I'm not interested in dating, relationships, or sex. Let me explain...

[Anonymous]

I am a 20 year old female and I am NOT interested in dating, relationships, or sex. For as long as I can remember I have felt like the 'late bloomer' of the bunch because I didn't do what others normally did when it comes to dating, etc. Even in HS I was never that girl who had a different boyfriend every year. Everyone made it seem like being in a relationship was something that just HAD to be done.

I've never had a boyfriend and I haven't been in a relationship. Finally, at the age of 20, I am completely okay with that. I no longer compare myself to other girls because i'm not like other [typical] girls. I don't want to date just because someone is cute, or because I want a title. I don't want to date someone so I can have something to do or just so I can say that I am dating them. I want more. And I'll be darned if I let anyone make me feel bad for it.

When I date, I want to be courted. DO NOT ask me to 'Netflix and Chill', do not ask me out over text and do not ask me to just "hang out". What ever happened to just flat out asking someone to go out on a date. What happened to letting someone know that you like them and you want to spend time with them. What ever happened to enjoying someone's company without sex being involved.

My generation is so detached from their emotions it's frightening. I don't want to be someone's experiment. I'm not saying that i'm not willing to learn and grow with someone special but I will not be someone's option...I want to be a priority.

I'm not putting [all of] the blame on anyone else. I have a lot of growing to do on my own. The simple fact is that I want to be ready. I don't want to half do anything especially not a relationship. I want to be successful, well educated, and confident before I bring anyone into my life. I need to bring something to the table instead of just sitting and expecting others to bring something to me. I wanna be able to give my all; and I can't do that if I'm not whole within myself.

Therefore, i'm not interested!

[xslope]

"I am a 20 year old female and I am NOT interested in dating, relationships, or sex."
-And you don't have to. Do you and what fits for you.

"I don't want to date just because someone is cute, or because I want a title. I don't want to date someone so I can have something to do or just so I can say that I am dating them. I want more."
-You don't want to date or have relationships. Alrighty then! You do you.

"When I date, I want to be courted."
-Wait what? You just said you do not want to date. Who is this cruel person who is making you to date when you do not want to?

"I'm not saying that i'm not willing to learn and grow with someone special but I will not be someone's option... I want to be a priority."
-Who is this someone special? Is it your family member since you are not into dating or relationships?

"I want to be successful, well educated, and confident before I bring anyone into my life. I need to bring something to the table instead of just sitting and expecting others to bring something to me. I wanna be able to give my all; and I can't do that if I'm not whole within myself."
-That is a great way to see life. It's starting to sound more and more that you are into dating at some point.

"Therefore, i'm not interested!"
- Right now. Maybe never, but at least we all know now!

[Mekkalyn]

I think you are missing the point, sir.

[xslope]

@Mekkalyn What is the point then?

[M_A_X]

@Mekkalyn don't tell someone they're missing the point if you don't get it yourself lol

[Mekkalyn]

The point is that she is not interested in dating RIGHT NOW.
She didn't say she NEVER wanted to date, ever.

That is what you consistently say to each point... you keep bringing up that she doesn't want to be in a relationship. Which is true. But you act like she never, ever wants to be in one, which is false.

[kaylaS91]

... you sound extremely entitled. You want to basically be treated like a princess, 'courted' and basically served everything on a silver platter while offering nothing in return. At least nothing worth of being mentioned?

Then you still have the nerve to say that your 'generation is so detached from their emotions it's frightening'. I'd say you sound more frightening than your generation. You'er the kind of girl who makes it harder for the rest of us. Lacking any normal semblance of empathy then trying to pass it off as simply being 'not interested' because your Mr. Right has yet to arrive.

[rcmp1234]

I dont see anything wrong with what's she asking. All she really said was she doesn't want to netflix and chill and want to be courted. If you're not into courting, and would rather just have a guy Netflix and Chill, that's your prerogative as well.

[kaylaS91]

@rcmp1234 She 'just asked' or stated her demands in a very matter of fact manner. Sounds a lot to me like she wants everything in the relationship to be given to her on a silver platter, and not once did she mention what she'd be wiling to bring to the table, if anything at all. A bit one-sided in my eyes...

[InconspicuousBox]

She quite blatantly said that she wanted to wait until she had something to bring into a real relationship and wasn't interested in just sex or a relationship before she had something to offer a relationship. "I need to bring something to the table instead of just sitting and expecting others to bring something to me." It is extremely clear here that she doesn't want the treatment you are accusing her of demanding.

[myTake Owner]

@kaylaS91 Did you read my last paragraph? I don't want to be treated like a princess but I know my worth and will stand for nothing less because I know that I treat others the way that I want to be treated. It doesn't matter if my Mr. Right was staring me in the face, I wouldn't be interested because I am not ready. I don't feel like I am the woman that I want to be yet. That's just my logic. I hope that makes sense to you. If not, that's okay. Thanks for your opinion. I do have one question though. How exactly am I making it harder for the rest of you?

[kaylaS91]

I get where you're coming from, I'm not saying it's wrong to know what you'll accept from a partner and maintain those standards. I think the way you worded it came off a bit like a business-deal though. Accusing our generation of being emotionless or detached from their emotions, when you don't seem to mention emotions being involved in any way regarding this 'ideal relationship' you're seeking.

[myTake Owner]

No once did I say the words 'ideal relationship' I was merely pointing a couple things that I would like. No I didn't mention emotion but there are also a lot of things that didn't mention. I think you are completely missing the point and for that i'm sorry. Maybe I should have written it a bit different but I can't change that now.

