Dating as a woman vs Dating as a man. You thought you had it bad!

I've never written a myTake before so im gonna be anon..touchy topic.

So, men and women have different dating experiences based on there sex.

I see many men complain about having to muster the courage to talk to a woman and face many rejections. I also see that women and from my view complain about the worng guys coming up to them and being on the waiting end is frustrating. And I have to say I agree.

Here's why. As a woman, to have to wait and hope someone worthwhile comes up to you, not even having the choice to seek them out can be so frustrating and disapinting. It is widely viewed that a woman seems 'masculine' and 'desperate' if they persue a man with half the fervor that a man will pursue a woman.

So where does this leave us? sifting through the offers we do get. Even if they are terrible. Men seem to be advantaged that they dont have to dust off or avoid creepy men (homeless drunks if you're in NY) coming up to them for there...lets say D in this situation. How would you feel? and these homeless 'women' want to do no more than to well, you know. No undying love, no affection, of course but maybe some infection. *sigh*But women tend to offer men so much more.

Dating as a woman vs Dating as a man. You thought you had it bad

For example, the other day, I saw this girl who just couldnt stand me (I'd never spoke to her, or said anything outloud to be hated or have ben connected to her circle of friends) but I found out its because i had something with a guy she liked a year ago basically, and it wasn't really anything.

She seemed SO happpy and not hating me for once, as she clung on to her new 'boyfriend' who seemed uncomfortable. Her boyfriend, practially stalked me last year with the intent of sleeping with me. Now, I eventually made out with with him ONCE (because he was there) and the guy that I wanted to choose me 'didnt', completely regret it. So, crazy thing is after I turned down sleeping with him he was so butthurt and upset that he couldnt be cordial or friendly with me and when i needed a friend, promptly invited me to his dorm and no concern about me emotionally as he once 'did'. So with no friendship, suport, I cut him off because he didn't understand boundaries or what no meant. I told him, not matter how many times he tried, to never speak to me again. Not to mention when I tried to be kind and spend time with him alone, unanswered texts etc.

So enter this girl who treats me rudely, gets her friends to give me the mean eye, and feels like she's in competition with me and with our only connection being this guy and almost gets people to exclude me , 'the new girl' to the class. She now hangs on to him, and seems clingy, when this guy doesn't seem to want her or anyone. But you know what... she gets a guy.

I hate, hate hate, to think I would have to stoop to this level to get to be with someone that I like, but I often wonder, is that how it works? Does a man womanize and treat women poorly because who he previously 'chose' rejected them? And so now they spew garbage, manipulate, and lie but some woman, somewhere runs after this wounded puppy ignoring there own pain and human dignity and just acts as a recipient for all of there garbage? While the women who refuse to deal with it, are just met with more ridiculousness?

Well, Apparently so.

In the end of my situation, I was treated like a sexual object of value only, devalued or ignored when I acted as a friend, and then villlainized and hated by this insecure girl(his now girlfriend) to badmouth me which prevented me for making friends in a new area, when I did absolutely nothing but make decisions as a female. While being upset that I would not sleep with him and he couldnt tell his buddies that he 'got me'. But, behold, he gets love and undying afftection of someone and I'm basically treated like crap from all parties. Cheers.

Wow, to be a man must be wonderful.

This is why I can't stand men a complaining about there rejections.

Because I think they dismiss a tiny detail. You. Chose. Her. You can choose, with no backlash or emotional suffering or being shamed as a slut or as desperate none of your fellow men coming after you.

You likely, went up to her, amis the other women in the room, chose this person to pursue. In the end, it was your choice regardless of the situation.

As a woman who isn't shy, or is up front about what I want, I find dating to not have equal opportunity for both parties. I can be seen as too outgoing and shyer guys or just plain not outgoing guys who will tell me in the future that they felt I wasn't interested or they felt nervouse about going up to me...

How unfair is that?

I honestly think we have it worst on the recieving end. But is there another way?

I guess I'll just hope and wait for the right answer to come along. ugh.


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What Guys Said 60

  • Always approach the person you're interested otherwise you have to wait and see if they like you which is most likely not the case so they won't approach first.

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  • ' I also see that women and from my view complain about the worng guys coming up to them and being on the waiting end is frustrating. And I have to say I agree.'

    Then do some of the legwork yourself meeting attracting the right guy. Problem solved.

