Outcry for Sexual Abuse Victims: Where's the Outcry for Other Abuse Victims?

[loveisbeautiful]

I wonder if the media and the world knew what they were getting themselves into when they let the allegations against Harvey Weinstein go public? After all, that is the catalyst that started this whole domino effect of men being accused, women coming forward and the birth of #metoo. I don't think anyone will debate that there is a lot of silent epidemic's or things people don't discuss out there (sexual abuse is one of those things). So, no one will debate that it's not a bad thing that it's being brought to the surface now. However, sometimes things with good intent can turn into something bad very quickly. I think this whole movement with sexual abuse is one of those things.

Now, I'm not saying anything bad about the victims or making light of what happened to them. I can't imagine how horrible that would be being put in a situation where you're vulnerable to someone else and you can't find any way to get out of it. That must be a horrible feeling and I'm very sorry to anyone who has ever experienced any type of sexual abuse. I'm truly sorry that happened to you and no one should have to go through that!

As I said in the beginning though, things with good intent can turn bad quickly. Now that #metoo started there's even more female solidarity and protesting and all that stuff. In all of that though, in all of those sea of women and women saying "it's good to see women finally standing strong". I wonder about the women who were abused sexually before this revolution came about or the women who are in domestic violence relationships or children who are neglected and abused or people who are bullied or men who are sexually abused. Where's their voice? If women want empowerment, shouldn't that go to all abuses not just the one currently in the spot light?

With that, here are some examples:

Example: The women who were kept in that house in Cleveland by that Castro guy. They were abused both physically and sexually, not just once but for years while being held captive. Sure, people probably were outraged then or happy to see them freed then but what about now?

They were strong, that man never broke them. They're scarred internally for sure but are healing. In this movement for solidarity and female empowerment, is anybody thinking about them and their bravery?

Another Example: Elizabeth Smart, she was only 14 when Brian David Mitchell kidnapped her from her home and raped her. Her being found was a miracle, at the time people were outraged and at the time they probably found her brave, what about now?

Her life is good now, it's nothing she'll ever forget but she's found happiness. In this movement though, is anyone thinking about her and what she went through at 14? How brave she was after all she had been through? Does anybody think about that anymore?

If you think that doesn't count then, what about all the young boys abused by Catholic Priest's? That was a big story once. I don't remember anyone praising any guy that came forward and admitted they were a victim. There were no revolutions or anything like that. Let me guess, you think it doesn't count because it's different for a guy, right? Well, imagine how it must be for a guy to be sexually abused by another guy that's guaranteed to leave a negative impact on them. So, how come no one cares?

You think female sexual abuse isn't talked about, do you really think male sexual abuse would be? I'd say probably not, you know why? Because a guy being sexually abused just doesn't cross anybody's minds, doesn't seem possible to them. So, for all those guys out there who came forward how come they are not talked about? Even with #metoo men are suppose to be sharing their stories as well, funny how nobody talks about them or their bravery for coming forward. There's no solidarity anywhere for them. Tell me, does that seem fair? I don't think so, they matter too!

Sexual abuse isn't the only kind of abuse women can face, domestic violence is another. How come no women have formed a revolution for that? Do you know how many women are probably being physically abused, a lot but no one talks about it. I would think if women are going to stand strong and tall about injustices they faced they'd include physical abuse in that.

Did you know the most dangerous time for a women in an abusive relationship is when she finally leaves her abuser? There's reports of many women getting attacked by the abusive guy they left, some survive and others unfortunately don't. I would say that's a pretty big thing to go through so why don't women rally around that? How come those brave women that survived and come forward with their stories aren't praised for they're strength and bravery? Why in this revolution of female empowerment do they seem not to matter?

I bet you a good portion of these women standing strong and tall are mothers. So, where's the outrage for child abuse (be it physical or sexual) and neglect? People know that it happens but I wouldn't say it's something people talk about often or it still wouldn't be happening.

I would think anyone be it man or woman who is for this standing up against sexual abuse, would also want to stand up against child abuse. I'm sure these people are parents so how come there's no revolution for this? Right now, I bet somewhere there's a kid just praying for hero to save them from the hell they have to endure but no one will come especially since no one seems to care. They should care, children are innocent and don't deserve what adults do to them!

