How Can You Get a Shy Girl to Open Up?

Real-World "Shy Girl" Shares HerValuable Insight

I've seen a lot of questions from guys asking how they can get a shy girl to open up to them. Now it oftenhappens to me where I'm put in that shy girl situation wherea guy is trying to talk to me but I just get so shy that Ican't keep the conversation flowing or even relax and feelcomfortable around him.

Ironically, many of my friends would never be able to imagineme as a shy person, but that's because only certain peoplemake me feel this way. I started thinking, and I noticed apattern. I realized that the more confident and sure a person is of themselves, the more I feel shy and tense around them. Now don't get me wrong here, being shydoesn't mean that a person has a low self esteem. It can justmean that they lack some confidence or are quiet by nature.

The following information is more accurate when approaching agirl who lacks a bit of confidence, which is the case in most shygirl situations. She is afraid to say the wrong things in casepeople reject her.

But, what makes her feel shy?

When a guy approaches her with a lot of confidence, he alwaysseems to know what to say, is completely relaxed, that's whenshe can start to get really shy. Because he is so confident andsure of himself, it makes her feel very inferior to him and shebecomes very cautious in how she should reply/react. He seems toknow exactly what to say all the time, so it can make her feelnervous because she on the other hand, has no clue what tosay!

What helps me to open up and relax?

If a guy shows her that he's not a judgmental person, buta kind accepting one, and that she's not a nobody to him,then it would be much easier for her to be herself around him. Italso makes it easier if the guy notices what makes heruncomfortable and tries to avoid doing it around her and viceversa. For example: I'm health conscious, so if a guy talksabout smoking or wasting himself around me, that would make mefeel uncomfortable and I wouldn't know how to react. But, ifI like to play sports, talking about sports would make me feelmore relaxed, get the drift?

How can you show her that she can be herself around you and she doesn't have to worry about you rejectingor hurting her?

First, show her that you actually want to get to know her andthat you aren't just randomly talking to her. You can do thisby listening to what she has to say meaning youare giving her your full attention when she speaks and not alwaystalking about yourself. Please note that you don't want toput her on the spot too much, as you start to learn more aboutwhat she likes, if there's anything you two share in common,you might want to talk about that instead of making it all abouther or both of you. By initiating a conversation of this type, ithelps her to get more and more use to you meaning that shellstart to feel more comfortable and accepted around you.

Next, make sure that you don't gossip too mucharound her or speak negatively about other people.Speaking badly about others will make her very self consciousaround you. It tells her that you aren't a loyal person andthat you can easily turn around when she's gone and speak thesame way about her. This will definitely make her more consciousof what she does and says around you, preventing her fromopening up to you.

If she ever goes to say something to you, even when she juststarts to open up, if she changes her mind and says never mind,tell her that you want to hear what she has to say and ask her totell you. Be careful though; don't be too pushy about it. Ifafter a couple of times you see that she really doesn't wantto tell you, just let it go and assure her that your all ears ifshe feels like telling you later. Usually, she does this becauseshe wants to tell you something, but is afraid to because of herlack of confidence. If you do this, it can help her feel morecomfortable talking to you.

Don't make a move too fast. Shy girlstake time to adapt. If you ask one out on a date right when shestarts feeling comfortable around you, she most likely will havea heart attack! Do fun things with her first and then if youthink she could be a potential girlfriend, then slowly starthinting things to her. This way, it will give her time to startconsidering you as more than a friend and then later when you askher on a date she'll be ready for it.

OK, so I know what you are all thinking. Is itseriously that much work to get a shy girl? Is it evenworth it? Well, yes, and no. Every girl is different. Somerequire more work than others, just like some are more of a prizethan others. But sometimes, you don't know what you can getunless you try. The best girls are often the ones you have towork the most for. The process of it all can be very fun andexciting anyway.

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