Age and relationships?

[Anonymous]

Many people agree that, for example, it is perfectly fine for a 30 yr old to date a 34 year old. Why do some people feel I (17f) shouldn’t be with a 21 year old male assuming our state laws permit it?

[Finchie40]

If the state law permits it , then I don’t see anything wrong with it , Age is really just a number It’s the chemistry and connection that matters so if they both are happy that’s all that matters , fuck what other people think , most people just like to try to rub their 2 cents together not realizing how much of an idiot they sound by judging other people , no matter what we do in life , their will always be judge mental people that really don’t have a clue and only really think of themselves , if you take that judge mental person and put them in the shoes of that couple , they would be fine with it cuz it’s ok for them , but not ok for someone else , Why I always say when you get into a relationship with someone it’s best to make you and your partner your top priority over everyone , it’s you and your partner VS this fucked up world we live in. Remember that because that’s the only way love grows between 2 people , if you allow other people to interfere in your relationship and allow other people to fill negative energy into your head , the chances of your relationship surviving becomes very slim

[smashleyy]

4 year age gap isn’t much but 20 dating a 24 yr old can be completely different than 17 and 21. I find mid to late teens is a perfect time to willingly turn yourself into a victim in a relationship without realizing it. You're at that awkward age about to become legal and you feel and want to be treated as mature/grown but don’t have much real world life experience to help navigate through the bullshit. I’m the perfect example as to why a lot of people look down at age gap relationships in teens. I first came into contact with my ex when I was 14 and he was 18. We first linked and started hooking up when I was a few months shy of 16 (illegal). He asked me to be his girlfriend ON my 16th birthday. Legal age of consent? Yes. Still weirdo behaviour? Yes. We went on to date till a month after I turned 18. So far that period I spent with him has been the worse experience of my life. The relationship was filled with manipulation, suicide threats, love bombing, trauma bonds, etc. I let that relationship turn me into a shell of a person and wasted good years I’ll never get back cause I chose to be wrapped around a man’s finger. I had a very similar view as you do now, no one could tell me what to do I felt that I knew what I wanted and that I could handle myself and didn’t need opinions of others cause they just didn’t understand. My intention of this ramble isn’t to project my abusive relationship onto you and your man. After all you are not me and he is not my ex. But I do know every other girl in and around my age that was also in age gap relationships experienced similar abuse to mine. You’re gonna do what you want but just be mindful that you are young and probably naive and that puts you in a vulnerable position of someone older taking advantage.

[ShellyB]

There is a big difference between those ages, the difference gets smaller over time, I am not saying it can never work, but I would really question why a 21yo guy would want to date a 17yo girl, for the right reasons. In ten years when he is 31 and she is 27 that is no problem, not even worth talking about. It is not the age difference in years it is how long each has been an adult if they have even reached adulthood. JMO good luck!

[Finchie40]

If the state law permits it , then I don’t see anything wrong with it , Age is really just a number It’s the chemistry and connection that matters so if they both are happy that’s all that matters , fuck what other people think , most people just like to try to rub their 2 cents together not realizing how much of an idiot they sound by judging other people , no matter what we do in life , their will always be judge mental people that really don’t have a clue and only really think of themselves , if you take that judge mental person and put them in the shoes of that couple , they would be fine with it cuz it’s ok for them , but not ok for someone else , Why I always say when you get into a relationship with someone it’s best to make you and your partner your top priority over everyone , it’s you and your partner VS this fucked up world we live in. Remember that because that’s the only way love grows between 2 people , if you allow other people to interfere in your relationship and allow other people to fill negative energy into your head , the chances of your relationship surviving becomes very slim

[Qdbrown]

Age gap is a big deal when are young. After 25, it's not unusual to see 10 to 15 year gaps.

Back when I was in high school, girls were dating all the guys within a few years of each other. But the moment they graduated, many disappeared.

When they became adults, and moved out of their parent's home, the sea opened up, and those same girls were now dating 20-25 year old guys. Many who had almost okay jobs, an apartment or rental and nice car.

While their younger male friends who they use to date, were just entering college, or getting a job, those guys only had a smaller group of women to date, and that often meant dating the girls back at high school who were barely or not quite legal.

[RagnarRedbeard]

For the same reason people would have a problem with you, a 17 year old, dating a 13 year old.

The mental difference between 13 to 17 is big. There’s also quite a mental difference between 17 and 21. The mental difference between 30 and 34 is small.

You might believe yourself to be mature for your age, and think that you know better -we all do at 17. But then we get older and realise that we were still kids then.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Because a horny 21 year old can get you pregnant faster and would not take responsibility and disappear.

14 years to 17 years girls used to get teen pregnancy and a lot of cases as such.

And most left highschool or college so keeping those in mind they made certain rules to stop it.

[gorydetails]

That's correct. a 30-year-old and a 34-year-old are in similar stages in life. They're full adults, they have jobs, etc. A 17 year old can't even get into a bar, a 21 year old can consume alcohol. The 17 year old is still in high school, the 21 year old is almost done with college.

When you were 16, would you date a 12 year old boy? That's only a 4 year difference, too.

[Uzi777]

I'm 42 years old but look 20 still.

I get hit on by guys decades younger than me.

So it goes without saying I experience the other side of this question.

[Berethor]

Because age gap matters more when you young, look at the age-gap romance trope.

[TacosRAwesome]

For me it depends on whether the 17 year old is in uni (or college) or highschool. Also the legalities.

[JSmuve]

Because the guy will undeservedly be viewed as predatory and you're viewed as being too young to be able to make your own decisions.

[Keishio]

Maturity level between 17 and 21 is a lot different than 30 and 34

[Dreamer_xo]

I’m 26 my boyfriend is 40 I feel perfectly fine and he treats me perfectly

[pewter_moon]

You are forgetting the maturity factor.

[_Just_A_girl_]

date anyone if its legal above 18

[Wise4myage]

Because you are still considered under age.

[Anonymous]

You're a minor and he isn't.