Has the no-contact rule ever worked for you?

[jericha17]

I was just wondering if anyone had any stories about using the no-contact rule after ending a relationship, and if it worked by getting your ex back! Thanks! (:

[Kittie]

It sort of worked, I guess? When you do no contact rule, you have to absolutely strict with it since if you act cold, spiteful, or keep informing them about that you don't want to talk to them out of kindness, they will have more resentment or feel eased into that this break up is final. One explanation that you need time and won't talk to them should be enough.

Yet I absolutely do not know when to stop since I broke down after 9 months (I was dumped without closure and was fed up of my ex trying to contact me all creepy-like, my curiosity on my side also ate me up inside). The rule was though after 9 months, people stop trying to contact you, which he actually did and I messed it up ha ha, but it was good since he wanted to apologize soon after he broke up with me and missed me. All my other ex didn't dare contact me but they did stalk me, hoping to be friends or get me back. I was very nice that made my ex's miss me, but I was emotionally unstable so they thought they weren't the one for me.

So unless your ex is the type that cannot live without the closure of understanding why you're okay with them out of your life, gets curious and miss your affection again, or hates losing their past possessions, no contact is not the main form of getting anyone back. It's to move on. If you're trying this anyways, break it before 9 months passes is the only advice I can give. If he still shows no interest it'll have to be years if he misses you again if at all (10 years was what my family friend ended up back with her ex again).

The main key ingredient for attracting your ex back is acting confident, stable, and loving to yourself and others. I wasn't good at hiding myself publically on the internet to the fullest extent and from mutual friends that when my ex lurked me, they wanted me back in their life somehow.

[BrighteyedAsh]

On the one hand, an ex and I followed 'no contact', I still missed him but came o terms with its end. Finally, (last year) I emailed him an apology for how we ended No cheating, but pretty abrupt because I felt like he was being indecisive (he was and was keeping us on 'hold')I called him and dumped him because I wanted to quit the drama and enjoy my present instead of waiting around for him to be ready. It got pretty drama because by the time I'd gotten there, nothing he could say could change my mind, even though I still cared. A lot.) Anyways, we didn't talk for about a month to month and a half at ALL when it happened. Both dated. I sent him a casual email. We agreed to have a catch up chat. Everything was really casual when BAM. He asked me back out right then and there. I was stunned. It wasn't my intent. I'd missed him but felt like he wasn't interested so I had no chance, and had come to terms with it.

Unfortunately, for entirely different reasons, we simply didn't end up working out.

But perhaps it can work if you come to terms with it first so that if you reunite you can consider that part 'past'. We did. Our split later was however basically the same without all of the drama. He got distant and I told him I didn't want to wait around anymore. So...perhaps history repeats itself. We're on decent terms now, but we're not interested in buddy buddy. We've done a few catch ups and they're light, not emotionally charged.

[Anonymous]

well we were never together, I just had a crush on him, more than a crush actually I liked him for yrs, and he played with my emotions and rejected my date offer, after the final year I got so fed up of the games and him just not caring about me, I felt rejected, then I cut him off no contact at all. at first it did work, he came running to me found me in person and I guess we 'talked' but then his ego and pride and anger got in the way and he just kinda took off? left me hanging. I was nice to him too. didn't contact me again and I didn't care either. I realized he never liked me for real he just liked the attention I gave him. he never contacted me on his own again. only if we ran into each other by coincidence he would just stare at me but he never said a word.

[gonyr]

its important to give the person the post-breakup space they need. fresh off of a breakup, there's a lot of emotions and a lot of thoughts and people may not be thinking completely clearly. give each other time to both calm down, figure out how you feel and what you want to say. if you get back together, great. it not than its probably for the best because that's what at least one person wants

if you get pushy with them and force them into a decision, they make make the wrong one for themselves, and they'll resent you for pressuring them

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

No. It generally doesn't work. It's right up there with taking a break. It's just stupid. I think the no contact rule only helps to get over someone. Anyway if it's over, it's probably best it's over. You're probably just going to end up repeating history. Best to let things go.

[Vllballgirl]

From what I learned, do it for two weeks. If he texts, don't text back. Then after the two weeks you can talk again only if you don't have that hopes anymore and itdoesn't hurt that much. It will make him curious in how you got over him so fast. Be friends, it won't go Nywhere if you don't talk. makes him realize that everything is still there&he realizes why he loved you..But then text him once in awhile, make him do the work in wanting to talk to you. I did this(:

[NoOneListens21]

Eh, lol. I guess it depends on the person you broke up with. Some people are harder to let go than others. So every situation was different.

