This keeps happening to me. Basically I get in a circle of people talking. Everyone in the circle wants ME to listen to them.
So they try to talk over eachhother. Or they wait until I look at them to speak.
And they'll literally stop speaking, or start speaking, depending on who I am looking at.
It makes me sick inside. It makes me feel horrible. I fucking hate it more than anything. I don't want to talk to ANYONE at this point.
The only way I can stomach to talk to people is one on one.
I'm not special. I'm a piece of shit. I have NOTHING in this life. I'm 1 step away from a homeless person. I own literally the clothes on my back, my shoes, and this cheap piece of shit phone.
Yet girls, guys, people with money, it just doesn't seem to matter. For some reason people are addicted to me.
And to think I spent the first 25 years of my life utterly alone. Being bullied. Being shit on. Being literally physically attacked by strange men who didn't like the way I looked from a distance.
So yea I just don't know what to do. Sometimes I'll be in a group conversation, and I'll sit there and look at my phone the ENTIRE TIME so that nobody, no thing, can be directed at me. I don't want to even be fucking LOOKED AT because as soon as one does, everyone is fucking looking at me and hoping they're the special one that I end up looking at.
What a fucking bizarre reality I live in now. I hate it.
So they try to talk over eachhother. Or they wait until I look at them to speak.
And they'll literally stop speaking, or start speaking, depending on who I am looking at.
It makes me sick inside. It makes me feel horrible. I fucking hate it more than anything. I don't want to talk to ANYONE at this point.
The only way I can stomach to talk to people is one on one.
I'm not special. I'm a piece of shit. I have NOTHING in this life. I'm 1 step away from a homeless person. I own literally the clothes on my back, my shoes, and this cheap piece of shit phone.
Yet girls, guys, people with money, it just doesn't seem to matter. For some reason people are addicted to me.
And to think I spent the first 25 years of my life utterly alone. Being bullied. Being shit on. Being literally physically attacked by strange men who didn't like the way I looked from a distance.
So yea I just don't know what to do. Sometimes I'll be in a group conversation, and I'll sit there and look at my phone the ENTIRE TIME so that nobody, no thing, can be directed at me. I don't want to even be fucking LOOKED AT because as soon as one does, everyone is fucking looking at me and hoping they're the special one that I end up looking at.
What a fucking bizarre reality I live in now. I hate it.
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I can relate to you a lot. I know the feeling of being abused by literally everyone and all of a sudden people wanna talk to you and you feel like why tf now all of a sudden? You wonder what they want from you. Or what they see in you.
I dont have the answer for you because I've never met you. But ask yourself is there something you are doing different? Did you move out from your toxic parents home recently? Maybe change jobs?
No matter if people are doing it genuinly or not you can always use it to your own advantage. Le el up, prove them wrong. Let your ego make you succesfull.
I feel like part of it is that I lift weights. Like other dudes always have to make comments about how strong I must be.
Part of it is that I worked for years and years trying to learn how to talk to people. And I sure did improve but now it's gone too far i guess. I don't think I'm some fucking social wizard now lol.
I think part of it is I stopped caring what anyone else thinks whatsoever. That's probably the biggest part. I just don't give a fuck.
But I do because it's annoying to have these weirdos be obsessed with me.
And I feel like they are leeches. They're all desperate for something, some kind of blood they need to suck on.
I just don't know what makes me have the energy they crave to drain.
But I definitely feel used. They need something from me and if I knew what it was I would make sure to deny every person.
Yeah the human race are very judgmental. But sometimes its best to just let go. Evan if they wanna use you. They can't unless they let you.
It could be they have more respect for you now because they know you could easily beat them up...
I would say to distance yourself from them, or use these powers to your advantage and see what opportunities you can gain from it. You can probably get a better paying job through these group of people, extending your connections and network. (I'm not a social person; however, how did you manage to get these people to crave your attention?)
I don't know what I could be doing.
I mean I was dressed like shit in my fuckin minimum wage fast food job clothes most recently.
The guys were in the parking lot of my job after we closed. They had been out drinking and they had their girls with them. Pretty sexy beautiful women dressed up equally as nice as them.
And I just stood there in shock and awe, as I witnessed once again, multiple people just stop focusing on anything but me. Just like I said in my OP they would stop or start talking depending on if I was looking at them or not.
I'm just trying to be myself. Lol. That's all I been trying to do after a life of being bullied and shit on. I try to get over my never ending anxiety and be my real self.
Maybe I'm doing a better job than I think lol.
But why should everyone hyper focus on me? Something ain't right lol. I just can't fucking understand what is happening. It's beyond bizarre.
You have no idea the position you're in to change your life. They all feel comfortable around you because they don't feel threatened by you but they still respect you which likely means you're not a bum through and through.
If they make you feel sick, you may as well get what you can out of being around them and see what opportunities are available to you.