Ex dumped me because I'm pregnant :(

[Simmy]

Me and my ex were going out for 11 months and dating for about 5 months before that so we were like best friends...then I missed my period a few months ago, so I told him that I might be pregnant.

He kept telling me that everything was going to be ok and that he would be there for me.

I then took a pregnancy test and when it came up positive, he completely FREAKED and a few days later, dumped me.

I heard nothing from him for a few weeks but then he text me outta the blue and said that he told his parents and they were fully supportive of him as if he was the one carrying the baby! He also told me to keep him up to date and tell him when the first ultrasound is so that he can get the day off work and I agreed to.

Then about 6 weeks ago, he got a new girl.

He no longer contacts me about his baby and when I text him the ultrasound details, he ignored me.

I know that he has told all his friends that I'm having his baby so this new girl obviously knows but my problem is, I think its her that is telling him not to get in contact with me because maybe she thinks I will come between them.

Is there anything I can do? I recently text him and told him to cop the f*** on because I'm 4 months gone and he still is not supporting me and he replied saying that he will `deal with me when the baby is born`...wtf?

Is there anyway I can get him to help me through the pregnancy without looking too desperate?I DON'T want him back, I just want him to be there for his child because I don't want my baby to grow up without a dad like I did.

Thanks for any help guys :)

[chaybird001]

Well, hun I really don't know what to tell you about how you can get him to be there for the child. I have a child myself and my ex was there for my child for awhile, until recently when he got a new girlfriend and actually got married. Now, he does not support our child like he should. Also, you mention that you believe that the girlfriend of this guy is telling him to not help you. This guy has his own personality/mind. If the girl is telling him not to be in the child's life its his stupidity for listening. So, I wouldn't get too upset at the girl, because he is the who is listening to her. One thing you have to understand is when a female is pregnant out of wedlock it is easy for the guy to one day be there and the next disappear. In most cases, the child lives with the female and the father picks the child up whenever set date, but he can change his mind anytime and say I don't want to be in the child's life. "it just that easy for many guys" If you think its hard now..wait until the baby comes and you expect more from him, he is really going to run then because of the pressure. You can't make this man be in your child's life. As hard as the sounds, but its true. He has to one day stand up and take responsibility. Just like I can't make the father of my child support me and see his daughter. If you want to keep this baby, the best advice I could give you is to raise the kid alone the best way you again and let the father know that the door is always open for him to be in his child's life. I know its hard, I never met my father before and the last thing I wanted was to get pregnant and not have a father for my child, but what can you do? You can't forced him to be a man or father. Right now, I do the best I can to raise my daughter and don't depend on her father. My daughter is almost three and her father has said he was going to pick her up and has changed his mind and never came. Are you sure you want your baby to have a temporary dad? Someone who will be there sometimes; it would just make it harder for you and your child especially when he/she gets older. Keep him update with what's going on, but start focusing on you, the baby what you are going to do when the baby arrives, because if you put so much focus into this guy who treats you like some random girl or acts like he does not care, you may be very mad at the end if he does not support you.

[Standingpretty]

Don't you can ring him dry with alimony, if he is the father he HAS to pay you the money. Atleast he'll pay for it in some way.

[parisa]

I'm sorry to hear your going through this. But if you want this baby then once you have it this guy will seem so insignificant! It's not a cliche when they say a baby changes your view on life. You might not want his support. It won't be easy but surround yourself with good friends and good family. They will support you. So many women do this on their own and it's not impossible to cope. He's not fulfilling his duties and it's his loss. He's being immature and you need to question whether you want another child in your life. Will he even be of any use to you? You can't keep him out of your baby's life but he needs to realise that he can't pick and choose when he wants to be a dad, because he became one the moment that baby was conceived. Let me tell you, you can find some amazing guy who will be more of a dad to your baby then this jerk. You can't make him be a good dad, you just need to decide whether you even want him in your lives.

You're going to have a beautiful baby so look forward to that!

[windyone]

I am so sorry to hear you are going through a pregnancy alone. I went through the same thing twice but my most recent pregnancy was a lot like yours. From my experience you can make him do anything. He is a weak little boy who yea is probably letting this girl tell him what to do. My ex never came to anything for my son, the birth, doctors appointments, ultrasounds etc. Also that DID NOT change when he was born. I told him my one month old son was having surgery and he wasn't around. But he sure was with his new bitch. I know it totally sucks to do it alone but you better learn now the woman are the ones who end up raising the kids. I can only hope he does deal with his kid when the baby is born. That's all you can ask for. If you need to chat message me.