What about bullying? There's many way's a person can bully someone so how come no one takes it seriously or seems to care? Bullying happens all the time but it's over looked or brushed off as no big deal but it's a huge deal, yet there's no revolution for this. Why is that?

So many young kids have committed suicide because they where bullied so badly, how come no one is trying to stop that by asking bully victims to come forward? You would think you'd want to stop something like that but I guess it's not deemed important enough to rally people to do something about it.

When I thought about writing this it wasn't to start trouble or cause a brew ha ha, it was to get people to see that as good as it is to face one issue, that doesn't mean that others should be lost in that. You can't pick and choose what forms of abuse are worth your time and which aren't. They are all a problem and all horrible things for anyone to go though. They should all be talked about! They should all be given time and attention, so why aren't they?

[Anonymous]

As a man who survived years of abuse- sexually, physically and mentally my story is not heard.
Once again women’s issues are treated as more important.

I get to live a life of women treating me like I was the one who suppressed them etc, paying for the sins of forefathers, AND deal with my own suffering.

But what have I done to women? I have not suppressed them, payed them less or treat them any differently then a man. I have not abused anyone. In fact I have supported women’s struggles the best I can.

I no longer know what to think. I’m labeled “part of the problem” and often treated as such. Yet I’m not.
It feels like my voice is meaningless.
So I get to be treated like I’m a problem.

So I, sadly, am losing faith in the ideal our society has of women, often trumpeted by women themselves. All I get is treated like shit and get to have my issues, important issues, ignored in favour the righteous suffering of women.

Then think of the children who suffer who get no voice. Once again women’s issues are more important.

[loveisbeautiful]

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that.

[somewheresomeway]

I'm sorry you went through that horrific abuse bro, especially the sexual part. I've had mental/physical abuse for many years being bullied as a kid. But took to combat sports to learn to defend myself.

Right now women are getting the best of both worlds: the old school paternal chivalry along with the special rights they are all screaming about.

They can only pull the rubber band so far until it snaps back or breaks. I think we are going to see more nasty side effects (false sexual assault accusations, more passive/beta men afraid to make a move, etc.) of this #metoo movement come to play. But it sucks for us guys living in this bullshit time.

[Wonderer89]

It’s so sad that instead of speaking up for the causes people are passionate about, raising awareness in an educated and well spoken manner and spreading the word to help others see what can/should be done for victims of your cause - you have to put down victims of the #metoo movement.
That their abuse isn’t as bad as the others you see, so the importance and attention should be lessened because you don’t place as much value in it against something else.

Fixing one thing; doesn’t take away from something else. There is no reason why you can’t stand up and have a voice for causes YOU support, without demeaning what other people have put value in. Many in the entertainment industry felt there was a problem; they’re speaking out against it in the hopes it will stop. Why on earth should that be halted just because there are other worthy causes out there when if more people got off their backsides there could be more change in the world instead of people complaining about something that effects people other than them

[loveisbeautiful]

I'm not demeaning anything, did you read the second part? I specifically said "I'm not lessening what they went through " and even apologized for the fact that they had to go through it. I even said it's a good thing it's being brought to the surface. So, how is an opinion about something lead to me putting someone down? I would never do that. I even mentioned the girls from Cleveland and Elizabeth Smart and male sexual abuse victims, how am I putting anybody down? I think all these things suck for anyone to have to go through and I would never lessen that.

[Wonderer89]

But you are. You’re saying where are these women’s voices when it comes to issues you care about, and that if they want empowerment they should speak up for everything, not just #metoo and that’s simply not true. We as people stand up for what we’re passionate about, shaming them for standing up for their belief and not EVERY belief is lessening the impact of their pain because you’re demeaning their effort.
You’re putting down the movement by saying there are others just as deserving so why don’t they get the attention - and sure they should. But why does the #metoo have to be called “good intent gone badly” for you to direct attention to your causes? Are you not able to get people to care without a popular hashtag?

