How do you stay calm and compassionate through divorce and major life stress?

[lightbulb27]

This is an example of... something went very wrong emotionally... a divorce and custody that resulted in children without solid parents. The children just lost everything...

Because of... we don't know what... disagreements and stress.

"When people lose everything... they lose it!" is a classic wisdom. People, some, don't handle loss and change very well. It can be very painful... resulting in high risks. Lawyers don't make it any better do they?

GAG is filled with examples of people in difficult relationship situations, breakups, get togethers, rebounds, divorces, marriages, difficult inlaws, etc.. Relationships need a lot of support, care, compassion... good fortunes and positive vibes.

Keeping a cool head, realistic, but with compassion and empathy... if you have it, can be helpful?

https://www.foxnews.com/us/las-vegas-man-kills-ex-wife-her-husband-grocery-store-amid-child-custody-issues-police?dicbo=v2-etFTKn5

I hope my change this week involves getting a different pancake... a blueberry one. That's the level of change I want. Sometimes we don't get to choose our stressors.

[ohsheeT]

Well shame on the parents. And there EGOS. Because that what it's all about

In stead of saying hey look we are both unhappy. We have a child together. And just because we split. We can't lose focus on our child our child comes first. We still need to raise them to be better than us.

And if your fighting in front of the child all your doing is teaching them if your Un happy in a relationship argue yell scream bitch bark and bite so when they get into a relationship this is how they handle it you can't do that it's one thing that you guys can't be adults that's another thing that you teach your child the same thing is wrong you need to step up and step out of the whole thing and quit thinking about yourselves and think about your children if you have a girl she's watching her mother take garbage from her dad so she thinks that when she's with a man that's how he will treat her and if a man has a son the only thing you're teaching him is when he's in a relationship to yell scream at his girlfriend or his wife because he has to be right there is no right there is no wrong it's called balance it's called grow up and raise your children right it's not about you guys anymore it's about your children get it through your heads that you're going to start seeing other people get it through your head you cannot be jealous because then that's what you teach your children too it's time to grow up your kids come first and in today's world that's very important

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

I removed myself, completely. Didn’t have children so i just let the lawyers have the arguments.

I didn't talk to her from the moment I found out about the cheating until a decade later and didn't entertain any "explanations" even then. I was cordial but left her behind again as she tried to engage in a discussion.

Once a decision is made, the relationship is done. I dont understand why people put themselves into the position of constant drama and arguments. Best to get past it fast and just move on. Even nearly 40 years later the ex still pops up now and then begging for another chance or closure discussion. Makes no damn sense.

[lightbulb27]

Thank you for the real world reality and I'm sorry to hear about that offense, but glad you survived. You handled it as well as anyone could.
Yes, some people will stand and fight it out.

[Jen_oic]

I have never been through a divorce but my advice is to pray 🙏 about it

[lightbulb27]

pray definitely help. but there's no way around it's painful if not done right... especially the issue with kids... as you see in the article.

[Jen_oic]

I’m sure, keep me updated

[lightbulb27]

I'm not in a divorce, we are happily married. IT's more general question given above situation.

[Jen_oic]

@lightbulb27 okay, thanks for letting me know

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

🔷 "Sometimes we don't get to choose our stressors."

The very principle of birth actually.

It is very common to be thrown out of the wrong womb, at the wrong time and in the wrong society. It's much easier to stay calm and compassionate, later in life, when you popped in an environment that was nice enough already.

[lightbulb27]

yes, it's easy when it's easy, and it's hard when it's hard.

[exitseven]

I had a period in my life where it just seemed like God was using me for a chew toy. I wish I could tell you how got through it but honestly I haven't a clue.

[lightbulb27]

that does happen. it's great when it's over...

[NathanDavis]

not something I've been through

but why would you be angry and ruthless?

[lightbulb27]

Diff personalities and their ability to process the loss/change/stress.

[NathanDavis]

sounds like a terrible relationship too... I guess

[NathanDavis]

don't they have counseling/therapy for that?

[lightbulb27]

it is amazing how people can court, date, marry, have several kids... and then it goes very bad. And that happens a lot.
Sure, therapy isn't very effective at times especially couples becuase it's finger pointing. real work is hard.
People are not always rational. this couple above went through divorce and "fighting" custody. Lawyers. Battles. Being separated from all you may know. It is a terrible idea to create so much division. Not to put this on the woman but I've heard this from my wife... it's the wives job to make that family work. She humbled herself many times for the sake of the children.
I don't know the scenario above, it may be he was dangerous person, like I've seen where the guy becomes addict and it's very bad.
my rule is no drugs... that prevents a lot of problems.
maybe no guns at such a time is a good one as well...

[ChadThunderCack]

Most divorces are initiated by women who want to go out and fuck other dudes or have already cheated on their husband. They saw him as nothing more then a pay check and a retirement plan. So. Fuck no!