Why do some guys 'downgrade' after breaking up with their girlfriend?

Hey guys, just wondering about this as my ex boyfriend recently got a new girlfriend after a week of the break up (possibly a rebound) but she is severely over weight and has several mental health issues with anger management as well as moving in and out of hospital due to it. My main question being why do some guys (not all) down grade from their previous girlfriend when in a rebound relationship?

Also be aware that my ex is very charismatic and could have had any kind of very young and attractive girl.

This also happened to two of my other girl friends with their ex's and was also wondering if it is a trend or just us.

Thanks in advance xx

Updates:
My ex and I also dated appropriately three years before ending the relationship.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a temporary reaction to a breakup. Essentially, ugly girls are easy to land in bed (generally), and they are more eager to please since they get less attention from guys compared to their more attractive competition. While I haven't had a rebound, I definitely noticed that less attractive girls are always more attentive, wanting to please and more sexually adventurous than the hot, skinny, big breasted girl. It takes little effort for a semi-attractive guy to land an unattractive girl, so he's using her for the short term. Landing a hot girl takes considerably more effort.

    Your ex just wants a girl to polish his knob for a few weeks/months, while he is in search for a new hotter girl. In time, he'll move on once he finds a new girl.

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    • Also, remember that you're not exactly getting a neutral evaluation here. Sour grapes, and all that.

      "Severely overweight" MIGHT really be severely overweight -- but it might be an hourglass figure that's a *little* overweight, but in all the right places.
      ... And we all know about how women with borderline and/or bipolar disorder fuck, right? I mean... you know why those things keep getting passed down to the following generations, don't you? 😂😂😂 srsly...

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What Guys Said 13

  • 1) Break ups can hurt your self-esteem
    2) You get used to physical contact and want it back.

    Bottom line, he doesn't want to be alone. Even though it better to be alone than with the wrong person.

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  • Maybe he sees something in her you don't.

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  • He's lonely and sad, what do you mean, "why?" He feels worthless and inadequate, and in my opinion, he probably really liked you or thought your relationship would work and you'd make each other happy. Now he feels like he should be happy taking whatever he can get because he doesn't deserve better or else he's simply given up on ever having a real relationship again. So you shattered him, sounds like. If that's what you were going for, mission accomplished. If not, well, I don't know what to tell you.

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  • For casual sex men lower their standards while women increase them. This is an essential truth that a lot of women don't know about.

    Women underestimate how hard it is for a man to have sex with a beautiful woman and they're often under the false impression that if one drunken super hot guy has a one night stand with them they can get a guy like that to be their boyfriend.

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  • how do we know you're a catch to begin with?

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  • So you could come on here and try justify to us why you're so much better than her. Also, bashing on people with mental health problems isn't cool. Grow up and move on.

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  • I don't downgrade and settle for 2nd best lol. Physical attraction is important!

    Don't worry your exBFs rebound relationship won't last when he realises how good he had it with you 😉

    Some men do this as a way of coping with a recent breakup because they can't handle being alone!

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  • because its usually not up to the guy to get the girl he really wants. and rebounds are all we guys can get.

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  • They need easy companionship.

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  • If they are downgrading its cause they are just trying to fill a void or quite possibly view downgrading as not really moving on from the relationship

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  • Def sounds like a rebound lol probably just wanted to get a quick nit

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  • Because she's fucking him.

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  • she is a rebound
    finding a girl after a week
    lol

    i found a girl after year and a half and she was still a rebound
    but that's over with

    im going to get my closure instead

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What Girls Said 8

  • All rebounds are downgrades if the person jumped into new relationship quick...

    The people who jump from one person or another are incapable of being by themselves for a bit, they need someone and it don't matter if it's the village bike or someone who smells bad they will go to them... they know little of the person as it's been quick succession of getting rid previous relationship... it will fail no matter if person is a downgrade or not... I don't believe the she's kinder/ she's better at sex / her tits are bigger carry on dumpers comes away with... anythin a dumper says disregard as lies.. that goes for guys as well if dumper is rubbing ur face in it.. take pinch of salt!
    The question u want to ask urself is why u still care?
    He downgrades u upgrade! why u on here moanin about it?

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  • Does it really matter? He obviously likes her and not you. Your perceptions of her are immaterial. He clearly thinks he's traded up in some way.

    If I were you I would be thinking on:
    1) Why you think it's acceptable to think this way about others.

    2) Why someone so "beneath you" is clearly more attractive than you and what you can do to work on that situation. I'd start with thinking on empathy and compassion.

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  • Maybe your "ex" sees his new girlfriend on the inside, and not only on the outside. Maybe someone like your ex can help her with her mental health issues, and inspire her weight issue. Are you saying that he can't care about her because she is overweight? Truth of the matter is that some young women today are how they are because other women ( like you) seem to be so quick to judge, that they feel they don't stand a chance. That is a shallow attitude to say he downgraded, a trend? What to loose someone shallow for someone that attracts them in other ways? Please

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  • What might seem as a downgrade to you may be an upgrade in his eyes, you just don't know what another person sees, thinks, feels. But I would guess that out of loneliness and sadness he was quick to jump into another relationship because it helps ease the pain on the breakup

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  • You sound really bitter that he's moved on. She obviously has something he likes and it's not your business to judge her or their relationship because you're not his girlfriend anymore.

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  • I am wondering the same myself.

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  • They are downgrading because there immature and losers. For some reason they think that will help them in their new relationship.

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  • Maybe she has a better personality

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    • I thought that but he often complains about her anger to his good friends.

    • Oh then i dont know tbh

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