How to deal with political medical discrimination, and hopelessness?

[Anonymous]

My husband was scheduled for surgery in just a couple months. He's needed it for years, his doctor agreed and referred him to a specialist, he got notes and they said he qualified, and even his insurance agreed to cover it! Everything was actually going as it's supposed to for once.

But then our stupid governer passed a stupid law that forbid his insurance from covering it, and now unless we pay out of pocket within the month they'll have to cancel the surgery!

I don't know what to do. We don't have that kind of money. He already fucking speedran the process to try and get it done, bc the governer already tried to pull this shit last year. But even though everything went right, it was too slow, and now it looks like there's nothing else we can do.

He's been in denial all month, I haven't even been able to talk to him about it. I'm scared that when it happens he'll have a serious break or something. He's already had several panic attacks over it—and he won't tell his therapist bc that could get him denied surgery in the future.

I don't know how to help him. I don't even know what to say. It's all just so fucked up.

[Anonymous]

If he won't go to a therapist then have him do the research himself on what therapists say in these situations. If it's a state-wide change, I'm sure he's not the only person who was effected very badly very quickly. There may be one of those therapists or surgeons on social media who's already made a post discussing the problem. And if not, there's still a lot of videos out there of actual therapists talking about stress, depression, anxiety, and even panic, and how to deal with them. And there's lots of information on other sites too—just make sure it lists sources and is a trustworthy site.

And don't be a therapist for him. That'll just stress you out more, and then you'll both be down. I understand this effects him more directly, but it also effects your life. Don't ignore if you need help or to talk about it too. Get your own lives and minds settled again before trying any serious action here. If it's really discrimination I believe you can sue over the decision, but that's a lot of work and stress on its own. Don't rush into anything big like that until you think you could both handle it.

[Asker]

Fucking thank you for an actual answer

[In_Trance]

What surgery does he need? Where is the discrimination?

[Asker]

It's not the surgery that made his insurance drop its his diagnosis—which is why he needs the surgery in the first place. If he had a different diagnosis, the surgery would still be covered! It's stupid. Just bc a politician decided to play Doctor and fuck up actual doctors and patients treatment plans.

[Anonymous]

You forgot to mention what surgery and discrimination you ment.

[Asker]

It's pretty obvious that the discrimination is our governer passing a law that specifically blocked my husband from getting surgery with insurance. I guess I didn't mention that if he had a different diagnosis, the surgery would still have been covered. So the jerk KNOWS the surgery is needed, and should be covered under insurance. They just blocked people who need it bc of one diagnosis specifically, just to fuck up their lives. There's no other reason to do it. The public doesn't want that law passed, doctors don't, and patients obviously don't either. They're being a fucking bad stupid governer by forcing fucked up view of themself and a tiny minority into law over everyone else's life.

[Opinion Owner]

The thing is, we are not up to date on everything everywere, we don’t know what your husband’s surgery is. Its a world of difference between if your husband’s surgery is a trans transitioning surgery thing or if its something more serious. And how you deal with it depends on what it is. Thats the crux of the matter. We can’t give you tips on how to deal with it if we don’t know what you and your husband are dealing with.

[Asker]

It's serious. Not being able to get the surgery will hugely effect his work and daily life. I don't know what the surgery code numbers are, or whatever the official medical name is. I'm pretty sure any way that you could deal with something like this would apply to most similar situations though. Im not asking for like, non-surgical treatment options specific to his condition. We already know all that shit. Obviously. I'm just asking for advice how to handle this kind of situation in general. I've never been fucked over like this personally in medicine, and I don't know how to help him handle THAT. The condition, I'm familiar with. It's the fucking discrimination and hopelessness that I'm not used to, or to helping someone whos experiencing it.

[gorydetails]

Which governor and what surgery?

[Anonymous]

What procedure are we talking about here?

[Opinion Owner]

So a surgery to address an illness?

[Opinion Owner]

So a sex change then?

[Opinion Owner]

Why don't you quit making everyone guess and let us know what fucking procedure you're talking about? If you want any honest or relevant feedback on your question, give us some facts so we can give you an answer. Otherwise, just piss off.

[Opinion Owner]

Not all precedures are created equal. How people react to your questin depends on the procedure. If you don't tell us we are left to assume it is an elective procedure that is unnecessary.