    'No undying love, no affection,'

    Why would there be undying love or affection before you get to know and build up some rapport with the person you approached?

    'of course but maybe some infection.'

    One word: contraception.

    'women tend to offer men so much more.'

    Yeah: marriage, two kids and a mortgage... great!

    'Her boyfriend, practially stalked me last year with the intent of sleeping with me. Now, I eventually made out with with him ONCE (because he was there)'

    Yeah, I know these things just 'happen', amirite? There is no such thing as will power or self-control. If something happens 'in the moment' as a woman you have no choice but to get swept off your feet.

    'and the guy that I wanted to choose me 'didnt', completely regret it.'

    What you really mean to say that the guy that was aggressively persistent got action and the guy that preferred to sit at the sidelines and respect you got nothing.

    And now you resent the fact that you can't find Mr. Right.

    'So enter this girl who treats me rudely,'

    So really and truly, dating as a woman, your problem is not so much MEN as it is other WOMEN.

    'And so now they spew garbage, manipulate, and lie but some woman, somewhere runs after this wounded puppy'

    I think women are just attracted to the Machiavellian impulse (lying, cheating, backstabbing, etc.). Probably related to survival somehow (men like this would have been more likely to survive in nature).

    'Wow, to be a man must be wonderful.'

    Only if you happen to be in the top 20%.

    That's because only the top 20% of men get to sleep with and date the most attractive 80% of women, while men in the lower ranks either have to sleep with prostitutes or settle with the least attractive women in the population.

    www.examiner.com/.../the-80-20-rule-theory-explains-a-lot-of-today-s-problems-among-dating-singles

    https://youtu.be/ORfz0ku0ixM

    https://youtu.be/HGEO6ig8WsM

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22977-girls-on-tinder-do-smash-a-lot

    Having your pick of the most attractive men must be wonderful.

    'This is why I can't stand men a complaining about there rejections.'

    One reason is because women are often much more discourteous in the way that they reject men:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmP1ier3R30

    'I think they dismiss a tiny detail. You. Chose. Her.'

    Nope, men have considerably LESS choice in available women. It should be: You. Chose. Him.

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    • Guys don't like when girls approach. ..

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    • *this is not to mention the fact that wealth does NOT necessarily evidence a confident, successful mindset in and of itself (wealth can be inherited or unearned, etc. etc.). Not everyone that is wealthy is a stellar example of 'from rags to riches', and therefore not everyone that is wealthy is necessarily attractive.*

    • @CaliforniaMe Wrong I like it when girls approach. I've had it happen. It's okay with me.

  • i think it is the same for both with the key being respect for yourself as well as the one your dating.

    Not brain science

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  • Do you really want to sleep with a guy who isn't confident enough to approach you at all? I get turning down the first few guys but I don't see what's wrong with you girls limiting your pool of choice men to those who at least have the courage to approach you. Also, not to be a dick, but not every guy WANTS to approach you. Some actually have girlfriends, or you're just not the their type but it seems like maybe they don't want to approach you. However, instead of having to make the first move in this scenario and get blown out you just ignored which I don't which is better or worse from that mindset.

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    • Awesome answer... you are wise beyond your years, my friend!

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    • @canadianLAD calm down, fella.

    • capital was a mistake.

      calm as a cucumber

  • You can pursue a man. It's not desperate of you to do so. Regardless of our gender, if we want something we have to chase after it. We can't complain about getting the short end of the stick when we are afraid to put ourselves out there. If you aren't happy then do something about it and be proactive. This goes for everyone.

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  • I'm sorry, but women can CHOOSE to either sit down and wait, or stand up and walk up to guys. Men don't have the privilege to sit down and wait, and have lots of women come up to him. Yes, you gotta deal with crap, but you will still get approach by some decent men.
    You hold on to the negative idea that a girl approaching is seem manly. That's not true at all, you just use it as an excuse to not get your ass up and go for what you want.
    Do you wait until someone offers you a job, or do you get up and send your resume to dozens of companies?
    "Oh no, I got the douchebag" well no SHIT, you were sitting down and the douchebag was the one who approached, if you would have moved and talked to that good guy you like, you wouldn't be with the douche.

    I'm sorry but all the "we have it more difficult" is bullshit, you don't have it more difficult, you make it more difficult in yourself. YOU. Blame yourself.