IF you want to get over them do not ever talk to them til you know your feelings are gone for sure. If you talk to them before then or in the middle of trying to get over them then it's just harder and you get confused sometimes.

Hope it helps ^_^

[jericha17]

I don't want to get over him, I want to get back with him!

[ragazza91]

@QA I know how you feel. I want my ex back too. But he has not replied to my calls or text so I gave up. I figure well its done

[NoOneListens21]

Does he want to? Space usually gives people the time to either get over someone or miss them too much. So I guess it depends on how he is. Space is usually good to see how he feels in the end. After some time you could always ask if it's possible. Then again, it depends on how and why it ended.

[D-dude]

For me, it worked.. after sometime with no contact, she started calling me, and wanted to date again..

But it depends on what was the reason for ending your relationship.

[jericha17]

That's good to hear! (: The reasons are unclear we just kept getting into little arguments and then it just exploded at the end . The last thing he said to me was if time passed he would get over things and want to hang out again.

[D-dude]

then wait.. but don't wait expecting you guys to hang out again, always expect the worse, you may get over him and someone who makes you happier

[jericha17]

Okay, is there a certain amount of time I should wait before I just forget it? Thanks for your help!

[D-dude]

look, my advice is that you don't wait to forget, start forgeting while waiting...

[jericha17]

Okay, thank you!(:

[nobody21]

Yes I do the no contact and yes it works. It's the best thing but can be very hard at times

[Anonymous]

yep... I've had that rule because it was a really bad break up... but it didn't ended up well... I mean, the rule, because we are working on getting back together (but it's been 8months)

[6Paul11]

Usually an ex is an ex for a reason and I don't want to see them again. Getting back together is not an objective.

[Anonymous]

No. It did not work for me. After a few months I ended up sending a nasty email over Facebook because I was just so fed up of the bullsh*t he fed me while we were dating (I did not mean to cause any trouble just was very angry at that moment in time) and it still was not going anywhere (had nothing to loose anyway, roll eyes) then he blocked me on Facebook not long after that. Grr.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go with that "rule". It definitely helps in getting OVER an ex, but not in getting back together.

[jericha17]

so how should I go about trying to get back together?

[Opinion Owner]

Well to tell you the truth, break ups happen for a reason, so it's something you'd really have to think if it's best for you to get back together.

I suppose if you really wanted to, it'd depend on how things ended and what you're willing to do. Time to give each other space is good, then after a bit you can ease back into talking with him and seeing how things go from there.

[jericha17]

Things didn't end awful whatsoever, there was no abuse, no cheating, none of that. We just had a falling out. At first he seemed as tho he wanted to work it out but I think I didn't give him enough time to clear his head and I kept pushing him for answers. I really do feel like it's something we can get through, and I'm pretty much willing to do anything to have him back. Not just because I feel like I can't have him. I just genuinely love and care about him. Thanks for the advice(:

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck then, hopefully things turn out well for you!

[avans]

It worked for me and she said that I don't care about her that's why I didn't message her...but it worked and she messaged me

[es20490446e]

A person needs days, no months, to recover from an argument.

If you have to use the no contact rule, either you are too easy on dumping people, or hung on the wrong person.

[Anonymous]

No. I can honestly say that from experience. I didn't contact my ex in 5 months and I finally contacted him. He did not want me back. If he did then he would have asked me

[Anonymous]

depends if he finished it... might work if he had the last say. but if youve broken up because you cheated I doubt it will work

[jericha17]

I did not cheat. We just has sort of like a falling out, at first he wanted to work things out and I felt like I pushed him too much too soon to fix things instead of giving him time to clear his head I guess. It did not end on awful terms whatsoever but it did definitely end you know?

[Opinion Owner]

The no contact rule should work then... I hope he isn't stubborn, you could be waiting weeks for him to contact you!

[jericha17]

Lol thank you(: He means a lot to me and I care about him very much, so I wouldn't mind waiting around a little bit for him. I'll try to focus on myself in the meantime! Thanks again!

[Anonymous]

It works use the no contact rule. He will contact you cause he misses you. I did contact before it didn't go well it was just either doesn't contact back or just messing around

[Anonymous]

I did follow the no contact rule but not to get an ex back but to heal myself.

[Lentilsbrah]

lol who wants their ex back.

brbbound to be a future disaster

[Anonymous]

Nope. Looking back on it now, I am glad it didn't work.

[Doug8796]

Who broke up with who?