Why do so many people still defend patriarchy and rigid gender roles?

Question

Honestly, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. We’re living in a pretty modern world, but it feels like half the population is still dragging their feet, desperately trying to hold onto outdated patriarchal garbage.

For me, the goal is simple: an entirely equal world where everything is split 50/50 between men and women, or at the very least, where we are genuinely treated as equals across the board. But it blows my mind how many people, expecially girls, still act like traditional gender roles are the only "natural" way to live. The whole setup where a guy has to automatically be the head of the house, call all the shots, and hold power over a woman just feels completely out of touch with that 50/50 vision. Whenever you try to call it out, people act like you're personally trying to destroy the fabric of society.

To me, it just seems like people are scared of losing power. It's way easier to cling to an ancient system where you get a built-in advantage than it is to actually share control 50/50 and treat your partner as an equal. But how are we ever supposed to have real, healthy relationships or a fair society when these weird power imbalances are still baked into everyday expectations?

Why are people still so hung up on these old-school patriarchal traditions instead of wanting a truly equal 50/50 world? What is it going to take for everyone to realize that holding power over someone else isn't what a real partnership looks like? What do you think?
I invite you to read this article: https://kashmirobserver.net/2025/11/05/how-patriarchy-shapes-everyday-life-in-kashmir/

This is what patriarchy does. It shapes everyone, even those who seem to benefit from it.

I’m totally open to hearing everyone's thoughts on this, even if your views go completely against mine, I just ask that we keep it respectful and leave the insults out of it. Give me your opinion.

TonyMetal___1986 · Accepted Answer

I'm not completely against your views, i also believe that men and women are equal as a value and as humans, but our roles are different, we were created not to be like each other, but to complete each other...

I do believe in gender roles, plus yes i'm the head of the house and will always be, i don't go by that 50/50 equation, i might give more, she might give more, it doesn't matter, it's all for the sake of our family...

Even if it's 50/50, her 50% will be different then mine... etc

FreyaRed · Accepted Answer

With power comes accountability and this is often something both sexes avoid like devil avoid holly water. Patriarchy, matriarchy are ideologies to control masses, while true power lies in individuals. Sex wars won't bring a society further, it's just another layer of polarization that can be exploited by those in power and I assure you it's not always men.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

The rest of the world is out of touch with your vision, so you ask "what is wrong with the rest of the world?" Isn't it rather egocentric for you to expect the rest of the world to embrace your vision of utopia, a utopia in which women are not allowed to choose a traditional life even though that is what they truly want? (Because women should not have THAT much freedom!)

Coercion_Is_Trauma · Answer

I am so masculine i turn straight men gay. I physically turn them around do to them what makes them gay. more gay = less patriarchy. So masculinity is the solution to everything.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Why? What's wrong with it?
I saw a video the other day of a woman trying to change a tire on her car. As she struggled with trying to figure out how to do it, her friend stood there claiming she was her moral support instead oof actually helping her change the tire and both of them were supremely pissed that several men went by and never stopped to help or do it for them!! You got what you wanted!! How does it fit?
What do you think the chances would be that, IF a guy stopped to help them, they'd either berate him for offering, as if he was insulting them by assuming they weren't capable just because they didn't have a dick between their legs, or they'd assume he was only doing it in hopes of getting laid by both of them?
You WANT 50/50? Okay, you fuck me and get me pregnant and then go off to fight in a war somewhere while I deal with having the baby and taking care of the house. Even if I COULD get pregnant, I'm willing bet I'd come away the better of the both of us!!
Yesterday, I was at the bus stop waiting for a bus and, across the street were a bunch of guys and a woman laying down blacktop in a parking lot and driveway in front of a bar. One of the guys was using a tamper part of the time to tamp down the tar. He pounded the shit out of it, the way you're supposed to. After a couple minutes, the woman took the tamper to tamp down another section and she could barely lift it and, at best, tapped it onto the ground hardly doing any good at all!
Another video I saw yesterday had a woman in her 20's or 30's at a shopping cart rack at a Target parking lot. Rather than grab the outermost cart in the rack and use that, she opted to get one IN THE MIDDLE of the rack and tried SEVERAL times to pick it up and heft it OVER the metal railing in the rack!! She was just about to accomplish this when another woman came over to help her and, INSTEAD of telling her to just take the cart at the end of the rack, SHE, TOO helped her get that one cart over the rack JUST BECAUSE the first woman's purse was now inside that cart!! Rocket science!!

Anonymous · Answer

You are young enough that you are likely to live to see the world you are asking for, and believe me, you aren't going to like it.

You clearly have NO awareness of what men do for the world, but you are going to find out. Men built and maintain the comfortable world you live in and they provide the protection that enables you to be safe. That is NOT the natural state of the world. But because of exactly this attitude you have, there is a massive birthrate collapse worldwide and it's already too late to recover from it.

There is going to be a huge drop in the number of people, including men, but more importantly, there won't be enough men to build and maintain the infrastructure that you currently enjoy.

