What is the funniest joke you have heard, told, read, or made up yourself? (Page 2)

Question

The funniest joke that I have read is:Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls 911.He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

candyybear · Answer

"Did it hurt?" "When I fell from Heaven?" "When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down." .  I told this one to a girl I hate once, found it on Facebook :D

palek · Answer

Father O'Diddle was working at the annual bake sale, when he spied little Johnny standin alone in the kitchen and said, "Oyo little Johnny, won't ye pull down ye trousers!?, and little Johnny said "No soap! Radio! Ahahaha!

It's my favorite.

raccotaco38 · Answer

How do you catch a rabbit? rabbit bate How do you catch a fish? fish bate So, how do you catch a master?

toouglytobeloved · Answer

my fave is: 1) what do you call a gay dinosaur? ... megasoarass or megasaurus 2) what do you call a lesbian dinosaur? ... lickalotapuss

carinabina820 · Answer

Person 1: knock, knock. Person 2: who's there? Person 1: JOHN THE BAPTIST! (throws a TON of water on them).

PrettyMaMi2 · Answer

omg! your joke is so friggin funny! that's family guy type of humor! I love it!

MariaJ88 · Answer

Wait, I have one more... "Nickleback walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny." #Dave Grohl#

kereru · Answer

what has six legs, runs up trees and kills people? a pool table.

Anonymous · Answer

If you got  a p*rn convention, don't feel bad or embarrassed. Not when the guy behind you is buying a butt plug, a plastic weenie and a couple of ding dongs.

TheDisneylandSlasher · Answer

Two peanuts were walking down the street, suddenly one of them was assaulted.

DaveyYourFavey · Answer

Why don't Mexican schoolsshave sex ed and driving lessons on the same day? They have to give the donkey a break.

Anonymous · Answer

The lamest joke I've ever heard of: Why did A plane go behind a mountain? To change its diaper.

Anonymous · Answer

I ask someone if he bangs his girl on is period and his reply was "yeah I don't mind a little ketchup on my hot dog"

kriskiss · Answer

what did the ant say to the bear? I've been up your ass.

MariaJ88 · Answer

A seal walks into a club...

Lilbite · Answer

" Hey! Have you ever heard of the disorder called noassatall?" "What? What is noassatall?" No ass at all

CoverGuy · Answer

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after three hoes.

Anonymous · Answer

A kid and a child molestor are walking through the woods. The kids says, "I'm scared." The molestor says "You're scared? How do you think I feel, I'll have to walk out of here alone!"

blondfrog · Answer

There are way too many funny ones man I can't pick ^_^

Anonymous · Answer

The funniest joke I've heard... yeah I can't tell it.. I'll get in trouble. 0-:)

soccerguy90 · Answer

Justin Beiber.

99PROBLEMS · Answer

idk... i can never remember jokes :S

alltheabove1212 · Answer

The WNBA

thealphamaleishere · Answer

Fucking wooly mammoth. LMAO

Anonymous · Answer

inside jokes are the funniest

Anonymous · Answer

What do you call women's rights? A Joke. LOL

Anonymous · Answer

Lmao, made my day

What is the funniest joke you have heard, told, read, or made up yourself? (Page 2)

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.