Do you agree with Gary North that most bullying occurs in middle school and that bullying is the fault of the victims parents?

[Adaeva]

How I Would Deal With a Bully If I Were in Middle School Again. https://www.garynorth.com/public/9367.cfm

[SoIcyGang]

He didn't say the fault is the victims parents. The way he uses "fault" is not the same as we think of when it's someone's "fault."

I actually read it, unlike other commentors clearly.

He says if he was being bullied and nobody was stopping the bully, he would go to school, sign in in a sense, and leave.

He would force all of the adults in the system (school, police, parents) to recognize the bullying and make it stop, or else he will refuse to comply with the system by going to class and performing in school.

I agree with him. I think it's a great strategy.

But I fear for the child smart enough to do this. I have seen too clearly that adults FEAR the idea that a child "gets one over" on them. Basically, the bullied child is most likely going to be disbelieved and labeled a bad kid rather than for adults to stop and listen and see the child is being bullied.

Bullied kids are basically fucked.

[Adaeva]

Clearly the best reply and I agree that you may be the only one that read it.

[crossdressingrihno]

And you basically described how i became a revenge junkie.

[Lionman95]

I read what he wrote and to me that sounds unrealistic an adult more like an adult than like a teen. A second point I´m sceptical is that uploading a Youtube video or telling a reporter of the local news would help you in that case since he makes it look like that´s only working positive for you. But that´s not necessarily it could also become a problem since it could get you negative and unwanted reactions like being charged by the school for being in a bad light. People could increase bullying also in areas outside of school.

His tactic might sound good in principle but I don´t think it´s working out in reality so I disagree with him.

[Adaeva]

I'm sure his strategy would work. However, it may be too involved for most parents, let alone teens.

[Lionman95]

I think it´s unrealistic because you need a lot of self confident and resilience to make it work something at least I and other kids I know didn´t have. Another point that´s connected is that I doubt that loading a video on Youtube or wherever on social media would go viral. If anyone watches it probably works against the bullied kid because it gives literally anyone else a bad reputation. But I doubt that it´ll get more than a couple thousands clicks.

[Adaeva]

All of what you say is probably true. His strategy is far to involved and complex for even 80% of adults; let alone teens.

[itsalyssaagain]

No and no.


I was mostly bullied in primary school (I believe that’s elementary school). It certainly had nothing to do with my parents who are actually very kind to me.


It had to do with the fact that some kids were mean, and were taught to be mean to others to feel good about themselves. And I was picked on because I was a quiet and shy kid. Just an easy target for them.


Actually I went through a horrible time as a kid because of that. It’s one of the reasons why I’m so outspoken now and if people know better than to try me because I CAN be a bitch if I need to be :)

[LovingJo]

What on earth? 🤨🤦🏻‍♀️

No!! It's the bully's fault, and their mentality.. Which in theory will stem back from their influences from their parents!! 💯

I seriously don't know how people exist with this type of thinking 🤦🏻‍♀️

[LovingJo]

Thanks for the MHO 😘

[MrOracle]

I would agree that it seems to peak (in volume) during middle school/junior high, but bullying has lots of blame to spread around. The kids involved share some blame, as do both sets of parents (for different reasons), as does the school.

Typically, schools don't punish the bullies as long as the victims don't fight back, but they will definitely punish the victims when they do fight back. Been there, done that. I think that's incredibly wrong, but it's the norm.

Still, the best way to stop bullying is to fight back, immediately from the first time, even if the school punishes you. Because ultimately, you will only be able to count on yourself in the long run, so the sooner bullies know that bullying is costly, the sooner they will leave you alone.

[Adaeva]

I have never been bullied because lots of guys will defend popular pretty girls. However, if I was bullied, it would probably be by girls. If just verbal, I would ignore it. If physical, would make a police report and give a written report to principal and have him sign a copy.
If the principal and the police did nothing, I would attempt to speak to ringleader of the girl's parents. I would tell them the police and principal have done nothing. I will try to avoid you daughter. If I see her coming down the street, I will cross the street. If in the schools hallway, I will walk to a wall until she passes. However, I have purchased a pint of concentrated sulfuric acid, and she attacks me one more time when she is sitting at her desk, I will throw 2 ounces in her face. If it gets in her eyes, it will blind her. I may eat through her eyelids. In an event she will be scared for life. Since the school and the police did nothing, my defense will be self-defense. Even if I'm sent to reform school until I'm 18, reform school is better than being bullied. I would also verbally tell the principal the same thing.

[Marked_Man]

I don't know, but I do wonder about the parents. A beautiful middle school girl from New Jersey committed suicide last month after being bullied and savagely beaten in her school. It was caught on camera and kids cheered it on, yet nobody not the school or the parents did anything even after she came home bloody and bruised.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11787443/Adriana-Kuch-Teen-attacker-hit-additional-charge-conspiracy-commit-aggravated-assault.html

[bamesjond0069]

I can't speak for the best way for girls to deal with bullies. I'd say by getting better social skills would be my guess but I can speak for boys.

Anytime I was ever bullied be it by more than one or by a much larger guy immediately upon being touched in an aggressive way ie pushed, slapped, punched... I'd immediately just swing in their face full force punch or on one occasion I was holding a 2x4 and I hit him upside the head with it.