[loveisbeautiful]

First of all, these are not causes of mine per say but things I know are out there but have never seen attention given to, that's why I mentioned them. Two, this isn't about #metoo it was simply mentioned in this take but it's not about it. Three, I was bullied and I know how much people don't care what happened to me and act like it's no big thing. Because of that, I would never do that to anyone else. I'm just not that kind of person. It's pretty clear you want to think I'm the devil and that's fine, just know though that I don't understand this world. What people do to each other, why things are the way they are, I just don't get it. So, when I write stuff it's to understand not to hurt anyone. I did not write this to hurt anyone, I wrote this because I just wanted to understand.

[Wonderer89]

Your causes = whatever you’re passionate about; I’ve used those because you’ve included them.
And I don’t think you’re the devil, I’m just pointing out that attention doesn’t need to be taken away from things you don’t personally feel passionate about - such as the #metoo because that’s what you have referenced - in order for people to stand up for something they believe in.
You could have written a take promoting your causes without implying another’s is less deserving of the attention, but then that defeats the entire point of your take and the entire point I’m trying to make here 😉
We don’t need to put down others to build ourselves up - and that goes for things we’re passionate about as well as personal behaviours

[loveisbeautiful]

That's not what I was doing. If you want to believe it was, I won't stop you. I would never put anybody down though, people have done it to me my whole life and because of that I would never do that to anybody else. I apologize though if it seems like that was what I was doing because that wasn't my intention.

[Anonymous]

This is a gross oversimplification of the "outcry" for this and other causes and an ignorance of the facts! If metoo is saying at the core that women and men should speak out and hopefully find justice, both Elizabeth Smart, and the Castro women have gotten that as much as is legally possible, and if you'll just pull up a few old newspapers, you'd see that both of those cases were in the news FOR MONTHS. And occasionally there are update stories in this or that magazine. So what are you talking about, there was no outcry? Smarts captures are now in jail and the Castro guy killed himself in jail. What more do you want? Do you want us to hunt them down and kill them with our bare hands?

You assume that in these two cases, they want to remain in the spotlight reliving their pain. Do you want to talk about your rape and captivity every day or be forced to be the face of a movement; at some point one REALLY does want to just move forward with their lives because a rape or abuse does not and should not define anyone.

Metoo works on the assertion that the person must still come forward on their own and they must mentally be ready to handle that and take all that comes with it. As far as other forms of abuse, I went to a school even way back when, that had anti-bullying programming and a lot of schools do now and have toughened up their zero tolerance policies in the wake of school shootings, and media outcry over terrible incidences of children committing suicide because of their bullies. The discussions are often ongoing, which I'd rather have, then just a 15 minutes of fame situation. Programs like "It Get's Better" have been going strong for years.

Let's be clear, saying "who cares about that" ignores the very people who stand up and out against the very causes you speak of. I don't know many people when asked, if you found out someone was abusing someone sexually or physically would would say, "I wouldn't care." I myself have had strangers stand up to overly aggressive men for me at clubs, so people care whether you personally see them doing that or not.

[loveisbeautiful]

Once again, how ever you were reading what I wrote was not how I meant it to be. People keep reading it opposite of what I intended and then keep throwing me in it, when it's not about me. I should of went with my first instinct and not written this at all.

I see things online and stuff making it seem as though these movements are a women only thing and meant to empower them. So, if that was the case I just wanted to know why they don't rally together for the other things that effect women but aren't talked (such as the things I listed). It's also why I mentioned Elizabeth Smart and the women from Cleveland , they all went through a horrible thing but survived. So, if it's about empowering women why not make them apart of that? That's all I was trying to say with that.

If the movement was solely based on sexual abuse, why not talk about all abuse victims (men and children) not just women? That's what intended when I wrote this.

[BaileyisDarcy]

If you want more attention brought to something, then bring more attention to it.

This is something that actually annoys me, complaining that one movement has more attention than another. Why does it have more? Because they asked for more. They brought more.

If you want to give a certain movement more attention, then create more attention, pull it forward, shine light on it. But do something other than complain that it isn't at the forefront of everyones mind.

