I’m so unhappy and don’t know how to get the things I want. Help?

Question

I’m going to be 35 in a few months and it is terrifying. Since I was in middle school I planned on being a governor or senator by now and being the Republican nominee for president this year. I also thought I’d be living in a more conservative state, that I’d have more friends and allies, traveled a lot more, that I would have found some wonderful woman to marry. Instead I feel paralyzed and like a life failure. I’ve never even had a relationship :( I am so miserably unhappy and don’t know what to do. I’ve never known what to do…. I don’t fit in to this world. Haven’t for most of my life.

Anonymous · Answer

Firstly, don't worry, everyone feels a little like you describe. Lives rarely go as we would have dreamed.

That said, life is about taking the risks! It's too easy to keep putting off those risks because of comfort, stability, logic or 'common sense'. When I say risks, I mean to do something that scares you, but not fundimentally dangerous things (e. g. if it seems too much to move to a new place and start a life their, try it, find somewhere you might like and just go). Pushing our boundaries is what makes life..

My life personally changed when I emigrated 22,000 miles from my home; It was both an amazing experience and scary as hell, and the reason I originally moved fell apart (a relationship), but I found my own world / life there. Since then, I've come to miss my original home and just recently ended up in a long distance relationship with someone I though could never see me the same way (e. g. like challenges us all).

My point here, is that life is complex and the only way to live is to challenge yourself and not be pre-fixed on a destination. Fixating on what is wrong or trying to get stuff right just leads to a big mess and a person stops being themselves whilst their in that mode.

I’m so unhappy and don’t know how to get the things I want. Help?

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