Does age matter in a relationship?

Question

Jean-Marie_Céline · Accepted Answer

Good question, thank you for asking it.
Age matters on the contexts of legal age of consent; and in difference of expectations and needs when it comes to age gaps.
Naturally people in different age ranges will be going through different phases in ther lives, and this may result in disagreements and even arrested developments.
That said, when the people in the relationship are wise and conscentious, the age gap becomes a non issue and they can work out their differences and attune just fine!
Two examples -
A woman I know got together with her husband when she was 20 and he was 32. Now they are respectively 51 and 63, and their marriage is happy and full of satisfactions!
On the contrary, my mother was 16 when she got together with my father, who was 34-35 at the time. This resulted in a slew of problems and issues that are still hard to fix some 27 years later.

bamesjond0069 · Accepted Answer

You found a picture of me in the future, how you do that? Lol.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Yes, age differences can be a problem, not because of the age itself, but because of the differences that correlate with age:

1. Do you want to have babies and he doesn't?
2. Are you ready to settle down, buy a house, get a dog, etc. and he just wants a new skateboard or PlayStation?
3. Do you prefer the Beatles and she listens to rap?
4. Does she like to go out clubbing and you like to spend time with your relatives?
5. Does he want to "do it" three times a day and you really feel that three times a week should be sufficient?
etc.

Of course, people can have differences on these kinds of issues even if they are the same age, but it becomes more likely as the age difference expands.

IronLady6354 · Answer

I have an interesting take on this. For starters I'm happily married to a guy 16 years younger than me. I'd never have ever dreamed I'd ever be with a guy so much younger. I'd assume he'd be far too immature, non-committal, irresponsible, not in a compatible place in life as myself, wouldn't have compatible life goals, and certainly wouldn't be ready to be a stepdad to my two daughters. It took a while for my husband to convince me to give him a chance because I was so concerned about how much younger he was. However, when I did give him a real chance I found out all those assumptions I'd made about him were wrong. He was very responsible and very mature (more so than my ex who is 5 years older than me). He was very ready and willing to be committed (a little sooner than I was comfortable with actually. haha). He was in a different place in life in that he was a single grad student and I was a single mom with an established career, but that ended up not really being a problem. His life goals were very compatible with mine. In fact, the fact he was younger might have been beneficial in that area because I still wanted to have more kids. I also think that since he was so much younger it was a lot easier for me to get pregnant (and have healthy babies) since I was getting younger sperm as opposed to older sperm. He's also a better dad to my daughters than their actual dad. So I 100% believe there are many situations where age doesn't matter.
HOWEVER
I think my husband is very much the exception and not the rule. Most men that much younger than me are all the things I was concerned about. He was just the exception. So most of the time I think age does matter because of what it reflects. However, I also think there are many pretty common exceptions to this rule.

Aguysopinion4799 · Answer

Yes, age is a very important factor to consider when thinking about a relationship or even taking an interest in someone, you want to make sure that what you are doing is LEGAL and also socially acceptable.

For example, I would have absolutely no issues with a 30 year old and a 40 year old dating, they are adults and both mature, the age gap feels small.

Second example, I would not be okay with a 10 year old dating a 20 year old because one is a complete mature adult and the 10 year old is completely different in every way.

I think different countries have different age limits for when someone is classed as an adult but I think in England it is at 18, so I would say that an age difference of maybe an 18 and a 23 year old would not be the worst, it would still be kind of weird to me though.

But once you become older, age differences become less of a matter, they are only a matter till you are 20 or more, after that you more in a safe zone to date in bigger gaps, not that I ever plan on, I want to be with someone as close to my own age as possible :)

DJB72 · Answer

Yes and no.

A massive age gap can cause problems for the couple. Friendship circles are unlikely to intersect. That can cause problems for support. An older man is not judged as harshly as an older woman - not sure why - yet the younger woman is judged more harshly.

