How to Get a Date

As a guy (or a progressive female), sometimes it's hard pursuing the opposite sex. In short, many of us have no idea what we are doing in pursuit. I know I had no idea how to get a date when I started to fancy ladies in my teen years, even if the opportunity was right in front of me. Fortunately, there are some basic steps everyone can take in order to increase their chances of landing a date. No dating strategy will land you a date every time, but sometimes a basic outline can help make a process easier. This is no pickup artist guide or anything like that. It's just a common man's observations of practices that tend to work when pursuing a date:

1. First, Get Yourself Together

No one likes to date a scrub. In fact, I believe the 90's hip-hop group TLC made a song about it. Keep up with your hygiene. Groom. Get a job/education. Keep yourself healthy. Workout. You get the point. The person you're dating shouldn't always have to explain why they're dating you.

How to Get a Date

2. Choose Your Venue and Mingle

The 21st century is the time of Tinder, OkCupid, and a million other dating sites. Bars, classrooms, offices and even the street still exist though. Choose which venue suits your personality, and try to meet people there. If you meet new people, it's important to be friendly; they won't know you, so it's important to show them the best version of yourself and respect boundaries from the beginning (like, no dick pics).

3. Push Buttons and Relate

If you are having a conversation with someone you would like to date, tease each other (without being mean). It sounds counter-intuitive, but it's playful. Don't be afraid to make fun of yourself too. At the same time, make sure to find out more about the other person: their likes, their history, etc. Never stop teasing each other though. You create tension by insulting someone else, even if it is playfully.

4. Allude to a Future Meeting

If you've met someone; you've been teasing each other; and you know a few details about his or her life; it may be appropriate to find out more about this person through a date. Think about a date that you would like to have. Suggest your date idea to the person via conversation. Sell the event as a fun time, not as a date; it takes pressure off of you because you don't risk being rejected as badly; and it takes pressure off of the person you're asking because they won't feel cornered into a romantic scenario. If the person agrees to the idea, ask for their contact information in order to coordinate the event. If the person rejects the idea, determine whether the person is rejecting it because of you or because of the plan you suggested. If it's the former, move on. If it's the latter, pick something else to do.

5. Coordinate the Event

Plan the date using the contact information you've gathered and go enjoy yourself. The MyTake was about how to get a date, not about what to do once you get there.


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What Girls Said 2

  • 1. Getting the guy to ask you out. I don't ask out guys

  • Ohh I did all of that and nothing works and even a bit more and he never gave me hints that he was not attracted to me so I dont know what went wrong.

    • I've been on both ends of the spectrum with women and it sucks. It's like the ones I don't wanna keep seeing, keep trying for me and vice versa. The ones I do like end up leaving without an explanation and give no signs that they're not interested/attracted which sucks and leads to a lot of over analyzing.

    • Show All
    • @iamyourneighbor So you think ny casewill be the same?

    • What do you mean never get to know the ones I like?

What Guys Said 2

  • Great another guide like this.

    Any detailed guide how to begin with a girl you've hung out with, but you aren't dating, and make her into a girlfriend?

  • Or, you know, don't date at all because dating is for chumps