*I'm not being harsh on myself, don't give me compliments. Physically my face is not attractive because of an injury I had as a kid. *
With that said, I know I have a lot of thoughts and opinions that other people don't notice about situations. I think my brain is valuable but no one listens to me in real life because I'm not pretty. I want to make a YouTube channel because I want to make people think from other perspectives and notice smaller details they're not seeing when they blindly follow social groups, politics, fads, and religions without questioning. A lot of mainstream things have a lot of plot holes and I notice them when other people don't. Irl I'm told I'm being a buzzkill or am bullied for being a nerd. There are channels on YouTube that are completely dedicated to this type of deepdive or arguments and I want to do one, but all the girls have to be pretty. You never see a girls channel do this unless she's pretty. And editing software crashes my laptop. I can't afford a desktop so all I can do is post unedited videos. (And honestly trying to edit them just makes me feel insecure because I'm not attractive and I don't like my thick accent). Guys can be unattractive and not put much effort into editing and still get huge views and people listen but I tried being myself and a big creator started sending me hate mail and telling me to KMS and to fix my face before opening my mouth. So I still have no subscribers or views and now one large creator is obsessively harassing me about how ugly I am and telling people not to watch my channel.
What am I supposed to do? Is it really true that I shouldn't be on the internet having opinions unless I'm pretty? I didn't even say anything that wasn't well researched and fact based. I'm not even saying anything controversial. Should I just give up? I don't know what I'm doing that keeps attracting bullies. And no one is watching any of my content except for the one large content creator I mentioned, spamming me.