Political Correctness and Interracial Dating

In an age where simply breathing the wrong way could offend someone, we appear to be tiptoeing around fairly insignificant details.For example, labeling someone as that black woman can get you written up at the office, or royally chewed out by the injured party.

But where is the offense? As a black woman, being called black has never upset me. It is simply a descriptor; no different than saying someone has blue eyes or blond hair. At times, categorization is essential, not only for census takers, but in visualizing events, for instance, how helpful would I be if, after witnessing a robbery, I simply described the perpetrator as a human being?

Interracial dating is not safe from the daunting stranglehold of political correctness, and it can be hard to balance open dialogue with respect for cultural differences.I myself have found that knee jerk responses abound in this particular arena. A minority person may become easily offended by an innocent remark, whereas, a white person may blithely gloss over the feelings of their date with a get over it attitude that can appear racist and combative.

In the past, I have been on the receiving end of the latter attitude and frankly, it rankled.Why? Well, if one were dating a person of the same culture, and they declared they didn't like Chinese food, one wouldn't say, Hey get over that! Who cares if you are allergic, that's the past, let it go!



Saying such a thing undervalues the other persons' legitimate thoughts, feelings and ideals, something you don't want to do when you are trying to win someone's affections. If you plan to date interracially, you have to respect opinions and perspectives that may not jibe with your own.

Sad fact is, some individuals harbor ulterior motives when they begin to date someone of a different cultural background, either to try something exotic, prove they are not racist or educate an individual towards a particular political view. This happens on both sides of the fence and can leave the person of interest feeling patronized and condescended to, a pawn in an agenda and not a date.

People should date to get to know one another, not to prove anything.

In essence, interracial dating is a potential pc minefield, but I have distilled success in this arena down to two basic principles. Display manners and accept varying outlooks.

If you are dating a guy or gal of color that wants to be called African-American, don't roll your eyes. It is not about political correctness. It is about the individual and respecting their point of view. When we remove politics and agendas from the racial dating scene, a surprising thing happens we start to see the other person as a fellow human being. In doing so, we find the common ground we didn't think existed, learn a thing or two and maybe, just maybe, find love in the process


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What Guys Said 11

  • I hate political correctness because it's mind control under the guise of being 'open-minded'.. And as far as interracial dating goes, why should people care so much about who's dating who? Seems to me we got so many peiople wrapped up in nonsensical crap that they caint deal rigthly in their own lives.Also, I gotta say this.. as a Black man, I am so sick of Blacks being so damn sensitive about race! It is something I've always hated, because it's always about victimhood, never about acheivement.

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  • Its all about classism and communism... that's all PC is.. to divide people into groups and hae them hate one another...

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  • Touche'. Although It does seem to me we could come up with better terms, just so it's less confusing what might offend. One of my favorite flicks is Something New. It seems fairly realistic (if there is such a thing in a movie) - except for the silly Mexican jacket that Brian wears at the end. The girl who plays Kenya is simply too beautiful. Do you agree?

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  • As a Black man who's felt the sting of the Interracial backlash, it just saddens me to see how erbody has embraced PC... I hate Political Correctness. It's just Communism under the guise of fairness and tolerance, while it snuffs out all other viewpoints other than what the PC crowd is wanting to advance at the time. This PC crap is strangling the life from people in hop-es of not offending anyone. NObody can take a joke, nobody can speak what's on their minds- that's unfreakin-acceptable!!!

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  • The problem from the other perspective is that white people are supposed to just laugh along at every racist comment made about them and then be extra sensitive to everyone else.

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  • Interracial dating? Like Sasquatch and the Loch Ness Monster, its existence has yet to be proven. In real life, white and black are on better terms in a chess match than in American society.

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  • Good stuff... I HATE POLITICAL CORRECTNESS... It's dumb as hell- thought polices (yea, I said damn thought po-lices) sudnt be in the realm of dating...

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  • Things offend people, but people want to pick and choose what should offend people and what should not. They only problem I have with people who get annoyed at people taking offense to what other say is when they can't accept the consequences that may come from saying what they feel.

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  • BlackSuperman...

    Communism is about the eradication of class. Classism is a Tennant of fascism. Learn politics, dude...

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  • After that situation (mind you this happened in 2003...), I decided to no longer identify myself on the basis of race... There is only the human race. Given that circumstance, to me "interracial" indicates a human and non human relationship. I only date humans. I don't date caucasians, blacks, asians, mexicans, indians, native americans... I do not date women that limit themselves by racial identification. I date HUMANS. Humans have no limitations.

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  • I am not a fan of political correctness, but dually, I am not a fan of racial identification. I refused to identify myself on the racial level on the census. I believe it is stupid. Why? Because we should be beyond this. I spent time in the middle east. And I saw a Negroid, and Caucasoid set of muslims enjoying a hookah, I asked them about race, they laughed and said they were both ARABIC. I like this concept. I am AMERICAN, plain and simple. Race as an identifyer? FOOLISH!

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What Girls Said 5

  • Hey Rafael--I haven't seen the film--what is it about? And I think, to be safe, we can ask people how they would like to be addressed--as long as a person doesn't call me the N word ( black or white) or colored, I am kewl...I don't like the term African Americans because it is inaccurate--Black people come from everywhere not just Africa--but I see why it evolved to those terms as the majority of dark slaves came from there...

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  • Das and Jaron I could just huig you--I once wrote an articele called putting the American in African-American where I felt the emphasis should be on American heritage not some outdated, misguided idea of "blackness" love to see other blacks understanding this concept...

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  • Ugh, I HATE political correctness.

    If you're white, I'm gonna call you white, NOT caucasian....it's just too much to say. (where did 'caucasian' come form anyway?? lol)

    I'm BLACK, not african-american. African-American is the correct title for those who have moved to America DIRECTLY from Africa. I have African features, but I was born IN America. I'm an AMERICAN. That should really be the only term that matters, either way.

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  • I agree and think that is wrong as well--but I think it is up to the couple. If both are fine poking fun at one another it is good--it is about mutual respect on both ends.

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  • Thanks for this. As a white living in a community that is primarily black and mexican, I've tried to walk the PC line between being able to speak and trying not to offend others, and I've often failed because of some perceived (rightly or wrongly) insult. I'm glad you expressed something I believe- that sometimes one race may say something insensitive, and that one race may take something too seriously.

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