    I hate when I see girls crying about being single or being with the wrong guy when they do nothing to change that. MOVE!

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  • You do realise, In literally every single specie of animal on the planet, The female is the one who choses the mate, Literally watch any nature documentary.

    Humans are no exception.

    In Nature, Humans too, Women just have to ''Be there''. Its the mans responsibility to impress them enough to be chosen, Whether that be by having wealth, Having good looks, Or being powerful.
    (Why do you think the term ''Alpha male'' exists? Look at.. I don't know.. Lions for instance, The strongest lion gets to mate, Now look at humans, It works the same (From a physical attraction point of view).

    Women literally hold 99% of the power in commencing a relationship. Notice all the requirements you and other women have for your men, Now what is a guys requirements? Oh yeah.. Someone who isn't a bitch and will have sex with him... Not exactly hard to achieve.

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    • "Someone who isn't a bitch and will have sex with him... Not exactly hard to achieve"
      then there are the guys who tack on impossible beauty standards.
      Not all guys will, but a lot (if not most) are like that.

      Obviously guys are going to want to date someone they are attracted to. Women are like that, too. (Captain Obvious, I know). But if you look in any magazine you see the type of women guys are attracted to, and it's very hard (near impossible), to look like that (photoshop, editing, etc). A lot of that is self-inflicted, but it's become the societal norm. I've never been a super skinny girl (mostly average in every way). I'm not considered ugly by most people's standards. But I've been looked over my entire life by guys, mostly because they want the "super hot chick" with the really big boobs and the huge butt and the tiny waist and the big boobs. I've seen friends starve themselves trying to look that way.

      The issue is just are relevant for men. Look at any male model...

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    • You know @Mekkalyn , The overwehleming majority of people who go into fashion etc. are female. And of the males who do, the Majority of them are homosexual etc and act feminine.

      The people who make these high beauty standards for women, Are extremely beautiful women.. Not men. All it takes is one good looking women to write in a big newspaper ''Hey everyone, You should look more like me!'' for every single girl to feel innadequate and try and change herself.

      Women are putting beauty standards on themselves, And when that happens, All the girls start to get the mentality ''Men are pigs for only finding girls like that attractive'' (Cough *Feminism* Cough), When, The fact of the matter is, We have fuck all do to with it, And care far fucking less about looks then girls may think.

      Our biological purpose is to reproduce. All a girl needs for that, Is a nuturing personality, Boobs and a working vagina.

      Men need character, Muscle (to.. ''Provide'') and a working dick.

    • I did address that, yes beauty standards are brought on by women, but more than half the men I've talked to agree with it and like those types. But it's the fault of women, definitely.

      And guys need much more than just that for a serious/marriage type relationship. You can't just date any random girl with those traits and be happy. I'd like to think guys are more multidimensional, perhaps :)

  • www.funcatpictures.com/.../...eaned-aliens-cat.jpg
    This was the dumbest my_take of the day for me. Next time create something unbiased otherwise you will not get much respect on here from either side of the spectrum.

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  • You can initiate with guys. A guy may think you're a slut, masculine or some other negative descriptor, but there are many guys that would not only be open to your approach, they would embrace it. As a guy we may deal with similar negative reception. You've heard of the term creep right? Lol.

    Also you don't really know if he got love or the extent of their relationships fulfillment. Based on the way she judged you negatively, I bet there's a good chance they have or will have some issues.

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  • Honestly, I wouldn't bother being so afraid of public ridicule for approaching. I think when people say "a real man should approach" and "a desperate woman would approach", it is the kinds of girls who already get a lot of attention, wanting to continue a structure where they do jack shit. And it is from guys who want to make sure the chest thumpers are on top. Not those "wussy dudes", who are usually the best fathers, the most likely to stick around, and the best in the sack.

    There is nothing that makes a woman who approaches any less valuable. She usually gets tons of brownie points from me and a lot of guys I know. All except for, you guessed it, the chest-thumpers who talk about "alpha males" and whatnot.

    I've mentioned this before: Rejection isn't bad at all. It's not bad when someone says "sorry, I'm not interested." But it's totally different when you can be publicly humiliated for saying "you're cool, wanna hang out some time?" on an elevator.

