Do you think it's true that marriage is financial suicide for men?

[Anonymous]

About 70% of marriages end in divorce within 5 years these days, and in divorce, men tend to lose almost everything. This includes at least half of their money and property, their children, their homes, their reputations, their jobs, and many other things. Family law courts are incredibly biased against men, and the marriage statistics reflect this. Most men are very reluctant to get married these days, and it's not surprising.

The argument against marriage for men is not necessarily an argument against women, love, or committed relationships. It is an argument against entering into a legal contract that may expose a man to substantial financial losses, diminished parental rights, and prolonged litigation if the relationship ends.

The central argument is that marriage can create legal and financial obligations that persist long after the emotional relationship has ended, and that men may bear a disproportionate share of those burdens.

Updates

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The argument against marriage for men is not necessarily an argument against women, love, or committed relationships. It is an argument against entering into a legal contract that may expose a man to substantial financial losses, diminished parental rights, and prolonged litigation if the relationship ends.

The central argument is that marriage can create legal and financial obligations that persist long after the emotional relationship has ended, and that men may bear a disproportionate share.

Updates

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Historically, mothers have been more likely than fathers to receive primary physical custody following divorce. Although modern laws generally require gender-neutral decisions, critics argue that traditional assumptions about mothers as primary caregivers can continue to influence custody negotiations and court proceedings.

A father may find himself fighting for equal parenting time, even if he believes he was an equally responsible parent throughout the marriage.

[832loverboy73]

Far too often.

[Anonymous]

Men on here, maybe it’s you every time, keep asking this and making the same statements over and over. You say:

70% of divorces are initiated by women and take that as a ”look women are horrible and can’t be trusted, don’t get married!” instead of asking yourself how horrible so many husbands have to be for women to drive women to divorce. She’d rather lose her family and 50% of time with her kids to be a struggling single mom than stay with her husband. Why? Because he’s a great man and a great husband? That makes no sense.

”Men lose half of all their money and stuff!”. Is it really their money? When you get married you become one. You join everything and nothing belongs to you anymore. They build a life together. Often the wife is the reason he can focus on his career and make all that money because she takes care of the kids and house. She sacrifice career earnings for their family. Is it fair to tell her that means nothing and ”you should not gain access to half of what you’ve helped me earn”? Is it fair that her contributions already made her financially vulnerable, no pension earnings, no savings, little to no work experience, lower salery etc because she sacrificed that and took on the role of caring for your children and home and then you tirn around telling her she deserves nothing when things end between you either? Married men make more money. That’s what statistics say. So he benefits financially by having her.

”Marriage is a huge financial risk to men”. Is it? What’s the risk? Again, the mindset is fundamentally wrong. He doesn’t lose anything that’s his. All assets are shared, and for good reason. He gets his share. If we’re talking about a wealthy man going into a marriage with big financial assets (rare, most men are broke or average) and marries a woman who has less than him then he risks losing half of what he had before they got married. True. Because he said yes to becoming one with her sharing everything. He no longer owns all of that - THEY own it together now. This is not a secret. However, what you and many like you seem to forget is that this scenario of a man who has a lot of money losing it after divorce means that he married a poorer woman. Men tend to marry women who have less money than they do. They focus more on things like beauty. Well. If a man marries a woman who has more money than him then roles are reversed at divorce. She loses ”her” money to him. You conviniently always leave this our. Marriage/divorce is not a ploy out to get men. It’s a unification that shares everything equally between the partner in case of divorce. If you’re worried then marry a woman who has more than you, or the same.

”Men lose their kids, family courts are biased!”. No. Family court looks at what’s best for the kids. Most of the time it’s joint custody but it is true that when one parent has custody or the kids living with them more it’s the mother. Is it because courts are out to get men? No. They look at the situation and who’s the primary caregiver and usually that’s the mother. The men usually don’t do their share taking care of their children while married but somehow are surprised that the children are mlre attached to the mom. Because that’s what it’s about - who are the kids attached to? Who usually takes care of them? Who knows more about them and their lives? They go to that parent if 50-50 is not on the table. That’s to make it easier on the kids and keep them with the person they feel most attached to. Has nothing to do with the man, the woman or the court. It’s about the kids and what’s in their best interest and what will disrupt their everyday life the least. But yeah, nowadays men are more involved and 50-50 is the norm and the first choice. Things are different when he’s not as involved in the caregiving. So. If men don’t want to ”lose their kids” they need to be actively involved in the childrearing and their kids everyday life from the start even dueing the marriage.

[Asker]

Nothing like blaming the victim for your behavior when all you're really doing when you file for divorce is expressing hypergamy in greed.

[OneViewpoint]

Men bear a disproportionate share of the burden in our legal system because historically women have had no property rights, unequal access to education, and they do most of the child rearing. They are or have been extremely dependent on a husband for a home, a bank account, and access to credit. You can't have that arrangement and just switch it off when the emotional thing ends. Especially if kids are involved. A guy who does that is an asshole. And the courts do take into account each person's ability to support themselves along with any children involved.

If you thought you could have a "trad wife" chained to the bedpost and the stove then just dump her you're either extremely immature or extremely selfish. She gave up education and career for a family. Now she's 35? 45? And she has no degree and no work history or a career and you think you can just walk away with everything with no accounting for the sacrifices she's made for you? That is mind blowing. I guess you don't understand what marriage is supposed to be.

