I'm writing this, not just for what I've seen on here but all the things I've seen about dating. All the things they tell you not to talk about or not to wear or not to do. I think all those rules just clash with the whole point of dating, how can you get to know someone if you're afraid to do or say certain things because it's on the no no dating list? It doesn't seem right to me.
See, dating is hard and scary enough. Going on a first date is scary and nerve-racking enough. Why add extra pressure on that by tacking on rules? Besides, people who go on dates already want to make a good impression on their date. So, all these rules paired with that could make a person clam up and make the date uncomfortable for both people. Because the harder you try to impress someone, the more likely you are to not truly be yourself because you're more focused on making a good impression then being who you are.
I think most of these rules are just basic common sense and logic, paired with just general good manners and proper etiquette, that by a certain age you should just know. Like you shouldn't have to be told to not to put your finger in your nose, you should just know that. You shouldn't have to be told not to play with your food, you should just know that. You shouldn't have to be told to eat in a polite manner when in public, you should just know that. You shouldn't have to be told not to get plastered when on a date, you should just know that. You shouldn't have to be told not to check your Facebook status or do other internet related things when on a date, you should just know that. A lot of these things I think are just common knowledge and things you shouldn't do, whether you're on a date or not.
Let's go over some things that are said to be "no no's" on a date, that I think shouldn't be "no no's" at all.
Leaving your phone on during a date: I think there's a HUGE difference between playing with your phone the whole time you're on a date and leaving it on just in case but not bothering with it once. So, I think you should leave your phone on just in case something should happens and someone needs to reach you. As long as your not using it, I don't think leaving it on is a big deal.
What you should and shouldn't wear: I think when you dress for a date, you should wear what you feel best in and not what's most appropriate for the occasion. What I mean by that is, everybody as their own style and things they feel comfortable wearing and things they don't. So, if a guy doesn't like wearing a suit when he dresses up or doesn't like wearing jeans when he dresses down, he shouldn't be forced to wear those things then. If a girl doesn't like wearing fancy dresses when she dresses up or doesn't like wearing jeans when she dresses down, then she shouldn't be forced to wear those things. Your comfort in your own skin and your own personal style, shouldn't be sacrificed because you're going on a date. That's a part of you and you need to show it, to see if it will be accepted by that person or not.
Talking about your past relationships and past sexual escapades: Again, I think there's a HUGE difference between bragging about your ex's and how attractive they were. Also, bragging about how good you are in bed and how good they were in bed. And, just generally touching on both topics so you each understand how you are in relationships, why they didn't work out and how experienced they are as opposed to you. So, I see nothing wrong with talking about past relationships. It is apart of their past and something you'd want to know about sooner rather then later. Same goes for their sexual experience, it's also apart of their past and something you'd should know about sooner rather then later. So, I see nothing wrong with these topics, as long as it's discussed in a getting to know each other way.
Wanting to start a family and future goals: People put a lot of merit on being compatible and having things in common. So, you would think discussing if you want to marry and have a family or not would be apart of that process but they tell you not to discuss that. Why waste each others time, if you don't want the same things out of life? Why go on second and third and fourth and many more dates, develop feelings only to break up because you want commitment and they don't? Why not just avoid all that potential hassle and pain and discuss it on the first date? I think stuff like that is important to talk about right off the bat, because why have a second date if you're headed in different life directions? I think that's a first date topic.
No kissing on the first date: This is one of those things that's based upon two people having a connection or not. If you're both into each other and the date ends and all the signals are there that it would be well recived, then you should kiss them. If you're unsure and they don't seem to be giving off the vibe that say's they want to be kissed, then don't do it. But, I think it's one of those things that if it's right you'll know and if it's not you'll know that to. So, whether you kiss or not should be depended on if it feels right to both people or not. It shouldn't be depended upon if it's appropriate first date behavior or not. Hell, people jump in the sack with each other on the first date. Why not kiss on the lips, right?
Talking about the weather: People say you seem boring if you discuss the weather. Well, if I want to declaire it's a beautiful sunny day outside and I love this weather, I have that right and I shouldn't automatically be tagged as boring. Everybody and there brother talks about the weather, it's just a common topic. So, I see nothing wrong with it.
The whole point of dating is to find someone you could ultimately end up having a commited relationship with and potentially end up spending your life with. The whole point of a first date is to get to know each other and see if you're compatible enough to want to try for date number two. Well, how can anybody get to know anyone if you're not allowed to be yourself or discuss anything that would be of importance in helping you decide if you're right for each other or not? How can you know if you want a second date, if you're not allowed to talk about the things that lead you to wanting or not wanting a second date. Makes no sense to me.
So, I personally think when a person goes on a date they should toss the dating rules aside and just let everything flow and happen naturally the way it is suppose to. I personally think, they should just be themselves and put all their cards on the table let the person decide if that's the kind of person they do or don't want.
Next time you go on a date, be yourself, have fun and don't worry about any stupid rules. Because, if things go well and you end up a couple they will ultimately be dating YOU! So, show them who YOU are and not who all these rules tell you you're suppose to be.
Happy dating, everyone :)
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