Im just wondering if its bad that I'm a shy guy and won't really talk unless spoken to? Like it feels most people are pushed away by it cause of my poor socialising skills cause of anxiety...
I hope they don't think we're not appealing. Sometimes I think the good looking attractive ones often don't give us a second glance in 'that way' that I wish they would: it can be tough being a shy guy, but it's something I've accepted. Acceptance to me is better than denial; if you wonder why I sound a little defeatist. I'm just being a realist to myself at least. I don't want to lie to myself.
Some girls like shy guus, some girls don't. Anxiety sucks, but its a part of who you are. And it's not a deal breaker because a lot of women also have anxiety and Probably even more than men. Just be yourself, continually strive to better yourself, and you'll be fine.
Shy guys can be attractive bc you're always wondering what they're thinking since they're not exactly readable. I think they're great but not to be that quiet either are you the type that is shy at first but then once they talk to u you're social?
Ohh okay then that's great the only hard part would be w/ the girl approaching you since the majority of us don't really approach / start convo first. Best of luck !!!
Just try going a bit out of your "comfort zone" & test it out how it feels :) it'll help make more friendships that's the first step to the relationship afterall
Its not even a relationship i want just friends i can hang out with but with my anxiety i can't go out on my own for 30 mins before getting an anxiety attack 😣
Hmm, but that's annoying if we come into them, particularly if she's way gorgeous, only for her to say she's not interested and get shut down. Lol here I am showing I'm brave enough to approach a girl, and she just flicks me off. I totally understand if it's about looks, but it certainly bruises my ego if it's for the 'way' I approached a woman and not for looks, I can accept I have average to poor looks. But at least I tried character wise to flirt/or plainly ask her straight up, I'm keen. And still get rejected. Sigh.
I dont mean just that way tho i have been cheated on a lot in the past so now even approaching girls terrifies me and i just try to do it a little as possible cause of this
I know, I've had the same thing occur with a shy guy I kept talking to. He never talked to me on his own so after a while I stopped talking to him. After that he'd look at me with a look of expectancy of me going over to him and talking but I never did again. I felt a little bad but it had to be done. I felt rejected since he never initiated a convo with me. He always seemed happy to be talking but I always wondered if he was pretending.
There's nothing wrong with being shy, I'm shy just not as much as I use to but don't have that "I only speak to people I know or when spoken to" attitude if you want to expand your social circle. If you seem like you don't want to be bothered then no one will... I found that out the hard way.
Yeah i mean i do smile a lot and always have the approachable vibe to me tho i feel like when i go to talk to others the convos always end up like "hey", "how are you?" And "good to hear" then just awkward silence for like days, weeks or rarely months
Lol the guy did smile at me too but he never tried to talk to me first so I gave up.
Saying hey how are you is a start! Later you can ask questions to keep the convo going such as asking about their weekend (I personally don't like that one since I'm a homebody and always say not much then I feel like I'm boring but anyways...). If you're in a school setting talk about the class, hw or the next exam. Saying "Are you really for the exam " always works but I'm in college now, and students actually care to talk about it. Sometimes a study group forms.
And a convo doesn't always have to be long, an "awkward silence " isn't necessarily a bad thing. Like with friends and family there's sometimes a long silence but it doesn't feel like they're judging or anything.
Well as for me im not in school no more instead i make music, play video games and watch anime like a complete shut in 😅 any tips on how i can keep a convo going without sounding weird or boring?
Oh wow, I'm not too familiar with making friends outside of school 😅 I guess you should find like minded people who enjoy playing video games and anime. Maybe go to the music, game store or library instead of buying online. You don't have to actually buy the game or music just look and ask questions. You won't sound weird or be boring if the person shares the same interest as you! Hopefully they aren't boring either
No problem 😊 Last year I read a book about introverts, it helped me be less ashamed of being shy. I forgot the title but I got it at the library and it made me worry less about being "boring" . Good luck and don't give up!
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Anonymous(18-24)
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