I've never written a myTake before so im gonna be anon..touchy topic.
So, men and women have different dating experiences based on there sex.
I see many men complain about having to muster the courage to talk to a woman and face many rejections. I also see that women and from my view complain about the worng guys coming up to them and being on the waiting end is frustrating. And I have to say I agree.
Here's why. As a woman, to have to wait and hope someone worthwhile comes up to you, not even having the choice to seek them out can be so frustrating and disapinting. It is widely viewed that a woman seems 'masculine' and 'desperate' if they persue a man with half the fervor that a man will pursue a woman.
So where does this leave us? sifting through the offers we do get. Even if they are terrible. Men seem to be advantaged that they dont have to dust off or avoid creepy men (homeless drunks if you're in NY) coming up to them for there...lets say D in this situation. How would you feel? and these homeless 'women' want to do no more than to well, you know. No undying love, no affection, of course but maybe some infection. *sigh*But women tend to offer men so much more.
For example, the other day, I saw this girl who just couldnt stand me (I'd never spoke to her, or said anything outloud to be hated or have ben connected to her circle of friends) but I found out its because i had something with a guy she liked a year ago basically, and it wasn't really anything.
She seemed SO happpy and not hating me for once, as she clung on to her new 'boyfriend' who seemed uncomfortable. Her boyfriend, practially stalked me last year with the intent of sleeping with me. Now, I eventually made out with with him ONCE (because he was there) and the guy that I wanted to choose me 'didnt', completely regret it. So, crazy thing is after I turned down sleeping with him he was so butthurt and upset that he couldnt be cordial or friendly with me and when i needed a friend, promptly invited me to his dorm and no concern about me emotionally as he once 'did'. So with no friendship, suport, I cut him off because he didn't understand boundaries or what no meant. I told him, not matter how many times he tried, to never speak to me again. Not to mention when I tried to be kind and spend time with him alone, unanswered texts etc.
So enter this girl who treats me rudely, gets her friends to give me the mean eye, and feels like she's in competition with me and with our only connection being this guy and almost gets people to exclude me , 'the new girl' to the class. She now hangs on to him, and seems clingy, when this guy doesn't seem to want her or anyone. But you know what... she gets a guy.
I hate, hate hate, to think I would have to stoop to this level to get to be with someone that I like, but I often wonder, is that how it works? Does a man womanize and treat women poorly because who he previously 'chose' rejected them? And so now they spew garbage, manipulate, and lie but some woman, somewhere runs after this wounded puppy ignoring there own pain and human dignity and just acts as a recipient for all of there garbage? While the women who refuse to deal with it, are just met with more ridiculousness?
Well, Apparently so.
In the end of my situation, I was treated like a sexual object of value only, devalued or ignored when I acted as a friend, and then villlainized and hated by this insecure girl(his now girlfriend) to badmouth me which prevented me for making friends in a new area, when I did absolutely nothing but make decisions as a female. While being upset that I would not sleep with him and he couldnt tell his buddies that he 'got me'. But, behold, he gets love and undying afftection of someone and I'm basically treated like crap from all parties. Cheers.
Wow, to be a man must be wonderful.
This is why I can't stand men a complaining about there rejections.
Because I think they dismiss a tiny detail. You. Chose. Her. You can choose, with no backlash or emotional suffering or being shamed as a slut or as desperate none of your fellow men coming after you.
You likely, went up to her, amis the other women in the room, chose this person to pursue. In the end, it was your choice regardless of the situation.
As a woman who isn't shy, or is up front about what I want, I find dating to not have equal opportunity for both parties. I can be seen as too outgoing and shyer guys or just plain not outgoing guys who will tell me in the future that they felt I wasn't interested or they felt nervouse about going up to me...
How unfair is that?
I honestly think we have it worst on the recieving end. But is there another way?
I guess I'll just hope and wait for the right answer to come along. ugh.