How do I let go of my child’s father who relapsed on meth?

[prettygrlroxi]

My sons father is a drug addict, i recently found out he relapsed and is now on meth therefore I had to make a hard decision to leave him. He’s staying at a extended stay and when we talk he doesn't even talk to me the same anymore. He’s extremely distant and cold and whenever we would schedule to hang out with me and our son he bails saying he’s still working and won't be able to hang out which never stopped him before. I don't know if he’s ashamed or just feels like he has no use for me anymore now that i know about his relapse and won't tolerate it but it hurts so bad.. he won't just flat out tell me he doesn't love me anymore or care about me or his son but his actions dont tell me he does either … i feel like i lost him or never truly had him to begin with and it hurts so bad.. i keep reaching out to him to let him know i love him and he can beat his addiction with help and he keeps pulling away. I hate this so much.. how do i get over him or at-least let him go? i keep trying but trying seems to only hurt me in the end

[Telekinetic-Potato]

My friend is going through a similar situation. She's been trying so hard to include the guy in the kids life. Her situation is hard because the guy is a loser but a good father. But I think in your case this is a cut your losses kinda deal.

It's not like he can't ever see the kids again. But maybe it should be a conditional thing or at least put into an infrequent rhythm.

A kid I grew up with had no father because he was violent with his wife and had to leave. And he hates that the parents talk friendly on the phone to this day.

Just keep in mind, kids process way more than they let on. I remember being 7 years old and this kid wouldn't tell me but it's only from looking back I can say he definitely understood what was going on since way before then.

[Master_Debator]

5 stages of greif happen... sounds like you've already reached acceptance. The dude is gone... even though he's not physically. Compare it to a death. That is the process you're going through even though it's more complicated than he was hit by a train.

Think about the kid and move on. That is my advice on this. You only drag yourself and the kid down each time you dip your toe in that pool. Learn to hate his affliction more than him. Forgive him as a weak human, but hold onto the hate for what has destroyed him. Punish... go for child support and anything you can get out of it. Even if he strightens out the underlying problem will still be there. Your kid doesn't need that shit. You don't need that shit. Just stop trying to resurrect him from the dead.

[LiamS95]

Addiction is a tertible thing and becomes sn unvonttolxble disease. The onlh one thst can fix the oronkem is him eith the right professionsl support. He most likely He is proving that he doesn't really want to fix the problem. You'll be making the right decision if you lesve him and move on with your life and give your son a better life and future too.

[Staximus]

Sounds like you need to pick better guys unless you like jailbird tweakers

[NathanDavis]

restraining order