Bullies go for easy targets even if they can beat you, they never come back and nobody else wants to try it either.

So for boys, they are pussy ass little bitches who listen to women, like their mom or a school teacher who says never be violent. When I will teach my own sons to always be very violent in self defense every time.

[Adaeva]

That works or at least, according to my great-grandfather, it did more than 70 years ago. When he was in grade school, Jeff, a boy he knew, hit another boy over the head with an iron pipe and the word went out, "Better leave Jeff alone. He'll hurt you."

[bamesjond0069]

Yeah. Worked for me too. The reason why bullying is such a big deal these days is because the average boy is raised to be a wimp and so now all these boys are ripe bully targets. When in the past there were far less me who are just going to sit there and let you kick dirt in their face.

[sage2021]

Usually bullying a person makes them a victim. A lot of them, at some point, go and seek a therapist to be able to deal with it.
But here's what I say. Why doesn't the bully get sent to a therapist (by the school) to find out what is it about THEM that makes them a bully and get them to understand themselves better and stop bullying.

[lightbulb27]

I saw it start in elementary but worse in middle school.

I don't blame the victim, but I do think all families have responsibility to have open communication and push back so their kid is safe. Bullying, hurting, poor communication, poorly disciplined kids... all happening daily. Worse now with cyber activity. Kids that don't have available parents... by available, I mean very open communication, are at deep risk in this society.

School is a mess due to lack of discipline.

[abc3643]

No of course not.

Bullying is rooted in power.

Those who have power use it and abuse it.

You don't want to be bullied?
Get power on your own.

Get bit by a radioactive spider like Spider-Man.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/8tlN_y-QnFE

[Sleeper07]

No. I was bullied just for standing out in freshman year of high school. I was different, and people just hated that. Why did they hate that? Because I was the only guy who asked the hottest girl in class out for lunch many times.

Also I was wicked smart for my age, skipped several grades of math and science.

[Exterminatore]

Bullies only seem to understand strength. The way my generation handled that was to kick some ass, which typically worked. These days you’ll probably end up in trouble instead of the bully, so not advisable.


I don’t know if any way to effectively handle a bully otherwise in a lasting and meaningful way.

[Anonymous]

I like his solution. Tell the principal to fix the problem. If the principal won't do that, demand the school send you to a private school.

[Adaeva]

How wonderful. If only that would work.

[Opinion Owner]

Private schools are cheaper than wasteful government schools. In Seattle they will be closing public schools next year. It's because students aren't coming back after Covid. The government makes money based on how many students they have. In your article it said that schools aren't kicking the bullies out, because they don't want to lose the money. Fine, then rally for all the victims to leave the worthless schools. Then write emails to every governor in the country, every mayor in the country, every school superintendent of a school district in the country, every principal in the country, and tell them that government schools aren't providing a safe atmosphere for students, and they're knowingly harboring bullies.
Add that it's the job of government to provide safe education, and if they refuse, the state should offer school choice/vouchers so the victims can go to safe private schools. There are currently 14 states that offer school vouchers, and it should be all 50 states.

[Adaeva]

If only governments would listen but they don't.

[Opinion Owner]

Send the email to every TV, news paper, and radio station in the country. Blast it on all social media, and name names. And they don't have to listen. Leave school and they will lose their money. Start a movement and get more victims to leave school and join your cause.

[Snakeyes7]

The victim's parents are vat fault in so far as they ignore the fact that their child is being bullied when the chords made them aware of that fact.

The real fault lies with the bully's parents because there is something they are doing that has been teaching their children.

[Drdeeznuts1132]

I might agree with that whole-heartedly. Hindsight is always 2020 right?

[FunkyMonkee]

Not in the least!! It started for me in my earliest school years and carried on for the next 13!! And, if anything, it's the fault of the kids DOING the bullying, if not THEIR parents!!

[dreamstar72]

I think bullying acting out and showing off, they think by bullying they are some type of a god. However they are a mess up a-h@l£. Most bullies lacks respect and responsibility from home.

[KostasKouvalis]

Yes.

No. I think it's the fault of the bullies parents. There was a bully who brought his mommy to summer school, and he was laughing at people's names, and his mom was just sitting there smirking.

[Mamasanma]

You are obviously one of them

[exitseven]

Yes Middle school is where it starts. Parents can have some influence but some kids are just jerks.

[genericname85]

No, i think bullying is mostly the result of bad parenting or family problems of the perpetrator. But i would say that it often starts in primary school and doesn't end after middle school.

[goaded]

No, it's the fault of the bully's parents. Could there be a more obvious case of victim blaming?

[goaded]

OK, so I skimmed the article, and he's not blaming the parents of the victim, he's blaming the government for financially encouraging schools not to expel bullies. He also seems to think that starving (by forcing one parent not to work, the mother, naturally) is better than being bullied.

I'm not convinced, but it made me wonder if putting bullies in "special" classes might be an effective way to discourage bullying. They clearly have developmental problems.

[Adam1978]

It's the fault of the bully's in maturity so blame the parents on that side.

[Citizenkirk]

I believe that bullying is the fault of anyone who tolerates it.

[douride2]

It is never the victims fault. Nor is it the parents fault. The fault falls with the bully & their parents.