Society suggests serious double standards of acceptable gaps too. A guy can get away with a girl 20 years his junior once he hits around 55, but a 55 year old woman is looked down on if she dates a guy of 25.

What's truly important is the relationship between the two people who are actually IN the relationship.

I have a friend I trust absolutely who is 26 years younger than me. I love her (platonic folks, not romantic) and my life is certainly richer by her presence. We have very little in common, however. Despite having been the chronological age she is now in the same approximate geographical area, I was never "her age". When I was 23 in my social group friends with benefits was unheard of. There was no Internet yet and even texting was in its infancy. In our friendship these things don't matter. If I were single, despite having a great rapport with her and thinking she's gorgeous, I doubt I'd ask her out. Our life experience is too different.

My wife and I are from very different cultural backgrounds. I'm English and she's South African. That's a difficult enough difference. If I added a 20 year age gap as well my head would explode - and not in a good way.

You need something in common (one big thing or several little ones) if you're going to build a successful relationship. I'm not saying it's impossible without, but it's much, MUCH harder.

Finchie40 · Answer

Only to the people that are not in the relationship , the judge mental bastards that have no clue what they are talking about. But honestly No age doesn’t matter in a relationship, The chemistry and connection is what matters , if I see a beautiful girl and we make eye contact and we strike up a conversation and we both enjoy each other’s conversation and we are hitting it off is what matters , if the topic of age comes up later during the conversation and we find out we have a age gap it doesn’t mean all of a sudden I am not going to like her , I would straight up tell her age doesn’t bother me , if it did, then that would of been the first question I asked her

wingattebaby16 · Answer

In America, YES, age difference is a big cultural thing.

My man is 19yo older than me. I catch sh*t all the time from my dad and my sisters, yet my dad is almost 25yrs older than my mom.

In the Philippines, where my family is mostly from, age difference is not an issue. So many women in their early 20's or 30's are married to men 50-60yo...

Really, it depends on the couple, their personalities, their health, their outlook on life.

I am 27yo and my man will be be 46yo in May. He looks late 30's.. and I am told i like mid 30's, mostly coz i have had a hard life and Life has beaten me up.

ohshee · Answer

I guess it depends if your asking the 2 people in the relationship or 10 people at the same time ,, the 2 people in the relationship are fine with it that's the reason why they're in one, but then the other eight people have opinions initiate their way I personally believe that it's between the two people they're in the relationship nobody else sometimes when two people get together that are different ages it clicks so good it's unreal there are times when two people get together in a relationship where you know there's not going to work because of the maturity level I think the older you get age does matter who is older better women there should be a plan if I was to date a younger girl when I hit a certain age I'm not heard start thinking about Louboutin because I don't want anybody taking care of me I filled it feel as if they have to take care of is the last thing I would want to do is hold somebody back in life

caring__1 · Answer

Apparently it does to many, or women wouldn't pick guys based on their age. I have a profile on a seniors dating site, and 98% of the women who reach out to me there are younger than my son, even though I specifically state I'm not interested in anyone more than a decade on either side of my age. Age is just a number, but people who choose partners based on irrelevant qualities such as age or boob size or financial worth fail to look at the bigger picture so they can choose quality, compatible partners. How would you feel if your ideal partner rejected you because you were 1/4" too short? As long as people promote irrelevant issues, relevant issues will be overlooked.

Jjpayne · Answer

It does a little for different reasons, some want those that are mature and wealthy, others want those that can relate to them and how they grew up, others want someone that they can be youthful enough to have babies with, while others are simply looking for companionship. It's honestly all across the board

RingOfFire · Answer

I think that any consenting relationship between two adults that makes them happy is a good thing. Age, race, gender, wealth, class, social status, career... all of these things are superficial.

It's hard enough to find love in this world. If you have to limit yourself to options that satisfy some artificial social mandate instead of following your heart, you risk living a life in which you never experience true love.

It's your life not theirs. Love who you love and don't let anyone cheat you out of it.

