What do guys think about shy girls?

I don't like them. I mean, it's not like I *dislike* them but it's kind of hard to be open to someone who is closed, if you can get what I mean. It feels awkward.

I remember this shy girl from a year ago in school, I was just doing my thing in class and I was in a good mood that day so I was sort of spreading the cheer so to speak and being playful and joking around, and somehow I could sense that she liked me - I was sitting in front of her and you know when you notice someone who likes you it's like you can feel their warmth radiating toward you, sort of weird but that's how it is. And then after I got that feeling she made a joke on top of a joke that I made and sort of smiled at me, so I figure - hey, great.

Well, I asked her if she wanted to go hang out and she was like "ohhh my god I can't believe *you* would want to date *me*!" (please don't ever say that, it makes me feel like you're somehow inferior to me, which is just f***ing weird!)

I was trying to relate to her and she was sort of closed off - not as engaged as I was, and it just felt like I was doing something wrong. After a while I kind of gave up.

Writing this now I realize maybe I would have gotten along with her better if I slowed down a bit and sort of gave her more room to *be* shy, and things would have worked out better.

On a more serious note, you need to know that shyness is not an inherent trait, it's learned behaviour. I've watched as my nerdy friends, both guys and girls, transform from their nerdy personas in highschool to very popular and well-liked and successful individuals once they are about completed their university careers.

In my opinion shyness is caused by an aversion to risk and a general fear of life. It's a bit of a catch-22 because you can't get over your shyness without confronting it, and it is the very act of being confrontational that defines you as a person who is anything but shy.

You are like me. The problem with us is we like never start a convo. This is a problem. Especially at your age, and mine too, we need to try to start doing this. For me, a shy guy, I would almost rather go out with a shy girl because there is a better chance she hasn't gone out with anyone before like me. The problem is the people who haven't been out with anyone before might make good matches because they are both new to the whole thing, but the problem is people who have never been out with anyone before are usually shy.