Is this J Lo song "I Ain't Your Mama" sexist?

Question

J Lo got a lot of criscism over her song, "I Ain't Your Mama". While many people like the overall message of the song, which is the fact that "woman should not be obligated to cook and clean all the time for a man who disrespects them, and that the chores around the house should be done by both parties", others are saying that this song is blatantly sexist against them because there are woman who do the same thing (gold diggers). Listen to the lyrics of this song and tell me what you think. 😁 I'm not gonna give my thoughts on this one because frankly there are gonna be conflicting opinions.

Darkfairie17 · Accepted Answer

The song is definitely not sexist. It's not putting men down. It's just pointing out that women have choices. If they are working all day (which was the case of JLo's Character in the video) and then had a call from an unappreciative partner regarding some chores or something. That is being ungrateful. It's sexist for the anonymous (I'm assuming male) partner in the video to assume because JLO is a woman that she is obligated to cook and clean for him.

I've been in this exact situation before. It's not fun. Working long hours, while my partner at the time was unemployed (but had significant savings), and he would be sitting at home, making a mess of the place. I would come home and get berated about how dirty the house was, and how he was hungry. He was 30 years old, and could not make a meal for himself? But apparently that was my fault.

Also, he would refuse to help pay for groceries, meanwhile he has 15 grand in savings (yes $15,000 in savings!). I wasn't asking him to pay for them all, but he could help pay for some of them. But no, he would say he wasn't interested in buying groceries, then he would eat all of the groceries I purchased. Even worse is he would refuse to help bring the groceries up stairs (we lived in an apartment). I had to do that all on my own. And yet I was the bad guy because I would get upset if he ate my food and didn't help me at all.

I would also make lunches for both of us for work (once he eventually got a job), he would eat his as a late night snack, and then yell at me in the morning for not giving him my lunch.

Yes, I've been here.

This song is only calling out partners who treat their partners like crap. You aren't anyone's mother (the term is used because traditionally, women were the main caretakers in the house). But now that women are in the workforce, that has changed.

There is nothing wrong with being a caretaker and enjoying cleaning. If that truly is what makes you happy. The problem comes when a person is holding you to the standard, and does not have any expectations for themselves.

It's not fair to expect someone to do something and not be willing to do the same.

I think the reason JLO used the 50's inspired scenes was because back then women really didn't have that many choices. In the 50's there were literally job ads for secretaries that would highlight one of the benefits of working there is the possibility of marrying your boss. It's better now. But there is also still a lot of work to be done.

baepink · Accepted Answer

No I think it just saying too the men who think women are supposed to take care of them that was my first impression of the song. It may be a little sexist. (I realized most celebrities are feminists and democrats.) I think men and women have their own roles because I was grown up Christian. Women cook and clean keep up the household and men go out hunt bring back food do the heavy work. Now days people don't have to do much of that since we can just go to the store and buy are meat. I don't see why a man can't help out around the house sometimes unless he's busy working a lot.

LittleSally · Accepted Answer

Nope... At least I can't see anything sexist here.
Unfortunately, mothers do a lot - way more than they should most of the time...
And at some point - people are supposed to grow out of being helped so much and learn to do things for themselves. I'm guessing this was the point of the song.

itsallover · Accepted Answer

People really think this is sexist? It has a good message behind it, in my opinion.
I find it interesting how these same people will probably be quiet when the basis of a song is normalising rape and using women as objects... *sips tea*

