What would you do if you were out to eat?

[MrShaun]

You've taken your spouse or SO out to dinner. You've selected a place that is both family friendly as well as catering to singles and date night.

You order your meals and, just as the meals are served, another table with a preschool age child starts a commotion. The child starts crying and very quickly it escalates into a full blown temper tantrum. Unfortunately, it doesn't subside. It continues ten, fifteen, even twenty minutes later the child is screaming at full capacity.

So what do you do?

Do you shake your head, try to ignore the issue, eat your meal without much conversation, leave a good tip and leave?

Do you call over your waiter or waitress, let them understand that even though the place is meant to be family friendly, you don't feel it's proper for this one patron to create such a disturbance for everyone else? You'd like them to address the issue with the other table, asking them to take the child out until he can calm down or you and your dining partner will excuse themselves and they can comp the tab.

Or do you do something completely different?

Updates

10 mo

I appreciate the comments.

This happened to my wife and I. Other diners were annoyed too. Yes, it was a family friendly restaurant but that shouldn't mean a child screaming without end.

To parents: If you don't want to deal with such actions, leave your children home. Get a babysitter or get your meals to go. If you're out, address the issue. Take the child out. Don't make others accept your child's behavior.

To managers: Address the issue with the table. Don't make other diner's suffer.

[Caroline91]

First of all, I don't think what you are describing is reasonable for the parents to think the other diners should be subjected to it. Parents need to try to gage their child's capacity for dealing with things at any given time and adjust for circumstances. The Child could have been gently taken into another area of the restaurant and given the chance to vent his upset and regain his composure. If he isn't able to, then I think his parents should be the ones to ask for their food to go and take their little one somewhere else more conducive to his needs at that moment. Also, there may be things other diners might be able to do to help that family. I carry a small zip bag in my purse that I call my bag of tricks. It has things like finger puppets in it, a top, a small kaleidoscope, even a kazoo. If the child is able to be distracted by some of it, I will play with him for a little bit. When my own children are fussy, the bag of tricks comes out. But sometimes, there may be a child who has some kind of developmental or behavioral difficulty. When that seems to be the case, and I can't help distract him, I just ignore it because those parents probably really, really needed to get out of the house and are doing the best that they can with a difficult situation.

[midnightmoon05]

We have encountered such scenarios. We generally ask the wait staff if the other party with the baby is doing okay.
most around my area, kids are very well behave. If such, parents take the child out for a little distraction… all these are easily resolved.
kids crying over 15-20 m. is not normal. They might be in pain. These parents may not understand how to parent and how to behave in restaurants.

[Chazmatazz269]

You’ve invented something in your head that doesn’t actually exist. Family friendly is not date night environs. You have a very weird sense of romance and intimacy if you disagree. You’re probably also cheap. Even when parents believed in disciplining their children, it wasn’t a good idea to take a date somewhere kids would be. There will be unnecessary noise and drama, for one. The food is going to be mediocre and inexpensive. Nobody takes their toddlers to five-star restaurants.
I don’t usually hang out in places where people’s kids can foul my experience. On the rare occasion that i do, it’s going to be a free experience or cheap enough that i don’t mind walking out on my investment in exchange for peace and quiet.

[MrShaun]

This is by no means something "invented."

There are many such eating establishments that create an environment for everyone. And date night doesn't have to mean romance -- simply a nice night out with good food and good company.

[Chazmatazz269]

Again, you’re not getting “good” food at places that cater to children at all. Places like that have to prepare food inexpensively and for a much broader palate. Also, you wouldn’t be asking this ridiculous question if spending the evening with other people’s brats was “good company”.
I stand by my statement.

[MrShaun]

I'll admit it wasn't a Michelin 5 star but I also don't believe that's required for good food.

[msc545]

I would politely ask to be moved to a different table.

[MrShaun]

That's one of the better solutions offered.

Thank you.

[msc545]

I actually have done that once or twice. Worked out well for all concerned.