Because men will have to prioritize the most important jobs, such as oil, gas, power, and transportation, there aren't going to be nearly enough men for construction, policing, and most of the "comfort industry". Women will have to do a lot more of these dangerous, dirty, physical jobs, and they aren't built for it. Try to imagine how safe you will be in a city where 90% of the police are women. Imagine calling the fire department and 6 110-pound women show up to save you.

Today, you are young and at your most desirable, but soon those days will be behind you, never to return. The privilege you currently enjoy will be largely gone. You won't have men eager to help you lift, carry, or move heavy things, or offer you protection, but as you age, you will almost certainly want those things more and more. You will forget that you told everyone that you didn't want those things and will be blaming men for not providing them to you. But men won't forget.

Men will always have the monopoly on power. Every "right" that you have is 100% dependant upon a man enforcing it, and if men decided tomorrow that women have no rights at all, there is nothing women could do about it. Don't believe me? Visit Afghanistan, or any number of Muslim countries.

Men and women are NOT the same. Men carry far more responsibility than you realize, and you are far more reliant on men than you realize. If men disappeared for 30 days, most women would be dead when the 30 days was up, because the whole world's infrastructure would collapse within 72 hours. If women disappeared for 30 days, very little would change - men already do nearly all the infrastructure jobs, and the infrastructure would continue normally.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

I can only speak for the US since I have lived there all my life, but the patriarchy has been long dead.

>an entirely equal world where everything is split 50/50 between men and women, or at the very least, where we are genuinely treated as equals across the board.

Well, its not. Women are the ones who have the upper hand education, jobs, marriage, legal system, etc. in an attempt to offset inequalities that never existed in the first place.

The only place where the sexes should treated equally is the legal system, but given the recent Clancy case, the vocal feminists cannot stand the idea of women being held accountable for her own conscious decision to strange her three children. They legitimately think she's somehow "fighting the system" by doing so.

>But it blows my mind how many people, expecially girls, still act like traditional gender roles are the only "natural" way to live.

Because it is the natural way. If it wasn't, humanity would have went extinct as soon as it emerged. Male and female brains exist and they are designed to fit those roles. Yes there are outliers and we should account for those, but that doesn't mean that we should be building our society pretending the outliers are the norm.

>The whole setup where a guy has to automatically be the head of the house

Yes because whether you like it or not, women prefer men who can lead because that makes them good fathers as well. The whole animosity towards men being the head of the household as a general concept is the conflation of power and corruption, the former can exist without the latter and as long as the relationship is loving it mostly does.

Up until the last 50-70 years, the majority of Americans were Christian. The Bible not only commands women to submit to their husbands but it also commands men to love their wives and die for them as Christ did for the church. Furthermore:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

If you love your partner, then this should be second nature for both wives and husbands. That is why the dynamic works.

RavVid · Answer

Biology isn't and cannot be equal.

The average man will be stronger than the average woman. New born baby boys show more attention to mechanical toys whilst new born baby girls pay more attention to faces.

There is a classic test where the subject is asked to predict the line water in a glass vessel will take when the vessel is held at different angles. Girls are notoriously bad at this - even after 5 years of training -whilst boys just cream it. Typically girls are just not as good at space related tasks.

A girlfriend always wanted to discuss where we had parked whilst I just walked straight to it. She eventually learnt to trust my navigation and toddled after me. She never learnt to navigate by the sun

Leaving aside physical differences, why would evolution ever favour equal mental abilities? Far better if girls and guys were better at different things because a breeding couple would be superior having different specialities to bring to bear.

"better at different things" is the operative and important phrase. Classically the dividing line is that women hold sway in the home (camp/cave) and men hold sway in the external world. Homer provides evidence of this. There is cave art of women cleaning the cave.

You have at least 2 Million years of evolution telling you that you are wrong.

Normal people just work out their partner is better at X than they are and leave it to them to do X.

Anonymous · Answer

I could use up every character in the chatbox answering this question. But in the end, what good would it do. Because you ask a question that has so many freaking variables, there's no bottom lining you on this. And I HATE the word "PATRIARCHY" because it's a buzzword to lump men into one group as if all men are in charge and that's absurd. 95% of men as well as men throughout history have been worker bees and drones. They're not in charge of 💩! You, as a woman talking to men about the patriarchy is like a man talking to you about women's health.

We can argue if you like but i'll just say this. I'll treat a woman however she likes. She can be strong and independent, and i'll treat her as such. Or if she'd rather be treated as a feminine princess, i can do that as. Well. But what she DOESN'T get to do is pick and choose the parts she likes of each role.

Yes, i'm all for equality. But that means you're buying your own GD drinks. Sorry, you wanted equality. And you might be all for this. But i promise you already some of your sisters are crying foul. And we've just started.

So i'll tell you what. We guys will fix this whole "Patriarchy" thing when you women get together with a completely unified voice. Since THAT will never happen, we can end this conversation.

Zack-Bann · Answer

Because the alternative isn’t better.
And in too many ways it’s a step backwards or sideways towards absurdity.

The patriarchy is not perfect but it yielded results for a long time.

And while we can’t go back to it 100% and some parts should never have existed, the idea of throwing the whole concept in the bin in favor of an inferior one that is destroying society is not a winner either

But too few people are willing to have a nuanced take on things, always fighting for the extremes.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Because in some cases, it costs lives.

