the relationship has been good, but there is no trust. he is currently not talk to me because he is mad. I thought he was falling in love with me, talked about how when we would fight and we didn't talk " he couldn't sleep for 3 days and would nearly go insaine". yesterday he got mad at me because I went thru his phone (long story). he won't talk to me even tho I text him that I am sorry and blah blah. We only been together for 5 months (seem small but we spend every waking moment together so we got really close) and we have had so many fights. Usually only last a day or so but a few have last a whil elonger. He says every time we fight I push him away, even though I don't mean to. Sometimes he doesn't even trust me, so its two sided. I feel him getting distant and I know its going to end. But I don't want to feel that "numb cold feeling" when someone tells you they don't want you anymore. I don't want to spend nights on end thinking about him and crying. I don't want to feel empty inside. I don't want to have to think about what he's doing , who he is with, and if he is thinking about me, when he leaves me. I don't want to be so sad that I can't eat for days on end. I don't have any female friends so I know when the break up comes its giong to hit me really hard. I won't have anyone talk to . I know its coming, my intuition tells me so. I don't know but I have a habit of pushing men away. I guess I kinda figure " who could ever love me", I mean other than fall inlove with my body and looks. I have a terrible past and a lot of times it affects how I view men. I know it has contributed to these problems we have. I tried calling him to talk to him and apologize, he won't answer. he 's moving further and further away from me. part of me wants to just never call him again, because I don't want to hear him say the words. they will cut through me like a knife. Part of me wants to hold on to the end, even though I know the break up will be horrible. I've tried to sit down and tell him how I feel , but he doesn't understand me. I tried to tell him of my past and explain why sometimes I act the way I do, but he says the past is irrelevant ( rape, molestation, and numerous unfaithful boyfriends that have put my ability to have children in jepardy). My heart can't take another horrible break up what do I do.
This my be hard to hear, but I really think you need to break up with him. Trust is a necessity in a relationship. If you don't have it, and you see the end coming, you need to cut it off. Yeah, it's gonna hurt, but it's for the best overall. It sounds like this guy is going to keep bringing you down with arguments and misunderstandings. You don't need that in your life. You need someone who believes in and trusts you, and vice versa. And waiting until the other person gives up when you can already see the end coming is a BAD thing to do. Letting go and moving on to something more fulfilling and trustworthy well be a lot better than living in this broken relationship because you're scared.
If you have no one to talk to, turn to a therapist or a forum online somewhere. Write out your feelings, talk it over with yourself if you have to. It'll be worth it in the end.
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 2 months ago
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