[EmmaMary]

I've just realised that the forum's resident Woman Hater has just spouted off yet another load of his pathetic bollox.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to get married, then don't get married; nobody cares other than your mother. But do get your facts straight. "U. S. Divorce Rate Hits 50-Year Low: Only 40% of First Marriages Now End in Divorce"
divorce.law/.../

[BlackFalcon03]

Depends on the woman. Its a 50/50 coin flip. Though there are signs.

[Chayce]

Marriage is almost not worth it in this day & age. Unless you really know this person. Me, I’m just trying to play the Leo DiCaprio game & just sleep with them. With no connections brings zero heartache & hearbreak.

[LazerBean]

It all just depends on how intelligent and well raised the man is. If he can pick a wife with low divorce indicators, and if he himself is someone with low divorce indicators, so basically if two marriage quality people marry, then marriage can be very beneficial for the man in many ways including financially.

[Asker]

Gambling against 70% odds makes no sense.

[TonyMetal___1986]

Miss Lazer is a real devoted wife, she wants her marriage to remain forever because she believes that marriage is made forever, plus she knows the principles of what a real marriage is, if you find a woman like her, you don't have to worry about divorce or anything else, all you have to do is being a loving, loyal, caring and a hard working man...

[LazerBean]

@OP but it's not a 70% odd though, many factors change the rate. For example, married men with a body count of one only have a divorce rate of 3%. So that is where intelligence and good upbringing come in.

@TonyMetal___1986 thank you! I try my best, and my husband deserves the best 😁

[TonyMetal___1986]

For sure miss lazer 😊

[Asker]

There's no such thing as a so-called divorce indicator. That's just your fantasy about how easy it would be for a man to decide whether or not he's likely to get divorced.

[LazerBean]

Ah, I see you're one of those snowflake libtards who hates statistics 😂 I'm glad you're not getting married then, y'all have extremely high divorce indicators. Such as being hoes and fatherless. Please don't breed, since those things are unfortunately passed on in genetics

[Asker]

Exactly what so-called divorce indicators as you call them. Do you expect a man to be able to figure out? How about instead of name calling you actually back up your assertions for a change?

[LazerBean]

I already listed several lol you didn't even read my replies, apparently.

[Asker]

I don't see that you ever listed the so-called divorce indicators according to you. If you listed them and I don't see them then why don't you just repeat them here. I'm curious to know what you think these are sent. If they actually existed everybody would be talking about them. Please don't tell me body count because women lie about their body counts.

[LazerBean]

Don't worry I'll copy and paste them for you, since you don't know how to scroll up.

"@OP but it's not a 70% odd though, many factors change the rate. For example, *married men with a body count of one only have a divorce rate of 3%*."

"Ah, I see you're one of those snowflake libtards who hates statistics 😂 I'm glad you're not getting married then, y'all have extremely high divorce indicators. *Such as being hoes and fatherless* Please don't breed, since those things are unfortunately passed on in genetics"

There, I even started the important parts since you have a hard time with reading.

[Asker]

So married men with a higher body count shouldn't get married. Is that what you're saying? By the way, continue with your juvenile insults toward me, and I'll fucking block you.

[Asker]

Should say, "block you again." I've needed to do that several times in the past because of your mouth.

[LazerBean]

Yes absolutely, the promiscuous should not get married and marriage is not for them.

And you sure are trying to take the high horse for someone who is using a made-up statistic and has been called out by multiple people on this post for it 😂 pretty hypocritical and juvenile yourself, you don't happen to have a cat PFP, do you?

[Asker]

So, how is it that you expect men to discover the body count of women, given that women lie about it? Do you think you can stop attacking me long enough to answer that simple question?

[LazerBean]

I haven't said anything about a woman's body count. I've answered it literally twice already, but I will copy and paste only the very most specific part of what I said to answer your question.

married **MEN** with a body count of one only have a divorce rate of 3%."

[Asker]

Oh, I see. I guess what you mean is that the body counts of women don't matter?

[slatyb]

No, I don't. Far more often it's financial suicide for a woman who gives up her career to care for their children.

[Asker]

Yeah, that's because most women have such lucrative, important careers, don't they?

[DryGermanGuy]

... aaand the eternal whining continues once more.

[exitseven]

I know several guys that have good jobs that end up moving back with their parents or end up in a rooming house after they get divorced.

[MrChinaski]

Warren Buffet's first rule of wealth accommodation: Marry, once.

[MrChinaski]

Also, if you want to make an evocative argument, don't start with bullshit statistics. About 10-15 % of marriages end in divorce within 5 years, not 70%

[MrChinaski]

*accumulation

[Anonymous]

Dont get married then. Everyone wins.

[TonyMetal___1986]

Might be for some yes

[moddy_the_mod]

That’s not a true statistic.

[AgentG111]

Pre Nup!

[Asker]

A prenup is not worth the paper it's printed on. A judge can nullify the prenup with one stroke of his gavel, and when judges do this, which is very often, they usually do it in favor of the woman. Don't pay for this piece of paper that's worthless.

[AgentG111]

Can you cite proof of this? Was it signed by both parties and notarized and filed in court?

[Asker]

Cite proof of what?

[AgentG111]

A judge denying a prenup that was filed in a court and logged and filed properly

[Asker]

I have been in court when that happened to me.