How should I respond to this apology letter?

[emily155]

So after almost 8 months broken up from a 4ish year relationship, I got an email yesterday from my ex, apologizing for the way he treated me. It's not a letter from him regretting that he lost me and want me back, but a letter saying how he didn't treat me with respect in the last moments together. Anyway, so when my auto-reply bounced the email back to him, he sent me a text.

I'm a little unsure if I want to answer at all because the last time we broke up, he also wrote me a letter saying how he was sorry for hurting me and all that, except last time, he said that he lost the best thing ever. This time, it was more of a I'm sorry letter.

I'm torn because I want to answer, but answering means that I'm going to start reading into things and having that hope that I tried so hard in the past several months to get rid of. I was finally starting to move on and living my life when I got this.

What should I do?

[JackWSmith]

It doesn't sound like he necessarily wants you back. Maybe he does or maybe he doesn't, but it seem that he's decided to move on too. I just think he feels bad about this, and when he looks back on your relationship in the future he doesn't want it marred with this sense of guilt. He doesn't want the four years he spent with you to end with such a sour note.

You could write him back, but don't make the letter too long and don't delve into things. Hopefully you can keep it short and just tell him that you that the memory of your relationship is happy too. YOu don't have to look at this as a reopening of old things. You can look at it as closure, as an acknowledgement that it's over.

[Mahalko]

Ask yourself one question: if you're finally moving on - then why do you want to answer... in the deepest of your feelings, why would you want to answer someone you've been trying to get rid of for so long...

Then ask yourself another question: why did you want to get rid of him in the first place..?

People make mistakes, recognizing them is the first step into improving oneself..(and I'm not saying that towards you or him in particular..)

[sadinpa]

As Mahalko said...if you have moved on, then why do you want to answer? He LET you go...he said probably pretty hurtful things, so WHY would you ever want to hear anything more he has to say? I know how you are feeling though. I just got dumped after 8.5 years in late June... He texted me a bunch of sh*t and I never responded. I don't want to ever talk to someone that HURT me so badly ever again...You have to hold your head up high and say, "I deserve better than that". I also read into EVERYTHING he said to me...the bottom line is, they let us go! We deserve better! If I were you, I would NOT respond! Move on and find a guy who TRULY deserves you! Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I don't know