What ya really need to do is look at the skills and abilities... gifts and values of the person and alig them to the job. If they don't cut it, they shouldn't be doing it.

There's things in my opinion, I would test females hard for, but males as well.

I ask you this... do females have stronger and more frequent hormonal disruptions causing mood swings, mind errors, than males? I've personally seen it result in accidents, I watch stories and it likely contributing to fatal results.

So it's important to look at the whole person. Anyone that does not understand females should work with a school building full of them.

Stevepro68 · Answer

Well sometimes it's control, or they are manipulated and damaged. But the most common reason is... They are part of group, that makes up their personal identity. People that make them feel like their perceived group is no longer "normal" experience. No one wants to be excluded from social norms. So ironically they push to maintain what they perceive is "the social normal" to make sure they are never outside of that group. Ironically doing to other exactly what their fears drive them to try to force others to be their percieved normal.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Broadly speaking, and as said already by Chinaski, tradition is a strong social force, it has the appeal of being simple to understand, apply & follow. The old naturally feels safe when the new feels scary, it's human.

And there's so many new and scary things these days, look at all these crisis stacking since a few decades, financial crisis, migration crisis, climate crisis... To name the most massive ones.

Then there is feminism and it's counterpart, born as a reaction to feminism: Manosphere, it's trending. It doesn't make a lot of babies I guess but it certainly spawns more bros to feed the broforce

Xdressertiff · Answer

I strong independent woman is so adorable. I don't believe in patriarchy as I love dressing as a woman. All power to women. Guys want to be the Alpha but many try and are secretly intimidated by a strong woman

Screenwriter · Answer

It IS about power and advantage. Someone can give up power for an equally appealing advantage. And the pborlem is there are a host of people who don't want equality because of those aspects.

In addition, absolute 50/50 in any kind of relationship is unlikely. But NEAR equality gives both power and advantage to both. It's because the advantages are not apparent, and the giving up of power seems counterintuitive!

OneViewpoint · Answer

You are trying to destroy the fabric of society from their vantage point. A society designed by men to keep men in control. In our case, White men.

They've enjoyed White male privilege for so long they believe they are entitled to it. They are blind to the unfair advantages they benefit from. And you are the asshole trying to take it away from them. Trying to change “the way it should be”.

Don’t expect any other response from these selfish low IQ assholes.

SeekerOfTruth007 · Answer

You're a liar. you don't want 50/50 split. Women had that in 1919. Ever since then, women want a man to be their SLAVE and work for them and pay 50% of their life's income for life.

I don't give two shits about patriarchy, but "gender roles" are not fluid. You are born one way or the other, either male or female and you are what you were born as.

Now we have men castrating themselves and calling themselves "women". I sure as hell would not fuck one of them, so they are not a woman. If you are born with two XX chromosomes, you're a woman. If you are born XY you're a man.

Stop trying to change the scientific definition for life too. You people are out of your damned minds.

Smegskull · Answer

Men have been waiting for this 50/50 to kick in too. The equal rights were extended to women as requested but the accompanying responsibilities have just been ignored.

Coltain did a great breakdown of this in the early 2010s called "Equal contribution". I will see if I can find it.

_Jenny_ · Answer

@clara4567 Clara I agree with you, men are too Dominant and we are expected to submissive

MrChinaski · Answer

It's easier to accept traditions you are born into than to carve your own path. Don't you find?

Billlewis · Answer

I think you could just as easily ask why so many people want to weaken and demasculinize young men for the purpose of undermining the western world in general and the U. S. in particular.

fishbone77 · Answer

What you call gender roles are ingrained behaviors that have helped humans survive for tousands of years.

This feminist horseshit has produced generations of women hopped up on social media and antidepressants

Ariesman81Nshiiit · Answer

I think until women stop thinking authority means power men should be in charge. Authority equates to responsibility, something very few women understand.

Amy10223 · Answer

Because they are small minded people with zero tolerance for anyone who is different from them.

Anonymous · Answer

Men fear equality. They want all control and power.

loveslongnails · Answer

People fear what they don't understand. They also fear change, and ideas that don't concur with their own. However, in the case of patriarchy, men specifically fear the loss of power.

NathanDavis · Answer

control

Spencer10 · Answer

It is difficult for many people to change and /or give up power...

DonaldDarko · Answer

Usually religion. Islam is the worst example.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Cause they are stuck in and old outdated way of thinking and doing things

XPen_DragonX · Answer

Gender roles and stereotypes are very unfortunate and limiting.

canamlusciouslad73 · Answer

Religious fundamentalism and lack of imagination.

msc545 · Answer

Nobody is going to give in to feminist lies.

6942Dantheman · Answer

1. that's how we are designed. 2. society only work when we stick to the natural gender roles.

Markella83 · Answer

They need guidelines.

Why do so many people still defend patriarchy and rigid gender roles?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

control

Why do so many women oppose patriarchy when it was almost always to their benefit?

Why do so many people still defend patriarchy and rigid gender roles?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

control

Why do so many women oppose patriarchy when it was almost always to their benefit?

We're glad to see you liked this post.