Grape-Soda · Answer

It shouldn't but to most it does. It matters a lot when you are younger but after mid 20s to early 30s it's not much of a deal. I know very shallow immature older people and some very young people who are pretty together. Unfortunately for me I look very young for my age but I don't find many women close to my age attractive.

Philyouup · Answer

tough question. i date a girl significantly younger. she fulfills a need of being needed and being looked up to. As i fulfill a need in her , some one to care for her, give affection and a sense of need as
well. is it healthy? I don't know. We both agree it’s the best sex either of has had. will it progress? i don’t think so, it will always be physical. would it be that way with every young woman? I don't know. everyone is different.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

To a point, after that not at all.

also you see things about yeah but too big a cap nothing in common.

Then you find people with 20 years gap, have running, online gaming, mountain biking, music, travel, etc in common.

i would hazard most 35-40 year olds know more about gaming than younger etc.

a lot is purely state of mind

slatyb · Answer

Of course it matters. There are advantages and disadvantages to having an older partner. A person with a much older partner is likely to see their partner's death, and will then be single in mid-life. OTOH older people tend to have more maturity and patience but less energy than younger people.

ChattyGuy43 · Answer

Age is just a number in my book, there's only 3 years difference between my wife 40 and me at 43.
My biggest age gape in a relationship was 13 years when I was 31 & my girlfriend who was 18.

As long as there is love there, it shouldn't really matter

worldscolide · Answer

I think it would to me.. I have a range back when I was dating. No older than 5 years older than me, no younger that 10 years younger than me..

The_Maphio · Answer

Depends. If we are talking a hadful or ten years apart, no problem.  If one of the partners could be the other's dad or mom age wise, I smell opportunism or mental issues.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Age of consent, aging (as in loss of health), and generation gaps (as in interest and hobby differences), all matter, but like a 1-10 year gap between adults usually doesn't have to matter if they are similar mentally.

DaveToo · Answer

Well, let me present this scenario. I'll be 76 in July. According to GaG, you are 32. That makes me 12 years more than double your age. I have PTSD, a damaged shoulder from small arms fire, and a damaged hip from shrapnel I got from a mortar round, both in Vietnam. I've had a TURP, and therefore, no longer ejaculate sperm. No more kids for me. I'm on Social Security and a small annuity to survive on.

The question is, would any of that matter if you got to know me and fell in love?

Arabella_Rose · Answer

Studies have proven that the larger the age gap, the more likely the marriage will end in divorce. The larger the age gap, the less likely the couple would be able to emotionally connect and relate to each other.

So for the dumbasses who say that age doesn’t matter , IT DOES

OddBeMe · Answer

Teens dating older people does. Having experience or maturity and taking advantage of those who lack them matter.

DocJones · Answer

I don't think age matters in a relationship as long as it doesn't involve a minor that is much younger. And as far as the much older wealthy guy dating the much younger hot girl is concerned... why not if each is getting what they want out of the relationship.

Bean2thousand · Answer

If she's Ok with me stopping after 10 minutes to take a breath, or with me pulling off the side of the road to let me pee in the woods when my prostate gland starts malfunctioning, and with looking at my dad bod when we go to the beach, oh and when my balls start sagging, then I'm ok with her sitting around sending emojis to her friends all day.

llcanon · Answer

it all depends on many factors: example ones health including sexual health. Next income- some of those rich want noting to do with someone from the poorer side of the tracks. Next age has a lot to do with sex- older man at a ages can'y perform and woman gets cheated or they make life style change-not always possible. So there are many factors to consider.

jerdanro · Answer

I think ut depends. The picture you included looks like a suger daddy thing. I guess that's fine if that's what they want. I dated a woman in her 20s when I was 40 and it was fine because we had a lot in common. And she was a grown woman. I'd date someone in their 30s now.