[Kaneki05]

Easy to solve don't go to eat out in places where kids will be. That been said it's literally the restaurants job to kick out problem makers whether it's kids or not as ruining the decorum is bad for business. Some leeway is given but there is point to obviously kick them out.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I always say “It’s not a trip out in public without a crying child.” Because you find them pretty much everywhere if there’s enough people around, and not all of them are going to be happy.

[MrShaun]

So your vote would be for the first option. I appreciate that.

I'd absolutely agree that children should be expected and potentially some fussing, but I'm not sure that I'd agree that such a tantrum is reasonable.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If the kid is colic or something, what would critiquing the parents do? Nothing. Most you can do is just leave because the restaurant isn’t going to do anything unless it interferes with the business. It’s not that hard to ask the waiter to make sure your order is to-go and just wait up front at the host stand if it’s really THAT bad. Most of the time tho, it’s not and most parents would try to fix the issue. I imagine in a majority of cases, they just carry the crying child away from the crowd, they probably just missed naptime or something anyway

[MrShaun]

I'm not suggesting "critiquing" anyone. As an option, someone from management could approach the table and explain that the child is disturbing other diners and that they need to have someone remove the child, to maybe a foyer area, until the child calms down.

I've never minded children in such an establishment and children will sometimes act up however I don't believe it's reasonable for a child to continually scream at the top of his lungs and neither the parent or management do anything about it.

[Genie23]

Happened to me once. I know how to get attention of kids and distract them. So, I got involved and distracted the kid. I talked to her gently and in a playfully way and she calmed down soon.

[Dongie]

Damn, you're not shy at all. 🫩

[Genie23]

I'm kinda extroverted and I am good with kids. Kids in my neighbourhood know me and in every house I lived in, almost every kid not only knew me but also included me in their games and would even ring my doorbell to come out and play 😂 Their parents liked how I was with their kids and became friends with me too. So, I'm kinda used to this.

[Dongie]

And you must be very patient.

[Genie23]

@Dongie I am but only with kids and elderly, to be honest. Also, maybe I'm patient with them because I used to be a mischievous kid and I think I probably gave my parents and siblings a hard time at some point because I was the youngest kid who was of course pampered but I also felt like nobody was taking me seriously which I didn't like. I wanted to express myself so maybe I didn't know the right manner back then, lol... but with their and my siblings patience, I turned into a good kid. So, you've got to be patient with them.

[Genie23]

-and I absolutely love kids.

[Dongie]

I can relate. I'm the youngest and only boy of 5. I got blamed for everything. I swear I was barely a year old when they shot Kennedy.

[Genie23]

@Dongie

[Dongie]

😵‍💫🫩

[Genie23]

@Dongie 😂😂😂

[exitseven]

I would ignore the kid and be thankful it is not one of mine raising thr stink. My kids are all grown up but there are still restaurants that we are not allowed to go back to

[Dongie]

See, you teachers!

[OneViewpoint]

Ask the waiter for a pitcher of ice water. Use it on the kid. Hand the empty pitcher to dad. Say "you're welcome".

[DryGermanGuy]

😂😂😂

[Dongie]

Yeah, if one of the parents could actually be so rude as to sit there for more than a couple of minutes I'd wish someone would do this or I may myself.

[jahaims]

If my wife and I our out on a date it would be a nice enough of an establishment to not allow customers to disrupt other customers experience.

[David318578]

I would ignore it, I picked family friendly and this is what you can get.

[DrPepper12]

Fuck that. Ignore the kid.

[Dongie]

But how? We're not teachers and have not grown that ability.

[DrPepper12]

I doubt that. You can do it

[Dongie]

If you notice another teacher said the same thing. It's not fair!

[DrPepper12]

Stoicism is my guide. You can't be disturbed by any stimulus if you choose not to

[Dongie]

Eeh, yeah.

[jamesgoldman]

Order a Scotch or three