hellionthesage · Accepted Answer

Yeah its sexist, its really getting tiring about this whole men are pieces of shit thing that is in every thing. You know its funny my friend watched the John Candy movie the great outdoors awhile ago. He was stunned because John candy played the father and at no point did his wife treat him like he was worthless in the whole movie, his children didn't treat him like he was worthless in the entire movie he was not portrayed as a bumbling idiot who was hated by his family and this actually surprised him. It just brings things into perspective you have to watch a movie that's nearly 30 years old to find something that doesn't belittle men and fathers. That's really quite sad. As for what the song is saying, the fact is women never had to wait on men hand and foot that's idioticly stupid, if we claim that we would have to state that women where maids but men where slaves as everything they did was for their families (pentionts where created so that a wife would have money after her husband died, it literally could not be cashed out by him even though it was his hard work and his money, without her consent) this is in fact provable even today as 80% of all domestic spending (US) is done by women, men are the primary bread winners they earn more on average and yet 80% of all money spent is by women and this doesn't even factor in the money men spend on women boosting that percentage higher. Yet society is fixated on women "having" to work but not men actually having to work. Statisticly men actually put in more work hours then women do, that's paid work and house work combined and men still do more so what is societies response? Claim women have it so bad and they shouldn't have to contribute. He works all day she works part time and we should think about how hard she has it and have men do all the work, and while where at it give women all the recognition in the world while he gets told how lazy he is (despite doing more). Its sexist and quite honestly sickening. I know a man who works 16 hour days four days a week then 20 hours a day for two then the last day is a ten hour day all to provide for his family and put his daughter through school. My only thought is that his daughter being raised in this society is probably thinking that he is a piece of shit because he is never around, she probably takes everything he does for granted, and why wouldn't she, every one else in our society does. In short yes its sexist but unsurprising.

Ray-98 · Accepted Answer

I don't get why people always see anything as sexist as soon as someone criticises the opposite sex. She is not saying all men are lazy af. She is saying lazy af men should get off their arses and not expect to be waited on.

Stop drawing the line between men and women and start drawing the line between what is ok and what is not ok.

Having said that, if you don't like it, do something about it. Don't pollute my ears with your moaning.

Mustachekitteh · Answer

No it's not sexist but people like to go around screaming everything is sexist.

AleDeEurope · Answer

A good way to determine if something is sexist is to switch the roles and see how people react.

I'm just gonna say the video clip is kind of stupid. I mean, the setting is like back in the 50's when most women didn't work, and were stay-at-home-moms, so of she doesn't wanna do housework cause she "ain't yo mama", what does she do? The man works all day while she's doing nothing at home? xD
Then when it comes to working at the fabric scene, again stupid. You're an employer, the man was the employee, what does that have to do with being no mama? XD

Nice beat, but sounds like another song of female empowerment... which in this case is more about conceitedness than empowerment.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

But... but... I thought women couldn't be sexist! Weren't only we men evil sexist pigs?

Anonymous · Answer

It's not at all sexist. It's a thing people say in everyday life. It's to do with a certain type of guy not about either gender. You know those guys who don't do shit at home and expect the woman to run around taking care of him making sure he's fed and clean as if... well, as if she's his mother. That's not a normal romantic relationship, it's a care giver and person who can't do shit relationship. She's not saying men are useless or anything about cleaning and cooking being a womans roll, she's telling her hypothetical useless lazy boyfriend to get off his ass, stop playing video games and tidy up.

Anonymous · Answer

I wish my grandmother had seen this video years and years back. Back in those times women were told what to do and they do it.

She always cooked for her husband, every single day. He NEVER got up to do it himself. I visited them back in 2013 and did not know that even into their 70s, she's still cooking for him. He will NOT fix himself something to eat, and if she doesn't fix anything, he'll just sit in the chair and get sick. They had to call the ambulance on him one night.

He's been fooling around with gold diggers, buying them TVs, and paying their phone bills. She knew about all this and would go to bed with a sick stomach for years. After his passing, she found a love note of his.

So, is this video sexist about convincing women who are disrespected to not do things for their ungrateful husbands, Nope!

ManOnFire · Answer

To be honest I have hard time taking J Lo very seriously. She did a song once that was supposed to be a comeback to men "objectifying" women in their music videos, yet she's objectified herself and other women in her own.

Frankly I get sick of hearing women whine about not wanting to cook or clean for men. Is it true that there are men who always expect that and are lazy? Yes. But is it also true that there plenty of women who are the same way? Definitely. Songs like these are basically an excuse for women not to have to do their part under the guise of getting at lazy "mama's boys."

snowangle · Answer

As someone who actually dated a guy who treated me like his maid/mother, I don't find it sexist at all. Some guys need to learn that cleaning is just something an adult does.