It's also what pisses me off about men complaining that sexual assault on women gets more attention than sexual assault on men. If men want attention for their woes too, then match the amount of speaking up that women do. Men get less attention because their issues are seen as smaller than womens, because from the outside looking in, it looks like a smaller amount of men are affected by their issues as women are by theirs, because less men report, less men speak up, and more men crap on the others when they finally do put their hand up and say #metoo

[Obfuscate]

i understand exactly why you feel that way, but complaints like these are a way of bringing that attention... isn't this whole me two thing showing that when people see other step forward and say something and receive validation, they are more likely to do the same? i agree that "the squeaky wheel gets the grease", but i don't see the harm in using one issue to talk about related issues... what you see as a complaint about a lack of focus is in and of itself a focus on that thing... perhaps by phrasing it as disappointment in the short attention span of national media, it could have been phrased in a way more pleasing to you, but we all express ourselves differently, and there is nothing wrong with the underlying opinion... saying that victims are to blame for their lack of support is never helpful... "if only they really complained, people would help them"... all of that said, i really do agree... fight for the change you want to see in the world... step up, do something...

[Obfuscate]

so many typos... i should have reviewed this before posting it...

[Guanfei]

When men speak up, they're shut down because they're supposedly either lying, exaggerating, or trying to pull the cover for themselves. Just "speaking up" doesn't work, if on the other side people aren't willing to listen, which they don't right now.
The #metoo movement was never meant to talk about men and women, it was meant to be all for women and all against men. This is the reality. Try to speak about men issues, and see how much people care. That is, if they don't tell you to shut up first.

[BaileyisDarcy]

@Guanfei
That is NOT the purpose of the movement. Why do guys like you always think that any movement pushed by women has anything to do with stamping on mens rights to free speech and safety?

Honestly.

And speaking up does work.

How do you think blacks got the right to vote/be president? Or women the SAME rights? They spoke up. They joined together and spoke and shouted and kicked up a fuss until somebody noticed them.

Instead of crawling into your dark cave blaming women for your lack of voice, open your mouth and say something. You have a voice, you just haven't learned how to use it.

[BaileyisDarcy]

@Obfuscate but its not bringing light.
A four year old crying that they want a dummy, in a room full of people who dont know what that is, isn't going to get their dummy.

If you complain "well what about men"
The response isn't going to be overwhelming support. Its going to be, "What ABOUT men."
What do men need, what do men want, aren't questions people are going to ask when a guy complains that women get more attention. Those questions will only be asked when men stand up, and say look. We have these issues, and wed like this done about them.

If youvd been hurt, say something. All those statistics of women being abused? Those are only the women who spoke up. That number should be bigger, but not everyone speaks up.
The statistics for men? Barely even register compared to womens. Because more men will cry "what about me" than will actually say, "i have a problem".
Which is, in and of itself, the biggest problem. And guess what. Thats up to men to fix.

[Obfuscate]

right, but she didn't make this about men... men were included, but so were children and abused women... are you saying we need to chastise the children for not creating a movement? all i did was agree, yes people who don't like a problem should do something about it... and then i pointed out (the same way people are doing in other discussions about maltreatment), that blaming the victim is counter productive... i am not out to argue with you; it is clear you have your mind made up...

[BaileyisDarcy]

@Obfuscate
Children dont HAVE a voice, so of course they can't be blamed.

And im not arguing just expanding.

[Obfuscate]

i see... it can be hard to gauge someone's tone online... but the abused or vulnerable adults are to blame for not having a better support network? i don't think that advocacy needs to come exclusively from within... another good example would be the homeless men, if they gathered to complain i seriously doubt it would make any difference... i don't believe that homeless women ever organized to hold a demonstration for their shelters... people felt compelled to help them and organized these things for them... yes, there are people who work in shelters who used to be homeless themselves... i guess i just don't understand exactly... i do think in the case of sexual abuse, women are more likely to create a support network among themselves... there are a lot of social reasons that most men (even those that need it most) are unwilling or unable to do that... but i am not trying to talk about men in particular... actually, i can't think of anything additional to add to all of this...