    See, when girls keep telling you how uncomfortable it is to be approached all the time, and create videos of women being cat-called down the streets of New York, any guy with a bit of empathy would back off and approach more cautiously. That is, the guys who really CARE how you feel will be filtered out more than the guys who never gave two shits.

    Plus, as long as women don't approach us, guys don't really have a choice, even those who don't understand boundaries. We are pushed TO approach, and not doing so is considered juvenile.

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  • I think this is a load of bull. You were talking about how men are able to approach women and ask them out but women just have to choose from who approaches them. Why can't you go up to a guy you like and ask them out? I think it is just because you want to accept the normal gender roles and don't want to go up to a guy and ask them out. I mean a woman is able to go up to a man and ask him out just as well as a man can ask a woman out. From my point of view as a man women actually have this easier. I mean you can ask men out if you want and you have men asking you out to choose from as well. I can honestly say I have never had a woman come up to me and ask me out, so as a guy I think it is the norm to never get asked out. So we are only left with the option to ask women out since we don't have to option to choose from women who ask us out.

    You also talked about how girls can be mean and turn against you because a guy showed interest in you. The same thing happens with guys but we are just more straight forward about it and deal with it better. But there have been time when I have lost friends because I've showed interested in a girl who is a friend and then getting rejected and then having friends shun or ignore me because of doing so. So really I think it is hard for both genders.

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  • You say women have it the worst, but men have to deal with things that are just as difficult. On top of that, women are a lot less accepting and extremely selfish and vicious. While women have their problems, men have them too.

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  • I'm sorry, but the quote "You chose them?" Seems offensive. We have it a lot harder trust me. We see in black and white and we don't always see those little hints. You can just say no, and especially for people like me, that's like a kick in the balls. You left out one thing. You wait
    You don't have to muster up any courage
    You can say no
    You can kick us in the balls, literally, and we can't do anything but go and try to find another girl who matches our standards. For me that's that they are smart, I like glasses but they aren't needed, I like people who are a little shg but not too much. And you wanna know what
    Almost every girl in my school has had a boyfriend and barely and guys HAVEN'T had girlfriends. I have never had a girlfriend. I'm shy and I try so very hard

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  • Approaching isn't just a confidence thing.

    Rejection is the pain of death, it can cause physical pain and cause life long emotional scars. Survival for humans is attachment, to their tribes, families, peers, lovers, etc...

    Living is a small tribe, as humans evolved too, you would know who your mate will be by the time your a teenager and would have likely had an already established peer relationship most your lives.

    Pain is a response to teach you not to do something again, so when guys get rejected by the women they like, often many times before they find one who likes them back this can have a lasting effect on that man. Now apply that to the entire male population... Going to cause all kinds of problems.

    It's not natural for people to ignore rejection like is expected of men in modern dating. Meaning that men with a good emotional intelligence are likely to do much less approaching then men who don't care about the women they chase.

    I'm sure you can see why society had gender rolls in dating, until the last few decades when why were social engineered out. Now without the old ways of doing things dating has gone feral and men have to respond to the dating market in the best ways that work, women hold the sexual power so they stipulate the rules. If you don't like the dating market blame women because they are the ones setting the standards, as your starting to notice.

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  • "It is widely viewed that a woman seems 'masculine' and 'desperate' if they persue a man with half the fervor that a man will pursue a woman."

    This is what women tell themselves and eachother after they get shut down. Sorry but he just wasn't that into you. If a guys crush makes an actual move on him (no shady body signal from across the room), he will pick things up unless unbelievably inexperienced and shy.

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  • I just love how you name an advantage that women have in dating (being able to sit back and wait for guys to approach), and then you act like that's somehow a disadvantage, like someone is literally holding a gun to your head and preventing you from making the first move.

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  • Pretty sure a girl can do something besides walk right up to a guy and ask him for his number if she's interested

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  • "being on the waiting end is frustrating"
    "It is widely viewed that a woman seems 'masculine' and 'desperate' if they persue a man with half the fervor that a man will pursue a woman."

    Stopped reading there. Pathetic excuse.

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  • If a girl walks up to a guy it doesn't mean she is desperate , If a girl walks up to a guy he knows that he can r make a friend or get a girlfriend.

    Do you know how bitchy girls are when they are at the shopping centre. And they are never alone.
    Or they are there with their friends/family or boyfriend.

