Does changing your pronouns automatically mean someone is transgender?

[Anonymous]

I don’t mean to be rude or ignorant on the topic, even though I’m a youth and probably should understand all this well, I’m still learning. To me, there’s a ton of things changing in this world that I can’t seem to keep up with.
My grandma recently referred to the cashier at the grocery as “she”, the person politely said he uses “he/ him” pronouns, i understood and apologized on her behalf. He was cool about it, and he actually knew my grandma for over a decade so he was willing to teach her as well. My grandma was confused lol but I guess she sort of grasped the pronouns topic. But then came the topic of transgender and pronouns and this is where I myself got confused and the cashier proceeded to bash me, and call me ignorant. I had just asked a question out of good intentions. I had honestly thought that if someone changed their pronouns, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re transgender. I thought being transgender was doing some sort of medical procedure to remove the sex parts and/or take hormone meds. But the cashier started arguing, while I was standing there quiet lol.

If anyone would explain to me this whole topic I’d really appreciate it. Thanks!

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Ah. Yeah I can see how that could be a bad misunderstanding.

He's right; someone can be trans by just changing their pronouns. In fact, someone can be trans and change nothing at all (usually because they're "in the closet" or don't have the support/resources to change anything). Being trans is why some people choose to medically transition, it is not that they medically transition.

The reason he reacted so strongly to what you said is likely because that is what's called "transmedicalism." Some people—even some trans people—hold this view, but it's very harmful. Not only can some trans people simply not afford the cost of medical transition, but some may not want it, for any number of reasons.

Remember that some cis men and women have bodies which don't "exactly" reflect their sex either (ie men who develop breasts, or women who grow beards). They do not always feel the need to change these parts of themselves though. And this doesn't make them any less men or women than other cis people. The same applies to trans people.

I assume this isn't what you meant, but transmedicalism is often used to invalidate those who can't or don't get certain medical procedures as "not really trans" and ostracize them from the community.

[provokeesmokee]

It doesn't always mean the person is trans. However, it sounds like you tried to explain something to your grandma that you weren't qualified or educated enough on to not seem blatantly ignorant or - at worst - transphobic.

I changed my pronouns from she/her to they/she about two years ago or so, as I started questioning my gender. I am non-binary, but still present as my assigned gender at birth (female) for the most part.

Everyone experiences gender differently, and some may choose to go by different pronouns but not change their outward appearance. Or may change their appearance and then change pronouns. Or something else entirely.

You cannot generalize the relationship between pronoun and gender identity too quickly. It is best to ask when uncertain, and hold space for the other person to tell you as much as they feel is safe for them.

I'd be curious to know what you said.

[RingOfFire]

The problem is that people with these gender fantasies are all about themselves. They expect YOU to be forced to go along with their fantasy and get outraged if you don't.

Screw them. I will call you whatever the hell I want to call you and if you don't like it to damn bad for you. The world doesn't revolve around your fantasies.

[BCA6010]

Changing your pronouns outs you as either a troll or a headcase. That's it. You are not doing them or yourself any favors by affirming or pandering to it.

[menina]

This is a sensitive topic and some people feel offended or misunderstood. The best thing to do is respect their wishes and calling them by the pronouns they identify with.

I'd say that they can be transgender or they are transitioning. If they ask you to call them "they", it means they're non-binary. Either way, I think you can find more information about this online.

[Uannoyme]

The cashier was being a jerk. Correcting strangers about pronouns is entitled. People who don't know them have no way of knowing what they go by. It's probably not intentional, get over it. Also, bashing someone who is just trying to understand is messed up. Some people are just looking for things to be offended about.

[Spade_01]

Uhh cringe. Transgender people can never be the gender they wanted to transition to, let alone being called by their wishful pronouns. Things are really getting more and more pathetic with this 'woke' stuff.

[Anonymous]

A desire to change your "pronouns" is a symptom of either confusion or mental illness on the part of the person wanting to do so. And also, "transvestite" is the proper term for those wanting to look and dress like the opposite sex. No such thing as "transgender". You are created by God to be ONE sex/gender for life... the sex that He chose for you

[spartan55]

Whenever someone starts with that pronoun shit I immediately start ignoring anything they say.

[LiamJHayden]

People are welcome to their own delusions. They are not welcome to coerce others to share those delusions.

[gorydetails]

people who use pronouns that wouldn’t normally describe them are mentally ill. They can be disregarded.

[runnerboy]

don't really get the whole pronoun thing. Can't people just go by their names?

[Anonymous]

People having meltdowns over words became a joke a long time ago.

[Anonymous]

Yes it does.