[Anonymous]

In your last paragraph you mentioned you want to be successful, well educated and confident before you bring anyone into your life. I remember when i was your age i had the same thoughts and i achieved all of that and more, my career, my own house, car, everything i wanted i got, except what my heart wanted.

Today i have no one at my side and my achievements seem to take a backseat now in my life. I wish i did sacrifice some time in my twenties to find someone and maybe fall in love. It becomes so hard at my age. Most good guys are already taken. I understand what you say in your mytake and do't want to be someones experiment but also not every is out there to mess around with girls.

Some advice from an older girl who made some mistakes in her twenties.

[Anonymous]

Once you date someone your whole perspective about relationships is gonna change because it doesn't matter if you are 15 16 or 20 or 27 you still have to date more than just one guy maybe 2 but its rare that you will find your soulmate in the furst couple relationships the more you wait the harder it is because being in a relationship is one thing but going through a break up is another. And for you to learn and grow as a person and of course get to know how the dating thing is you first need to break up with someone because thats when you realize what dating is all about. Dont be so picky when it comes to "letting the special one into your life" be more open minded. Even date a guy that you might be a bit interested in just to see what a relationship is all about. You dont have to be loke other women and be in a relationship but do it for your self because the more time you let that pass the harder it is. Good luck!

[Chief16]

Sigh. Girl, get out there and booze away. You sound extremely resentful and old. As for dating, you'll only know the pros and con's after you've been in a relationship. So don't assume things. You've some pretty good points but to get what you deserve, you need to get there first.

[TheFlak36]

Although I agree with what you want to say, why do you make it sound as if hanging out or just watch a movie with someone is something bad? Of course it is not necessary for sex to be involved but damn, just a movie or spend some time like you say.

[myTake Owner]

I didn't mean it that way. What I meant is that I hate when guys call it hanging out when it's really a date. Sorry for the confusion. There is nothing wrong with hanging out if that's really what you are doing.

[TheFlak36]

It's what I like to do but girls perceive it as a date and reject me.

[MysteriousFlower]

I had other priorities when I was younger, such as studying but was still open-minded. Now that I'm also 20 I still kept all the goals but I do seek for an romantic relationship. You can still live your life and be in a partnership, I would also like to be courted but watching Netflix and sharing some of his interests is fine by me, its give and take.

[ShepherdOfFire99]

Amen my friend. The reasons I'm dating my man is because
-He kicks ass in the art of courting, he showed me he meant business. He showed me he ment forever-- and I do the same for him now as well.
-We are each other's priority
-We are both whole as people
That's what I need in a relationship. I relate!

[Anonymous]

You might want to consider what sort of man you are likely to attract. When doing so try very hard to see men as they actually are and not as you would like them to be or as they are depicted in romantic movies and books.

I'd say you are throwing a hail mary pass myself.

[NatashaJ]

I agree with you this generation is fill with assholes I'm sorry but someone had to say it. Like all people care about is themselves, what happen to caring for others? its in my nature but there a line of who I will care for :).

[M_A_X]

That's true, but that's only because there are only so many of me to go around

[NatashaJ]

That's also a other issue the fact that anyone could be replace. Maybe one day you find someone that you will realize can't be replace.

[Azara]

if you want to be courted then you are interested in dating and relationships --if only eventually., . why else would you be courted?

i understand wanting to take time--took me a few years with the same guy before we got together :)..., but thats not the same as not being interested.

[Kirah]

Sure, whatever. Just don't complain when you're 40 years old and still a virgin because you "wanted to be courted", whatever that means. I'm sure that it means something sexist and how men should bend over backwards for you, or whatever. You're not a prize or conquest, stop acting like it.

[DarkHumorRUs]

Why do people feel the need to tell us their super-specific qualifications for dating someone.

[M_A_X]

Because they're hoping that the whole world will change to meet their standards after we're aware of them

[DarkHumorRUs]

@M_A_X that would be super efficient.

[Jayded1]

I can't believe the amount of negative comments. Ignore them. Be true to yourself. If you lived closer Id ask you out properly. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you want and not settling for less.

[Anonymous]

"My generation is so detached from their emotions it's frightening." - nice mytake, i agree with most of what you say. I would like your opinion on something. How did our generation get detached from their emotions?

[EmiliaRose2355]

Well, I hear you misses! This generation doesn't meet my standards either. I know it says I'm 25 but I'm actually 22. And I'm Fine with holding off too until somebody decides to properly court me someday :)

[mishiii]

You are totally correct. You have a lot of growing up to do

[Nomad69]

You are ASEXUAL! can't expect the world or you'll always be disappointed

[M_A_X]

She's not asexual. Read the damn topic. Her problem is that her generation doesn't meet her standards.

[Anonymous]

Again another stupid mytake, I don't care about you like someone said "Because they're hoping that the whole world will change to meet their standards after we're aware of them"

[Prilee1992]

You want to date BUT you don't want to be asked to hang out.
Fuck you girl, do you know what're you talking about?

[myTake Owner]

Fuck me? No thank you. There is no need to curse at me for my opinion. You may need to grow up. And what I meant was that I hate it when guys say they wanna hang out when it's really a date. Sorry for the confusion.

[M_A_X]

She's asking for some man to instantly find her attractive and want to date her without knowing her at all

[myTake Owner]

@M_A_X Obviously you missed the point because that is NOT what I said.

[M_A_X]

What did she say then? What I saw was she wants to be courted without hanging out with anyone or getting to know them first

[PineappleBreath]

You sound really whiny maybe nobody ask you out since your a pain in the ass

[abundantlyrich]

Nice declarations. Hope it works out for you.

[abundantlyrich]

You sound detached. :)