Girls, stop trying to spare our feelings

Girls, stop trying to spare our feelings

I understand, you don't want to hurt us but in essence beating around the bush or trying to make things what they aren't hurts us even more. When we do find out it hurts just as bad if not more, so why not tell us from the start. I'm talking about if you're not feeling "us" anymore and you're dating someone else. Just tell me that plain and simple. If we're in the stages of talking it shouldn't be hard to clear that up, it's just common courtesy. I have no problem moving on and yes it might hurt me that we weren't able to work out but at least I'll have closure and clarification. Instead you choose to go absent on me and I'm stuck wondering what the heck I did wrong. Girls, don't just leave us hanging, if you at least kind of care about us just let us know, you don't even have to say why exactly just at least tell us that we're not working out. Leaving a guy wondering hurts him way more than telling him the truth. Pulling a disappearing act on us makes our mind wander and think even more and in the end our feelings are hurt a lot more. I just felt like writing this because there's this girl I liked and we were talking and I don't know what happened but she started dating someone else and I found out she apparently still has feelings for me but she didn't want to hurt me so she just flaked on our date and didn't ever contact me again. It hurt really bad and if she had just told me when I had asked her out that she was talking to someone else I would have been hurt less and moved on. So ladies, please think about us before you try to "spare our feelings" ok.


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What Girls Said 1

  • The problem here is that there are two types of guys.

    Type one is you, you're the kind of guy who wants the girl to be up front about it and just tell you the truth, even if it's painful.

    Type two is the kind who wants the girl to sugarcoat things and let him down easy or to slowly cut him off, so that the pain will be minimized and he'll be able to move on quicker once it's done.

    If you give the wrong treatment to the wrong kind of guy, you'll be called a bitch either way. Too honest? Bitch. Too nice or a little evasive? Bitch. It's like no matter how we reject a guy, 80% of the time he thinks we're a bitch because we did it the wrong way, we said the wrong things, we should have handled it differently and so on. Believe me, many girls think LONG AND HARD about how to reject a guy the best way, so it's really not that easy at all.

    • What I'm trying to say is that yes, it sucks if someone leaves you hanging and it sucks when someone doesn't reject you the way you want to be rejected. But the truth still lies in their actions. If they're avoiding you, contacting you less and less, not trying to hold a conversation with you and not wanting to meet up with you anymore, you should pretty much take that as a rejection in itself and just cut off all contact. If you think that they've changed and that they're being too distant, take it for what it is (them being disinterested) and forget about them. You know it's coming anyway at that point, so instead of thinking "oh well she should have done this or that, rejected me this way or that way", just clear your head of her and move on. Nothing can change the way they behaved so might as well just forget about it.

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