Why would a man treat his ex like dirt after breaking up with her?

[lost-angel]

He broke up with me 4 months ago. And told me to move on. Even after I tried to convince him not to, he left without looking back. It was really painful for me. But I realized it was really over, so I started to move on.

Sometimes it's easy, but some days... I struggle.

Tonight, is probably the worst for me.

He already hurt me enough 4 months ago, why does he continue to hurt me now? He sends me emails that make me feel like sh*t. Like I didn't mean anything to him. We were together for 4 years, and I gave him... everything. It hurts when he treats me like this now, because it makes me feel like everything I did, and the time we spent, meant nothing to him...

I almost feel like it wasn't real... that maybe he didn't really love me. Maybe he didn't really care.

I tell myself that time would help me heal... but it's been 4 months now, and I could still feel the pain I felt 4 months ago.

And hearing from him, makes it worst. I wish I could block him, from my accounts, and my life... but he owes me money.. so I'm trying to stay in contact. But my heart isn't as strong as I wish it was.. .. and the pain is just too much for me.

I don't know what else I could do... but wait for him to pay me back, so I could finally start over.

Until then, I want to know how I should deal with this. How do I deal with this pain? Each time I hear from him... what could I do so it doesn't get to me so much? I've almost accepted the fact that I mean nothing to him... but I admit.. it's still painful.. especially when you're constantly being reminded.. by that person...

Also.. does anybody know why he is being mean to me? Why does he still want to hurt me? Was breaking up with me not enough? He knows I'm heartbroken... so why does he continue to beat me when I'm already down... ?

I just want all of this to go away...

...and never fall inlove again.

[sass27]

Hun I know exacatly where your coming from. My ex of 8 years split up with me about 7 months ago and he does not give a sh*t about me. Like your ex my ex told me to move on and find some1 else and has left me without looking back. Still now after so long split up I'm still struggling to get over him. As soon as I think I'm getting some where he tells me after 3 months he was in a reationship with some1 else and its not only that he is all over Facebook with her and one day he had the cheek to tell me he was in bed with her! - the pain after he told me that was terrible.

I gave my ex everything and he threw it back in my face, at christmas he we were talking about our furure but now I think he had it planned all along to finish me he was just waiting for the right person to come along. He went away with the boys the week before he split up with me and its then I think that he met her.

He has said the most horrible, digusting things to me and he has treated me like sh*t.

As I said it's really hard for me to move on but with him he just did it like that.

My confidence and self esteem has been knocked completely, and the rejection feeling is awful. Everytime I start feeling better I hear something else.

The person who loves always comes out worst and the person who treats people like sh*t gets away with it and ends up happy.

I though one day he would come back with his tall between his legs but nothing.

You have to stay strong and cut off all contact. He sounds like a complete waster of space and you have to let go for you sake. One day you will meet the Man of your dreams and fall in love again - I've been told that not all men are the same so hopefully for both of us there are some nice guys out there.

Ever wanna talk let me know.

Take good care x x x x

[lost-angel]

Thanks sass :)

Im sorry about your ex, he sounds like a bag of douche.

My ex on the other hand... he texts me stuff like "i love you.." "i miss you..", but then the next day he would say hurtful things.. like, "you ruined us.. " "it was your fault.." stuff like that.. and it always makes me feel bad..

but anyways.. I'm glad you're trying to move on.. you deserve better.

[gurl232323]

i was in the same kinda situation.. me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke up. I knew he was being unfaithful, but it just took me literally another 3 years to get over him. I mean, of course I talked to other guys, but I had the tendency to compared them to him. throughout the 3 years, he kept coming back to me, reminding me of how a "terrible" girlfriend I was, trying to make me feel like sh*t too. and then he would try to get back with me again, then a few days later, leave me. I keep making mistakes to take him back, but I do that only assuming he has changed. now, all I can ever say to you is this: if a guy is over you, he wouldn't even look back and talk to you again. the fact that he keeps coming back to make you feel bad means something. deep down he still is insecure about everything giving him the reason to come back except in ways to hurt you. guys are just plain stupid like that =\ I kno my ex still isn't over me, that's why he still does what he does (and he even admitted it) hope this helps.

ps. I know how you feel when you said "I just want all of this to go away...and never fall inlove again. "

[lost-angel]

Yah, he does the same to me. He would tell me things to make me feel like I was a terrible gf. And then next day try to come back.... and then the day after, he would act like an a$$hole again.

[Littletad]

Forget about the money. That unpaid amount has kept you in frequent contact with him when there shouldn't be. The more he stays in your life, the more chances he gets to make you feel ridiculed at your past and history together. It's natural that he would stick to his pride and blame everything on you. And that's exactly what he's doing.

I don't think he really cares about what he owes you, but perhaps he gets off on seeing you miserable. Maybe he feels better after seeing this or it's amusing to him. But one thing can be sure, he does see himself finished with you. And I'd advise you to start feeling the same way. For your own good loose all connections and contacts with him, no matter how painful it is.

[stevo]

Probably because he's an ass. I've said it before, and will say it again, nobody deserves this kind of treatment. You gave him your heart and soul, therefore, he has zero excuse to treat you this way. I asked out a girl that was flirty with me over ten months ago. Little did I know that she had a bf, but I should have seen the writing on the wall. But whenever I see her afterwards, she will ignore the holy hell out of me. She won't even look, acknowledge or speak to me. But even after all of that hurt and anger, I did move on and made myself a STRONGER person. I know it hurts, but believe me, you will fall in love again, and the pain will go away. Don't ever doubt that.

[lost-angel]

Yah I know.

That just makes me wonder.....who could you really trust? and how will you know if that person genuinely cares about you? The way he`s acting just tells me that he never did.

Even after the pain when he walked away... I still cared about him, and still do (as stupid as it sounds)...

[stevo]

That....... I don't know. It makes a person distrustful of another when you're done as such.

[sumina7]

He probably does not want to pay your money back. He hopes that if he treats you badly you would go away and then he does not have to pay the money back.

Do you have any legal recourse to recover your money? Can you use some kind of force or threat? A person like this will be like a puppy dog if threatened.

[lost-angel]

I don't know. He promised he would pay. I am holding on to that promise with whatever I have left. I`m having some financial problems right now, and that is the only thing that could help me, but he is really making it hard for me. Which also hurts, because when I lent him the money, it was to help him while HE was having problems. But I guess it doesn`t work both ways..... And yes I do have a contract we both signed, but he has been telling me he`ll pay so I`m just waiting.... I guess.

[sumina7]

You still believe him? Well don't hold your breath while you wait.

[Munki]

Don't say that you never want to fall in love again, because if it's with the right person, it's one of the most beautiful things you could ever experience.

As for your question on what to do with him, I've already talked to you about that before.