An affair with a married man?

Putting aside any comments on morality and integrity (since the 18-24 crowd seems to have that handled.) My questions to you are 1) Why so many details? Something isn't right there. and 2) You posted a similar question 7 months prior to this one, with most of the same information. Why?

Okay:

1. Do you think having an affair and causing pain to his wife (and if they exist, kids, and grandkids...how old is this dude anyways, 70?) is something to be proud of or something to be ashamed of? Is this something you want your friends and parents and kids (if they exist) to know about you? If not, this is something that hurts your pride, your self-image, your integrity, and goes against your values. Why would you want to do that? (I know the attention is enjoyable, but I mean when you think of the bigger ramifications, why?) Because if you have these morals (enough to keep it secret) then you WILL feel guilty, and ashamed and bad. AND you will have proven yourself unkind, deceptive, and hurtful.

So you'd be happier in the long run not having an affair. So that's my recommendation.

2. Your question is the name-droppingest question I've seen on this site. Not that you "dropped names" but that you totally seem to have populated it with all sorts of tangential lifestyle details unrelated to the question of "having an affair." Why?

Why are you making sure we know that you're on a "board of directors" and go to Europe and hobnob in New York with political candidates and wear an 18k necklace and patron Starbucks and have a $100,000 k job offer on the table? Does any of that change anything about how good or classy you truly are underneath?

Because we can tell the actual caliber of your morals and ethics, based on the other details of your story. You are considering turning into a MUCH lower-class person than the homeless woman at least doesn't hurt another peoples' families due to her personal indulgence. So don't do that, and retain your pride.

So I'm thinking you're overcompensating for guilty feelings here. You have a choice to make about whether you have integrity and pride or do not. And your job and money and jewelry won't ever get you back your integrity once you choose to throw it away.

Don't do it! I don't give a rats ass if you are rich as Oprah! Run and Run like the wind. This is a game you are sure to lose my friend. You sound like you got it going on, there are plenty of men that will appreciate your good style, taste and moolah. They will be able to bring that and more to the table. This guy is just having fun with you he don't love you if he did, he would respect you enough to do it right, if he is unhappily married, then he would divorce the wife, take time to heal and then approach you as a whole person of sound mind.

Someone once told me, "If he'll do it for you, he'll do it to you." This is not a guy you want to get involved with. If he's willing to give up his relationship with his wife to be with you, don't expect him to stay with you when another woman comes along.

please don't it will cause a lot of pain in your life, and in his and his family

Believe me, woman to woman from a woman that has been there . RUN ! Men who will disrespect and cheat on one woman, WILL CHEAT AND DISRESPECT ANOTHER WOMAN !
I was 23 years old, when a 44 year old physician told me how beautiful and smart and sexy to him, I was . I had come from a verbal abusive relationship with a man my age, so this mature man, gave me a lift . I was walking on air, like I never ever did before . Now 26 years later, I am a burned out 49 year old . I sold my soul to a serial cheater ! CHEATERS have a power, sexual identity problems and greed . They want it all . The perfect family man, mind you, you will never serve to be this, because you are the OTHER woman . No matter how unhappy and mistreated at home he may be . If he is so unhappy, get a divorce and look me up then . His wife will come first, especially if there are children ! I listened, I can not divorce her now, my daughter is in collage, I don't want to upset her . Now it is grand children that he doesn't want to upset . 15 years ago his wife moved 200 miles away . We are together everyday, except Christmas day, Easter day, Thanksgiving day . I spend them a lone, too ashame to have family wonder where he is and why didn't I go with him on these special holidays . You know what finally made me leave him, I found out they were going to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary and I plan to be gone when he returns . We have a history with family pictures, his sister and brothers would eat with us . We exchanged gifts . Then a year ago, they stop doing anything with me . No contact . There was a loop I had been in for 15 years and now was out of it . I died all over again . I am dying now . The pain of loving, trusting and believing in this man . And guess what else . I found out that he had been saying the same sweet lines to four other 23 year old girls, none of them knew about each other, and I didn't know until one called our home phone . Oh, yes he lived with me, but he was on call for his daughter and (I didn't) wife . She didn't care what he did as long as kept up this picture of a perfect family . I realized, way to late, that he doesn't love himself, so he can not love another . He has to have the family for the world to see, and the almost 40 years younger girls for him to feel powerful . Because young girls believe his bullshit, just like I did . Oh, one other thing, cheating me look for woman with issues, like you come from child abuse (I did), or physical abuse, or low self esteem, or no self confidence ! See if you were healthy and respected yourself (as I failed to do for me), you would not give this man one second of your time . And married men KNOW this . They can see us a hundred miles away . And those little moments they share, lifting our soul and very being- is their way of playing god with our life ! Sweet Heart, please run . I share this fact with you from a life gone . What is wrong with us, women, we don't protect each other ! Let him divorce !

Why women can't control themselves nowadays? They seem to be losing their integrity and morality .... think for a moment if his wife were you? How would you feel if you find out your husband is doing that? I am sure you would be cursing and blasting that "woman" right? I know it could be difficult and that when you like someone, your brain blocks and you can't think clearly and lose any judgment .... but you could get back and wake up and think like a rational person NOW......

On the other hand, the guy seems that he does not want a relationship, just an affair, just like you said and seems that you accept it and willing to do it.... that's really up to you.... but at the end, the only one affected would be you.... have some respect of yourself so that maybe someday you would respect others and appreciate certain values... maybe you think what I am telling is all crap to you, but is true and I have given this same advice to many of my friends..... whatever it is your decision ... think about the consequences ..... I mean you are not a not an adolescent, but an adult that hopefully have gone through life and different experiences ....

I am not here to judge you or anybody, just giving my honest opinion .... I would say this to anyone.... and thanks for sharing your doubts with us and asking for inputs....

1) What comes around goes around. If you get married or at least find (your own) man who you love and are in a relationship, think of some little hussy trying to do what you're doing. If you don't like how that sounds you should leave him alone.

2) Just because he TELLS you he loves you doesn't make it true. Men will say anything to get them panties. If he loved you, why does he come home to his wife every night?

So my advice is, don't do anything with him and don't be around him.
3) If this guy is your superior and can affect things like what job you get and how much you start out, it's not good to start sleeping with him. What if he gets mad at you? He's got the control and can hold anything he wants over your head if you piss him off.