    If they are there with their boyfriend :
    You have no shot of getting her.

    If they are there with family :
    You dont want to seem weird to her family.

    And when her friends is there:
    If she (the girl who is being approached ) feels that she is way out of his league, she will shut him down and let hi and her friends know she (feels) is better him.

    Girls is also too shy to walk up to guys... For the same reason... (true?) Rejection...
    The only difference is that if you go to a guy... and his friends he will feel so badass!
    All the guys would be impress with him...

    Look...
    Iam not saying that a girl should act desperate... But an act of kindness isn't equal to desperation.

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    • You bring up a good point. Many women don't make themselves easily approachable. It's already nerve wracking enough to approach a woman you don't really know and somehow ask her out when she's by herself. Adding a group of people around to witness just makes it much more intimidating for the average guy

    • This seems highly accurate, though I don't believe rejection is harder on women as it is men. Unapprochable.. yes.. I see a pattern with some of the women I try to begin a relationship with, my current situation, read my question about 'potential interest'. A man can only do so much, then it's out of your hands, the other persons turn. No response from her, no I'm not obligated to receive one but if the flirting continues, you wait for an ungodly amount of time it seems and if you try to push again, in an friendly reminder it whatever you overdo it and mess the whole thing up and waste all that time.

  • Being rejected many times is not cool

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What Girls Said 21

  • This does seem harsh... good thing I have no 'relation' to the 'dating world' - not sure if it's really a 'good thing'. Guys get pretty intimidated by me. They're always there for me n all, they give pretty clear signs they're interested. But, they don't get the courage to ask me out or anything. In my high school years, only one dude found the courage to do so but, unfortunately, he was a douche. Thats how lucky I am. ^^
    I understood the situations you've been in, but I can't say I know where you're coming from :/.

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    • If they are intimidated by you, why not ask them out?

      Would you mind if I ask you a thought experiment?

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    • why would guys be intimidated of opinion owner- she's not that pretty.

    • I dunno @alisenn9922
      Don't judge anyone before actually meeting them :)

  • its not easy to approach a guy- problem is many guys are jerks and like their egos stroked too. I'm a hot girl so most guys would reject me b/c they dont feel good enough and will take it as being asked out by a hot girl. I've never rejected a guy but most guys would reject me- not b/c theyre not into me but b/c im pretty and men are intimidated. For that reason i'd never go for a guy at all

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  • I don't like approaching guys I like because in the past, it hasn't gone well at all. I understand it's difficult for guys to approach girls and face rejection but it's the norm for a guy to approach a girl - a girl who's too forward risks making a fool of herself. A guy? No big deal. I get that it's a double standard but I like the my take author won't be putting myself out there anymore. The last time I did I ended up with a manipulative, absuive asshole so I honestly give up.

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  • I was actually keen on reading this when I saw the title. You know the myTakes and questions from bitter "nice guys"? This is exactly what this is but coming from a woman instead. Both men and women have different hardships when dating, unless you've experienced both ways then you can't say who has it harder. I never used to approach men, because I was shy and afraid of rejection. I can tell you for a fact that every guy I have approached has appreciated it in some way or form, none of them have been intimidated or emasculated to my knowledge. There's nothing wrong with going out and getting what you want, there's no point sitting around batting your eyelashes when you can do something about it!

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  • I've approached guys, been rejected no big deal, it literally doesn't hurt my ego. but what I have noticed is some men are intimidated by more straightforward women. I have heard men say women who approach them are seen as easy , maybe they have been approached by women a lot I don't know.

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  • I'm extremely shy when it comes to guys and they make me so nervous I'm sometimes on the verge of a panic attack. However, recently, I actually kind of approached the guy.

    I was in a group with a guy and another girl. I thought the guy who was in my group was really cute, but didn't think anything of it. But then I felt like I had to talk to him so I did. I'm so happy that I did because I really like talking to him. Last week was our last time working in our group. There were some signs I felt like he may have been giving me, but I'm not sure. He would say bye, but wait for me next to my desk so could walk with each other, get in my personal space, we laughed, smiled a lot. I hated the thought of never talking again. The one day I was going to say something, total disaster. He came to class late, waited for me so we could walk together, but of all classes his friend started talking to him.

