One Final Letter to The Man I Loved: I've Outgrown You

A Letter to The Man I Loved That Made Me Insecure

Basically, I am letting go of my first ex, since he decided to date my friend, and wanted to keep me as his side chick. (I did not continue to sleep with him after I found out he had a girlfriend, my friend). But first I need to express how I feel. I don't think we are at the same level of maturity, and therefore this letter will be of no use to him. Hence, i am sharing it here as a cathartic means of truly letting him go. I hope you enjoy.

Hey,

I felt like since we rekindled on Facebook , this is the perfect medium for me to address the situationship we developed over the past few months/years.

Basically after the situation yesterday, I decided that I can no longer put myself through this. It was too similar to the past, and I can't help but feel poignant about your presence in my life. You see, I am a caring, loving person, and you just never saw that. I was someone you toyed with, and you were someone I kept making mistakes with. I will say I am proud of your accomplishments and I am happy for you.

However, I am also emotional and I reacted the way I did a few weeks ago because I was jealous, but more so disappointed. In the past you have expressed that I was too immature, I needed to change. Somehow the gullible part of me thought since I did change and mature, you probably would have seen that, and at least respect my journey, and appreciate the woman I have become. Yet, you some how are ashamed of acknowledging me, and I won't do that to myself. I clung to the fact that you repeatedly said you would marry me in the past if I changed, although your actions proved otherwise.

You said we would have spoken when we initially rekindled, yet that did not happen either. Your words are brash, it made it difficult for me to move on confidently, you broke me, you really did. You made me think I was unworthy of receiving love and capable of keeping it. You have emphasized that notion by the way you treat me. Yet, I can't seem to decipher, how you think that I somehow owe you unconditional loyalty.

I am not a woman that forgets what I am told, especially by people I care for. I think we are both at different levels at our lives and one day you may see where I was coming from.

As for why I slept with you on many occasions, that was the insecure, soft spot you created acting; but recently I have been working on that too. Out of respect for my relationship with myself and your current relationship, although I truly think that yours is messy and again disrespectful and won't last, I offered you the other room.

I am in no way shape or form trying to belittle you, I am just expressing that I have grown up, and I respect and value myself and my emotional health. Thus, I am truly letting you go. I do not know what your intentions were, but I wanted a genuine friendship and since we cannot get along. I think its best either of us go on independently as we were for the last three years.

Regards,

Amanda


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't mind what the other people are saying. There's no rule in the GAG handbook that says you can't treat the website like an online journal. Sometimes it helps to get these feelings out, even IF the person who SHOULD be hearing these words will NEVER read them.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is almost identical to my situation. It's tough. I've said practically all of this stuff. And it's taken me the best part of a year to move past it all. I feel you. Your words relate to just how I feel. Especially the part about your ex not seeing what a caring, loving and good person you are. It's so frustrating when they can't seem to understand why you'd be jealous or insecure and on top of that, can't see the beautiful person that lies within. So yeah... I feel you. The words made me kinda emotional because I know how it is to be in a situation with a person who just doesn't understand and isn't mature enough to take our maturity on board.

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    • Thank you, its been almost a decade of on and off. I am just tired of the back and forth, I had to do something that was out of my character. I cursed him so that he finds reason to hate me and stay away. Hopefully it works, because I need to move on. I hope all works out for you.

    • That's such a long time! :O. Well I guess you Gotta do what's best for you, I hope everything works out in the end. It's hard, I know. All the very best to you. Stay strong, it's all we can do :)

    • You're sure right

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What Guys Said 7

  • The last part really said it. It is good that you value yourself and moved on.

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  • That was corny.

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  • So send it to him not us...

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    • Did you read the first few sentences? Reading is fundamental. it is also optional, so pass this post if you don't like it. Gosh

    • Nothing changes from what I said. You don't get closure like this...

    • I was not looking for closure, still doesn't change the fact that reading is fundamental. From your comments I realize that you love making assumptions. Therefore, this is the last time I am replying to you.

  • His brain's chemicals apparently have gotten bored of you

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  • dear diary

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  • we'll beat him up for you. as a lvl99 paladin I've had to slay my fair share of scourges. gg ez.

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  • This is why i did not date in high school. They say guys take longer to grow up but I think it's women who hold on to romantic delusions longer.

    Jealousy and hurt are about frustrated ego not love. It's the feeling you get when you can't make the one you want act the way you want. You feel like you have no power, like you are weak and the world is scary for weak things.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Sorry that you went through that. I am glad you found your self esteem to carry yourself and walk away. He's a major ass for what he did to you.

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    • Thank you, yes he is a jerk, I finally came to terms with it

  • Good mytake, but in my experience sometimes its a blessing in disguise that some relationships do not work out. In the long run you will see why and you will say thank God you dodged a bullet.

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