My boyfriend of three years always adds girls on Facebook. I need some help and its urgent?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of three years always adds girls on Facebook and he doesn't know them. He said he won't delete them and it bothers me so much.. I tried to tell him about it and he said I'm only pushing him farther away... I live with this guy and he told me that if he wanting to get a girl it wouldn't be hard even without Facebook. He said I better get my emotions together before he gets home. I just believe a guy shouldn't add multiple girls and a lot of them are slutty if he does have a girlfriend. He just told me that one of them has me ruffled up and said that he only hits on a few (jokingly) This hurts me so bad that he doesn't respect me or care about me enough to stop adding random girls. What would you do ?

[TheDigitalSaint]

Seems like your boyfriend is seeking constant female attention. This is not a healthy sign. There's nothing wrong per se with adding girls to your Facebook page if you have some sort of connection to them as friends of friends. If they are just random girls out of nowhere, he could be trying to improve his online popularity, even if he isn't actively looking to cheat.

That being said, I don't think its a good thing, plus you are correct in being concerned. I would also ask why he finds the need to add all these girls? He didn't give you a straight answer which makes me question if he's happy with your relationship.

Aside from the Facebook issue, have you guys been fighting about anything else? How's the rest of your partnership together? The Facebook girls might be an outlet for his unhappiness elsewhere in your relationship, which is something that still needs to be addressed. Please give us more details as to your relationship and how its been going recently.

[Asker]

I'm not going to lie the relationship is very rocky but it just seems that he doesn't wanna try anymore and he's adding them so he can have back up. He told me that he wouldn't delete them because me and him could end any day. I also told him just because he gets a friend request doesn't mean he has to add them and he said yes it did. He also won't put in a relationship on his status because it causes too much drama he said and that it makes girls worse... I feel hurt and sick

[TheDigitalSaint]

Dear, your relationship is already over. You didn't post all the details in your first question because it hurt you too much to admit just how poorly things have been going. I understand, as when you've been with someone for three years, you don't want to give up easily. He's already making plans beyond you and doesn't even feel the need to hide it any more.

The only thing you can do is save face and break up with him before he breaks up with you. I'm 100% serious, this is the only way to go.

[TheDigitalSaint]

The man is advertising himself out there to random girls in the hopes of scoring one who is interested. He figures that you are still an option until one says "yes". His not putting that you're in a relationship with him on Facebook tells all. You must end this relationship at once and find a man who is willing to invest 50% and you can invest 50%, not like the total lopsided situation you have currently.

[Asker]

I understand I'm really just looking like a joke when me and him go out because I have seen some of those women out and I'm really tired of feeling insecure.. I just didn't wanna be overreacting but I definitely agree this just isn't a common problem this is something more. Thank You so much!

[TheDigitalSaint]

His behavior is completely unacceptable. Even if he no longer had feelings for you, it is still the mature thing to break up with you first before fishing around in the pond for another girl. You only allow yourself to be dragged around if you stay until he lands his fish.

Start this week by planning to move out and move on with your life. Get a checklist of things to do.

You're more than welcome for the advice. If you thought it was helpful, I would appreciate the "best answer" award.

[Asker]

He said that I live with him and that its easy 4 him to get a girl w/o Facebook (that was a sign as well to other possible things that are going on) I might not be happy in a relationship but I'm not that dirty... I should have left a long time ago I was just hoping for a change and it is NOT there I have to get my head straight and leave be4 I come home and she's with him or he finally admits it (that wuld hurt so bad and be so detrimental to my self- esteem) He tells me he loves me what a joke!

[TheDigitalSaint]

Pay attention young lady:

1. If you've been sleeping with him, knock it off right away. He very well may have cheated on you or is thinking about it. Your risk for STD's via another girl from your boyfriend is very high now.

2. Start talking to friends and family. Find someone who can take you in if you aren't capable of living on your own.

3. Take action, start working on a checklist of things you need to do to move out ASAP.

[Asker]

I did give you the best answer. Thank you for your time and I appreciate your advice and I definitely will leave before he makes me an even bigger joke...

[TheDigitalSaint]

Thank you.

Get on the phone right now and start making calls. The sooner you leave, the sooner you'll feel better and be in a place where you can find another guy who actually cares about one girl at a time, not one who is playing the field. You will find better men. A strong girl like you always does.

[rudy37lee]

Dump this tool. It won't matter who he's hitting on if you aren't dating him. You're living together and he still won't change his relationship status? He's obviously playing the field, which means he doesn't care about you enough to treat you right. He's keeping you around until the next best thing comes along, and you know what? He'll do the same thing to her, because he will always feel he is entitled to more. Karma will bite him in the ass someday. I hope he falls for a girl and she wants NOTHING to do with him. You deserve better, he's putting you down and that is emotionally abusive. Get out while your confidence and dignity are still intact.

[Asker]

This has hurt me so bad it especially hurts when he's adding girls that look like models(prettier than me). The jokes he makes also are so degrading towards me.. I hope karma does get him, he's never going to change and he acts like I'm just immature or he just states that my period is coming an I'm overreacting... he just doesn't take it serious, I told him ask someone and see what they say, it's just wrong to do that to someone you say you love...