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True love at 18?
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I have read, quite a few times on here, about wanting to find true love at such a young age (or feeling someone had met 'the one' and thus didn't want the relationship to end despite the fact something is going wrong etc etc...) and therefore I felt that I should share my 'experience' to help people as much as possible.
I was exactly like every idealist, romantic person out there, with almost every relationship I was in. Through my eyes, every relationship was built to last. Every boy I met had the possibility of becoming a future husband who I would one days share a last name with. (In hindsight, this is all rather silly). In my defence, I would sometimes have boyfriends who would also share this insight with me (of course this was all just words as otherwise I would not be single right now!)
So, what made me change? Surely the romantic, idealist girl, who was just begging to find Mr. Right, would still be scanning every potential male to become a suitable suitor? Wrong. Two things made me change my mind:
1) University and this summer
2) Other people's stories.
I think, to stop people becoming confused, I shall start with describing the first one.It was not so long ago that a relationship I was in (bounded to survive the torments and troubles of a long-distance relationship during university) came to a screeching halt the day my exams finished. I must admit it was a shock to the system and I, naturally being a romantic looking forward to the long summer we could share together, felt my life slightly shatter again. At first I thought this was dreadful! All the plans, everything, gone! But, after the drama had died down, and I realised I was still alive another day, I started to think (and by think I really mean think). This summer for myself is jammed packed with either my job, going away or seeing my friends (I'm young, what do you expect?) To be honest, the idea of having a boyfriend would weigh me down. All those cancellations with all my friends to make so and so happy, and no way could I be spontaneous. Also, the phone bill would be huge.
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As my aim at university is not to get off with every breathing person, have sex with unknown people and date almost every man on campus; I could not understand how a relationship at university could not work. Like I said, young and naive. Just from this recent break up, I've been able to realise that relationships at university give someone such an emotional strain. The constant worry over what your girlfriend/boyfriend is doing, Should you go out? Oh, but you promised them you'd call! Or maybe you can't go away with your friends this weekend as your boyfriend/girlfriend is coming to see you. In short, you're instantly tied down.
For the first time ever this summer I really understood the term: 'You're only young once'. I have years to meet Mr. Right, but I only have a few years left where it is acceptable to come home plastered, and go to work drunk etc...Somehow, motherhood doesn't seem to allow that. I don't know if this is the same for others, but I find relationships have such emotional strains attached to them. Right now, I have to question: is it worth it? Really, right now, when life is bliss, is the trouble and worries of long-term commitments really so necessary?
My second point is all the stories I have heard of adolescents finding their true love and settling down at a young age. Now, I'm not saying they aren't happy, and really it's brilliant they have found love, but all of them have had a sense of wishing they were able to 'play the field'. I don't mean these people are players, but it's perhaps the idea that they feel life is wasted slightly. My friend for example has been with her boyfriend for 2 years. He adores her, and I can't say I'm not happy for them, cause that would be a massive lie. In fact, I envy the fact they are able to maintain such a stable, loving relationship for so long! However, there is always the sense that my friend is slightly bored. I know whoever I meet, I'd want to make them feel wonderful every day, somehow, I doubt I can do that now!
I'm not saying that teenage relationships don't work, nor am I discriminating them! However, I'm questioning those who believe they have found the 'one' so soon, or so scared and worried over a relationship. We are so young, and should be having fun! Are all those relationship crisis' worth it? Or, should we be having fun and experiencing life till we meet the perfect person who we can share it with too? At the end of the day, we will live another day, even if it is without that person!
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