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I've seen a lot of guys (and some women) justifiably calling out modern feminism and its hypocrisy. But I have a theory that rarely gets discussed. Old-school chivalrous men helped enable the very attitudes men criticize today.
Growing up, I was taught to never hit a woman. Even if she hit me first. Always pay for everything. Excuse bad behavior because women are "emotional." And basically kiss women's asses.
As I got older, I resented my parents for drilling these ideas into my head. Throughout my teens and 20s they often dismissed my experiences with selfish or manipulative women. Sometimes they even blamed me. It was as though women were helpless and harmless. If one mistreated me, somehow I deserved it. My parents understand now. But it took years.
Here's what I think helped modern feminism become so extreme: oblivious old-school chivalrous men.
Women from my father's and grandfather's generations grew up with different expectations. Men were supposed to provide and protect. Women were expected to reciprocate that respect during courtship. She didn't have to date or marry him. But respecting a gentleman was expected.
My generation inherited those same expectations for men while expectations for women changed dramatically. Suddenly being a traditional gentleman could be seen as boring or weak.
Yet older men continued raising their sons to put women on a pedestal. They taught us to excuse bad behavior and measure our worth by how much we sacrificed.
I think these men unintentionally created an imbalance they never saw coming. They taught unconditional chivalry without emphasizing boundaries or self-respect. They failed to recognize how much society was changing.
I'm not against treating women well. I'm against teaching boys that being a good man means tolerating disrespect. Chivalry should never come at the expense of a man's self-respect. Yet that's increasingly what I've seen over the past 20 years. Especially the last 10.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
Western Civilization has restrained the impulses of masculinity and placed men under arbitrary judgement by women, socially castrating males by government and courts. The consequence is low replacement rates. Rome followed the same model as our agricultural South. It led to the emergence of paramours and selective exploitation of women in prostitution and in servitude. Testosterone always finds a way. Feminism is deconstructing our culture and it will take some form of apocalypse to reboot social relationships. That is coming in this century.
I see guys pointing the finger at modern feminists. But they is the RESULT of men enabling bullsh*t decades ago. Sometimes is was done with good intentions. In a vacuum I have no problem with women being allowed to vote. But now they are voting in their OWN DESTRUCTION (supporting Islam).
Are you blaming MEN for Feminism? You are right. Unexpected consequences of our civility.
It sounds counter intuitive but men ironically enabled this bs. And it wasn’t always the “simps” either. So called hard ass conservative guys were infantilizing women and never holding them accountable for their sh*tty behavior.
It wasn't about any political ideology. It was about civility and respect. Sooner or later, we think ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT, and stay home or find rentals I, for one, went too far. They do not see civility as respect. They see it as weakness.
“They do not see civility as respect. They see it as weakness.”
That. THAT. That is EXACTLY where everything went off of the rails. And old school parents raised their sons to show chivalry / respect to women. But modern women see that as weakness to disrespect and exploit. Then those men got jaded and started “red pilling”. But there is a big risk of a red pill guy screwing things up with a minority of women (they do still exist) who actually appreciate that. Then those women get disillusioned. The race the bottom accelerates.
The original sin is modern feminism. But old school parents who raised their sons to be “respectful” are a major unspoken problem.
I see a lot of old school long time married guys who not until very recently don’t “get it”. It was primary reason I left my old church. The older pastor kept on bashing on single guys to “man up” but he was completely oblivious of what it really is like for single men in the modern culture. On the surface his criticism was right. But he doesn’t understand that young female attitudes towards men are the number one culprit.
Look at the welfare systems in America and the EU. What do you get when you give people freebies. You get people who want even more freebies. We held the door for the ladies, and they wanted us to lay down our cloak to walk on it.
@dargil biologically women generally feel less shame than men for accepting handouts. Because throughout history they expected men to protect and provide for them.
This entitlement isn’t fair or realistic at all in modern society given women now have just as many if not more options to advance their careers and make good money. But they haven’t evolved out of it. They don’t naturally feel the kind of guilt that men do for being a freeloader. They also don’t comprehend what actually CREATES abundance in the first place (sacrifice, risk taking and hard work). This why there are a lot more male entrepreneurs / inventors then women.
But again the “old school” chivalry the older generations have men have placed on their young sons unfortunately left many of them very naive. They get burned, justifiably bitter and then many turn to red pill attitudes towards women. The divide grows and grows.
But again I blame old school guys for raising their sons to kiss women’s asses. This isn’t happening as much as it used to. But my generation is still was the tail end of it.
In principle that’s how things should be. But you are dealing with large brainwashed percentages of women who don’t understand the concept of general principle. Rather they only care about what’s in it for them.
Yes, but it wasn't just chivalry. It was also the modern world men built for women, and men's willingness to stand by and do nothing while western women as a whole went off the rails.
Men built technology that enabled and encouraged the worst of women (social media, only fans, etc.). A few clever men hijacked the system against us.
Nope, it came from men and women normalizing promiscuity. Promiscuity breeds broken homes, broken homes create broken children, who grow into broken people. Broken people are usually promiscuous, and the cycle continues and gets worse.
You got a point there. But it’s even more complex than this.
For example why the hell are modern feminists supporting ISLAM which severely punishes (even executes) women for promiscuity.
But again I was raised to put women up on a pedal stool.
Yeah, it's very messed up and makes no sense. But again, I think that logic capabilities decline after generation after generation of broken families and all the consequences thereof.
I don't know, but women definitely don't like having a guy open doors for them the way they used to.
But older guys kept chastising younger men to do things old school because they were oblivious. Then young women see civility / respect as weakness and take advantage of those young men. The young men grew jaded and resentful.