[loveisbeautiful]

I'm not complaining. I'm just curious.

[FadedGrenade]

Hm. I do agree. The thing is, women's sexual abuse is treated more importantly than other abuse. I think that is very wrong. Yeah, it's great to shine light on horrible things happening so we can help them. But it should not be a spotlight that takes all the attention away from all the other horrible things.
This happens all the time but people don't even realise it. It also happens the other way around too, for good things that happen. For example, a popular musician will release a new album the same day a new, younger, but just as talented musician releases their debut. Of course the popular one will take all of the attention and money away from the new star. That's just natural.
Since this kind of behaviour is so natural, the question of HOW other abuse should be talked about comes into play. OP says, "They are all a problem and all horrible things for anyone to go though. They should all be talked about! They should all be given time and attention, so why aren't they?"
Amazing question, that I don't have the answer to. It is a natural evil in this world. No matter what, nothing will be perfect. We cannot lose the minority abuse within female sexual assault, but it happens.
But what can we do? Human nature is just that;Human nature. Hard to turn around.
I agree wholeheartedly with your outcry/myTake. I've been through many types of abuse outside of sexual assault. I think that at least for now, us minorities are going to just have to deal with being in the dark, because I can't see society caring about other abuse than currently. It's a sad thing, a terrible thing, but it will always be there. Very disheartening and unfortunate, but what can we do, right?

[shephardjhon]

you really think this #metoo is about helping women?
No it is entirely political. The right loved that a prominent Democrat Clinton supporter Wienstien was the one who was first. They hated alligations against Trump so they threw Winstien in their face. The left decided to cover it up by adding other cases and virtue singling, this despite knowing what was going on for a LONG time.
Now instead of specific cases being individually seen and judged, they are grouped together as #metoo in an effort to demonize men by the left and save their reputation. Doesn't matter to them how many innocent men are sacraficed.
As far as men's #metoo are concerned. Why would academic and political feminists listen to them? They are competing for funding. If any of men's concerns are listened to seriously, they would need to share funds, their papers would be scrutinized (you can't have research with sample sizes of a few hundreds representing the whole world, you can't arbitrarily change words from "rape" to "made-to-penetrate", you can't exclude parts of your data or ask biased questions to elicit only your desired response).
I really think more people need to play games like The Witcher and the original Deus Ex and its sequel and even Mass Effect, hell even the story of Black Ops 2. These games show the shades of grey that most mass media never shows. #metoo might be doing good things but it isn't as pure as you think.

[Anonymous]

Meaningful thoughts. Things go public and spread only if it involves popular people such as the ones in Hollywood. Media doesn't care about anyone else that suffers. It is unfair. How are women who experienced sexual harassment or whatever at work that much more important or interesting than any other problems that are happening simultaneously? Apparently, if something brings popularity and money, bring it on. If it doesn't, we don't care about you. What bothers me the most (as a man) is how nothing is being done about men who suffer one way or another. Only women are important to the media. Misandry.

[MarkRet]

The media jumps on the bandwagon of whatever's currently popular. That's why they're all over this #METOO thing. I wonder what became of that woman in Kenya who had her hands chopped of because her husband was pissed over her not conceiving any babies (the actual problem was HE was sterile). What happened to the husband? Did he do any time? I'll probably never know, because it's not a hot story anymore.

[loveisbeautiful]

That's horrible! I'm not really a news person, so I never heard about that. That's horrible though.

[MarkRet]

The story is even worse. When they were married, he was getting increasingly pissed off and abusive to her because they weren't having any children. They got checked out medically, and found out the problem was actually HIM! He was supposed to go to some clinic for some kind of treatment for sterility, but he refused to go, and became even MORE abusive to her.

She finally got scared enough that she went to her minister, and told him she needed to leave her husband, but he actually ENCOURAGED her to be patient, and stay with her husband. She went back, and not long after, he attacked her with a machete, gashing her head, and chopping her hands off. She managed to survive, but then her husband's side of the family actually trash-talked her, calling her a whore and a thief. The husband tried to run, but the authorities finally caught him. What happened after that? I don't know. The media was no longer interested in the story.

