I met this guy, C since end of June of this year. However, I found out that he was interested in one of my friends but then he never really act on it or anything like that. I didn't have any romantic feelings for him at the beginning but I was somewhat interested. But when I found out that he's interested in my friend, I lied and said I don't like him. Well, turns out.my friend was seeing the guy that I had feelings with .yet she never told me and all those times I was trying to help her and C. So later things between me and my friend arent' that great.i felt very betrayed because she did that behind my back and when she decided to tell me, she was still lying to me.
anyways.so then I started to text with C back and forth a few times at first.and told myself not to have anything except fot getting to know him as a new guy friend. Unfortunately, the more we communicate, I begin to develop feelings for him. I don't know what he's thinking or if he's even insterested in me at all. We've been texting back and forth a lot.although I don't know why we don't talk on the phone.we hung out quite a few times but not alone.there were other friends around as well.most of the time is me inviting him to events and stuff and he does come out and stuff, too. There were several times that we texted to almost 2am in the morning.i feel like its a roller coaster.there are weeks we texted a lot.then there are weeeks we didn't even text at all.so I pretty much don't understand. I mean one or two times that I invited him to go to events and intentionally just the two of us.and I thought he wouldn't say yes.but he did.but then we didn't end up being alone because others came.just recently I invited him to this orchestra for next month.I thought he's going to say yes.but that night that I was about to ask him to make sure.he beat me to it and said sure, he'll try it out.
And yesterday.we texted back and forth a little.and he said I'm welcome to join him and his brother for dinner for their bday.and I texted back jokingly said.if that was a formal invitation.and today he texted back and he said yes I am invited.I'm happy that he did.but in someways.im thinking a bit differently.that he's just asking because he's just being nice since I always invited him to events and stuff.so I dunno.
Pretty much, I'm confused.I don't know if he's interested in me or not.its like.we have a lot to say when we texted.but in person.we're both pretty shy and quiet around each other.I mean.I would think that he is some what intested in me.thats why he's still communicating iwth me like this.but at the same time.I'm not so sure.because I don't see him taking initiatives to hang out with me or show me anything that can show me that he loves me.I don't like waiting and it really sucks waiting to find out if he's interested in me or not.and I don't want to ask him straight forward neither.because I'm afraid it might ruin the friendship rt now.
any advice? I think he's a good guy.and I'd like to get to know him more, too.but at the same time.I hate wasting time.please help.thanks!
You obviously get on really well as friends, are you confusing a strong friendship with something more? If you already have a couple of other close male friends you can probably compare your feelings of friendship with them to him.
If you are honestly truthful with yourself do you have feelings for him? For example if you told him tomorrow how you felt how would you feel if he turned round and felt the same way? You have to be honest with yourself before you can begin to involve anyone else.
Once you have decided on your feelings you need to decide on a plan of action. The fact that your friend has been involved can make it a lot more complicated. Does she know how you feel or the extent of the situation and could your friendship withstand this kind of strain.
You need to decide what matters more to you and would people around you be accepting of this.
Myabe half the reason not a lot is said when you are around each other is the fact that you are both to nervous to talk about the way that you feel. When you are texting it is easier as you don't see the person. Seeing as you already spend time along I would broach the situation asking if you would be more than friends then when you know where you stand you can think about moving the relationship on further or moving on from the situation.
Good luck and I hope you are able to resolve this.
Hi, thanks for your advice..Well, I guess at this moment..I don't know how he feels about me...I know for sure I do have feelings for him..feelings of being more than just friends...but as for him...I'm not quite sure what he is thinking...and I don't know how to bring it up neither..afraid it might affect our friendship now... as for the situation with my friend..ino her and C never had anything going on. but I guess the fact that he was interested in her first bothers me..b/c I feel second b - 3 months ago
Answerer
Ok, do you feel strong enough about him as more than a friend to risk your friendship or are you happy to stay friends. If anything I would say try and resolve this sooner rather than later before you feelings develop or you get further down your line and you tell hin he may feel very confused that you have been keeping it quiet so long.
I would say you really just have to bite the bullet and do it if you are going to. Go over in your head what you are going to say maybe write it down!!!! - 3 months ago
Question Asker
Thanks again for your input. I don't know how his last relationship was, but mine was quite devastating and this was 2 years ago and I know he broke up with his ex about 2 or almost 3 years ago as well. I have dated anyone since, and from what I heard, he did not neither. could it be an issue of committment for him that's why he's not really approaching me? - 3 months ago
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: 3 months ago
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