I have learned the hard way, a couple times, that the grass is not always greener on the other side. I have been with my boyfriend off and on for 5 years. We have had many, many ups and downs. I will take blame for that, because it was my issues that held us back. I watched my dad walk away from my mother and I when I was very young. I have watched my mother go through abusive relationships and end up hospitalized. I woke up to my mother screaming that my 5 week old sister was dead when I was 13. And shortly after, the rest of my siblings were shipped off to foster care because the claimed my sisters death was "mysterious", even while the autopsy showed her death was caused by SIDs. I become an alcoholic and got myself into a mentally abusive relationship. Just to shortly turn around and be sexually abused by a man 15 years older than me, whom I thought I was in love with. And obviously, there were little things in between all this chaos. I've been suicidal, In my younger years. And it took a long time to bounce back without help. I was forced to do things on my own. When it came to everything. I was working from age 9 till 17 (minus the year I was in foster care) and supported myself through every aspect.
Now with this being said, I was a very depressed and lonely person. Now, when my boyfriend came into my life, I was pregnant by the man who sexually abused me. At this point, I was 17 and he was 32. Yes, disgusting. I can honestly say I didn't feel like that at the time though. However, this man left me and claimed my child wasn't his. Leaving me alone and afraid. Anyways, my boyfriend knew I was pregnant. He accepted it. He didn't care because he wanted me. No matter what sort of baggage I came with. He was committed to me 100%. It was about two months after I gave birth to my son that my boyfriend took him in as his own. He didn't care what other people thought. And I can tell you right now, I was speechless. Not any normal 17 year old boy would take in a child as their own, but he did. Now.... Fast forward a year and a half, we have a daughter at this point. Our own apartment. Jobs. Our family was growing into something bigger and more beautiful that I imagined. And that's also when it started falling apart. My part came back to bite me in the ass. I can't tell you what triggered it because I honestly don't know. But I fell back into depression and started drinking heavily again while hr was home with the kids. I got into the wrong crowd. People who didn't care about me or my family at home. And the state of mind I was in, I welcomed every bit of anything that took my mind off of the inner battle I was facing. My boyfriend did everything he possibly could to help me. I hated him for it. Thought he was trying to control my life. But he didn't have to help. He could have walked away. But he didn't. He helped me get my ass cleaned up. I stopped drinking. He forced me to talk to him even when I didn't want to. And you know what, it built me up. HE built me up. And here we are, almost two years later, stronger than ever. New apartment, new goals, bigger dreams and brighter future.
So ladies, here's the thing... Not every man is the same. And men, sometimes the "bad boys" aren't bad at all. My boyfriend is considered a bad boy. The way he walks, talks, and even acts. He gets criticized everyday for it. But he has the biggest heart ever. And all of his actions over the years have proved it. He never cheated. Never left. Never put a finger on me. When honestly, I probably deserved to be left on a number of occasions. So ladies, maybe your problem is you always go after the same type of men. And men, maybe you're focusing too hard on why women go for "bad boys". Instead of viewing men and women as a whole, try viewing them as individuals. The more you focus on yourself instead of judging others around you, the further you will go. I know that now. I was the girl who lived in the past and was envious of everybody who had something more appealing than I did. When in all actuality, I have absolutely everything sitting right in front of me.
I know most of you will question this post. And wonder why I even bothered writing this because this post will "not change the way people are." BUT if I can make at least one of you think twice and hear my words, then my job is done. I might not be able to help people as a whole, but I can help certain individuals. I hope you all are having a great day and God bless!