Now, if I'm a housewife, that's a different story. But I was working nearly double the hours he was and I still did 95% of the cleaning.

DaniaMQ · Answer

I honestly didn't like the idea of it. Because I dont agree with what she says, I mean yes, the wife should also enjoy and have a good time but its one of her "duties" as a wife to cook and clean (that doesn't mean she can't have a job) but seriously, i PERSONALLY THINK that its the wifes' responsibility to do so. I know I might get some downvotes for this but whatever xD

Stardust143 · Answer

Nah. It might upset some people who are into more traditional gender roles, but... "I ain't yo mama" 😛

The gender reversal of it reminds me of Ty Dolla $ign's song "Saved" with his "I ain't gonna save her" lyrics. Didn't see people bitching about that lol.

nalaa · Answer

Ya and there are plenty of songs about gold diggers, including one called "gold digger" by kanye west. Are all of those sexist too?
Sometimes are just personal expierences, without having any bigger meaning. Hers is about a relationship in which she feels her partner is acting like a child and not pulling his part. What is sexist about that

Oram52 · Answer

Well you need to keep in context. What she is saying she shouldn't have to both work and do all the chores at home. It would've been a different thing if the husband worked and she was house wife. It is clear then she shouldn't complain as he works and brings home the bacon.

But here both partners worked but she is obliged to do all the work and she is saying its just messed up and she's not putting up with it. I wouldn't call the song sexist but video was that "female empowerment" crap. Throwing food over his head breaking bottles crap like that.

Song is not sexist no woman has to mommy their partners they're grown men for crying out loud.

vishna · Answer

It's not sexist at all in my eyes. It looks like it's combating sexism women face, those strict gender roles (home body who cooks, cleans, folds clothes-basically acts like the man's her little child)
Like, how could this song be sexist against men? It's about a particular set of guys-the lazy variety (that's who she seems to be singing at...'singing'

AriadneSky · Answer

i don't see why mothers would be expected to cook and clean all day... most family subsist on a duel family income. the song is self refuting. she's evolved bc she's refusing to be his mama as if being a mama means you should be in chains.

i think its sexist but not in the way you were saying.

somebodysaycheese · Answer

I think what she is referring to is how women essentially end up seeing their partner as their kid because they take care of them. I feel like the chores thing needs to be figured out by the couple but i think her over all message is that women shouldn't allow themselves to be a fill in mom for their partner that they also have sex with. Which this is all too common.

anonman32 · Answer

Yes because women are so opressed and enslaved by men to do all these chores. I dont need a woman to clean my house and to cook my food. I can do that myself.

Reallio · Answer

My question is... why the hell is J Lo still making music? Isn't she like 50? XD Last song I remember her making is "On the floor". That was like 4 years ago.

TesticleMonster · Answer

i think its sexist in the sense that there is a huge double standard. women not only expect to find a man like their father, which is weird to begin with, but they seek for a man who can care for them, look after them, is financially stable, responsible for their safety and well being. they openly embrace being children, and defer all adult responsibilities in their life onto a man. and this song is only further evidence of that hypocrisy, because it comes from a standpoint not of emotional or financial independence, but of a complete 1 way street of financial and emotional dependence. its a song about not giving a damn thing to a man, but what you don't see is all that she's getting from him. and its used by a crutch for women who do the very behavior that they're criticizing.

Phoenix98 · Answer

O my another ridiculous feminism song by a liberal super rich celebrity who can afford to do anything, what a surprise.

Goldie757 · Answer

Why is everything sexist these days?  I think it was a bit of tongue and cheek. Come on who actually analyses Jlo's music?

madhatters4 · Answer

if the message is women shouldn't be obligated to do those domestic things then it's definitely not sexist. it only suggest that a woman should feel free to make a choice regarding her role in household

Is this J Lo song "I Ain't Your Mama" sexist?

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