    So I said "fuck it." I texted him that I liked talking to him in class and that I think he's cool. If he ever wanted to hang out to send me a text sometime. He texted me back ten minutes later that he looked working with me too and for sure about hanging out.

    Just this past Monday I sent him two picture texts. One with me looking like I'm thinking ava said, "guess where I am?" Then sent another picture of me at central park and said, "I finally made it to Central Park! Yay!" We had a conversation awhile ago about New York City and how much we like it. He texted me back less than a minute later saying how awesome it is that I was there and if I was there right now. Yesterday he texted me because he noticed I wasn't in class for a test.

    I'm so happy that I sucked it up and said something. I've come to the conclusion that just like we do with anything in life, if you want something, go for it. You could miss a huge opportunity just waiting around for something that might never happen. I wasn't letting that happen this time around.

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    • its obvious if u send a text to someone saying u like hanging with them, they'll usually reciprocate, esp if they do like u. it does take courage- sometimes u want to but can't. If u got that text you'd be pretty happy too

  • "It is widely viewed that a woman seems 'masculine' and 'desperate' if they persue a man with half the fervor that a man will pursue a woman."

    I don't know a single guy who actually thinks this. Mostly it's girls who think this. Just my experience.

    No one's forcing you to sit back and wait, so just go for it.

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  • I don't wait to be picked. I'll happily talk to a guy if I'm interested in him. Why wait for something that might not happen. I'd rather take what I want and it's not masculine or aggressive. It's simply starting a conversation with someone.

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  • I have found that men do appreciate a direct approach. Perhaps your self-confidence isn't there yet but I have never been called masculine for going after the men that I choose.

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  • Nice take! I feel like no girl ever steps up to share their point of view on dating here on GaG.

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    • Are you blind?

    • 😶 Yeah the ending 'Wow to be a man must be wonderful' definitely isn't true, I just knew all the hate she was going to get from this, so I thought she needed one nice comment to cheer her up.

  • Very interesting and very immature of the girl to treat you that way.

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  • Omg, thank you, you finally said it! I'm dealing with this situation now, having had all 3 of the people I've ever liked and love leave me for someone else whom they consider better. One is currently still in their 5th year of that relationship. But my previous guy, cursed me out 7 months straight on twitter, calling me out of my name because I finally decided to move on from him after a year trying to enter a relationship with him to no avial. We were in the talking stage for a whole year and I talked about how much I wanted to be with him, but he claimed he had trust issues, he would back off when things where going great and we where getting ready to be in a relationship. So I moved on officially and now he's in a happy relationship with someone he respects and trust, completely forgot about me.

    This next guy has been flirting with me for a year and half now, and when I show interest back he ignores me. So now I'm officially moving on, and he's chasing me again, but what will happen next? Eventually he will treat me like crap for not giving him a chance, he will move on to get married, while the one with good intentions, is left to repeat the same cycle. ... I can't help but see through the manipulation of the males on this site taken I've been through it enough. .

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    • I agree and apparentally from the guys from buzzfeed guys don't want to settle down because they always think better out there. Utter bullshit because then they will want you back when they realize you were the best for them.

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    • 3 thumbs down for what, lol because I'm right. ..

    • Im sorry about you're experience, but maybe choose who you like more in the future, I might try this out!

  • Most of the male answers-per usual in my experience-are retarded. In essence, I have met both wo/men who state that a woman approaching a man is unbecoming and masculine.

    ... but who cares about what those people think?

    I understand your situation and i know that you know both sides have their challenges, but you have the option to approach and be more successful than men (I woupd believe). Then again, you can't stop a guy treating you like a piece of meat more than a guy can have a woman be interested in him when he approaches.

    I propose that you approach your guys. I dont do it not because of rejection or cowardice, but because if I have to approach a guy first, its an instant turn off and I become unattracted.

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    • I lose interest to, when I have to do the work because I myself feel masculine

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    • That's pretty asymmetrical. What's symmetrical is I feel the same way. And I don't give a shit about the standards of olde.

    • @CaliforniaMe That's interesting to me since I find when I ask a woman out I feel like I'm being more feminine. I think it is because I have to actually talk about and state my feeling as well as letting down my guard to the possibility of being rejected. Really it is one of the very few times I feel vulnerable, that and public speaking.