Vickymoore9 · Answer

No I don’t think so as long it’s not a child with an adult it should matter. I got my young stud he four years younger 😜

lovelornlady1207 · Answer

Yes, to an extent. Me, for example, I’m in my early 40’s. I could and would never date anyone a lot younger than me. I may date someone who’s no more than 5 years younger. Conversely, I could also never date anyone who’s too old for me. Just way too different. We have different wants and needs. Sometimes an age difference can be unreasonable.

Steinkopf · Answer

Age becomes irrelevant over time. A 35 year old with a 20 year old girlfriend is dangerous since he has much more experience/power/money. However a 55 yo with a 40 yo is much more compatible.

Anpu23 · Answer

To a point. There is a plint where the couple has little in common

sammy1999 · Answer

depends on the people not to me i ve been with a 50 yro and had a great time

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

Nope. When I was in my 20s I dated some women in their 50s. Though now that I’m older, I prefer not to deal with anyone under 30.

Myk13 · Answer

To a point. Anything is possible. You just need to have enough in common.

Leavesbound · Answer

if both are at or above the age of consent then theirs is the most important opinion. How family feels can affect ones life though.

Titanic1912 · Answer

Sometimes age does matter. My mom and dad have a 7 year difference. Elvis and Pricilla had a 12 year difference. Since I’m 25 right now, I’d say someone between 22-26 is okay.

scott04sa22 · Answer

No my ex girlfriend 36F only dates 60 or 70 year old dudes 🤢

Waldoe · Answer

it matters to some people, but not to others, it's called "Free choice"

Shihab91 · Answer

depends for me i want kids so i need a woman younger than 30

Pogi-Paddy-2 · Answer

I don't subscribe to the age gap because love sees no colour, religion or age.☯️

obtuseocelot · Answer

If the feds want to talk to you about it, definitely.

princeofromance · Answer

No, Age is nothing more than a number. All that matters is that you truly love your partner.

msc545 · Answer

Only if one person is under 18 and the other isn't.

Avicenna · Answer

Hahaha, no! It’s about compatibility...

Zygum · Answer

Yes, old person cannot perform like Young in all fields of life

karaspara · Answer

As long as it’s not a huge age gap or a illegal one then I would say no

Devlaw5 · Answer

As long as it’s lawful, in my opinion, no. Ofcourse in every relationship there are other factors to consider.

Memeityy · Answer

Less than an 18 year difference. That's a good rule in my opinion.

Ashwin0319 · Answer

No not at all. It's completely about the individual choice.

soe11 · Answer

Age doesn't matter, health is matter between two, if he can handle her desire fine.

genericname85 · Answer

of course it does. live experience and personal development are a thing.

robocop666 · Answer

sadly yes. I saw a man on youtube who at 66 looked 45 and claimed it was awkward for him. he said lying does not work and this bothers women when they find out his age.

Pexah · Answer

According to one of my ex girl friends who is 2 years older. Yes. Maybe because she was 21 and into alcohol and I was never into alcohol because I played baseball. I thought she was smart.

ahmed_uzurbaitov · Answer

In relationshi you want to have little chidren, if woman too yong or old she have no baby so no point, if you relationship is only for sex maybe rethink your life choiuces

Whitewater98 · Answer

I have dated 13 years younger she was 19, and 16 years older she was 56. Both were good fun and as still friends with both 15 years later. So I don’t think age is an issue

zagor · Answer

In some cases yes. 12 year olds shouldn't be forced to marry like they are in some countries.

LogicBomber · Answer

Only when the male is older and the girl is less than 30... then other women lose their shit.

loveslongnails · Answer

That would depend entirely on the type of relationship, wouldn't it?

AmeerX · Answer

Not for me but to consummate a marriage with her I would wait for appropriate age

monkeynutts · Answer

When I’m 68, and banging a 25 year old I’ll probably be inclined to say no.

bannacookies · Answer

As long as both are consenting adults, no.

EmotionOfFear · Answer

My girl is older but I'm more mature, and I have more experience. So, past the legal age? No.

Does age matter in a relationship?

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