[loveisbeautiful]

Poor woman, I'll never understand how people can do things like that.

[Guanfei]

Let's be clear. No one will care about anyone, or anything, if it's not famous. Why do people cares bout metoo? Because it's all over the media, and talking about it, as well as caring, or pretending to care about it, is fashionable.
I know a lot about it, since i'm "lucky" to be a ugly shy ginger, which is like having 3 targets painted on my ass. No one ever cared about it, about what people would do or say to me, because it's not a famous cause. The effects are the same, but no one care if you stand up for people like me, therefore no one will stand up.

[DonRomeo]

Its because its not a female victim-culture issue that villifies men. This is.

[MlleCake]

Actually, women have been champions for domestic violence victims, child abuse victims, and parts of every movement speaking out about forms of abuse. Where on Earth did you get such a confused idea?

When we talk about one form of abuse in one moment it doesn't mean we don't talk about other forms of abuse the next. This is all part of the same dialogue fighting all human rights violations.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think anyone is trying to discount other types of abuse. There is something about bullying in the news every day, for example. There is talk about poverty and police brutality every day. There are stories in the news about child abuse every day.

Its just hard to talk about everything all at once. You just said #metoo is bad because it’s getting attention. How would it be better than not talking about abuse at all? One movement opens the door for others - it’s not a contest.

[Opinion Owner]

Instead of feeling jealousy, resentment and anger that someone is getting attention and sympathy, people should stand together. It happened in the 60s with all the movements - civil rights, women, lgbt, men’s draft resistance, etc.

[AynonOMouse]

Anything involving women is always treated as more important than men. (USA) Our society doesn't care about men and the media frequently ignores men's issues and moves on from them very quickly.
There are way more homeless men by far, but there are way more shelters made for women. Society doesn't care about men.

[ManwithaConran]

Same in uk. Emancipation and women's rights started here with the campaign for woman's suffrage and we've had it all - suffragettes, burning of bras, pink bra days, Race For Life, and it's great. Makes me proud to be British.

What is less great is anything that vaguely related to "the sisterhood" is bumped down the headlines. Race For Life raises money for Cancer Research UK but it is a women-only event. When CRUK tried to get a male equivalent going (the Bobby Moore Run) it was branded sexist, the media wouldn't support it and they had to cancel it.

As for healthcare & support, men are bottom of the pile. All the NHS Wellman Clinics have gone; you want a full Wellman health check you have to go private. There are no men's refuge centres for domestic violence and men calling on to helplines are often told "this is a women-only service, please hang up". There was a documentary a couple of years ago where they played recordings of inbound callers being belittled and it was disgusting.

[Anonymous]

A goodtake. The problem with the whole #metoo is the Hollywood celebrity connection to it. Basically hypocrites like Natalie Portman, Scarlet Johansen, Oprah, Meryl Streep, Rose McGowan, Whoopi Goldberg use it as a platform to virtue signal and as good PR.

[Opinion Owner]

Lol a doenvote from a supporter of rape and pedophillia

[scooogy]

On the one hand I can say that other forms of abuse correlate with sexual abuse, on the other hand I don't really think that bullying would count for me, since about everything on the list had happened to me, but I never really perceived them as such.

[CHARismatic110]

They are all talked about. You're seeing this more because this is what media is focusing to show you more of. Plain and simple. Media is the puppet master. We're all just puppets dancing on strings.

[lime_rampljuset]

Media is the strings, the puppet masters are the politicians and rich who benefit from what is happening

[Auzie]

#metoo has become a witch hunt for the man hating movement known as feminism. Where is the outcry for men who have faced injustice? No one cares about men’s issues in our gynocentric country.

[jacquesvol]

Sex is something 'hot' in the US, violence is considered normal.

[jacquesvol]

SEX SELLS

[razor97]

yes, if it's with consent

[jacquesvol]

@razor97 sex without consent still sells. Tabloids adore rapes and sexual assault

[razor97]

#StopHashtags

[Anonymous]

Nice Take.