  • You know what you re saying is something felt by a lot of girls. I thought it was only common in conservative societies but I was surprised that a lot of westernized peeps felt the same way like 2 of my french friends who are pretty liberal.
    But I just simply don t agree with this. I mean you get to turn down the guy no? So you have a choice.
    Some guys would disagree and complain that they have to do all the work and it s stressful for them.
    Do you think it s easy to put yourself out there? Not really.
    And I don t think it s needy nor desperate to approach the guy yourself if you like him and don t want to be a passive person.
    If it s done on a decent and chill way there is nothing wrong with that and the guy will be so grateful and eased to know that you re direct and interested in him.
    Plus if guy misbehave they get frown upon too, if a guy gets rejected or go out with a lot of girls etc...
    He also gets the silent treatment and critics.
    Not all guys want sex, some of them seek friendship too, you ve just met the wrong type.
    I have guys messaging me everyday until I friendzone them and they ignore me completely and others that are considered my closest friends.
    Don t generalize you re own experience.

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  • OLIVIA POPE WHOOO

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  • I found this mytake to be completely misleading. Men have it just as hard as women, if not harder these days. You have proved it. You just said (in a round about way) that us women have to choose from the trashy men who approach us and weed through to try to find a man worth keeping. Do you realize that that statement alone is going to make men hate us further and think we are all the same? Men hardly approach girls anymore because of women like you. The women who believe the men whom approach us aren't good enough for us. That's pathetic and bullshit! I'm so friggen lucky that I found a man as amazing as my boyfriend when I was 17. I don't have to deal with shit like this. But if I had to deal with this, I would give the men who approached me the benefit of the doubt regardless of who they seemed to be on the outside. This mytake really makes my blood boil. You're making out like men are trash and the ones who aren't are taken. You are the definition of what is wrong with women today.

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    • I think she meant more the homeless and the drunk ones, when she mentioned the trash. And on that, I understand it must be frustrating.

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    • @Transigence thank you! There are many women out there who feel just like I do on such topics, but as you said, it is hard to tell who is who anymore! I wish you the best of luck for your dating future.

    • most men are trash esp the single ones and the ones who aren't are taken. Most men are jerks they are mean to nice women and chase the bitches.. you have issues

  • The only difficult thing about dating whilst being a woman is that the older you get, the harder it gets. Unlike for a man, who often dates people younger than himself as opposed to older such as for women. That is the only thing. Therefore, everything you've mentioned is a complete biased lie.

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    • Perfectly accurate.
      Men appreciate, women depreciate.
      That's the only cookie we get.

    • It's also why I'm looking for someone 16-22 and not even slightly ashamed.

  • I am sorry about what happened to you, but would you really care if someone called you too masculine if you tried to go up to a guy and make a move? No, I think depending on the guy he will find it surprising and little bit sexy.

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    • Completely true. This "men don't want women to be masculine" shit comes completely from women. Not just women, but WEAK, COWARDLY women. It's used as an excuse for their own shitty behavior.

      Here's my calculus:
      Literally EVERYTHING you're capable of doing (however masculine-seeming) is something that will increase our children's chances for survival. End of story.

  • Attracting people is easier for attractive, socially adept people. Attracting people is harder for less attractive, less charming people. Some people have more time and income. Everyone has childhood baggage and past dating history that influences their dating experiences more than even those two things. Neither sex has a universal advantage or disadvantage.

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  • I have tried to ask guys Out. But from experience if they dont make the move its because they aren't interested in dating me.

    So not approaching guys doesn't help, and sitting back and wait for guys doesn't help either..

    So guys Who says its easy are bullshitting big time or Just very self centered

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    • Most people that anyone approaches will reject them. This is true for males and females.

      Men keep approaching anyway, because unless they're in the top 10% of males, they will never get approached, so there's no alternative.

      Women do tend to approach more as they get older (30+) because again, they don't get that many approaches, at least not from guys less than 10 years older.

    • Twice in my life, I've been approached by women who I would have never approached on my own (because they were overweight, smelled funny, and had facial hair). Both times, I gave her what she wanted. Well, one of them I gave her what she wanted because it was going to just be for one night ;) The other one I tried giving her what she wanted but... No. But she at least got a good chance -- and she got the D a few times, too.

      The reason I changed my mind is because of pressure from her. It really makes a difference.

      As an interesting side-effect, now that I've had sex with a woman with a mustache, I think mustaches are cute.

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