honestly it's bullshit.

[jshm2]

It's just bullshit opinion trying to masquerade itself as marriage insight.

You can't make a housewife out of a whore, sure. But "family" is more than just a marriage certificate and buying an asset together.

[Adaeva]

As I understand it, a man wants to be a woman's first; a women wants to be a man's last. I suppose that similar enough to make both statements true.

[NathanDavis]

way too simplistic... therefore not accurate at all

you just can't have one without the other... not if you want to make pertinent decision making

[MCheetah]

Nah, I disagree. I care about her past, present, and future.

[Avicenna]

Women definitely care about a man’s past and present.

[Nomina]

I care about a man's past and his future. And care about creating a lineage and securing provision. I care about all of those things.

[Apple1996]

Both genders seem to care about past and future with their partners

[Asker]

They do most certainly, but do you think the quotes above are pointing to a more specific distinction between men and women?

[Apple1996]

Nah not really. Like I think women might judge someone's past less then men but still is a important factor when it comes to dating to know their past

[Asker]

Why would you think women might judge someone's past less than men?

[Apple1996]

Women in general are less judgmental

[AviatorTom]

It's wrong. Both partners care about the future, with a look at the past as a partial indicator of what might happen in the future.

[Chthou95]

It's very true. Women dont want a man that doesn't have anything going for him later on in life and mem dont want a woman with a past. Specifically a woman with a sexual past. Men and women want different things

[_Troian_]

Ye its true, I won't find her valuable enough to date if she slept with a lot of guys in her past.

[Kingofkings1992]

I mean… not really. That’s way oversimplified. If you’re smart, you care about both regardless of your gender.

[linka_pat307]

Absolutely correct

[Anonymous]

A lot of truth in this.

[Asker]

Why do you think so?

[Opinion Owner]

Biology maybe. You think about soceity before the pill and feminism.

[LiamJHayden]

Overly simplistic.

[OddBeMe]

Women’s past as in how much dick been in her?