I have been away from my ex boyfriend for about 6 months. He was the one who decided to end our relationship which lasted a yr. Even though we were technically split we remained in contact the entire time, which was odd to me. I have always known that he loved me, otherwise why would he had continued to call etc. OH and it wasn't for sex. (not active)
So about a wk. ago he starts telling me that he loves me and the he has always loved me etc and asks if we could get back together. Actually this wasn't his 1st time asking, I just denied him for the 6 months we've been apart.
So he came over last night, we bought pizza, fooled around a bit (NO SEX) and he spent the night. Now I am confused as to what working things out mean and how am I supposed to know if we are an item. How long does it take to "work it out." I don't want to be in some FWBS relationship because I am not like that.
So what do I need to look for. He tells me he loves me etc, calls me, does nice things for me but I want a COMMITTED relationship. Opinions please.
last wk. he told me that he would buy me a ring. it would be a symbol for how sorry he was for treating me. So yesterday I decided to ask about this ring and he tells me something about him not being materialistic and that his crying heartfelt apology should have been enough.
So to me that is red flag number 1. I refuse to be on a string waiting for him, so I need to know how long does working things out take.
Also should there be any kind of intimacy? Not necessarily sex, but kissing cuddling, rubbing etc. I am not in a hurry to rush the sex thing, because I am still a virgin. Also HE was the one who wanted to 'work it out." I didn't initiate it.
How will I know if we are moving towards something or if I am just on a string for convenience.
So about a wk. ago he starts telling me that he loves me and the he has always loved me etc and asks if we could get back together. Actually this wasn't his 1st time asking, I just denied him for the 6 months we've been apart.
So he came over last night, we bought pizza, fooled around a bit (NO SEX) and he spent the night. Now I am confused as to what working things out mean and how am I supposed to know if we are an item. How long does it take to "work it out." I don't want to be in some FWBS relationship because I am not like that.
So what do I need to look for. He tells me he loves me etc, calls me, does nice things for me but I want a COMMITTED relationship. Opinions please.
last wk. he told me that he would buy me a ring. it would be a symbol for how sorry he was for treating me. So yesterday I decided to ask about this ring and he tells me something about him not being materialistic and that his crying heartfelt apology should have been enough.
So to me that is red flag number 1. I refuse to be on a string waiting for him, so I need to know how long does working things out take.
Also should there be any kind of intimacy? Not necessarily sex, but kissing cuddling, rubbing etc. I am not in a hurry to rush the sex thing, because I am still a virgin. Also HE was the one who wanted to 'work it out." I didn't initiate it.
How will I know if we are moving towards something or if I am just on a string for convenience.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
A few thoughts:
Why did he end the relationship? Did he find another girl? Did you two have a fight? What issues or problems were involved? Are those issues and problems still important? For example, if he never wants kids and you want a huge family, you're both wasting your time.
Talk is cheap. He can say anything. Has he changed? How is his behavior different now?
How are you different? What did you learn from the breakup? What was your role in the relationship?
I recommend no sex for at least 2-3 months with this guy. That's a good test of his intentions. If you tell him that you don't want to cloud your thinking with sex, and you want to establish a non-physical connection first. his true intentions will quickly become obvious.
I will definitely take your advise. After what happened to our relationship I really don't have a lot of trust in him. He has not been this awful boyfriend, but at the same time when he broke up with me and began seeing another woman, that really hurt me. Then at the same time he was with her, he continued 2 call me. To be honest, I really don't even feel all in love with him as I was in the past. Hopefully my feelings grow.
Move very, very slowly.
I think that no sex is probably the best way to protect your heart. He might have changed -- but if so, his behavior will show it. He'll be willing to prove it to you. He'll be willing to compromise, and earn your trust.
Good luck!
I am going to do as you suggested. He broke up with me and he did find another girl. Why he broke up with me.. I still don't know. We did fight, but it was only because I felt like he never cared for me. Him and I live 40 mins apart so I expected at least 1 call a day, yet he never did it so I began to doubt how important I was to him. This is when I became insecure, because I felt like I put too much in and got little out of it.
You should def not hook up with him at all! Tell him that you will not engage in anything sexual until you two are in a COMMITED relationship. I would def tell him how I feel...dont beat around the bush. Tell him that you wante a commited relationship and you are not down for FWB. At that point he can either take it or leave it, you will see his true colors at that point. As for what working things out means, if he said that then I'm sure there's a pretty good chance he means it. He prob wants to get back together with you, but like the guy said below don't be so quick to jumping into hooking up. Also he knows your a virgin, that's another thing, GUYS LOVE VIRGINS, its prob even more of a turn on for him to know that you are, and would def give him an ego boost if he took your virginity.
Oh let me tell u. Every since I wrote this ?. I have not heard from him. I called him twice on Thur. with no answer. So I guess he didn't want a relationship after all. If he did, he'd be calling etc. I guess I am a fool again.
Ugh typical guy! seriously do not sweat it they ALL come back...and it seems like they always come back AFTER you've moved on..its like the have a 6th sense and know...the faster you move and get on with your life..i BET you he will be popping up.
I think that you've waited long enough for him to come around. If he wanted to work things out then he would have already made the first move in asking you to be his girlfriend or maybe even something more. You should keep your virginity its something special and he should be able to make up his mind about you. I would give him another week if he doesn't do anything by then then I think you should move on.