[RicheyRich]

Well first of all he is being very immature about the whole thing. If he did truly care for you he wouldn't of put you through the whole thing and would be there for you when you most needed him. He may of dumped you because he couldn't handle what has happened and is not ready to be a father. I really don't think his new girlfriend is telling him not to see you, but it is possible. I don't know if he will comeback to you to support you even if you try. But maybe when he sees the sight of the baby he will feel regret for putting you through the stress of not being there. I can say more, but I got to go. If you want to talk some more just give me a message. I hope I helped some.

[DrJones]

I've never been a father, but I know it's a lifetime commitment that requires a great deal of personal responsibility and maturity.

This guy has already flipped out and run away and the baby hasn't even been born yet. That's solid evidence that he'll probably be a worthless father.

It's good of you to try to contact him for the baby's sake, but don't count on this loser for anything. Find a lawyer and take his dumb ass to court for child support if you have to. Good luck!

[HEAVENXCLUSIVE]

COURT...TAK THIZ MOTHER FUCKER 2 COURT...HE DONT EVEN CARE ABT HIS BABY CAZZ LOOK AT DAT SHIT...LOOK AT HIS ACTINGS...DE 1ST THING A GUY SUPPOSE 2DO IZ TAK CARE OF HIS CHILD NO MATTER WAT...EVEN IF HE GOT A NEW GIRL...INSTEAD HE IZ DOING DE OPPSITE...LOOKZ 2ME AS IF HE IZ AFRAID 2TAK RESPONSIBILITY...TAK HIM 2COURT...DAT SHLD BE A WAKE UP CALL 4HIM...N IF You DONT WANNE DO DAT THAN STALK HIS AZZ N SHOW UP IN HIS HOUSE UN EXPECTEDLY...

[Wild-Man]

Your ex sounds like my dad, a complete a-whole who will only be there for me when it doesn't get in his way. And that if I want to talk I have to call him, he doesn't call me I call him. He doesn't pick me up, I find a ride up there. I am sorry and I hope your baby is born healthy. My advice to you is to forget him, he knows where you live and knows your number. If he cares he will contact you. Again I am sorry and for the best help, Pray. Good luck and have a beautiful baby!

[BreLaSann]

He sounds like a pretty crappy guy that is running away from his problems. If this is how he's acting now how do you know he's going to be there for the baby? He's acting like a child and you have every right to let him know how ridiculous he's being. You both should at least be able to be friends considering you're going to have a child together. He needs to grow up and accept responsibility and you can tell him that. You wouldn't be being desperate. This is about the baby, not about him.

[Shlei3]

You can't make him do anything unfortunately. Especially since the only way to prove paternity is through an amniocentesis. Still, for now you will need to start doing some planning by talking to financial aid and getting everything in order (it takes time).

[nikita]

do anything and EVERYTHING you can. In this situation, its impossible to look desperate. He's the father, needs to man up and take responsibility. Don't ever feel like you look too desperate or anything, you have every right to bug him about it.

[SuchABigEgo]

Take his ass to court, if he don't want to be in the child life now than he probably never will. But at least he gonna be paying child support,and then he gonna wish he was in his child life. Just don't worry about it, you got a baby to be worrying about. You can't help no one that don't want to be help!

[xxkatelyn]

thats really sad.

it seems as if he is blaming you for the pregnancy

make sure he knows it goes both ways

if I were you, if he wants nothing to do with it I wouldn't even bother with him

he sounds liek a total ***holee to be honest.

id raise it yourself, your friends and family will support you.

he doesn't sound like he would be a good father anyways.

sounds to me, he might not be there anyways

you will find someone in the future who loves you, and will be a father figure..

[re-pete]

It would have been more kind if he never went back and played nice and gave you the idea things were cool and the future was great.

Yeah, he’d still have dumped you, but the messing with the head part is the fucked up shit.

[Littletad]

I feel bad for the baby, but I hope you never get back with your worthless ex.

[Titi18]

I feel bad for the baby! That's who I feel bad for.

[maggiemae]

so sorry for that. I am going through practically the exact same thing as you are... the only difference is I want as little to do with the father as possible, he disgusts me now...

Best of luck girl... I hope it all works out great for you

[Anonymous]

i see you've gotten a lot of help, but you should definitely keep us updateed!

[girlygirl2]

lol.

thats y you use condoms

[Titi18]

Lol

[deadellabellezza]

Guess what I used condoms and I got pregnant when using them correctly and perfectly. In fact every 2 out of 100 women will become pregnant in a year when using condoms, using condoms correctly and as intended. Seriously look it up, ask your doctor. It's really not funny "lol", an unexpected pregnancy is scary. And it comes along with life altering decisions and quite often are young womens' futures are destroyed by it.

[girlygirl2]

mirena iud and condoms have been working fine for me baby girls be smart